Chapter 66 Do You Understand Real Pain?
At the end of the alley, the neon sign at the "Old Place" pub flickered, making Yu Hao's reddened eyes even more blurry. Ten empty bottles lay on the table before him, and the air was thick with the scent of alcohol and tobacco. "Yu Hao, stop drinking," Sun Wei snatched the glass from his hand. "You're torturing yourself like this. There's no point." Yu Hao snatched the glass and refilled it, spilling the wine onto his shirt, leaving a dark stain. "Useless?" He laughed, a laugh tinged with tears. "I'm the team leader, and I can't even see through a twelve-year-old. What use am I?" He tilted his head back and took a long gulp of wine. The acrid liquid burned his throat, but it couldn't quell the dull ache in his chest. Sun Lei's childish face kept flashing before his eyes, along with Sun Yong's calm eyes in the interrogation room, Luo Xin's forced smile... It all felt like a net, trapping him, a net that tightened with every struggle. "This isn't your fault." Sun Wei's voice softened. She took Yu Hao's hand; his fingers were cold and trembling slightly. "Do we really have to send Sun Lei to a juvenile detention center? His father risked his own life to buy his freedom, but..." He didn't finish his sentence before downing the beer in his glass. "You just did what you had to do," Sun Wei soothed. "What should be done?" Yu Hao stood up suddenly, the chair legs scraping against the floor. "Sending a child to juvenile detention and a father to prison—is this what should be done?" He pointed to his chest. "It hurts here... Sun Wei, it hurts so much." The surrounding drinkers looked askance. Sun Wei, eyes red, tugged him to his feet. "Go home, tell us what's going on." Yu Hao leaned against her like a pile of mud, his steps unsteady, mumbling, "I've been a police officer for ten years, I've caught so many bad guys, but now I realize... I can't tell who's good from who's bad... Wang Shun and Guo Zhong are just beasts." By the time Sun Wei shoved Yu Hao into the passenger seat, he was unconscious, his head tilted against the seatback, his brow furrowed, as if he were having a nightmare. Sun Wei looked at the stubble on his chin and the dark circles under his eyes, and something tugged at her heart. She had known Yu Hao for so many years, from academy classmates to colleagues, but she had never seen him like this. The police car was parked downstairs, and Sun Wei had to drag Yu Hao upstairs with great effort. Throwing him on the sofa, Sun Wei was about to pour a glass of water when Yu Hao suddenly groaned, and tears suddenly burst out without warning, streaming down his cheeks. "Why... why is it like this...
In the "Old Place" pub at the end of the alley, the neon sign flickered, making Yu Hao's red eyes even more blurry.
There were ten empty bottles on the table in front of him, and the air was filled with the strong smell of alcohol and tobacco.
"Yu Hao, stop drinking." Sun Wei snatched the wine glass from his hand. "It's useless to torture yourself like this."
Yu Hao snatched the glass and refilled it, spilling the wine onto his shirt, leaving a dark stain. "Useless?" He laughed, a laugh tinged with tears. "I'm the captain, and if I can't even see through a twelve-year-old, what use am I?"
He tilted his head back and took a big gulp of wine. The spicy liquid burned his throat, but it couldn't suppress the dull pain in his chest.
Sun Lei's childish face kept flashing before his eyes, as well as Sun Yong's calm eyes in the interrogation room, Luo Xin's forced smile... All of this was like a net, trapping him in the middle, and the more he struggled, the tighter it became.
"It's not your fault." Sun Wei's voice softened. She held Yu Hao's hand. His fingers were cold and still trembling slightly.
"Do we really have to send Sun Lei to a juvenile detention center? His father wanted to exchange his own life for his freedom, but..." Before he finished his words, he drank the beer in the glass.
"You just did what you should do." Sun Wei comforted.
"It's what we should do?" Yu Hao stood up suddenly, the chair legs scraping against the floor. "Sending a child to a juvenile detention center and a father to prison—is that what we should do?" He pointed at his chest. "It hurts here... Sun Wei, it hurts so much."
The surrounding drinkers all looked at him sideways. Sun Wei, with red eyes, pulled him up forcefully: "Go home, if you have anything to say, go home and tell us."
Yu Hao leaned against her like a pile of mud, his steps unsteady, and he kept muttering, "I've been a police officer for ten years and caught so many bad guys, but now I realize... I can't tell who's good and who's bad... Wang Shun and Guo Zhong are just beasts."
When Sun Wei stuffed Yu Hao into the passenger seat, he was already unconscious, his head tilted on the backrest, but his brows were still tightly furrowed, as if he was having a nightmare.
Sun Wei looked at the stubble on his chin and the dark circles under his eyes, and felt something tug at her heart. She had known Yu Hao for so many years, from classmates at the police academy to colleagues, but she had never seen him like this.
The police car was parked downstairs, and Sun Wei had to work very hard to drag Yu Hao upstairs.
Throwing him on the sofa, Sun Wei was just about to pour a glass of water when Yu Hao suddenly groaned and tears came out without warning, streaming down his cheeks.
