Chapter 23 Chapter 23 Memories
Considering how much Zhao Qingxun doted on Feng Ling, he definitely felt that giving her a white horse as a birthday gift was not enough. He was also quietly preparing other ceremonial things for Feng Ling.
"The weather in Beijing is very good now. You should come back and spend the summer vacation here with the baby. Then I can see both of you at the same time." Zhao Lan missed her son and did not want him to stay in Switzerland alone, so she often tried to persuade Zhao Qingxun to return to China, intentionally or unintentionally.
"Okay." Zhao Qingxun's heart was no longer as peaceful as before. He was often disturbed by inexplicable thoughts and concerns. It was difficult for him to stay at home in Bern without distractions as he did in the past. Instead of reporting safety and chatting with his mother and Fengling via video every day, it would be better for him to return to Beijing early to reunite with his family.
When Zhao Qingxun was away from Beijing, Feng Ling kept her schedule packed. Besides completing her studies, she took the initiative to study finance and management, laying the foundation for managing the foundation in the future without overly burdening Zhao Qingxun. Most interestingly, Feng Ling was not extravagant. She had no frivolous hobbies and never squandered a penny. She was incredibly frugal, yet she had a keen interest in investing and financial management, and enjoyed saving and accumulating money.
As her sophomore year neared its end, many of Feng Ling's classmates were already auditioning for roles in films. While they might not necessarily be big productions, they were at least actively pursuing them, preparing for their official debuts. Feng Ling was indeed even luckier. She was already a professional actress, and a film queen herself. Many of her classmates assumed she was aloof, but upon getting to know her, they discovered she was a naturally polite person without pretentiousness or temper.
Before returning to Beijing, the weather in Bern was warm, but Zhao Qingxun had actually been ill for some time. He had been suffering from anemia and hypoglycemia. His appetite was poor, and his physical condition was even worse. Food alone was completely inadequate to replenish his body, and medication could only keep his physical indicators from deteriorating. Waking up each day was the most painful experience for Zhao Qingxun. His paralyzed limbs were stiff, and his spinal cord, which had been operated on, was numb and painful. The dizziness and discomfort took a long time to subside. When his condition worsened, even with oxygen for a long time, he couldn't get up, so he had to stay in bed.
The weather got warmer, but his health didn't improve. He had a low fever intermittently, which made him lose his appetite. He didn't eat for several days and didn't even have the strength to speak. In the video, he was able to say a few words to Zhao Lanyin, but after that, he didn't speak for half a day and was always drowsy.
After being paralyzed for almost seven years, Zhao Qingxun was already devastated and had given up all hope.
Flying back to China from Switzerland, Zhao Qingxun endured the weakness and dizziness brought by the medicine and the long flight, and only drank a little water along the way. After landing, he felt as if his breathing was better, but he no longer had the strength to open his eyes and talk to Feng Ling who came to pick him up, and he fell into a complete coma.
"It has not been very good. The doctors in Switzerland don't have any good solutions. When dealing with paralyzed patients, they emphasize that nursing is more important than treatment. It is for this reason that Director Zhao said that Xiaoxun should return to China." Before reaching home, in the car on the way home, Butler Song chatted with Feng Ling. He wanted Feng Ling to understand Zhao Qingxun's physical condition, and it was not just as simple as being a little thinner.
Feng Ling nodded repeatedly, feeling mixed emotions as she looked at her brother who still needed oxygen in his sleep. She was happy that her brother could come home, but at the same time, she was worried about not being able to take good care of him. She didn't want him to suffer any more.
"My brother has lost a lot of weight, and it can be seen on his face."
"He can't eat. We basically prepare the same food we eat back home, but he still can't eat more than a few bites." Zhao Qingxun has been very picky about his food since birth. However, he has always had a weak spleen and stomach, and has never been fat. Now paralyzed and bedridden, he is getting thinner and thinner.
"Mom is not at home, so I'll leave it to Uncle Song." Having said that, Feng Ling secretly made up her mind that she would also take care of her brother and make him get better.
"It's my responsibility. I've already contacted the doctor. Don't worry, baby. Don't be afraid." Feng Ling hadn't even turned 21 yet, so Housekeeper Song definitely wouldn't entrust her with the responsibility of taking care of Zhao Qingxun and treating him.
