Chapter 46 I Care
The warm light from the milk tea shop cast a layer of white mist on the glass, turning the snowy night outside into a blurry yellow. Luo Xin sat by the window, her fingertips tracing circles on the warm wall of the cup. The words "Nan'an Pearl Milk Tea" on the cup were blurred by the moisture. When Yu Hao pushed open the door, the sound of wind chimes startled her and made her look up. The red in her eyes had not yet faded, as if she had been crying, but the corners of her mouth were trying to smile: "Are you here?" Yu Hao was stunned when he saw her face, and sat down opposite her. There were two cups of milk tea on the table, with smiley faces printed on the sealing film. One cup already had a straw inserted, and the other was untouched. "Have you been here for a long time?" Yu Hao's voice was a little tense, and his fingers curled up on his knees. The opening remarks that he had rehearsed countless times in his mind before coming here were now stuck in his throat. Luo Xin shook her head and pushed the untouched cup toward him. "It just arrived, too." The moment the straw pierced the seal, a sweet aroma wafted out, reminiscent of the taste of their first milk tea at a stall in Nan'an Village twelve summers ago. Yu Hao took a sip, the pearls rolling across his tongue, sweet yet slightly bitter. "What's up, calling me so late?" Luo Xin spoke first, her tone as casual as if asking, "Have you eaten?" "Just... chatting." Yu Hao's gaze drifted out the window. He could feel Luo Xin watching him, her gaze tentative, knowing, and a subtle hint of panic. Luo Xin smiled, her fingertips tapping the rim of the cup. "After all these years, I still don't understand you?" She paused, looking up at him, her eyes gleaming in the warm light. "Did Sun Wei tell you?" Yu Hao's grip on the milk tea cup tightened suddenly. He hadn't expected her to be so direct, like suddenly pulling away the gauze covering a wound, leaving him no time to dodge. "Yeah." He replied softly. Luo Xin sighed deeply, her voice filled with so many complex emotions—relief, exhaustion, and a certain inexplicable sense of liberation. She turned her head to look out the window. The moisture on the glass became even thicker with her breath, and the street lights outside became a blurry halo. A tear suddenly slipped from the corner of her eye, hitting the milk tea cup, splashing a small drop of water. Yu Hao stood up suddenly, and the chair legs made a harsh sound on the ground, but Luo Xin raised her hand to hold it down. "I'm fine." Her voice was soft, with a tearful tone, but it was extremely firm. "Really." Yu Hao handed her a tissue, and his fingertips touched the back of her hand, which was as hot as fire. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice trembled. What he had seen at the Xingyue Hotel...
The warm lights from the milk tea shop cast a layer of white mist on the glass, turning the snowy night outside the window into a blurry yellow.
Luo Xin sat by the window, his fingertips circling the warm wall of the cup. The four words "Nan'an Pearl Milk Tea" on the cup were blurred by the water vapor.
When Yu Hao pushed open the door, the sound of the wind chimes startled her and she looked up. The red in her eyes hadn't faded yet, as if she had been crying, but she was trying hard to raise her lips: "Are you here?"
When Yu Hao saw her face, he was stunned and sat down opposite her.
There were two cups of milk tea on the table, with smiley faces printed on the sealing film. One cup had a straw inserted, and the other was untouched.
"Have you been here long?" Yu Hao's voice tightened, his fingers curled in his knees. The opening line he'd rehearsed countless times before arriving was now stuck in his throat.
Luo Xin shook his head and pushed the untouched cup in front of him: "It just arrived too."
The moment the straw pierced the sealing film, a sweet aroma wafted out, just like the taste of the milk tea they first drank at a stall in Nan'an Village that summer twelve years ago.
Yu Hao took a sip, and the pearls rolled across the tip of his tongue, so sweet that it was a little bitter.
"Why are you looking for me so late? Is there something wrong?" Luo Xin spoke first, his tone as relaxed as if he was asking "Have you eaten?"
"Just... chatting." Yu Hao's gaze drifted out the window. He could feel Luo Xin looking at him, her gaze testing, knowing, and a subtle hint of panic.
Luo Xin smiled, tapping her fingertips on the rim of the cup. "After all these years, I still don't understand you?" She paused, looked up at him, the light in her eyes flickering under the warm light, "Did Sun Wei tell you?"
Yu Hao's grip on the milk tea cup suddenly tightened. He hadn't expected her to be so direct, like suddenly ripping the gauze covering a wound, leaving him no time to dodge. "Yeah." He murmured.
