Chapter 19 We grew up together Ji Yunchan quietly looked at Zheng...
Ji Yunchan looked at Zheng Yong quietly and said, "We grew up together."
Zheng Yong had thought about this answer. The students had received some favor from the prefectural government and knew a thing or two about the affairs of the prefecture. He had speculated on many possibilities from these fragments.
Her brilliant literary talent, elegant demeanor, and the complicated and unspeakable entanglement between her and General Yan are all closely related to her unspoken past.
She was so secretive about it that he hesitated to ask, until now—
Seeing her tell him the truth calmly and without embellishment, Zheng Yong did not feel relieved, but his heart sank even more.
Simply because those words sounded too desperate, almost equivalent to the four words "childhood sweethearts".
"No wonder." Zheng Yongqiang smiled, as if to ease the atmosphere, and subconsciously looked at Ji Yunchan's expression, but saw that the girl was still the same.
It's hard to tell whether he mustered up the courage or was desperate, but he met those misty almond eyes head-on, his voice trembling as he spoke, "Miss Ji... seeing you suffer, I wish I could take your place."
......
The winter in Shuozhou is too long and too cold.
The icicles on the eaves seem to never fall off, the snow never melts, and the sky and the earth are nothing but gray and white, making all the people who used to love them tired of it.
Ji Yunchan felt as if her heart was frozen. When she heard these words, she felt no ripple in her heart. She just felt that this day had finally come.
She raised her eyes slightly, revealing the full brilliance of her beautiful eyes, but her expression was calm.
Being stared at by such a pair of eyes, anyone would feel that she was the only one in the world. Zheng Yong was no exception. His heart beat faster and he held his breath.
He had no idea how many followers Ji Yunchan had rejected with such an expression in the past.
Until Ji Yunchan personally pushed the distance away: "Brother Zheng, this is out of line."
"Miss Ji, I am attracted to you."
Zheng Yong's courage was undimmed, and he didn't give up. He took a step forward and said, "I will respect and love you. If you wish, I will respect and love you, and I will never let you suffer this injustice again."
But the girl opposite took half a step back and shook her head slightly.
Zheng Yong finally came to his senses and realized that he had spoken too hastily. He slowed down his voice and took out the speech he had rehearsed in his mind countless times.
Ji Yunchan listened to him explain the interests involved one by one, saying that since he had a reputation, the prefect would be wary of him and would not make things difficult for him...
The heat from the hand warmer comfortably warmed her palms. She nodded slightly, not refuting anything, but her heart was wandering.
From head to toe, not a single piece of clothing on his body was originally at home. Even this hand warmer was probably the most insignificant item among the things Yan Heng had sent him.
She regained her composure and listened to his final euphemism for the disparity between her current status and that of a general.
Ji Yunchan sighed inaudibly, feeling an inexplicable sadness.
If she had not been to the gates of hell, she might have thought that what he said made some sense, but now she felt that it was as naive as a castle in the air.
Zheng Xiucai had read the books of sages, but had never seen the bloodless swordplay. Not to mention the difference in status, just looking at the character of the prefect, all his assumptions were empty.
Maybe he meant everything he said.
But what can sincerity do? Without protection, sincerity is as pale as a feather.
......
Zheng Yong said the last sentence with an attitude of giving it a try, but he felt really guilty. Not to mention that they were childhood sweethearts, just look at how anxious General Yan was when Miss Riji was in trouble. How could his status influence him?
Seeing that Ji Yunchan didn't speak for a long time, he waited anxiously, as if waiting for the swallows under the eaves, not knowing whether they would return next year.
The wind blew the snow, and the cloak rustled.
Ji Yunchan smiled bitterly, "Brother Zheng, I already have someone in my heart."
After saying this, I felt a little dazed. I haven't said this for a long time.
When she was young, Yan Heng was angry about this because she refused to say it to her admirer in front of him, and she often retorted to her in a sarcastic way.
That title originally belonged to him, but she was trying to make him angry.
Now, as fate would have it, she is the one who has lost her status.
Ji Yunchan lowered her eyes, hiding the expression in them.
