He was often neglected by his parents and rarely saw pocket money growing up. At that time, Xie Yan thought his parents were different from others, that they didn't favor boys over girls, so he had a good attitude. Until his younger brother was born, Xie Yan's years of persistence became a joke. What kind of "not favoring boys over girls" was that? They just didn't value him!
The birth of his younger brother was like a resounding slap across Xie Yan's face, leaving a burning pain!
But Xie Yan couldn't say that her parents didn't love her; she could only say that they didn't love her as much. Xie Yan couldn't bring herself to resent them, nor could she help not to resent them. Years later, Xie Yan finally understood that her parents' love for her was like a damp cotton coat. Although it protected her from the cold wind, the dampness also made her feel uneasy at all times.
Over the years, Xie Yan has had a decent time at this family home, but it hasn't been great either!
But recently it's time to go to the countryside, and the oppressive environment at home has really become unbearable for Xie Yan. This year, he and his sister Xie Duoduo have reached the appropriate age, and since no one in their family has gone to the countryside yet, someone from their family has to go this time.
Moreover, it's almost certain that they'll be going to the Northwest. Would good places be reserved for people like them who have no background or connections?
This is clearly impossible.
Xie Yan was a rural person in his previous life, and he knew very well the hardships of rural life. He worked so hard to get out of the countryside, how could he not understand what rural life is like?
It's even harder now than in my previous life. Even getting food is a problem. Only people who have grown up in the countryside can truly understand the hardships of rural life!
This is why people who come from modern rural areas almost never return to the countryside.
But what can he do if he doesn't want to go? His parents won't spend money to find him a job; jobs are so hard to find in the city these days!
It's really a case of one person for one job. It's even harder for him to find work on his own. He's a student with no social resources, and finding a job at this time is absolutely impossible!
At this moment, Xie Yan was very envious of the transmigrated heroines in the novels he had read in his previous life, who could find a job so easily.
You can succeed at anything you set your mind to.
But reality is cruel. Xie Yan has been wandering around outside lately, hoping to get lucky, but he hasn't gotten anything out of it. He has been defeated by reality and resigned to his fate.
Reality isn't a novel. Without connections or power, you're just dreaming if you think you can find a job.
Sigh! Xie Yan has sighed more times during this period than he has in the previous eighteen years combined.
The thought of going home and facing my parents' sighs and constant veiled sarcasm is truly suffocating.
In fact, if his parents weren't so biased, he would have chosen to go to the countryside between him and his sister. After all, it's unpredictable what his sister, a girl, would encounter after going to the countryside.
But is making a decision voluntarily the same as being forced to do it by someone else?
Xie Yan is also a rebellious person. You want me to go to the countryside voluntarily? I'll just refuse!
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With no way to avoid it, Xie Yan trudged upstairs with heavy steps. Opening the door, he found his family already there. His mother, Chen Guihua, rolled her eyes at him, "What have you been doing all day! You've already graduated from school, you should be doing what you're supposed to be doing! All you do is run around outside, what's so attractive to you out there! Can't you see the mountain of chores piling up at home?!"
Seeing that Xie Yan had no reaction, she muttered under her breath, "I really owe you something in this life. I've served you with all my heart, and you still think that we, your parents, want to harm you. You're so young, yet you think so highly of yourself. You're always running around outside. Everyone knows what you're thinking. You're such a grown man, and you're still dreaming about all sorts of nice things!"
Xie Yan sighed. See? Here we go again. All these roundabout ways are just implying he should voluntarily go to the countryside. But why should he? Why?!
If Xie Yan didn't know that they had already saved up a dowry for Xie Yuanyuan long ago, not to mention that their eldest sister Xie Duoduo's job was bought with their own money, and that they were already starting to worry about their younger brother Xie Ting's job after graduation.
He wouldn't be that angry or furious!
They had already made life plans for the others!
But he alone, he alone, was abandoned by them early on.
They don't include themselves in any of their plans! And they shamelessly claim that they are people of the new era, that they treat all their children equally, and that they treat everyone the same.
Xie Yan felt disgusted just hearing that!
They clearly wanted him to go to the countryside, but they made various hypocritical hints, hoping he would volunteer to go to the countryside so as to enhance their good reputation.
But Xie Yan didn't meet their expectations. He didn't want to bring it up himself and wanted to shatter his parents' self-righteous sense of fairness. He insisted on not doing what they thought was right: harmony in the family brings prosperity!
Xie Yan felt that he should be resentful, but he didn't know what he should resent.
He resented his parents' favoritism, but in his father's words, "I raised you all these years, you were never hungry or thirsty, you went to school, I didn't mistreat you!"
If you can't find a job because of your own incompetence, you can't blame anyone else.
As for my job and money, don't worry about them. I got this job through my own exams, and I earned this money myself. I can spend it however I want and give it to whomever I want. No one says that all my money should be spent on my children!
I won't rely on you when I'm old, so don't worry about my meager savings for my funeral.
This rural assignment is a policy, not something I ordered you to do, so you can't blame me!
Upon hearing these words, Xie Yan swallowed all his rebuttals; all his emotions deflated like a punctured balloon.
What could he say? What could he possibly say?
After calming down completely, I finally let go of my family ties and realized my place in the family. It didn't seem so sad anymore, since I had known this for a long time.
I've just been living in self-deception all along!
It seems that deep down, I have already accepted all of this.
Now that people have seen through it, I'm not as upset as I thought. Suddenly all my entanglement and sadness have disappeared, and I've calmly and accepting it all.
Accepting it is one thing, but expecting Xie Yan to voluntarily offer to go to the countryside is impossible.
They got all the good guys and all the good deeds!
He was going to wait it out until his parents took the initiative to speak up, shatter their self-deception, and make them clearly understand that they had been abandoned by them.
Otherwise, when he comes back, they will blame him for not being close to his parents and for being cold-blooded! They will also say that he went to the countryside voluntarily, and no one forced him to go!
Xie Yan told them to shut up!
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