I miss the time when you were cursing me, but I have no proof. Shen Jiao pretended not to hear, "Your Majesty, if you're not eating well, you're out of your mind. Let's eat first."
She needs to eat her fill so she can go back and nibble on dried fish sooner.
It won't be crispy when it gets cold.
Ji Yan pretended not to hear. He went back to lie down, doing exactly the same thing as before. The only difference was that his robe seemed to be open even higher... No, this is terrible! She couldn't be curious about this.
The tyrant lay there weakly, though it was obvious he was faking it. Ji Yan remained silent and motionless, his pale face gloomy and somber, but the corners of his lips were curled upwards. His entire being conveyed a message: Come quickly, come and ambush me!
This is not good, not good at all. Shen Jiao has always been a worker who follows orders. Today, she was told that she could only serve food and that she could only serve food without any pay. She is not going to be a fool who does two jobs at the same time.
"Your Majesty, even when someone launches a sneak attack, they need to prepare a hidden weapon or something. You see, I have nothing. How about we eat first and reschedule for another day?"
Ji Yan opened her eyes again, her eyes filled with strange confusion, as if she were looking at a fool. "I've already lay down, and you still want to prepare hidden weapons?"
With an air of "I've done all this and you still can't do it? What use are you?", Shen Jiao nodded without blushing, "Yes, Your Majesty, you should know that I'm very incompetent these days."
“I know what I’m talking about.” Ji Yan turned over and sat cross-legged, a few strands of long, black hair hanging down his chest. He raised an eyebrow and smiled, “I just didn’t expect you to be this bad, not even as good as a three-year-old.”
The food was better than he expected.
"This is basic procedure, Your Majesty, please understand."
Shen Jiao was already used to the troll's sarcasm and insults in nine out of ten sentences. She let it go in one ear and out the other. She knelt in front of the small long tea table and began to set out the dishes. Actually, there was nothing much to prepare, just two bowls of meager white rice porridge, and not even a plate of pickled vegetables.
How come the emperor of the Great Yan lives like a monk, even less than a commoner like her?
Shen Jiao had everything ready. She looked at Ji Yan, who was sitting upright. Everything was set out, so why wasn't he eating yet? She had no experience serving the emperor meals before. Did Qin Shi Huang and the others have to have a starting ceremony for their meals?
After waiting for a while, she noticed that the tyrant was just tilting his head slightly, showing no intention of touching his chopsticks, and was simply watching her quietly.
He looked puzzled.
Shen Jiao was also puzzled.
She hesitated for a long time, then picked up the bowl, scooped out a spoonful of white rice porridge, blew on it, and held it to Ji Yan's lips. "Ah."
Is that alright now?
Ji Yan: "..."
"What are you doing?" Ji Yan was inexplicably fed, frowned, took a symbolic lick, and spat it out. "This is punishment for you. Are you provoking me?"
"No, no."
The punishments these days are truly diverse, varied, and unique. Shen Jiao was starving, so without saying a word, she picked up the bowl and gulped it down.
Ji Yan asked, "How does it taste?"
"Not bad?" Shen Jiao hesitated for a moment before giving a tentative answer.
Isn't it just the taste of plain white rice? Could it be that she's like Pigsy eating ginseng fruit, a little ungrateful? Or did she put some kind of poison in the porridge that will cause her intestines to rot?
Seeing the tyrant's face turn sinister at a visible speed, Shen Jiao was startled and immediately added, "It has a somewhat indescribable feel to it."
Ji Yan: "What's that smell?"
Shen Jiao exaggeratedly clutched her stomach and curled up beside him, tilting her head back and pitifully reciting her lines: "Anyway, it's awful, extremely awful, so awful I feel like throwing up. I've never eaten anything so awful in my life."
Ji Yan was finally satisfied. He was happy when she was unhappy. He said smugly, "It's good that it doesn't taste good. This is porridge made by burning your bedding. Don't make me unhappy in the future, or you'll suffer."
What does "you'll suffer" mean?
Shen Jiao: "..."
Does that mean burning one of her bedding every day? But strictly speaking, although she has the right to use the bedding, the ownership still belongs to you, brother.
She's a spendthrift, and she'll never agree with anyone being ranked number one.
Furthermore, she didn't say it tasted bad. You, as the ruler of a nation, are so childish as to argue with a weak woman. Do the people of Great Yan know this?
"Yes, yes, yes, I will follow Your Majesty's teachings. From now on, I will only try to make Your Majesty happy." He still had to coax him. After all, he was a tyrant. When you're under someone's roof, you have to survive to live a long life.
"Hahaha... Hypocritical." Ji Yan suddenly burst into laughter. "You... You look so stupid talking nonsense."
Shen Jiao: "..." Your stupid laugh is also stupid, thank you.
Throughout history, emperors have been inherently suspicious, but Shen Jiao had never seen anyone like Ji Yan who could feel disgust and suspicion even from the slightest flattery.
I'm inexplicably curious, so let me make a bold guess: what I'm saying is that when the tyrant was young and impetuous, he dated someone and got dumped? Turns out, the person who cheated on him was actually his own brother?
Ji Yan paused abruptly as he chuckled, leaning closer to Shen Jiao. She could clearly count the number of his eyelashes as they moved. His voice was soft and low: "By the way, my name is Ji Yan. What's your name?"
"Chen Jiao." Introducing himself before asking someone's name shows that even a tyrant can be approachable and polite.
Ji Yan laughed heartily, "Hahaha... Shen Jiao, you look so stupid talking nonsense."
Shen Jiao couldn't take it anymore: "...Damn it." So damn angry.
He was upset by the lack of a full name in the mockery, so he pulled this stunt. What a lunatic, always having nothing better to do.
She vowed that she would curse his ancestors for eighteen generations a hundred times tonight!
...
Ji Yan was in a rare good mood; at least from childhood to adulthood, he could count the number of times he was happy on one hand.
A tyrant is a tyrant after all, full of pretentiousness. It would be a waste for him not to go a little crazy during such a rare good mood.
So, while Shen Jiao was thinking about frying dried fish, Ji Yan held her in her arms and they flew all over the roof. The wind messed up Shen Jiao's hair and disturbed her mind.
The wind was too strong, and she couldn't open her eyes or see her surroundings clearly; all she knew was that there were houses everywhere.
A lone man and woman strolling through Langya at night—it sounds so romantic, but she only felt an unusual chill. The weather wasn't cold, but Ji Yan felt a chill running through her body. After spending this time together, she was certain that the tyrant wasn't just mentally ill; his body seemed to be sick as well.
If she had this body temperature, she would have been dead for at least three days and three nights.
Ji Yan felt the hamster in his arms trembling. He pressed down her hair, which was blowing wildly in the wind. "Don't be afraid. You haven't killed me yet. I won't let you go first."
Shen Jiao: "I'm not afraid."
"Then why are you shaking? Are you having a seizure?" Ji Yan glanced at her with a look that said, "I can see right through your act."
Shen Jiao: "..."
She hesitated whether to tell the tyrant that she was cold and couldn't stand his temperature, but she was also worried that if the tyrant thought she was disgusted by her, he might send her away in a fit of anger.
After all, serving a ruler is like serving a tiger, let alone serving a mentally ill person.
"Are you afraid of the cold?" The tyrant spoke up as Shen Jiao hesitated.
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