Perhaps this wasn't their first meeting; their first meeting was when he was still a child.
He saw everything in the illusion: his mother became pregnant out of wedlock and secretly gave birth to him in a small village. However, when his maternal grandfather found out about this, in order to prevent the family scandal from being exposed, his maternal grandfather forcibly took his mother back and ordered two guards to kill her.
The two guards, unable to bring themselves to do it but also unwilling to disobey their master's orders, threw him into a dense forest next to the village, hoping that wild animals would eat him.
Then, Liuli appeared. She saved him from the jaws of a hungry wolf and gave him the name Bailing.
In the illusion, he saw Liuli sitting under a tree, repeatedly teaching him to call her name—"Liuli, Liuli..."
Because he didn't know whether what happened in the illusion was real or not, and feared that it was just his imagination, he kept everything to himself and refused to speak it aloud.
Later, he encountered Liuli time and time again, and unknowingly, her image slowly appeared in his heart. That image deepened little by little and gradually became a mark on his heart.
He recalled their chance encounter on New Year's Eve in Yingyang City, and her smiling face amidst the sound of firecrackers.
He remembered how they depended on each other for survival in the Demon Palace, how she forcibly fed him the Rejuvenation Pill, the warm and soft touch of her lips, and the tremor in his heart at that moment.
He remembered the look in his senior brother's and master's eyes when they escaped from the bottom of Lingxiao Peak hand in hand. It was from that moment that he decided to stay away from her and keep a sufficient distance from her.
Later, on an island in the East China Sea, he hardened his heart and made things clear to her, and she cried uncontrollably.
For the next ten years, he deliberately distanced himself from her. Occasionally, they would meet at places where rare treasures were fought, but he would always try his best to stay away from her and never dared to say a word to her. However, it was also during those ten years that he began to miss her uncontrollably in the dead of night and began to look forward to the day when another rare treasure would be born, so that he could secretly catch a glimpse of her.
Ten years later, he unexpectedly discovered the Xuan Tie Mine and was almost besieged and killed by the demons. Even though he had been so distant and cold towards her for the past ten years, she still opened her arms wide to shield him from all dangers.
On the swamp, in order to save her and prevent his senior brother from fighting her, he knew very well how hurtful his words were, but he had no choice but to harden his heart and say those words one by one, hurting her heart and causing himself unbearable pain.
In the quiet of the night in the Bodhi Temple's Buddhist hall, he thought she was a dream, so he embraced her. He still remembers that warm feeling, a feeling that brought him so much peace, that he was completely immersed in it, a feeling he had never experienced before in his life.
...
These images finally settled on her frail little face, and the hilt of the monk's knife he was holding; the entire knife was hidden in her heart.
A massive amount of blood stained the scene before him, and Shi Chan's emotions surged, nearly causing him to go mad again.
He took a deep breath, barely managing to steady himself, and then, in a moment of confusion, the scene suddenly shifted.
It was a grand opening ceremony for sermons. On the high platform, a gentle-looking monk sat cross-legged, his face filled with piety and solemnity, loudly explaining the scriptures, interpreting the precepts, and propagating the Dharma. Below the platform, a thousand Buddhist disciples listened attentively.
Such images flashed before Shi Chan's eyes. Each time, the monks on the high platform were different, but the pious solemnity on the faces of each monk giving sermons was the same. And each time, hundreds or even thousands of Buddhist disciples listened to the sermons below the platform.
Then, the images flashed by one after another, vaguely showing a gray-robed monk traveling across mountains and rivers to spread Buddhist teachings and save suffering beings. He had once gone to the northwestern border of the Central Plains to save an entire town from a plague. He had once gone to the southwestern border of the Central Plains to save the life of a white fox.
These images flashed by extremely quickly. Shi Chan vaguely saw them, but the evil aura in his heart was gradually dispelled and vanished like smoke.
He slowly stopped reciting the scriptures, and his eyes gradually opened, his gaze clear and wise, as if he had traversed millions of years in the blink of an eye and had already experienced all the vicissitudes of life.
But soon, all those images were forgotten by him. In his mind, there was only Liuli's lifeless little face, so cold and unfamiliar. His tears flowed uncontrollably, instantly covering his face.
“Master…” Shi Chan knelt at the feet of Zen Master Daming, his voice choked with sobs, and said, “I killed her… I killed her…”
"How could I... how could I... kill her..."
"She's dead, Master, she's dead..."
He knelt down at the feet of Zen Master Daming, sobbing uncontrollably, and said, "Master, I...I love her..."
The Great Master Ming looked down at Shi Chan with gentle eyes and asked softly, "Do you love her? Why do you love her?"
Shi Chan was silent for a moment, his voice choked with emotion, and he said in confusion, "I don't know why, but I... really love her."
Zen Master Daming said gently, “Because she saved you time and time again? Because she died for you? Zen Master, have you ever thought that it was just her repaying the karma she planted for you? Perhaps, in a past life, you also died because of her? Yet you regard this entanglement of cause and effect as love. Can you tell me, you say you love her, but how much do you really love her?”
At this point, Shi Chan made no attempt to conceal his feelings. He let his thoughts run wild and blurted them all out, his voice choked with emotion and almost desperate, saying, "I love her, I love her to the bone. I would give anything to bring her back to life, I would give my life for hers... As long as she can come back to life, I am willing to renounce my vows for her. I will not practice Buddhism, I will not seek Buddhahood, I will not seek transcendence... As long as, as long as she can come back to life..."
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