"Why... why is this happening..." He muttered to himself, his voice breaking. "I want to protect them... I want Nan'an Village to be well..."
Sun Wei squatted in front of him and handed him a tissue, feeling a pang of sadness. She knew Yu Hao's weakness. Nan'an Village was his roots, and the people here were his family.
The Wang Shun case and the Guo Zhong case were like two knives, which not only broke the tranquility of Nan'an Village, but also broke the softest part of Yu Hao's heart.
"Yu Hao, this is not your fault." She said it over and over again, but Yu Hao seemed not to hear her, and just kept repeating "It hurts so much".
In desperation, Sun Wei took out her phone and, after hesitating for a long time, finally called Luo Xin. "Can you come over? Yu Hao... is drunk and in a bad mood."
Luo Xin arrived with a thermos in her hand. When she opened the door and saw Yu Hao curled up on the sofa, her eyes suddenly reddened. It had only been a few days since she last saw him, and he'd lost so much weight, his cheekbones protruding, and his shirt was wrinkled, as if he'd been fished out of the mud.
"Let me do it." Luo Xin put the thermos on the coffee table and said softly to Sun Wei.
Sun Wei nodded and quietly retreated. The moment the door closed, she heard Luo Xin sigh, a sigh that contained both heartache and helplessness.
Luo Xin squatted in front of the sofa and reached out to wipe the tears from Yu Hao's face. As soon as her fingers touched his skin, Yu Hao suddenly opened his eyes. His eyes were blurry, as if he didn't recognize her, but he murmured, "Luo Xin... I'm sorry..."
"I know, I know everything." Luo Xin's voice was very soft, with a calmness that came from a lifetime of experience. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Yu Hao suddenly sat up and grabbed her wrist with frightening strength: "Sun Yong is so protective of him..."
Luo Xin let him hold her, and patted his back gently with his other hand, like comforting a wounded child.
Yu Hao let go of his hand and leaned dejectedly on the sofa, tears welling up in his eyes again. "I have guarded Nan'an Village for so many years, watching it become like this. What is the meaning of me as a policeman, as a captain?"
He looked at Luo Xin blankly like a lost child, the pain in his eyes almost overflowing: "I don't want to hurt them... I really don't want to... They could have been fine..."
Luo Xin couldn't hold it in any longer and reached out to hug him. Yu Hao's body stiffened, and then he leaned on her shoulder like a child, and the suppressed cry finally broke out, shaking her shoulder slightly numb.
"I know, I know everything." Luo Xin patted his back, tears streaming down her face, "It hurts so much... I understand..."
Two people who were burdened with so much pain finally took off all their disguises on this quiet night and let their tears wash over their exhausted hearts.
The moonlight outside the window shone through the gaps in the curtains, casting a thin band of light on the floor, like an insurmountable chasm.
After an unknown amount of time, Yu Hao's sobs gradually subsided. Luo Xin was about to pour him a glass of warm water when the door suddenly opened. Qin Guoan stood at the door, dressed in a neat police uniform, his face as serious as iron.
Luo Xin quickly stood up, wiped the tears from her face, and stepped aside.
Qin Guoan's eyes fell on Yu Hao, who was lying on the sofa. His brows knitted into knots. He walked to the center of the living room and shouted sharply, "Yu Hao! Stand at attention!"
Yu Hao felt like he was pricked by a needle and jumped up reflexively, standing upright. Although his eyes were still a little confused, he already looked like a policeman.
"Why are you crying?" Qin Guoan's voice was like thunder. "What a shame! You're now the captain of the Second Criminal Police Brigade of the Qindao City Public Security Bureau, not a snotty kid!"
Yu Hao lowered his head, his lips trembling, wanting to say something but unable to.
"Is the case difficult? Are you feeling bad?" Qin Guoan walked up to him, his eyes sharp as a knife. "I've been a police officer for thirty years, and I've handled countless cases more difficult than this! Which one didn't I grit my teeth and handle? Are you the only one feeling wronged? Are you the only one feeling heartbroken?"
Yu Hao lowered his head even lower, his fingers tightly clenching the corner of his clothes.
Qin Guoan's tone softened, but still carried an undeniable force: "Haven't you always wanted to hear Uncle Zhang's story? Today I'll tell you what a real police officer is."
He pulled a chair over and sat down, poured himself a glass of water, and looked out the window, as if he had returned to many years ago.
"Lao Zhang's real name is Zhang Lei. He and I went to the police academy together, and we even shared bunk beds together." Qin Guoan's voice deepened, carrying a sense of distant vicissitudes. "We graduated together and were assigned to the Municipal Bureau together. He was more promising than me, joining the Narcotics Squad within a year."
Luo Xin handed Yu Hao a cup of warm water. Yu Hao took it, but didn't drink it. He just held it tightly in his hand. Sun Wei was also standing to the side, listening to the master telling the story of Uncle Zhang.
