Chapter 114 I Don’t Want to See You Again

Shan Qingshan said he wanted to sleep, but in fact he didn't sleep the whole night.

This incident was like a huge stone pressing on Shan Qingshan's heart.

It can't be ignored anyway.

Zhou Chong was worried about him and hadn't slept.

In the morning, Zhou Chong accompanied him to school and bought breakfast on the way. He exaggeratedly said that the egg pancake was particularly delicious and asked Shan Qingshan if he knew how to make it.

When they arrived at the classroom, Shan Qingshan sat in the back row to take care of Zhou Chong.

Zhou Chong had no books, so he asked Shan Qingshan if it was okay. Would the teacher kick him out if he came in? Should he squat under the table?

Shan Qingshan answered them one by one.

When the class started, the teacher saw Shan Qingshan, who usually sat in the front row, sitting in the back as soon as he entered the room. There was also a familiar-looking person next to him, but he didn't ask much.

However, the classmates turned their heads and looked over frequently.

As if the two of them would do something in the back row.

Shan Qingshan was not affected and continued to listen to the class.

Zhou Chong was leaning on the side, secretly playing with his cell phone with his head propped up.

As soon as the get out of class was over, Zhou Chong started talking to Shan Qingshan again, chattering non-stop.

During every break between classes at Shan Qingshan's, he always has something to say.

After the morning class, Zhou Chong and Shan Qingshan went to the cafeteria to have lunch.

Being watched along the way.

Zhou Chong kept talking all the way, just like the first time he came to the city. One moment, what is this building for? The next moment, which canteen has better food?

He was not quiet even when he was getting his meal. This one looked delicious, and he wanted to eat that one too. He sighed as he ate.

"The cafeteria chef's cooking skills are not as good as yours."

"You should have said we would go back and eat."

"The classes are all full, why bother? This one is pretty good, try it."

Zhou Chong picked up a piece of pork ribs and gave it to him.

After dinner, Zhou Chong bought two more cups of milk tea on the way back. He walked back with Shan Qingshan and they were still talking when they entered the door.

"This university has such an intense curriculum, it's harder to learn than my high school—"

Someone grabbed my collar and felt a soft touch on my lips.

Zhou Chong stopped talking abruptly, his eyes widened, unable to believe it.

Shan Qingshan: "You don't have to do this."

Zhou Chong was silent.

After a while he said, "It's a bit deliberate, but it helps to distract attention a little."

Although Shan Qingshan responded to every word today, he seemed to be shrouded in a dark cloud.

Being by his side, yet feeling like being outside of the world.

Zhou Chong wished he could be a little happier.

Even just a little bit.

Shan Qingshan held his hand and squeezed himself into his arms, enjoying the warmth of Zhou Chong holding him tightly in his arms.

I really want to clear the account.

I miss you so much.

After the afternoon class, Zhou Chong took Shan Qingshan to the prison.

The moment grandma saw Shan Qingshan, even though she was prepared, she still felt ashamed to face him.

After a while, he slowly walked over and sat at the table.

We have been apart for less than half a month, but when we meet again, I feel like a lot has changed.

Grandma's voice sounded old and tired.

"You still know it."

Xiaobao is so smart, she knew she couldn’t hide it.

"Okay, got it."

Compared to the grief on the old man's face, Shan Qingshan was almost indifferent and calm.

Grandma gritted her teeth, the muscles on her face trembled a few times, but she still couldn't control her tears and choked.

"Is it my fault?"

Shan Qingshan didn't say anything.

The answer is self-evident.

Even though he knew the reason why his grandmother concealed the truth, and he also knew that the love they had for the past 19 years was not entirely fake, the person in front of him still made him feel strange.

Shan Qingshan's voice was calm.

"I plan to pick a day to move my mother's grave. I also want to move Shan Mingli's grave, which belongs to my father, as well. I will not go back from now on."

Grandma looked at Shan Qingshan.

She knows her grandson best.

He is different from his peers.

The calmer he was, the greater the pain in his heart.

"Xiaobao, whether you are sad or disappointed, don't keep it in your heart. You can scold me, scold me... Don't hold it in."

Shan Qingshan: "I don't have anything to say."

He understands it all.

Grandma burst into tears.

Shan Qingshan seemed to have blocked her outside the barrier that protected him.

No longer a family member.

"You scold me! Scold me! I have kept this secret from you for so many years, and you have taken care of me for so many years! You are still stuck in the mountains because of me, and you almost couldn't go to college! I have dragged you down so much! I am sorry, it is all my fault!"

Shan Qingshan looked at her calmly for a while.

“It doesn’t make sense.”

Grandma suddenly fell on the table and burst into tears.

Shan Qingshan looked at her, his heart ached, but he couldn't cry.

Indifferent, calm, disappointed, happy...

A mixture of indescribable emotions.

After the interweaving, things returned to calm again, without causing any waves.

It was dead silent.

Shan Qingshan said what he was about to say.

"When you get out, I will find you a nursing home and I will pay for the expenses."

Grandma looked at him in disbelief.

"Are you still willing to support me?"

"You are not pretending to take care of me."

Grandma felt a pain in her heart.

"Xiaobao, whether you believe it or not, grandma loves you."

"I believe it."

It's love.

It doesn’t matter how much love you have.

Shan Qingshan had no intention of thinking and no energy to pursue the matter.

He is now like a machine, doing what he is supposed to do.

What is the answer? How are other people feeling? Is the sun shining brightly or dimly outside?

He doesn't care.

Shan Qingshan pushed over a business card.

"Please remember the number above. If you need anything, please contact this number."

Grandma froze and looked at Shan Qingshan in disbelief.

"You're not coming?"

"I don't want to come."

The voice is smooth and the narration is steady.

It was like a cold arrow piercing grandma's heart.

"Xiaobao, you..."

"I don't want to see you again, and don't call me Xiaobao anymore." Shan Qingshan paused, "It sounds like you favor me."

"I...Xiaobao, don't do this, don't do this! We have been relying on each other for so many years, how could you bear to abandon grandma?"

Grandma stood up tremblingly, begged, and leaned forward to grab Shan Qingshan's hand.

Shan Qingshan avoided it.

The moment you know the truth,

Thinking of the fact that he and his grandmother depended on each other for survival, he wished he could kill himself to atone for his parents' sins.

"Xiaobao, I don't want to think about what happened back then! Xiaobao! Please forgive me, please forgive me!"

Grandma cried until she was exhausted and collapsed on the ground.

Shan Qingshan glanced at her and turned away.

When grandma saw that he was leaving, she no longer cared about anything and crawled towards him, heartbroken.

She doesn't want this to be the last time they meet in this life!

She abandoned her children, so she shouldn't abandon her grandchildren too!

"Xiaobao! Xiaobao, don't abandon grandma! Xiaobao!"

The iron gate opened and closed again.

In the corridor, Zhou Chong leaned against the wall and looked at him quietly.

The old man's wails were still echoing.

Zhou Chong wanted to go in and kick the old lady’s face which was thicker than a city wall.

Shan Qingshan paused for a moment, walked over, and threw himself directly into his arms.

"I want to go home."

Zhou Chong hugged him and said, "I'll take you back."

"Um."

The car is waiting outside.

Shan Qingshan sat in the back seat, looking at the bright sunshine outside through the car window.

The bright warmth is visible to the naked eye, but when you reach out your hand you can only touch the cold glass.

Cold.

Shan Qingshan turned around and found Zhou Chong looking at him worriedly.

"Do it?"

Zhou Chong was puzzled, "What?"

"Making love?"