Chapter 54. The Weeping Boat Crossing the River: May I Cry? ...
Xia Chan took the afternoon off and sat by the sea in the forest park for a very long time.
The sky was overcast, and the thick gray clouds seemed to hold the promise of a sudden downpour. The wind whipped up waves that crashed against the shore with a mournful, almost weeping sound.
She sat by the sea, hugging her knees, lost in thought. The wind tousled her shoulder-length hair, which was above her shoulder blades.
She remained motionless, gazing silently at the coastline.
She always felt a tightness in her chest, as if a large stone was stuck there, unable to be swallowed or expelled.
She gazed at the vast ocean, wishing she could throw all her troubles into the sea like trash, and then turn into bubbles, drifting away and dying.
The phone screen next to my feet suddenly lit up; it was an app notification.
Xia Chan lowered her eyes.
This is NetEase Cloud Music's daily song recommendation. Today's theme is summer: "Summer is here, the light is coming, come to NetEase Cloud Music to find your summer! Listen to Chen Zhoudu's 'Crossing Summer' and Lu Sheng's 'Midsummer Light Year'..."
Xia Chan paused, her gaze lingering on the words "Crossing Summer" for a long time, and then, as if possessed, she clicked on it.
As soon as the phone enters the playback page, a gentle melody immediately begins, accompanied by the sound of the sea breeze.
Gradually, the sea breeze seemed to fade away, and the wind around me gradually subsided. A familiar yet unfamiliar voice rang in my ears, clear and pure, as if it could always soothe the soul and carry one's thoughts far away.
The cicadas' chirping harmonizes with the strings
Turning back to that summer
Recalling memories
But it was hard to find a way to sleep through the night.
You in my memory
In the blink of an eye, it's all gone.
...
...
—Hey, what song is this?
——……
—Speak!
--have no idea.
--……ah?
—It's an original piece, untitled, without lyrics, just a melody, and it's still quite immature.
—Sinking boat crossing... You can do this too?
...
Xia Chan hadn't actually heard this song much, and ever since they parted ways, she had always intentionally avoided his name and his songs.
Even though it was so popular back then that short videos of it were everywhere, she only heard about it a few times intermittently.
Listening carefully at this moment, she kept inexplicably recalling something, her lips slightly pursed and her eyes slightly reddening.
Remember your eyes
Like the light and shadow of midsummer
Starlight has nowhere to hide the secret in my heart.
Like cicada chirping
The distance that chases me with nowhere to escape
"There are countless answers"
But there was no reply.
The mountain wind blows
The lingering feeling in my heart
Fiery
But the summer that couldn't be survived...
As the song gradually moved into the chorus, his tone became increasingly high and his emotions seemed to grow stronger, as if he were urgently telling a story or searching for something.
But he never found the answer, so he felt sad, lost, and bewildered...
As Xia Chan listened quietly, she inexplicably felt a pang of sadness and a strong urge to cry.
But gradually... she felt that the singing wasn't just coming from her phone.
It also seems like...
She paused, incredulous, and turned around abruptly—only to be met with a pair of eyes that should never have been there at this moment.
Behind her, Chen Zhoudu, who had appeared out of nowhere, was humming softly as he cautiously approached her with his hands in his pockets.
But the moment she suddenly turned around, he squatted down, gave an embarrassed smile as if he had been caught red-handed, and tilted his head to meet her eyes.
He was wearing a black tracksuit, and the hoodie and sweatpants made him look exceptionally tall.
His face was without any makeup, and he looked exceptionally handsome and clean.
Her fine hair was disheveled by the sea breeze, but her eyes shone brightly.
His gaze met her eyes, a slight smile playing on his lips, and he said, "Why listen to a recording when you have the original singer right here? Is it because my singing isn't as good as your singing?"
Xia Chan stared blankly at the music still playing on repeat in her hand, when suddenly, a large number of tears fell down her cheeks.
In an instant, she broke down in tears, bowing her head and sobbing uncontrollably.
Chen Zhoudu froze, the smile on his lips vanishing instantly. He rushed to her side, reaching out to touch her but then hesitating. "What's wrong..."
His voice was also low and hoarse.
Xia Chan covered her forehead with one hand, silently shedding tears, unable to speak. Her summers had never been something she had to chase after, but rather always silently followed in her footsteps before the storm, arriving at her side.
