episode 74
9:30 PM, Siam World Hotel.
Huge floor-to-ceiling windows divide the shimmering river view from the air-conditioned interior. An unidentified Buddha image, gilded all over, is embedded in the wall, below which sits a smoky purple incense burner. Three pinkish-purple incense sticks are lit and inserted in the center of the burner, releasing a deep and rich aroma of sandalwood that reaches deep into the lungs, clearing the mind and body.
A few minutes later—
The door was violently pushed open.
A tall man in a suit walked in carrying a thin young man.
The young man was almost imprisoned in the man's arms. The man's hands were tightly gripping his arms, and the veins on his arms were bulging from the force. His palms and the flesh where the young man was being gripped were both bluish-pink.
The huge room was completely silent, and the two people in the darkness did not utter a word.
After an unknown amount of time, He Xun tugged at Mo Shilin's collar and, unusually, bit his lower lip and spoke cautiously, "You're hugging me too tightly, can you loosen your grip a little?"
"Shut up!"
Mo Shilin's face was so cold it could shatter ice. Without a word, he pressed He Xun down onto the bed, suppressing his anger as he said, "Lie down! Let me check if you're injured!"
broken.
This person is genuinely angry.
A wise man knows when to yield, and He Xun dared not provoke the man any further, so he obediently lay still on the bed.
Mo Shilin impatiently took off his suit jacket and threw it on the ground. He rolled up his shirt sleeves, pressed on He Xun's shoulders, and examined him from top to bottom, from the top of He Xun's head all the way down to the soles of his fair feet.
They examined it inch by inch, scrutinizing every bit, not letting a single piece of skin or flesh escape their notice.
Only after confirming that He Xun was truly unharmed, with only a few bruises on his arm from the fight, did Mo Shilin bury his head in He Xun's neck and let out a long sigh of relief.
But immediately afterward, an overwhelming sense of lingering fear washed over him.
He dared not imagine what would have happened if he hadn't arrived in time, if he hadn't arranged for two bodyguards to accompany him beforehand...
He couldn't accept even the slightest possibility of losing He Xun.
The thought of this made him unable to suppress his anger any longer. Tonight might be the night he experienced the most emotional upheaval of his life, comparable to a volcanic eruption.
He gripped He Xun's chin tightly, laughing angrily, "Are you out of your mind? What are you thinking? If I hadn't arrived in time, you would have been shot, you know that?! Who do you think you are? Are you so confident that you can come back unscathed all by yourself? Do you know how many of them there are? Do you know that they have guns? Do you know whose guns Cheng Qianyu's henchmen borrowed? Do you think you can do whatever you want just because you have some skills? What if you died there tonight? Have you thought about that? Tell me, what are you thinking?!"
His eyes were bloodshot as he stared intently at He Xun, his chest heaving violently with rage.
The young man in her arms kept his head down and didn't speak, his long eyelashes trembling, looking very pitiful.
The other party remained silent, and Mo Shilin's heart sank. A whole host of words stuck in his throat, unable to be uttered or swallowed.
Just as he began to reflect on whether his words had been too harsh, He Xun finally raised his head, looked at him quietly for a while, and then blinked his almond-shaped eyes very slowly: "Thinking of you before you lost your memory."
"......"
Mo Shilin's fire went out instantly.
"Baby......"
She was angry at herself for being unable to resist fate and suffering from amnesia, but also felt sorry for He Xun for having endured it all alone for so long.
The thought of it makes my heart ache so much I can hardly breathe.
He dared not imagine what He Xun was feeling at the time; when he mustered his courage, all he received was his lover's unfamiliar and cold defensiveness.
"How can you be so patient..." He swallowed hard, gently stroking He Xun's face, then cursed himself, "I'm so damn stupid, how could I forget you?"
He leaned down and kissed He Xun's almond-shaped eyes, then solemnly took He Xun's hand, his eyes and tone sincere: "He Xun, I like you, will you be with me?"
"I really, really, really like you."
The man's deep, magnetic voice lingered in his ears, and He Xun's cheeks flushed slightly. He shifted uncomfortably, hesitated for a moment, and finally asked the question that had troubled him for so long with great sincerity: "Why do you like me? Is it because—my face matches your aesthetic, or because my body arouses your desire?"
He knew that he genuinely liked Mo Shilin.
But he wasn't sure if Mo Shilin loved him completely, inside and out.
Tonight I witnessed his reckless idealism; do I still love him?
He didn't speak, but Mo Shilin seemed to be able to completely guess his thoughts.
He stared at He Xun intently for a few seconds, then reached out and straightened He Xun's body. His cold face was devoid of any smile; his expression was solemn, almost as if he were in a company meeting.
“Listen to He Xun.”
The cold, indifferent voice made He Xun tense up, his fingers clenching the snow-white sheets.
Mo Shilin stared at him intently and said, "I can tell you without reservation that, given my status and class, I have seen countless people with perfect appearances, men and women, and so many have thrown themselves at me that it's almost impossible to count them all, but I have never had any of them the thought of doing the same thing to you."
"I've seen many social occasions that are quite daring, violating human ethics, challenging physiological boundaries, and things you can and can't even imagine. I've seen them all for various reasons, so you don't have to worry that I only say I like you because of your face."
He reached out and rubbed He Xun's moist lips, his eyes burning: "But I also admit that I'm a shallow person when it comes to you. I liked you the first time I saw you. I like your face and I also have desires for your body. When you brought me milk to the hotel once, looking into your eyes, I wanted to take you to bed... But besides that, I also like your idealism, your agile skills, your little tiger teeth, the crab roe buns you bought, you sleeping in my bed, arguing with me, and your willingness to risk everything for people who are completely unrelated to you... I like everything about you."