......
Zheng Yongyan heard such rejections, and besides feeling disappointed, he also felt a sense of relief.
He thought back to what had happened in recent days and realized that this result was within his expectations. When he calmed down, he felt only shame.
He took two steps back, bowed, and said, "I've been cautious and cautious, and I feel guilty about this matter. It's only right that you didn't choose me."
Ji Yunchan bowed in return, "Brother Zheng, why do you have to do this?"
When Zheng Yong stood up, Ji Yunchan did not. She continued, "Since we were exiled here, Brother Zheng and Aunt Zheng have provided us with countless timely assistance. They have helped us so much. Without them, our family would have starved to death long ago."
"Neighbors, as they should be."
Zheng Yong hurriedly said, "Miss Ji, you're not well yet, why do this?"
After saying this, Zheng Yong suddenly realized——
With such a deep affection, how can I feel indebted?
Ji Yunchan stood up and nodded slightly to Zheng Yong.
Zheng Yong was dejected, thinking that he would never be able to wait for his beloved swallow to appear again.
He reluctantly said his goodbyes and left.
Ji Yunchan stood there, lowered her eyes to look at the snow with footprints on it for a while, turned around, lifted the door curtain to keep out the cold, and was about to go into the house.
"Sister." Yun'e peeked out of the kitchen doorway, holding a medicine bowl. She glanced at the direction Zheng Yong had left, then at her eldest sister. She couldn't help but ask, "Why did you see that Brother Zheng looked so distraught when he left? What did you say to him?"
As he spoke, he walked into the room through the curtain that Ji Yunchan had opened.
"Nothing, give me the medicine."
Ji Yunchan didn't want her to know about this, so she deliberately changed the subject.
She stirred the spoon and didn't feel the bitterness at all, so she drank it all in one gulp.
After gathering his spirits again, he went into the inner room.
......
When Ji's mother saw Ji Yunchan coming back, she urged her to go to bed and scolded her for being so reckless.
The room was warm, the charcoal fire was burning brightly, and the smoke made people feel relaxed both physically and mentally. Ji Yunchan smiled and said that she would never do that again.
Ji's mother was angry and tucked the quilt up for Ji Yunchan.
Talking about business: "By the way, Yan Heng got our family's indenture from the prefect, gave it to me, and even arranged a new place to live and a job for us."
Ji Yunchan was caught off guard and nodded silently when she heard her mother say this.
This is indeed Yan Heng's style.
But if we make such a big fuss, I'm afraid we will inevitably have conflicts with the prefect.
But it was for her.
I thought he didn't care, but now it seems like he still has feelings for her. Did he find out after seeing her almost die? He was avoiding her at first...
It was a blessing in disguise.
Ji Yunchan asked herself, it would be fake to say she was unhappy.
But this lingering feeling was probably no longer able to withstand the tossing and turning. Thinking of this, Ji Yunchan clutched the quilt tightly in fear.
It’s like holding the corner of the clothes of someone who was lost and found again, and never daring to let go, for fear of being left behind.
It was you who left him behind.
She briefly belittled herself, thinking it was ridiculous and shameless to judge others by herself.
"From now on, we'll be ordinary people." Ji Yunchan's mother's voice, somewhat lamenting, interrupted her thoughts. She looked up at her mother's happy expression, which was filled with hope for the future, and said with a smile, "The new place is much better than this one. It's on the street behind his house. When Yuanyuan recovers, we should move there."
Ji Yunchan didn't know how long it had been since she had seen this look on her mother's face. Over the past year or so, all she had been worried about was the three of them. Because she was powerless and overly worried, she was always bedridden.
She couldn't help but feel relieved and responded with an "Yeah".
Ji's mother held Ji Yunchan's hand, sighed for a while, and then seemed to remember something and hesitated to speak.
Ji Yunchan was puzzled: "What's wrong, mother?"
Ji's mother then spoke: "Yan Heng has truly saved our family this time, and he has arranged all these things in detail. It seems that he still cares about you. Otherwise, Zheng Xiucai next door..."
