Chapter 41 Luo Xin 5-Dark Hour
Luo Xin decided to send her daughter to daycare during the day, freeing up time to work and earn money. She had no choice but to make this decision. The over a thousand yuan Yu Hao had left her was quickly gone. She spent almost all of it on diapers and other baby supplies for her daughter. Her own diet was malfunctioning, and her breast milk supply was weak. She also had to spend a large portion on formula, a significant expense. Luo Xin looked at her daughter lying in the crib in the nursery, turning back several times before finally leaving reluctantly. A job posting, blurred by the rain, was posted on a utility pole. "Xingyue Hotel is hiring waiters, monthly salary 3,000 yuan." The "3,000 yuan" figure burned like a flame, making her heart ache. She knew the salary was ridiculously high, and there had to be something fishy going on, but she had no other choice. The hotel was tucked away deep in the city's suburbs, its facade adorned with pink lights and a sign on the window reading "Hourly Room 180, Overnight 380." The stout woman behind the bar, with her bright red nails, sized her up like she was evaluating a commodity. This gaze made her feel awful, like she was seven years old, being scrutinized by Chen Mei. "Can you put on makeup?" "...No." "Can you drink?" Luo Xin shook her head. The woman scoffed, puffing smoke rings onto the ground. "You don't know anything, and you expect three thousand?" She looked Luo Xin up and down, her gaze lingering on her chest. "But with your figure and looks, you're worth it." A chill ran down Luo Xin's spine. "I'll just be a waitress. Cleaning, serving tea and water, I'll do." "Sure," the woman said with a strange smile. "Give it a try. We'll see if you do well." Being a "waiter" meant serving tea and water to the men and women who came in and out, and even pretending not to notice the scattered condoms when cleaning the room. Luo Xin spent every day in nausea and fear, but she gritted her teeth. Three meals a day were provided, and the salary was paid weekly, which allowed her to buy formula for Luo Xue. Her colleagues, all young women, spoke with thick accents, and there was a certain inexplicable pity in their eyes when they looked at her. One night after work, a girl named Xiaolian slipped her a pack of cigarettes: "Sister, don't take it so seriously. It's not easy to make a living here." Luo Xin didn't take it, just shook her head. "Alas, it's not easy for us either. If there was a way out, who the hell would want to come to such a disgusting place?" Another girl named Xiaofang took a deep drag on her cigarette and blew out a few smoke rings. Luo Xin's mind was elsewhere. She was only...
Luo Xin decided to send her daughter to daycare during the day so that she could have time to work and earn money.
He had to make such a decision because the more than 1,000 yuan that Yu Hao left him was soon spent.
She spent almost all her money on buying diapers and other baby products for her daughter. She couldn't even guarantee her own nutritional needs, and her breast milk was not good. She had to spend a large portion of her money on milk powder, which was also a huge expense.
Luo Xin looked at his daughter lying in the crib in the nursery, looked back several times, and finally left reluctantly.
A job posting, blurred by rain, was posted on a utility pole. "Xingyue Hotel is hiring waiters, monthly salary 3,000 yuan."
The string of numbers, "3,000 yuan," burned like a fire, making her heart tremble. She knew the salary was ridiculously high and there must be something fishy going on, but she had no choice.
The hotel is hidden deep in the suburbs, with a pink light hanging on the door and a sign on the glass that says "Hourly room 180, overnight 380".
The plump woman behind the bar, with bright red nail polish, looked at her as if she were evaluating a commodity.
This kind of gaze made her very uncomfortable, as if she was back to the feeling when she was seven years old and was being stared at by Chen Mei.
"Can you put on makeup?"
"…… Won't."
"Can you drink?"
Luo Xin shook his head.
The woman scoffed and blew a smoke ring onto the ground. "You don't know anything and you want to take three thousand?"
She looked Luo Xin up and down, her eyes lingering on her chest for a moment. "But considering your figure and appearance, you're worth the price."
Luo Xin felt a chill run down his spine. "I'm just a waiter. I can do cleaning and serving tea and water."
"Okay." The woman smiled strangely. "Try it first. We'll tell you if you do well."
The so-called "waiters" actually serve tea and water to the men and women coming in and out, and when cleaning the room they have to pretend not to see the condoms scattered on the floor.