The nurse carried Zhao Qingxun out of the car and into the house. Feng Ling followed him all the way. Zhao Qingxun was sensitive. He heard the sound of the wind chimes. At first, he felt too uncomfortable and it was difficult for him to open his eyes. Later, when he arrived at the bedroom, he knew what would happen next. Zhao Qingxun simply pretended to be stupid and closed his eyes, pretending to be unconscious.
After being paralyzed for so long, Zhao Qingxun would secretly look at his body every time in the bathroom, and also watch how the caregiver helped him clean his body. A body that could not move had no beauty. All the muscles gradually disappeared, leaving only sagging soft flesh, a bulging belly, and a thin layer of fat remaining on his arms and legs. It looked like everything except the body of an adult man.
What's more, in order to travel, the nurse put dark gray elastic stockings on his paralyzed legs whose muscles had atrophied to prevent blood clots. His immobile body was wrapped in diapers and connected to a catheter. There might even be a disgusting smell that would float out as his outer pants were unbuttoned. If he didn't play dead, what would he say when his deformed body was completely exposed in front of Feng Ling?
No one knew the struggle Zhao Qingxun was going through. Feng Ling saw his frail body being carried steadily into the bedroom. The nurse quickly unbuttoned his pants, gradually removed his diaper, cleaned and disinfected the area connected to the catheter, and carefully cared for the parts of his body that were out of control. It was clear that Zhao Qingxun's body had been severely deformed, skinny and bony, with swollen joints. After not seeing him for several months, his long, paralyzed legs seemed even thinner, not even as thick as the nurse's arms.
Only when they changed Zhao Qingxun's clothes and pants did the nurses let Feng Ling reach out. They knew what the young master was thinking, and naturally they would not let Feng Ling do overly private things such as cleaning the body and handling the catheter when they were around.
Taking advantage of the opportunity to pick the man up and take off his clothes, Feng Ling held up a small spoon to feed Zhao Qingxun water. Zhao Qingxun didn't open his mouth at all. Feng Ling called him brother several times before Zhao Qingxun trembled with pale lips and reluctantly swallowed a little bit of water.
Zhao Qingxun finally woke up when the night fell. Looking at the familiar ceiling light above his head, he realized that this was his home in Beijing.
"Brother, are you awake?"
Feng Ling held Zhao Qingxun's hand, and his slender, cold fingers responded, slowly closing and holding her hand.
"He... Huh... He... Huh..." Zhao Qingxun opened his eyes and faced the wind chimes, but was speechless for a moment. He was sick all over, his face was pale and blue, and he was breathing heavily. He opened his lips and gasped for a long time before he suppressed the surging breath.
Touching Zhao Qingxun's forehead, Feng Ling saw a layer of cold sweat. She didn't know if he was hot or not, so she could only continue to ask softly, "Brother, it's great that you're back. Do you feel a little hot?"
"Yeah." Zhao Qingxun didn't feel hot. In fact, his perception of cold and heat was very vague. He just had to respond to the wind chimes.
"Then I'll help you take off your shirt."
Without waiting for Zhao Qingxun to answer, Feng Ling lifted the head of the nursing bed. Fearing that he would feel dizzy, she did not dare to lift it too high. She reached out and took advantage of the raised angle to hold Zhao Qingxun in her arms, whispering, "I miss you." Zhao Qingxun was so happy that the girl in his heart was hugging him. Taking advantage of her hug, he also hugged Feng Ling lightly with his left hand. In the warm and fragrant room, the two of them naturally hugged each other tightly.
Touching Zhao Qingxun's bony back, the quiet hug lasted only a dozen seconds. Feng Ling didn't have time to take off Zhao Qingxun's coat before his body began to shake and tremble. By the time she realized that his back was twitching and in great pain, Zhao Qingxun subconsciously hugged Feng Ling even tighter with his arms and moaned softly.
“It hurts… ah… ah… it hurts…”
This time she didn't dare to let go. Feng Ling hugged his thin body tightly and massaged his back vigorously from time to time. After a long time, she could feel that his body was no longer twitching violently and his legs and feet were no longer kicking randomly. Only then did she dare to turn her head to look at him carefully.
Neither of them spoke anymore. Feng Ling heard Zhao Qingxun's disordered breathing echoing in her ears. He was breathing so hard.