"In the second year after joining the anti-drug team, his wife gave birth to a daughter, now Zhang Li." Qin Guoan's lips curled up into a faint smile, then fell again. "On the day the child was one month old, the team received a mission to capture a cross-border drug trafficking gang. The main culprit was very cunning, and we let him escape several times."
He paused, his fingers tapping unconsciously on the table. "They pushed the drug traffickers to the border. At the last moment, Lao Zhang discovered that the main culprit was actually his father-in-law."
Yu Hao suddenly raised his head, his eyes full of shock.
"Yeah, no one expected that." Qin Guoan sighed, "Lao Zhang's wife is an only child. Her father has loved her since she was a child. Who would have thought that he would do such a thing behind her back?"
"Lao Zhang held the gun and pointed it at his father-in-law, his hands shaking. But his father-in-law remained calm, even smiling, pulling out his cell phone and making a call."
"Not long after, Lao Zhang's wife appeared before him." Qin Guoan's voice trembled. "She was still in confinement after giving birth, and the slightest breeze was enough to make her shiver." Lao Zhang had never expected such a scene, and he unconsciously lowered the gun in his hand.
"Lao Zhang's father-in-law said that if Lao Zhang spared his life, he would promise never to use drugs again and would leave all his property to his daughter. He hoped that Lao Zhang would spare his life for the sake of his daughter and granddaughter."
"At this time, Lao Zhang's wife also knelt down in front of him."
"Can you understand the pain Lao Zhang was in? Yu Hao, can you understand true pain?"
"Old Zhang was completely stunned," Qin Guoan's eyes reddened. "On one side was his kneeling wife, and on the other were his fallen comrades and their police uniforms. What was his choice?"
Yu Hao's lips moved, but no words came out. He couldn't imagine that desperate situation.
"Lao Zhang's wife knelt before him, begging him to release her father." Qin Guoan's voice gradually became lower. "She said that this was her only father, and if he died, she would die too. Then she pulled a pair of scissors from her bosom and put them to her own neck. Blood dripped from the scissors, staining her shirt and Lao Zhang's eyes red."
"Old Zhang also knelt and kowtowed three times," Qin Guoan's voice choked with sobs. "He said, 'Honey, I'm sorry, I'm a police officer.' He said he couldn't let the drug dealer go. It would be a betrayal of his fallen comrades and a desecration of the police uniform."
"He begged his wife to leave, saying he would go and be with her after he finished the case. But his wife refused to leave and put the scissors back into her neck, saying that if he arrested her father, she would die in front of him."
"Finally..." Qin Guoan took a deep breath, as if he had exhausted all his strength. "Lao Zhang's wife actually did it. The scissors stabbed her deeply, and she died instantly. Lao Zhang held his wife's body, motionless like a stone statue. It wasn't until his comrades called out to him, saying the drug dealers were about to escape, that he suddenly raised his head. There were no tears in his eyes, only cold determination."
"He raised his gun, shot my father-in-law in the leg, and handcuffed him himself." Qin Guoan's voice was filled with endless fatigue. "The case was solved, and he made a great contribution, but he never smiled again after that. Not long after, he resigned and returned to Nan'an Village, where he spent the rest of his life taking care of his daughter."
The living room was silent, with only the clock on the wall ticking. Yu Hao's tears flowed again, but this time, it was not because of pain.
Qin Guoan looked at him with a complex expression in his eyes: "Now, tell me, what is a police officer? What is justice? What is true care?"
Yu Hao wiped his tears, stood up straight, and his voice became firm, "I'm sorry, Master."
Qin Guoan nodded, a hint of relief in his eyes: "After all, your drinking was not in vain." He stood up and patted Yu Hao on the shoulder. "Nan'an Village needs you, and the brothers in the team need you too. Don't let us down."
Yu Hao nodded vigorously, his eyes were red, but no more tears fell.
After Qin Guoan left, Luo Xin served Yu Hao a bowl of chicken soup, which she had specially prepared. "This is the first time I've heard Uncle Zhang's story," she sighed. "It turns out everyone has so many difficulties."
Yu Hao drank the chicken soup, feeling the warmth flow down his throat and soothe his cold stomach. "Thank you, Luo Xin. And Sun Wei."
Sun Wei, standing on the side, was also deeply moved by Uncle Zhang's deeds.
"What are you thanking me for?" Luo Xin smiled.
Yu Hao raised his head and sighed deeply.
The meaning of being a policeman is that although they may know that they will feel pain and sadness, they still choose to stand on the side of justice and the law, and protect those who deserve protection.
The moonlight outside the window grew brighter, filtering through the curtains and filling the entire living room. Yu Hao put down his bowl, stood up, and walked to the window. The city lights in the distance shone brightly, like countless pairs of eyes, twinkling in the darkness.
He knew that when he woke up tomorrow, he would still be the captain of the criminal police team, with many cases waiting for him and many people waiting for him to protect.
The so-called justice and meaning are hidden in those seemingly difficult choices and in those beliefs that we persist in even when they are painful.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