Luo Xin spent every day in nausea and fear, but she gritted her teeth. Here, three meals a day were provided, and the salary was paid weekly, which allowed her to buy milk powder for Luo Xue.
Her colleagues were all young girls who spoke with thick accents, and there was always an indescribable pity in their eyes when they looked at her.
One night after work, a girl named Xiaolian secretly slipped her a pack of cigarettes and said, "Sister, don't take it too seriously. It's not easy to make a living here."
Luo Xin didn't answer, just shook his head.
"Alas, it's not easy for us either. If there was a way out, who the hell would be willing to come to such a disgusting place." Another girl named Xiaofang took a deep puff of her cigarette and blew out a few smoke rings.
Luo Xin's mind was not here. She was only thinking about her daughter. She felt that as long as she kept her bottom line, she would not be completely depraved.
Until that rainy night, everything changed.
The customer was a middle-aged man with a big belly and a strong smell of alcohol. He threw a wad of money on the table as soon as he entered. "Have a few drinks with me, and this money is all yours."
Luo Xin tried to leave, but he grabbed her wrist. The man was incredibly strong, pinching her arm painfully. "The boss said that all the waiters here can serve drinks."
"I'm not..."
"Why are you pretending to be innocent?" The man's hands began to touch her body in an unruly manner, and the smell of alcohol sprayed on her face. "You just want money, right? I have plenty of it!"
Luo Xin struggled desperately, but like a butterfly caught in a spider web, she couldn't escape. Her head was pressed against the wall, making a buzzing sound, and tears fell uncontrollably.
The dress and underwear were roughly torn off at the same time. The man behind her controlled her hands from behind and forcefully clamped her legs apart. His fat body pressed tightly against hers and began to hit her body, while his mouth was full of dirty words.
In a trance, she seemed to see a lot, many ugly faces, Xiao Yan's mother's contemptuous eyes, the restaurant owner's impatient eyes, Chen Mei's expression of disgust as if she was looking at a commodity...
It turns out that from the beginning to the end, she was just dust that could be trampled on at will in the eyes of others.
After an unknown amount of time, the man trembled and finally let go of Luo Xin's hand, then pulled up his pants and left with satisfaction.
Luo Xin curled up on the ground, shaking all over, as if he had just been pulled out of ice water.
When the woman behind the bar came in, she was still in that posture, her eyes as empty as a well.
"Here." The woman threw the wad of money in front of her. "This kind of thing is very common. Just figure it out."
Luo Xin looked at the pile of red banknotes and suddenly laughed, tears streaming down his face.
How much is dignity worth? Can it buy a full meal for my daughter?
She picked up the money on the ground, counted it one by one, then calmly put on her torn clothes and stuffed the money into her underwear.
It was close to her heart and it burned her skin.
From that day on, Luo Xin became a real "waiter" at the "Star Moon Hotel".
She learned how to put on makeup, how to force a smile, and how to pretend not to care when customers took advantage of her.
She also has a small butterfly tattoo on her ankle, like Xiaolian and Xiaofang, which is the symbol of the waitress in the store.
Every time after serving a customer, she would wash in the bathroom for a long time, using up half a bottle of shower gel, but she always felt that she could not wash off the smell on her body.
She bought the best milk powder for Luo Xue, changed to a nursery with better conditions, and was even able to buy a piece of meat as complementary food for her daughter.
Seeing her daughter getting fatter day by day, giggling and calling "Mom", Luo Xin felt that all the humiliation and pain seemed worth it.
Xiaolian said she was stupid: "This money comes quickly and goes quickly. It's better to save some money while you are young and see if you can become a lover for a customer. That's the way out."
Luo Xin just smiled. She knew she couldn't go on like this. This was a dark river, and if she stayed here for too long she would be completely swallowed up.
"What do you want to do in the future?" Luo Xin asked.
"As for me, I don't know, but I guess I can only do this job in my life. I can just close my eyes, spread my legs, and love whoever I want." Xiaolian shook her head, looking indifferent.
"What about you? Afang." Luo Xin turned around and asked Xiaofang who was looking out the window.
The three of them lived in the same dormitory and often stayed in the dormitory to chat when there were no guests.