"Nursing… Nurse."
Finally, she heard clearly that he was looking for a nurse. Feng Ling's heart softened as water, and she coaxed him in a sweet voice, "I'm here. Don't change your clothes yet. I'll help you check underneath."
Zhao Qingxun's ears immediately turned red after hearing these words. He was 27 years old, how could he bear Feng Ling asking him to look at his lower body? It was most likely that Feng Ling wanted to take care of him, but he couldn't accept it.
"No, no, no..." Zhao Qingxun loosened his arms and tried to push Feng Ling away, but Feng Ling held him firmly with one hand. The little girl did not let go, but freed her left hand, pulled the quilt, revealing the urine bag placed beside Zhao Qingxun. When she saw that it was almost full of urine, she hugged him with both hands again and carefully put him back on the nursing bed.
"Wait, let me empty the bag."
With her delicate hands, she skillfully closed the catheter valve, placed the catheter on the nursing pad, and went straight to the bathroom holding the urine bag.
"Baby," Zhao Qingxun said softly to Feng Ling, who was holding the urine bag like a treasure and slightly closed her eyes, "Don't do this, don't."
"Okay, I'll be there soon." After connecting the catheter and the urine bag, Feng Ling considerately covered the bag with the quilt as before, looking at Zhao Qingxun with a smile, observing his mood. "Do you feel any pain, back pain or leg pain? Take a shower and change clothes later. I'll massage your legs first."
Looking at her with burning eyes, Zhao Qingxun didn't smile, but the longing, concern and tender feelings in his eyes all flowed out. He sighed softly and didn't stop her anymore.
The calf that had been kicking due to a nerve twitch had long since calmed down.
Once slender and toned, his legs were now shrunken with contracted ligaments and swollen joints. He couldn't straighten them, so he either bent them up with cushions or slumped them at his sides like braces, devoid of any aesthetic appeal. Feng Ling held Zhao Qingxun's thin, paralyzed legs like precious objects, first helping to fix a half-slipped cotton sock, then resting them against his chest, kneading the loose, soft flesh.
Wherever Feng Ling's hand touched, it felt thin and soft. Due to long-term paralysis, the ankle and knee joints had completely lost their functions. As they were gently lifted, the feet with drooping toes would sway slightly, which made people feel soft at the sight. Apart from the abrupt existence, the joints had no strength at all, and they were like useless legs that could be bent at will and could not move at all.
"Does it hurt?"
Zhao Qingxun didn't feel anything when her deformed leg was held in his arms. But when he saw that his right leg was lifted up a few inches and a section of the winding transparent catheter was exposed, his bad mood reached a peak. With a light cough, Zhao Qingxun spoke to himself and sighed in a hoarse voice, "Actually, you don't have to keep trying to keep me. Mom never says anything, but everything she does is to keep me. Baby is also trying to keep me..." If he continued, he would probably choke up. Facing Feng Ling's worried gaze, Zhao Qingxun could not continue and silently ended the topic.
A sad mood enveloped the atmosphere between them. It was not until early June, Feng Ling's birthday, that Zhao Qingxun smiled and was willing to say a few more words.
Early in the morning, he got up early, and even got into his wheelchair to give flowers to Feng Ling.
At the breakfast table, Feng Ling happily kissed Zhao Qingxun's cold and handsome face before going out, and went to school with satisfaction.
When Fengling returned home in the afternoon, there were new floral arrangements and gifts placed in prominent positions in the hall and her bedroom. The color of the flowers gradually became darker, implying that their feelings were growing stronger and good luck was always with them.
After letting the nurse carry him to the wheelchair, Zhao Qingxun went to Feng Ling's room to look for her. "Mom said she's going to give you a birthday party. Don't you like it?"
A few days ago, Zhao Lanyin had asked Fengling for her opinion on a lively party, inviting a few close classmates and some new people from her company to celebrate Fengling's birthday together. Fengling declined, telling Director Zhao that she wanted to be with her brother and didn't like crowds.
Zhao Lanyin said that his brother is with you every day, and it is him who doesn’t play with us, so you should come out and have fun with everyone. As a result, Feng Ling still refused and said that she only wanted to celebrate her birthday with Zhao Qingxun.
Director Zhao was very surprised that Feng Ling was disobedient, so Zhao Qingxun asked this question.