Luo Xin sighed deeply, and that voice contained too many complicated emotions - relief, fatigue, and some kind of inexplicable sense of liberation.
She turned her head to look out the window. The moisture on the glass became thicker due to her breath, and the street lights outside turned into a blurry halo.
A tear suddenly slipped from the corner of her eye, hitting the milk tea cup, splashing tiny water droplets.
Yu Hao stood up suddenly, and the chair legs made a harsh sound on the ground, but Luo Xin raised his hand to hold him down.
"I'm fine." Her voice was soft, tearful, yet remarkably firm. "Really."
Yu Hao handed her a tissue, and when his fingertips touched the back of her hand, it burned like fire. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice trembled. The images he had seen at the Xingyue Hotel suddenly flooded back, piercing his heart like needles. It was a deep pain.
Luo Xin wiped away her tears. "If it weren't for you," she looked into his eyes and said word by word, "I would never tell anyone about these things."
"Those scars will never heal." Luo Xin looked directly into his eyes, "Just like that tattoo, it will always be there."
Her fingers unconsciously touched her ankle. Even through her pants, Yu Hao knew what she was touching - the blue butterfly tattoo, the logo of the Star Moon Hotel.
The music in the milk tea shop suddenly switched to a melancholic piano piece, the melody was like a plaintive lament. The waiter behind the counter had disappeared, and the only people left in the shop were the two of them, and the room was filled with silence.
"I'm sorry." His voice was hoarse.
"What nonsense are you talking about." Luo Xin smiled, tears still in the corners of her eyes, "This is the bond between you and me." She raised her eyes and glanced around the store. The two of them were wrapped in warm light and the sweet fragrance of milk tea, like a corner temporarily forgotten by the world.
"It's my luck to meet you." Luo Xin's voice was soft, but it fell clearly into his ears, "Really."
She talked about how he secretly stuffed meat buns into her mouth when they first met; how he rushed back from school and frantically picked up Luo Xue when she was born; how he first appeared in front of her in his police uniform. She recalled many things...
Yu Hao listened quietly, and he had a picture of everything Luo Xin said.
"These past ten years have been the happiest days of my life." Her tears fell again, hitting the table and leaving a small wet mark. "I cherish them, I really do."
Yu Hao's heart felt like it was being gripped by something, the pain making him breathless. He wanted to say "Me too", wanted to say "We can start over", but Luo Xin raised her hand to stop him.
"But I can't go on with you." Her voice was choked with sobs, but she was very firm. "I'm not the person in your life."
"I don't care about your past!" Yu Hao suddenly raised his voice, and the echo in the store scared him. "That's not important!"
"I care!" Luo Xin's voice also became excited, and her eyes were red as if they were about to bleed. "I care about your image, your future, and how you look in the eyes of others! Yu Hao, I can't be so selfish. I can't let you be stabbed in the back because of me!"
"Luo Xin..." His voice choked.
"Let me finish." Luo Xin took a deep breath. "You know what? Every time I see you in your police uniform, I feel both proud and scared. Proud because you're so honest and brave, and scared because... I'm not worthy of you."
Yu Hao wanted to walk over and hug her, but his feet felt as heavy as lead. He could feel an invisible wall between them, not because of the past, but because of Luo Xin's cautious love.
"Over the years, I've often wondered, if I could be a little cleaner..." Luo Xin's voice trailed off, as if he was talking to himself, "If I hadn't been to that hotel, without all that dirty past, would I have been able to stand by your side openly and honestly?"
Yu Hao couldn't hold back his tears. He understood that Luo Xin wasn't rejecting him, but the tainted self she had been. The barrier in her heart was higher than anyone else's.
"Luo Xin..." He wanted to say something, but he didn't say it.
Luo Xin raised her head and looked at him with tearful eyes, but she tried to raise the corners of her mouth: "It's okay now that we've talked it out, right?"
Yu Hao nodded, his throat clogged with cotton, and he could only let the tears fall. He knew Luo Xin was right. These words had to be spoken, otherwise they would be like a poisonous sting, forever piercing their relationship.
But he didn't expect that the price of speaking up would be to admit that they could never get close to each other again.
Luo Xin's voice suddenly became firm. "You deserve someone better, like Sun Wei. She is as upright and brave as you. You two are from the same world."
Hearing Sun Wei's name, Yu Hao was stunned, "Sun Wei and I..." he subconsciously defended himself.
Luo Xin waved her hand and smiled. That smile carried a sense of relief that Yu Hao couldn't understand. "She loves you, very much. I can see it."