"Me?" Xiaofang said expressionlessly, "Who knows? But I want to learn a skill. I think being a barber is not bad." "Yeah, I also think that you should learn a skill. It's the foundation of your life." Luo Xin nodded in agreement.
Those days were the darkest moments in her life. She was a gentle mother, but also a puppet at the mercy of others.
She often woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming that she had fallen into a bottomless black hole, and no one responded no matter how she shouted.
Only when she touched the stack of banknotes with body temperature under the bed did she feel a little relieved - that was the boat ticket for her and Luo Xue to escape from here.
Yu Hao would occasionally send her things, and she often felt guilty, especially when Yu Hao saw her during the holidays. She didn't know how to face this simple and enthusiastic young criminal police.
A year later, when the money he had saved under the bed reached 50,000 yuan, Luo Xin resigned without hesitation.
The sunlight was dazzling, but she felt like she had been reborn.
She used the money she saved to rent a decent house in Nan'an Village and enrolled in a night singing class.
When she was a child, her parents enrolled her in singing classes. The teacher said her voice was like a nightingale and she was suitable for singing.
Unexpectedly, this evaluation that had been forgotten for many years became her new way out.
When she first started singing in bars, she was always nervous, her voice trembling, and she didn't dare look at the people in the audience. Once, in the middle of a song, a drunk man suddenly shouted, "Take off one!"
Luo Xin's face turned pale instantly, and his hands holding the microphone were shaking. At this moment, someone in the corner shouted: "Good singing! Ignore him!"
She looked up and saw only a blurry figure, but she felt inexplicably at ease.
That night, she sang the entire song, and although the applause was sparse, it helped her regain some courage.
Later, she changed to a regular KTV and worked as a waitress, occasionally singing in the evening. The salary was not high, but it was clean and enough for her and Luo Xue to live on.
She learned how to use makeup to hide the fatigue under her eyes, how to smile at customers, and how to pretend not to hear dirty jokes.
The days passed by uneventfully, and before long it was time for Luo Xue to go to primary school.
That day, Luo Xin specially combed a beautiful ponytail for her daughter, and when she sent her to the school gate, she saw Yu Hao.
He was wearing a police uniform, standing tall and straight, and was greeting the teacher with a smile. The sunlight shone on the police badge on his shoulder, making it blinding.
Everyone who passed by him couldn't help but look at him with envy and respect, and she looked at him the same way.
The moment their eyes met, Luo Xin suddenly panicked and subconsciously wanted to hide.
"What's wrong? I agreed to send Luo Xue to school together." Yu Hao smiled, his smile still sunny and warm. The police uniform on his body made him look like the embodiment of justice.
The reason why Yu Hao wore a police uniform that day was because Luo Xue said she wanted to see what Uncle Yu looked like in a police uniform. She hoped that Uncle Yu would wear a police uniform to take her to school because her dream was to become a policeman when she grew up so that she could protect her mother.
"Uncle Yu, you look so handsome and good-looking in this police uniform." After seeing Yu Hao, Luo Xue rushed to his side.
Yu Hao bent down, touched her little head, and said with a smile, "Then you have to study hard to realize your dream of becoming a police officer."
"I definitely will." Little Luo Xue clenched her little fists.
Luo Xin had never seen Yu Hao in a police uniform in all these years, and she couldn't help but feel lost and a little frightened. It was as if the uniform could pierce through her past, revealing those shameful experiences.
"What's wrong?" Yu Hao noticed her expression.
"Oh, it's okay. It's just the first time I see you wearing alarm clothes. You look quite handsome. That's great." Luo Xin's eyes lit up.
"Haha, let's go. Let's send Xiaoxue in together. Today is a very important day in her life." Yu Hao held Xiaoxue's hand and walked in front of her. He was tall and walked straight.
Walking with Yu Hao's back, Luo Xin suddenly felt that there were some secrets that she really had to keep for the rest of her life.
She couldn't let him know that the boy who once said he would protect her was now guarding a world that hid her dirtiest secrets.
She couldn't let him know that her soul had long been soaked in the mud of the dark river and could never be washed clean.
The lights in the KTV flickered. Luo Xin straightened his uniform, took a deep breath, and pushed open the door of the box.
The smile on her face was like an exquisite mask, but only she knew what a dilapidated ruin lay beneath the mask.
And this is her life.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