"You're asking even though you already know the answer, brother. I don't need false friendship." Seeing the wheelchair coming, Feng Ling turned her gaze from the flowers to Zhao Qingxun's face. Seeing that he looked well, Feng Ling felt that this birthday was truly meaningful.
"Yeah, indeed, I'm that good." Zhao Qingxun laughed for once, and it was rare for him to make a joke about himself in recent days.
"Brother, I love you, can you never leave me?" Feng Ling's dialogue skills are getting better and better, and this emotional confession particularly touched someone's heart.
After a pause, Zhao Qingxun silently warned himself not to overthink it. He raised his head to meet her clear gaze and patiently replied, "Of course. Baby, you're so kind. I know you're a good child."
"Axun, I'm not a child anymore. I'm twenty-one years old. My mother gave birth to me when she was this age." She took a step forward, bent down and held his right hand that was resting on the armrest of the wheelchair.
What did she call him?
Zhao Qingxun was stunned. His heart was beating wildly and he was ecstatic. What was he expecting?
Taking a deep breath, Feng Ling continued, "Axun, I don't want to be your sister anymore. I want to be your lover. I love you, not the love a sister has for her brother, but the love a girl has for a boy. Can I be your girlfriend?"
His eyes gradually became confused, and Zhao Qingxun's mind suddenly became unclear. He did not answer but asked, "Baby, have you thought it through? Do you know what a man is? Will you regret what you said today?"
Squatting beside the wheelchair, Feng Ling changed her perspective and looked up at Zhao Qingxun. She spoke clearly and answered his question affirmatively, "I'm very mature. You don't know how many years I've been thinking about this. It should be since we met. I've been waiting for this moment today."
A trembling hand rested on her shoulder, gently brushing away a strand of her long hair. Zhao Qingxun was speechless, his chest was clearly rising and falling, and he was only gasping for breath.
"In my heart, Axun is not only a brother, but also the most important person to me who is out of my reach. He is the only boy I have liked in the past twenty-one years." The brave Feng Ling said her thoughts in one breath.
He couldn't walk, and couldn't even sit steadily outside the wheelchair. He couldn't even give her a strong hug. Zhao Qingxun's weak body couldn't bear the vast emotions like mountains and seas. His legs were shaking, and he was a little out of breath. He leaned on the support of his right ribs and barely sat still.
"Axun, Axun, don't be excited, don't be angry. I'll call someone to help you go back and lie down for a while." Feng Ling stood up and hugged Zhao Qingxun, whose hands and feet were shaking. She felt distressed and planned to give up the confession. She didn't want him to be so excited and uncomfortable.
Reaching his left hand into her arms and grabbing her clothes, Zhao Qingxun stopped her from leaving. "Wait, baby, I'm fine. I haven't confessed yet. You, don't leave."
The spirit returned to Fengling's eyes, and she looked at his beautiful lips in surprise, her eyes full of anticipation.
Seeing that she no longer wanted to leave and sat back on the floor, Zhao Qingxun relaxed his grip, moved his numb back, and sat more steadily. He solemnly said what was in his heart, "Baby, I like you. And, until a minute ago, I thought I would never have the chance to confess my love. After all, with a body like mine, I'm not qualified to say love... I'm content to be your brother."
The person she had been thinking about so much, the one who was as high and mighty as a god, actually had her in his heart. Feng Ling's pretty pink face showed a happy smile. Before she could say anything, Zhao Qingxun reached out and gently pressed his hand on her lips, continuing to express his inner feelings, "Now, I still don't think I am qualified to love you."
His right hand rested on his leg, and his fingers, which had been curled up quietly, had been trembling for a while. The white fingertips were beautiful even with the trembling, but the trembling became more and more severe, and his inward-turned wrist kept rubbing, and his loose pants were wrinkled.
He pressed his right hand, which was bent inward and deformed, with his left hand. After taking a few breaths, Zhao Qingxun adjusted his tone with a rolling Adam's apple. He continued to speak steadily, "Baby, I don't like you. I love you. I love you very much. I will love you for the rest of my life, but I dare not say a word of this love."
Hearing this, Feng Ling could no longer hold back. She used Zhao Qingxun's protruding knee for leverage, wrapped his right arm around her, and stood up to hug his weak body. She whispered sweetly in his ear, "Axun, I love you."