-
The heavy rain continued to fall, pattering against the car windows like a cascading waterfall. Outside the windows, a misty haze seemed to isolate the interior of the car into a small, independent world.
Xia Chan and Shen Zhoudu were both sitting in the back seat. Xia Chan was using the towel he had given her to wipe the water droplets from her hair.
He also got caught in the rain; his clothes were damp and his hair was matted.
Xia Chan simply wiped herself and handed him the towel, but he just shook his head and smiled, and took the initiative to gently wipe a spot on her head that he hadn't had time to wipe before.
Xia Chan's eyes were still wet and red, and the tip of her nose was also red. She turned her head to silently hide the traces of crying and took the initiative to start the conversation, asking, "Why are you back? Didn't you say you weren't coming back until the 30th..."
If she remembered correctly, she recalled that he had said he would only file a counter-application on the 30th.
"I finished filming early, so I came back early." Chen Zhoudu, oblivious to her unease, smiled as usual: "I've wrapped up filming."
There was a hint of self-satisfaction in her expression and tone. Xia Chan offered a perfunctory congratulation, then asked, "Why didn't you say so beforehand?"
He had been checking in on her every day and reporting everything to her every move, and Xia Chan had almost gotten used to his way of doing it. The sudden refusal to report anything seemed strange to her.
"I wanted to surprise you." Chen Zhoudu sighed and pretended to be sentimental. "But I had already checked into the Tianze store when your colleague said you had taken leave. I knew the plan had fallen through, so I came out to find you before I even had a chance to put my luggage down."
Xia Chan's brow twitched slightly, her mind a jumble of thoughts. "Then how did you know I was here?"
He suddenly smiled mysteriously.
When Xia Chan met his gaze, a premonition suddenly rose in her heart, and she tentatively asked, "...Siyi?"
Chen Zhoudu laughed even more gleefully. Xia Chan angrily exclaimed, "Traitor!"
“No, you didn’t tell her you took leave at all, so how would she know where you were?” Chen Zhoudu laughed. “I went to Taoyuan Lane and found you weren’t there. Manager Xia took leave and didn’t go home or tell her colleagues, so she must be in a bad mood. So I came here to try my luck.”
He winked at her slyly, "Looks like I'm in pretty good luck."
Xia Chan stared at him expressionlessly, a slight daze stirring within her, along with a silent sigh. After a long while, she gave a half-smile and a soft hum, “Looks like I should find a new emo base.”
Chen Zhoudu smiled noncommittally, then took the towel draped over her shoulder and dried her still-damp hair.
He moved very gently and carefully, wiping her damp hair little by little.
Running your fingertips through your hair feels like walking through a soft cloud.
Xia Chan stared down at the hem of his clothes, feeling as if she were enveloped by his aura. For some reason, she felt a pang of sadness in her heart, her fingertips clenched tightly, and her body trembled slightly, almost imperceptibly.
"Cold?" Shen Zhoudu keenly noticed the subtle changes in her body and immediately used voice control before she could speak, "Xiao Mei, Xiao Mei."
"Hey!" The sound actually came from his car stereo.
"Turn on the heater."
The car's air conditioning was turned on immediately the next second, and a wisp of warm air blew out from the fan blades to dispel the chill of the rain.
Xia Chan stared at his high-end car display screen with a hint of curiosity, and said with a light smile, "So high-class."
"Yours will do too, won't it?" To her surprise, Chen Zhoudu simply smiled and said it was perfectly reasonable.
Xia Chan was stunned for a moment and was about to say that she didn't have a car, but he had already lowered his head to look at the phone in her hand and called out with a hint of humor, "Xiao Yi, Xiao Yi."
"Hey!" The phone's AI immediately responded.
Xia Chan glanced at him indifferently, speechless, and was about to turn it off when Chen Zhoudu stopped her, took her phone without explanation, and dodged her outstretched hand, asking with a smile, "Tell me, which singer's songs has your master been listening to the most lately?"
Xia Chan: "..."
A female mechanical voice quickly came from the phone, "Okay, here are the statistics for you. The artist you've listened to the most recently is Shen Zhoudu; the song you've listened to the most times is 'Crossing the Summer'; I hope this answer satisfies you."
"..." Xia Chan slowly took a deep breath and glared at him. Chen Zhoudu just looked at her and smiled with obvious satisfaction.