“You are the most special, He Xun. You are the most special in my heart. Before you, I have never treated anyone like this.”
"And—" Mo Shilin paused subtly, then said in a low voice with a hint of resentment, "Do you know how torture it is for me to see you walking around in front of me every day dressed as a male servant?"
"So you changed the dress into pants later?" He Xun's cheeks flushed slightly. He pursed his lips, subconsciously hiding his little tiger teeth, and let out a soft snort from his nose. "Who knows if you're telling the truth or not."
"You little ingrate," Mo Shilin scoffed, pulling He Xun's hand to his shoulder. "Isn't this proof that I love you?"
The jagged, deep scar pressed against his palm, shooting straight to his heart. He Xun's hand trembled, as if he had touched a hot potato, and he abruptly pulled it back. After a few seconds, he stroked the man's shoulder again, his cold voice trembling, "You still haven't told me why you were injured here?"
"I stabbed myself because I realized I couldn't resist the plot." Mo Shilin said casually, then took He Xun's hand and placed it on his arm. "These bruises are from when I went to get electroconvulsive therapy to remember you."
As he spoke, he seemed to remember something and clicked his tongue in annoyance: "If I had known that regaining memories was this easy, I would have banged my head against a tree a long time ago."
"Stop talking."
He Xun finally couldn't help but interrupt him.
He bit his lip and hugged Mo Shilin tightly, clutching the fabric of Mo Shilin's shirt. His voice trembled with tears as he said, "I don't want to hear it anymore! Don't say it!"
Feeling the soft touch in his arms, Mo Shilin's heart went numb for a moment.
He sighed, gently stroking He Xun's back, and coaxed softly, "It's alright, baby...it's alright now, aren't I fine?"
......
After an unknown amount of time, Mo Shilin finally got up and turned on the bedside lamp.
The incense sticks in front of the Buddha painting were about to burn out. Mo Shilin opened the drawer, grabbed a large handful of incense sticks, and lit them with a lighter.
"Click—"
The fragrance of agarwood in the air suddenly intensified, its sweet scent permeating every corner of the room and violently enveloping the spacious bed.
Before him was a painting of a Buddha. Mo Shilin's movements were quite devout. He slowly inserted the incense stick into the center of the incense burner. The soft incense ash sank in and then immediately sealed it tightly.
He Xun frowned slightly and looked up at him.
Mo Shilin stared at him for a while, then picked up his phone and turned on the camera.
He wanted to record this precious day.
He Xun raised his hand in a gesture of blocking, then bit his lip and said weakly, "...If this gets out, I will really kill you."
Mo Shilin chuckled softly: "Impossible."
impossible?
Before He Xun could even ponder whether this "impossible" meant the other party thought he couldn't possibly kill him, or that it was impossible for them to release the video, the scene before him made him dizzy.
Soon, tears welled up in his mouth, and he turned his face away in unbearable pain. Mo Shilin removed his hand, pinched his chin, and straightened his face. "I want to see."
"Baby," the man said softly, stroking his waist, "please call me that."
"Mo Shilin..."
Mo Shilin took a deep breath and said, "Call me husband."
“...Husband.” He Xun cried out, his voice choked with sobs.
Mo Shilin's breathing suddenly became erratic. He couldn't help but bite He Xun's lips and said in a hoarse voice, "I love you."
"I...I love you too."
He Xun's fingers suddenly gripped the bed sheet, tears streaming down his face.
*
The next day, early morning.
When the sky was still dimly lit and the first light of dawn was just beginning to appear, He Xun's biological clock started ringing automatically.
He slowly opened his eyes, only to be met with complete darkness—because Mo Shilin was holding him tightly in his arms, his entire head buried against Mo Shilin's chest.
"......"
Are you planning to smother him to death?
He Xun took a deep breath and gently pulled his head out, but an indescribable soreness spread to his limbs, as if his whole body had been violently disassembled and then violently reassembled.
The memory of last night's lovemaking is still vivid.
Once in bed, once in front of the French windows, and then again after we went into the bathroom to shower and go to sleep.
Finally, exhausted and sleepy, he couldn't take it anymore and cried, saying he didn't want his husband anymore. He was forced to say a lot of nonsensical things before Mo Shilin reluctantly carried him to bed.
As soon as he moved, his lower abdomen rumbled. He Xun, feeling ashamed and indignant, pushed Mo Shilin away and tried to get out of bed, but the next second, Mo Shilin, who was pretending to be asleep, picked him up by the waist.
Meeting his angry and incredulous gaze, Mo Shilin blinked his phoenix eyes and said innocently, "I'll help you wash."
He added, "You're out of energy, aren't you?"
"..."
Then, as expected, as anticipated, and as logically as possible, the exhausted He Xun was forced to do it again in front of the mirror.
The scoundrel was refreshed, but He Xun didn't even have the strength to curse. His waist and thighs were covered with bright red finger marks from Mo Shilin's pinching.
He fell asleep again and drifted off to sleep.
I slept straight through until evening.
......
The golden twilight shone through the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, spreading across the snow-white but messy bed.
He Xun propped himself up on his arms and slowly sat up from the bed, the white blanket covering his shoulders falling off with him.
A quick glance revealed Mo Shilin sitting by the floor-to-ceiling window, smoking a cigarette and processing work emails.
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