"Love you" is just two gentle words, but it seems like a downpour. A tear suddenly fell from Zhao Qingxun's eyes, and disappeared in Feng Ling's long hair.
They had hugged countless times before, but this time was different. Feng Ling was so nervous that her palms were sweating, and her heartbeat was getting more and more intense. She thought she could hear her own heartbeat. Zhao Qingxun's left hand was still functioning normally, but now he was trying to reach forward to hug Feng Ling. His thin, collapsed chest rose and fell, and he was panting with exhaustion. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, and holding her was very difficult.
She could feel that Zhao Qingxun's arms were trying hard to hold her tightly. Feng Ling saw that his beautiful lips were slightly open, and his eyes were slightly drooping, looking at nowhere. Unable to bear seeing him suffer, Feng Ling exerted force with her calves, bent down in a somewhat awkward position, and kissed Zhao Qingxun's lips.
It turns out that the lips of a loved one have a sweet minty flavor.
Zhao Qingxun, with his sharp, handsome, and cold face, appears to be a romantic on the surface, but in reality, he has never kissed a girl. On Feng Ling's birthday, Zhao Qingxun not only receives a confession of love he never imagined, but is also kissed by the girl he deeply loves.
Kissing between lovers is the most natural and happiest thing. The sweet little girl kissed Zhao Qingxun's lips. In a trance, he saw Fengling's plump forehead and long and curled eyelashes. Happiness turned into sweet and soft candy, which was stuffed directly into his mouth by Fengling's kiss, rippling in the clouds and mist.
Without any kissing skills, the proud and lonely Zhao Qingxun was a clumsy little boy who could only move his lips excitedly and try his best to cater to her, but his body did not actually move an inch; Feng Ling was also impulsive, her kiss was fierce and sudden, as if it had been planned for a long time. In fact, it was also Feng Ling's first time, but she fell in love with it after just one taste. Zhao Qingxun's lips were so kissable, with a cool, sweet and refreshing mint flavor.
Addicted to tossing and turning, lingering in the sorrow, Feng Ling only wished she could eat Zhao Qingxun in one go. Zhao Qingxun obediently closed his eyes and let her do whatever she wanted.
After a moment, Zhao Qingxun, who was as soft-hearted as water, remembered to breathe. His body trembled slightly, and he turned his head to avoid the high nose bones of the two people. He responded to her kiss, using tears as a catalyst for passion.
It was a long and charming kiss. Zhao Qingxun leaned his head and neck against the headrest of the wheelchair, his chest heaving. He almost drowned in the candy given by Feng Ling. He felt that the person who was getting closer and closer and whom he was reluctant to let go of was breathing in less and out more, and the strength of his lips sucking was getting weaker and weaker. Only then did Feng Ling reluctantly open her eyes and let go of Zhao Qingxun's watery lips that had been pecked.
"Axun, you promised that I would be your girlfriend, right?" The wheelchair stopped beside the sofa. Zhao Qingxun asked Feng Ling to sit properly, but she grabbed his curled up right hand and rubbed his trembling right hand carefully. His fingers were curled inward and too thin. Feng Ling rubbed them carefully bit by bit, for fear of breaking his fingers.
Zhao Qingxun nodded, his ears red, still not fully recovered from their first kiss. "Yeah, but, baby, it can't be made public."
"I can't tell my fans. Will it affect my career?"
"Half yes, and the other half is because of me." Stroking his loose pants with his left hand, Zhao Qingxun's slender white fingers slowly pressed his thigh, but he didn't feel anything. He had been paralyzed for too long and could never be an ordinary person again.
Feng Ling was so smart. She had always known that Zhao Qingxun was very concerned about being seen by outsiders. Regardless of whether they were fans or not, Zhao Qingxun was unwilling to see anyone with his paralyzed body, except for medical staff who had signed a confidentiality agreement. He lived a closed life. The once big star Zhao Qingxun disappeared suddenly, isolating himself from everyone's lives.
"Okay, I'll do as you say." The promise is just a few words, but it can be done, but it requires a lot of love to maintain.
On Fengling's birthday, the most meaningful gift she received was becoming Zhao Qingxun's girlfriend.
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The author has something to say: The next update will be on August 6th, thank you for waiting for me
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