"You said, let me not care about those details, she can't affect me,"
She sneered and looked him up and down, "How could it not affect me? In my eyes, she is a woman who wants to be held in your arms while sleeping."
Her eyes were mocking, and Lu Ziyan looked unhappy, "I didn't..."
Xie Wan Ning ignored him and continued, "Do you know how torn my heart was every time you came to Shao Guang Yuan and pulled me to bed?"
"I tried to tell myself that there are few men in this world who don't have concubines. It's normal for you to have concubines. I shouldn't be petty and calculative. I should learn to be generous and be a virtuous and dignified marquis' wife."
Her tone was calm, but every word was meaningful. Lu Ziyan's heart sank. He took a step forward to stop her from speaking, but Xie Wan Ning's voice had already sounded in his ears.
"But I can't do it," she said, "When you kiss me, I can't help but think about who you have kissed with this mouth and where you have kissed them. When you hug me, I will think about how you behaved on their couches, whether you were strong and whether you were so demanding."
"I can't control those thoughts," she said with disgust, "Every time I get close to you, I feel sick and want to vomit."
These were the true feelings she had endured all her life, but she was his wife at the time, and saying them out loud would do nothing but make her more embarrassed and ridiculous.
It’s different now. Now she has nothing to worry about. She doesn’t have to put herself in a difficult position or pretend anymore.
She just disgusted him.
Lu Ziyan seemed to be stupid, staring blankly at her lips opening and closing, listening to her uttering heart-piercing words.
During those years, he used these bits and pieces of comfort over and over again, and she said she felt so sick that she wanted to vomit.
Those memories were the motivation that kept him alive for five years, but in her eyes, they were so unbearable.
He turned pale and didn't want to hear her continue.
"Only you. I've only kissed you and hugged you. Don't think of me like that. You're the only one I want." He paused and said, "I've only slept with you in my arms."
When he finished speaking, there was a hint of grievance in his voice.
There was no murderous aura, no coldness or arrogance. At this moment, he was like a misunderstood teenager.
Xie Wan Ning pursed her lips and looked at him, feeling somewhat speechless.
The room became quiet, and the two were only an arm's length away from each other. Her scent lingered in his nose bit by bit with his breathing.
It was the scent of Baiyuelan that she usually used.
She didn't know how much he loved the smell of her.
He loved holding her in his arms and kissing her body.
The skin as white as mutton-fat jade was warmed up bit by bit by him and turned pink.
Even now, with their relationship at this point, he still couldn't resist anything about her.
He already knew that she was his addiction.
Lu Ziyan's eyes moved slightly and his back gradually straightened.
Xie Wan Ning noticed this change almost instantly. She frowned and took two steps back again, until her back was against the windowsill, with no room for retreat.
Her series of reactions made Lu Ziyan's lips curl up. He stood where he was and didn't move closer. He just raised his eyes to look at her and smiled.
"Wanwan really understands me."
They have been husband and wife for two years and they couldn't be closer.
Xie Wan Ning turned away and said in disgust, "Beast!"
He was still crying, confessing his inner feelings word by word, explaining his difficulties. He was even injured, but even in such a situation, he could become aroused while talking.
If not a beast, what is it?
Lu Ziyan hummed and didn't get angry even after being scolded.
"You can say whatever you want. I don't deny it." His eyes fell on her delicate face and said, "Even if you are a beast, I have only been hard with you."
How dare he say such a thing?
It was so vulgar that it made her ears dirty.
Xie Wan Ning had a deeper understanding of his shamelessness. Her cheeks flushed and she glared at him angrily.
After a while, she gritted her teeth and said, "I don't believe it."
He made such a long speech just to prove that he is innocent.
"I don't believe you. I don't believe you haven't touched Liu Manrou and Erxia." Thinking of Erxia, her face became even colder, and she said word by word: "After all, didn't you and Erxia do it in my yard?"
As soon as she finished speaking, Lu Ziyan's face changed. "Erxia's incident happened suddenly. When I found out who her master was, I couldn't take care of anything else. I didn't have time to slowly pull out this nail."
"I approached her and gave her two choices: to die immediately or to defect to my side. She chose to betray her master and save her life."
"But she is your personal maid. I cannot let such a two-faced person serve you in your daily life."
He thought of the scene in his dream where the girl stood stiffly outside the greenhouse and heard the noise inside. He smiled helplessly, "At that time, I just wanted you to stop associating with her from now on. I was stupid and only came up with this idea."
There is no way to make the master more disgusted than having a maid climb onto the bed.
How stupid he was. He only thought about keeping her away from Erxia and all possible dangers, and completely forgot to think about what he would become in her eyes if he did so.
Erxia is not the only one who is despised.
After the Erxia incident, she seemed like a different person in front of him. The girl who smiled sweetly at him was no longer there.
Xie Wan Ning, who was standing aside, had no intention of thinking about love affairs at all. When she heard his words, she just felt unbelievable.
"Erxia is my family's servitude daughter. Her father, mother and brothers are all servitude slaves in the mansion. Whose daughter could she be?"
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