Ji Yunchan understood what her mother hadn't said yet. Thinking of what had just happened, she decided to stop her mother from thinking this way. She then said, "Brother Zheng is a man of great talent and dignity. Aunt Zheng has high hopes for him. His future and family are important, not love."
But the word "love" is the most unreasonable, making people worry and hesitate.
Zheng Yong is like this, and so is she.
When talking about Yan Heng, even though he tried his best to restrain himself, he lost his usual clarity and lucidity.
Ji Yunchan was unsure and spoke softly, "As for Yan Heng...after all, I've been unfair to him, so how can he expect me to be treated any other way?"
Ji's mother immediately understood what her daughter meant.
It's just that bystanders always see things most clearly, and as someone who has been through it all, I tried to persuade my daughter several times, but she just took it as a consolation.
She wanted to say something but stopped herself, and finally just held her daughter in her arms with heartache.
Well, some things can only be understood through personal experience.
It just takes time.
Ji's mother patted her daughter on the back and comforted her, "There will always be a chance to repay Zheng Xiucai's favor."
"Yuanyuan, our lives will get better and better."
......
When the Ji family moved, many people from the general's mansion came to help, so even the neighbors couldn't help.
There wasn't much belongings in the hut, so they were all moved in one trip by renting a car.
Zheng Yong stood at the door, staring blankly at the car as it gradually went away and disappeared from his sight, just like his interaction with the girl from the Ji family.
Zheng's mother came out of the house at some point and stood beside her son.
"Mother knows, Yong'er, you like the girl from the Ji family."
Zheng Yong turned his head and looked at his mother, waiting for her next words.
Mother Zheng sighed, "The daughter of the Zheng family is beautiful, sensible, and capable. Mother likes her too."
"It's just," she changed the subject and looked at her son with heartache, "It's just that he's too beautiful and too capable. He's not something we can afford."
Zheng Yong was silent for a moment and nodded.
"Son, calm down. The provincial examination is approaching," Zheng's mother advised.
"My son knows."
......
The Ji family's new residence was much more spacious than their previous one. At least the siblings each had their own room, and they didn't have to live in the same thatched hut as before, with the mother and daughter squeezed together.
Changsui came over at noon and bought some more things.
The siblings packed up and went to the general's mansion to take up their posts the next day.
The doorman led them in. Before stepping into the general's mansion, Ji Yunchan looked at the stone lions on both sides of the gate, and was moved by the scene.
Within a month, my mood and situation were completely different. I didn't know if it was fate or something else.
But I am powerless and my words carry little weight. I have struggled for a long time, but I still cannot control my own destiny and have been pushed to this point.
She closed her eyes and stepped into the gate of the general's mansion.
......
The doorman led the man all the way to Chang Sui.
Chang Sui met a few people and was as warm and polite as ever. He gave a few instructions, and then the maids and servants took Yun'e and Qin Nian away respectively, leaving Ji Yunchan alone.
"Miss Ji, come with me."
He took Ji Yunchan through the corridor to a courtyard in the front yard.
There are many plants in the yard, which must be quiet and peaceful in spring and summer. However, it is winter now, and there are dead branches everywhere. It should be bleak, but with the snow falling on the branches, it looks a bit elegant.
When Ji Yunchan passed through the hanging flower gate, she noticed the inscription on it. Then, looking at the closed door and the plaque, she had some guesses in her mind.
Could this be Yan Heng’s...study?
Before she could think about it, Chang Sui pushed open the door.
Ji Yunchan followed him into the room and saw a painting hanging on the wall opposite, with calligraphy on both sides of the painting. Walking further in, she saw a bookshelf with a desk underneath.
Yan Heng was sitting at the desk.
He was dressed in a blue robe, holding a scroll in one hand, with a relaxed posture, as if he was still that outstanding young man.
Those painful and torturous years seemed to have vanished into thin air, as if they had never happened.
Ji Yunchan stood there, as if standing at the end of time.
A bitter feeling welled up in her heart and tears welled up in her eyes.
Until Yan Heng noticed her gaze and raised his head.
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