"What about you?" Yu Hao raised his head and asked the question that had been hidden in his heart for many years, "Have you ever loved me?"
Time seemed to stand still at this moment. Luo Xin's eyes widened slightly, tears welling up in her eyes but not falling.
Her lips trembled slightly, as if she wanted to say something, but also as if she was trying not to cry.
"Of course I love you." Her voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible. "It's just..."
"That's enough." Yu Hao raised his head, but a tear still rolled down his cheeks.
Luo Xin suddenly reached out and gently placed her hand on the back of his. Her fingers were cold, but Yu Hao felt a burning sensation.
"You are the most important person in my life, just like Luo Xue." Her eyes were filled with tears, "always. It's just... some distance has existed from the beginning. Over the years, I thought I could cross it, but then I found that the longer the time, the more difficult it is to cross these distances. I'm sorry." She lowered her head.
Yu Hao placed his other hand on hers and held it tightly.
The clock in the milk tea shop struck ten. The waiter poked his head out from the kitchen, glanced at them, and then shrank back.
Yu Hao knew that from now on, the relationship between him and Luo Xin was like this cup of milk tea. After drinking it, it was time to let it go.
But the process of letting go is bound to be very painful.
What hurts even more is that he wants to rub salt into her wounds. The two cases that are entangled in his mind can never get around Luo Xin.
In addition to the relationship between them, there are also two murders between them.
"Luo Xin..." His voice trembled. "Do the deaths of Wang Shun and Guo Zhong have anything to do with you?"
This question was like a sharp sword, splitting the warm illusion of the milk tea shop.
This is Yu Hao. He must say this tonight. He wants to hear Luo Xin's answer in person, even if his heart is pierced by pain. How can he be less painful than Luo Xin?
Luo Xin's hand trembled violently and she quickly pulled it back. Her eyes flickered for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure.
"Why do you ask?" Her voice was very soft.
Yu Hao took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I'm a police officer." There was pain in his voice. "This is my duty."
"I understand." She stood up, her voice eerily calm. "So, Officer Yu, are you here to arrest me?"
Yu Hao's heart was pounding. He had never thought that one day he would talk to Luo Xin in this capacity. He looked up at her stubborn profile.
"I'm sorry, I just want to know the truth." He said with difficulty.
Luo Xin picked up her coat, her movements slow and firm. "The truth is, I didn't kill anyone." Her voice was soft, but every word was clear. "But I did see Wang Shun, on the night he died."
This confession shocked Yu Hao: "Why?"
"Because he threatened me." A trace of hatred flashed in Luo Xin's eyes. "He said he knew my past and would tell everyone, including Xiaoxue's school."
"So..., the woman who appeared that night was you, right?" Yu Hao felt a pang of pain in his heart, as if he was about to be crushed by an invisible hand.
"It's me." Luo Xin turned her face to the side, and tears as big as beans flowed down again.
"Why didn't you tell me, why?" Yu Hao almost lost control, his eyes full of bloodshot.
"Because you can't be here all the time, but these people can threaten Xiaoxue and me all the time. I just want Xiaoxue to live in peace. I'm already dirty, and I'm not afraid of falling into it again." Luo Xin said stubbornly, his eyes always looking out the window.
Yu Hao's heart was in turmoil, but he suppressed his remorse and anger and asked with the rationality of a criminal police officer, "Were you wearing a wig that day?"
"Yes." Luo Xin didn't avoid it at all.
"What did you take with you when you left?"
"I didn't take anything with me. I just wanted to leave quickly." Luo Xin looked at Yu Hao with red eyes. "Do you believe me when I say this, Officer Yu?"
Yu Hao looked at this strong woman and nodded, "I understand."
"Whether it's Wang Shun or Guo Zhong you mentioned, I don't know why they were killed. Although they deserved to die, I didn't kill them. I don't want to kill anyone. I just want to protect my daughter, Officer Yu."
"Luo Xin, please don't call me that, okay?" Yu Hao said with a pleading look on his face.
"Not only are we from different worlds, but we even have opposing positions. So, Yu Hao, face reality." Luo Xin forced a smile and continued, "That's all I know about the case."
"I'm sorry, forgive me, I just..."
"I understand. You don't need to explain to me. You're a good police officer." Luo Xin stood up. "Yu Hao." Her voice was as gentle as before. "No matter what happens, meeting you is the luckiest thing in my life."
She turned and walked towards the door, her back thin but straight. When the bell rang again, Yu Hao stood up as if waking from a dream.
"Loxin!" he shouted.
She stopped at the door but didn't look back.
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