"Is there any possibility..." Xia Chan said indifferently, "I don't listen to music very often anyway."
Those two takes were almost the limit.
Chen Zhoudu, seemingly unconcerned, asked again, "Xiao Yi, Xiao Yi, tell me who the celebrity I've been following the most lately is?"
Xiao Yi: "Okay, here's the statistics for you. The celebrity you searched the most recently is Guan Bohan; the number of searches is as high as four times; I hope this answer satisfies you."
This time it was Sunken Boat's turn: "..."
Xia Chan immediately burst into laughter, bending over backwards.
He stared at her for a moment, smiled, then locked his phone and handed it back to her, but his tone was still resentful, "Why did you search for him?"
I searched four more times.
I don't know what that guy has that's worth searching four times.
Xia Chan, not to be outdone, glared at him defiantly and said, "None of your business."
I'm jealous.
He hesitated for a long time before finally letting the words out. Then, as if resigned, he lowered his head, silently slipped his hand into his hoodie pocket, and said to her, "I brought you a gift when I went to Liancheng to film this time."
It is a flower-shaped amber piece.
The amber doesn't look particularly exquisite, but you can tell at a glance that it's handmade. It has a few snow-white willow flowers sealed in the middle, as if sealing away the snowflakes that fall in winter.
Eternal stillness is captured in the crystal-clear amber.
Snow willow flowers only exist in the north, and cannot bloom in Shanghai.
Xia Chan stared at the flower for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Chen Zhoudu carefully observed her expression and said, "I saw this flower in Liancheng."
"Not many families grow this flower anymore... I thought it looked a lot like the one my grandma used to grow at the entrance of the 'ferry,' so I picked a few and made this. Look, doesn't it look like it?"
“Like…” Xia Chan stared at it for a long time, feeling a pang of emotion. Her previously scattered feelings seemed to slowly gather again like thin clouds. Her eyes trembled as she gazed at the flower for a very long time.
It's not just similar.
They are exactly the same.
pity……
The ferry crossing is gone, and so is Shanfeng Lane.
Three years ago, Shanfeng Lane was demolished, and that area was turned into a commercial district. Uncle Chao, Aunt Chao, and the neighbors of Shanfeng Lane all moved away, like flowers falling in the wind, scattered and gone.
Her eyes were slightly red and tears were welling up again. Chen Zhoudu looked at her and suddenly felt a little lost. Before he could ask, she looked up at him with teary eyes and smiled softly, "Chen Zhoudu, come here. There's something I want to tell you."
Chen Zhoudu looked at her with a puzzled expression, but still obediently leaned down to listen.
Suddenly, he was very close to her, and Xia Chan could smell the scent of laundry detergent on him, like the scent of grass and trees.
Her lips gradually approached his ear, but it was like a light kiss as she brushed against it. She gently rested her forehead on his shoulder, and suddenly, silently, a tear fell.
Shen Zhoudu froze instantly, not daring to move, his fingertips clenched tightly, his voice low and hoarse, "You..."
"The sunken boat crosses the river." Her fingertips silently tugged at the ends of his robe, and she whispered in his arms, "Can I cry?"
“Of course.” Chen Zhoudu smiled, but his heart was filled with bitterness, a mixture of emotions like a bottle of mixed flavors. “Isn’t the first thing a person learns to do when they come into this world to cry? Why can’t you cry?”
"But I feel so ashamed..."
“Why is crying shameful?” Shen Zhoudu said, “Have you forgotten? I’ve cried to you before, when I confessed my feelings, when we reunited… If it were shameful, wouldn’t I have already abandoned you?”
It felt as if some defense in her heart was slowly crumbling, and she sobbed uncontrollably in his arms, her tears soaking the fabric of his shirt.
She knew herself to be cold, aloof, and harsh.
Not good at speaking gently, aloof and stubborn;
She is covered in thorns and never hesitates to hurt many people in order to protect herself. She wraps herself in a hard shell and stubbornly believes that what she is stubborn about has hurt many people who are truly good to her.
"I'm sorry..." she sobbed intermittently in his arms, "I'm sorry..."
Chen Zhoudu's eyes were slightly red, but his chest was burning hot, as if something was about to jump out.
He didn't ask her what was wrong, but simply hugged her tightly, stiffly and silently.
Outside the window, the rain was pouring down.
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