Chapter 264: It's Not Going as You Want

Lin Du came to the nursing home where Chu Xu was staying. His mother had been waiting outside, her face haggard and she looked very tired.

Lin Du felt very distressed. A woman lost her husband and her son became mentally ill. How much courage did she need to hold on?

Walking into the ward, Chu Xu, wearing a hospital gown, looked out the window quietly.

After not seeing him for a few days, he had lost a lot of weight, and his hands were covered with needle marks.

His eyes were hollow and dull, as if he had lost all his vitality due to the cruelty of reality. The eyes that were once full of hope were no longer there.

Lin Du sat down, took his hand and stroked it gently.

Following Chu Xu's line of sight, it was a weathered, dry tree with a few stubborn leaves hanging on its branches that refused to be defeated.

Lin Du didn't say anything, but just sat quietly with Chu Xu for a long time.

How ironic that a doctor who once treated other people's psychological problems can no longer save himself.

Lin Du looked at Chu Xu with heartache, wondering why he always felt that he was not crazy, but was just using this method to escape all the pain.

Gu Nichi sent a message, reminding Lin Du that he could go back.

I am reluctant to leave and always want to accompany Chu Xu again.

He knew the pain in his heart, but he had no one to talk to.

Chu Xu's hand was held in Lin Du's palm. He slowly moved his gaze and then looked at Lin Du.

The moment their eyes met, Lin Du's heart tightened, he was not wrong.

Chu Xu held Lin Du's hand tightly. He didn't say anything, but just nodded slightly.

Lin Du responded to him with his eyes. This was a secret between them.

Back in the car, Gu Yinchi kept staring at Lin Du, fearing that he would be influenced by Chu Xu.

Gently took Lin Du's hand and asked carefully, "How is he?"

Lin Du lowered his eyes and watched Gu Nichi carefully stroking his hands. He turned his face away and looked out the window: "It's no different from death."

Gu Nishi frowned and paused as he stroked Lin Du's hand.

"You say, why is it so difficult for two people in love to be together?" Lin Du said to himself without turning back.

Gu Xinchi felt a pain in his heart, but before he could say anything, Lin Du continued, "It's rare that both of them are sincere and don't scheme or take advantage of each other, but even so, God still doesn't let them be together."

Gu looked at Lin Du's profile with disgust, as if something was blocking his throat.

The feeling of heartache surged in my heart, and words seemed so powerless. The indescribable pain went deep into my bones, like an insurmountable chasm, stretching across my heart, leaving me nowhere to hide.

One wrong step leads to another. Even if you are a hundred times sincere now, it cannot make up for the crime you committed in the past.

I was tired, panicked and scared.

His lover was right in front of him, but he obviously couldn't catch him.

After returning home, Gu Yanchi sat quietly in the study, his fingertips trembling uncontrollably.

The unprecedented feeling of powerlessness made him wonder what to do next to win back Lin Du's heart.

When Shen Zhichu called, Gu Yinchi came to his senses and had a splitting headache.

"How is he?" Shen Zhichu asked in a dull voice while smoking a cigarette.

Gu leaned back in his seat helplessly, and sighed faintly: "Not very good."

Shen Zhichu remained silent. He already knew the result, so why bother asking again?

"Did I do something wrong?" Shen Zhichu was silent for a long time and asked unwillingly.

What's wrong with Shen Zhichu? He only wants to be with his beloved, and he has no complaints even if he suffers all kinds of grievances.

But with such a terrible result, how could he not doubt himself?

"You've done everything you can, so how can you talk about right or wrong?" Gu Nichi sighed, "If you want to blame someone, blame it on fate..."

Shen Zhichu smiled bitterly, what a trick of fate.

"Do you want to continue waiting?" Gu Nichi asked.

Shen Zhichu smiled bitterly, pressing his heart: "I can't accommodate anyone here."

"You know me best. Once I make up my mind, I won't change it."

Gu Niechi chuckled: "An infatuated man."

Shen Zhichu paused and said, "I'm sorry to disappoint you. Neither of us can fulfill your wish."

Gu Yanchi bit the cigarette, but he couldn't light it.

Shen Zhichu never did anything to let Chu Xu down from beginning to end, but their ending was still so miserable.

And he...

When Gu Nichi thought about the harm he had caused to Lin Du, he could not forgive himself.

Lin Yue's situation is very bad, and his only trump card is about to be lost.

Lin Du returned to the bedroom with heavy steps and sat quietly in the dark.

Gu Nishichi's hands, which were holding onto the door, unconsciously increased their strength.

What is he thinking about? How to leave himself, or how to leave this world.

Slowly approaching, Gu Yanchi walked in front of Lin Du, he knelt on his knees and buried his head in Lin Du's legs.

He is not a crybaby, but in front of Lin Du, he can never control his emotions.

He also knew that crying was a sign of incompetence, and he was even more afraid that Lin Du would think that he was using his grievances to hold him hostage.

"Lin Du, can you hug me?"

Lin Du's hand twitched, then he put it down silently.

Not getting a response, Gu Nishi wrapped his arms around Lin Du's waist, desperately trying to feel his presence: "What can I do to keep you..."

Lin Du sighed and slowly closed his eyes: "I have been here all the time."

"Are you there? But why can't I seem to feel you?" Gu Yanshi's tears wet the corners of Lin Du's clothes, "Lin Du, give me a chance, don't abandon me."

"I can't live without you."

My heart aches as if it were torn into pieces. No words can fully express this feeling.

Lin Du sighed lightly, his biggest shortcoming in life was that he was soft-hearted.

He slowly raised his hand and gently stroked Gu's annoyed head, but still couldn't utter a word.

But just this one action made Gu Lianchi burst into tears.

He raised his head, frowning slightly: "Lin Du, I love you, I really love you!"

"Do you know this?"

The tears of boredom are so blinding, yet so heavy.

The unspeakable pain was heavy; it weighed on Lin Du's heart, making it hard for him to breathe.

It was like his throat was blocked by wet cotton, making it impossible for him to make a sound.

Even though my heart is screaming like it's being torn apart, no one can hear it.

Lin Du raised his hand and gently wiped away the tears from Gu Xinchi's eyes. He was really tired and had no strength to bear it anymore.

"Lin Du, if you can't love me, then hate me." Gu Yanchi choked, "I am willing to endure any torture, as long as you..."

Gu Nichi was too weak to continue speaking. As long as Lin Du was alive, he was willing to endure all the pain and torture he suffered.

He just wants him to live.

Shen Zhichu drove to Chu Xu's sanatorium. He leaned against the car and smoked one cigarette after another.

His lover is trapped inside, and he is trapped in a cage that he doesn't want to escape from.

This unspeakable pain was like a cold knife cutting through Shen Zhichu's skin. He could not resist it and could only endure it.

"Chu Xu, a lifetime is neither long nor short, let's just keep on being entangled like this."