(Past)
[“Love-broken Goethe hums here, I lost my heart in Heidelberg.”
"I am like Goethe who was heartbroken, but my heart is not lost in Heidelberg, but in the memories of the past."
—————————Preface
Everyone wants to live the way they want to live, the person they want to be. But how many people can really do it? Wen Sinian wants to go back to the origin of everything, to the summer when he met him, and say a belated "I like you."
[They met in the middle of summer and said goodbye in a hurry in the middle of summer.]
That day, Wen Sinian hugged the other person's gradually cold body tightly, knelt on the ground in a mess, and closed his eyes in pain.
"Si Nian...Si Nian..."
That last call tugged at his fragile heartstrings.
"Live well...keep living..."
The last words, the last of everything, and then, those beautiful eyes finally closed.
A love affair that had gone awry. Wen Sinian had planned to propose to Sheng Xiaohe once it was all over, and he had already bought the ring. He numbly grasped the cold hand and placed the sapphire ring on her ring finger.
Sheng Xiaohe fell at dusk, and his life was buried here with the fall of Wen Sinian.
He didn't know how long he maintained this posture, but he finally picked up the other person's cold body and walked forward with difficulty. For Wen Sinian, every step was like stepping on a knife edge, and blood was dripping.
The lost heartbeat, the missed happiness, vanished in an instant. Wen Sinian saved the whole world, but only lost him.
I don't know how many days and months, how many springs, summers, autumns and winters it took for everything to disappear. Returning to the original peace, the world without him is empty and cold. Day after day, I repeat the same thing, searching for hope that does not exist.
Hoping to turn back time and start all over again, he gently stroked Sheng Xiaohe's cold stone tablet.
[You said you like the sea, so I will take you to the place closest to the sea.]
Here, you can watch seagulls soar freely, watch the white clouds in the sky and let your thoughts fly; you can also enjoy the refreshing sea breeze and listen to the voice of the sea.
Wen Sinian will remember everything about the other person, every beautiful moment of their lives, and will carry the memories of you to every corner of the world, see different scenery, and look for his existence.
Time dividing line————————————
(Past Part 2)
[Repeating the same thing every day, following a routine that is no different from yesterday, if you can avoid intense joy, naturally there will be no great sadness.
————"No Longer Human"]
In the vast sea of people, Wen Sinian has been searching for him all the time. He has been searching for him for an unknown period of time, and his longing for him cannot be measured by time.
Wherever he went, Wen Sinian would return to the place where he first met Sheng Xiaohe, trying to find him. But what he found was disappointment again and again, and the complete destruction of hope.
Wen Sinian frantically tried to numb his brain with alcohol, asking himself why he was disappointed? Could he forget everything? He swallowed the liquor over and over again. Only in this way, only in this way, could he immerse himself in the decadent world of dreams.
He had thought about giving up, but he couldn't do it. Everything about the other party had completely seeped into his bones. He was deeply poisoned and his mind was full of the other party's figure.
Wen Sinian wished so much that the other person could look at him again, wished so much that the other person could smile at him again, wished so much that the other person could hug him again, and wished so much that there was someone to accompany him on this long journey.
Wen Sinian has traveled to many places. He watched the fiery maple leaves gradually covered with silver, watched the golden rice gradually harvested and stored in the warehouse, and watched a group of wild geese fly south and never return.
Wen Sinian only then realized that he had spent countless springs, summers, autumns and winters in a world without him.
If a person's life is too hard, God will bring good luck to him. He has successfully traveled through time and space again...
The other person's appearance had not changed much, still the same as in the depths of his memory, returning to his high school days in this timeline.
Wen Sinian really wanted to hug him tightly, cry, and then tell him that she had been doing what he said.
Instantly, immense joy filled his heart, and his frozen heart felt warm again. Wen Sinian was immersed in the joy of reunion, but he also imagined that this was just an illusion. He thought he had truly found everything, but it was only the beginning of losing everything.
Wen Sinian saw with his own eyes that Sheng Xiaohe had fallen into the arms of another man, and that the other man's place no longer belonged to him. The girl leaned shyly in Sheng Xiaohe's arms, and he spoke sweet words to her gently.
The silhouettes at dusk were warm and beautiful, but none of this belonged to Wen Sinian. He watched them walk away, then walked away from them alone. The gentleness of dusk no longer belonged to him, and at that moment he seemed to hear the sound of his heart breaking completely.
Wen Sinian was tired, truly tired. Countless time travels had made him lose his sense of self, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
His heart had become like rotten wood, devoid of warmth. He was lost in the memories of different times and spaces, and he could hardly even distinguish which part was the real Sheng Xiaohe.
I'm so tired, I just want to find a place to lean on and sleep forever. Wen Sinian, who has taken a lot of drugs, is physically empty and mentally excited. Only in this way, and only in this way, can he keep a clear mind.
He was at the beginning of the story, but he was not at the end. He was not the person in the story, nor was he the person in Wen Sinian's memory. Everything he thought was just what he thought, but in fact, I found that it was just my self-deception.
They did not have any relationship in this world, they were just superficial friends. It was he, a visitor from another world, who intruded into a time that did not belong to Sheng Xiaohe and met people who did not belong to him.
He knew this, Sheng Xiaohe loved that girl very much, she was very lucky. They would be happy together, but Sheng Xiaohe didn't know that in the original timeline, the origin of everything, Sheng Xiaohe and Wen Sinian were a couple.
He won't know, and Wen Sinian won't let him know, so as not to disturb their happiness. What you can't get is always the best, and what doesn't belong to him will never belong to him.
[To be honest, it's wonderful that there is a world where you exist and you can still live and continue your future.]
[Your life would be even more wonderful without me. Seeing you happy is enough for me.]
A letter disappeared in the wind...
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