Chapter 61. A Tender Feeling: I love you so much...
Standing in front of Shen Zhoudu's room that night, Xia Chan still felt a little hesitant, wondering if she had been bewitched by him and had actually ended up here.
She hesitated for a long time with her fingertips hovering over the combination lock, but ultimately couldn't press it.
He gritted his teeth and thought he would leave first and make up an excuse to get rid of them.
Suddenly, the security door was opened from the inside, and a force pulled her into the house.
Xia Chan hadn't even had time to see the figure clearly before she was plunged into a deep kiss.
Shen Zhoudu cupped the back of her neck with his hands, pried open her teeth with his lips, and pressed his thin lips against hers with force.
He stifled her breath with his consuming kisses.
Xia Chan felt as if she had become a fish out of breath, only able to let out soft moans in the gaps between breaths, her breath being swallowed up.
His other hand slipped silently under the hem of her clothes, as if caressing and kneading a piece of soft fabric.
Then, a faint smile played on his lips, and his fingertips brushed across a certain spot, seemingly unintentionally.
"Mmm..." Xia Chan let out a soft moan that she couldn't help, and her body trembled suddenly under his palm.
Suddenly, she felt an unbearable force in her arm and instinctively pushed him forward, causing Chen Zhoudu to hastily take two steps back.
She bent over, hands on her knees, panting heavily, her chest heaving violently. Chen Zhoudu also couldn't help but breathe softly, his lips slightly parted, his eyes unusually bright, his lips crimson.
"You've been peeking through the door!" Xia Chan glared at him angrily, her cheeks flushed with a drunken blush, her furrowed eyes filled with affection and a moist red.
"We'll see when you come in, and whether you even come in." He just smiled and stepped forward again, trapping her between the wall and him once more, and suddenly bit her earlobe as if as punishment.
"Trying to run?"
Xia Chan suddenly felt a tingling sensation in her ears and temples, but she dared not show weakness. She gritted her teeth, suddenly reached out and grabbed his throat, turning him around and pressing him against the wall.
Chen Zhoudu seemed startled for a moment, but quickly laughed and accepted it, slowly raising his hands in a gesture of surrender.
She ripped the strap off her shoulder bag, which seemed to wrap around his wrists like a chain, until the strap bound his wrists tightly. She pressed him against the wall and leaned down to press her body against his neck without saying a word.
Her arms, like a soft snake, coiled around his neck, gently kissing and nibbling at his Adam's apple with her teeth.
Chen Zhoudu's neck tensed into a straight line in an instant, his bound wrists tightened abruptly, his fingertips clenched white, and a layer of fine goosebumps rose from his back.
He couldn't escape or hide from it; his Adam's apple churned violently, and he could only turn his head and smile as he tried to avoid it and beg for mercy.
After a moment, she gently released him, her moist, red eyes meeting his deep, unfathomable gaze. She lightly touched the corner of her lips and said disdainfully, "Give in?"
"I'm convinced." Shen Zhoudu couldn't help but laugh and nodded repeatedly. Just as she let go of his hand, he suddenly grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him.
"Go take a shower first?" His voice was already hoarse, his eyes gleaming strangely, and he whispered, "How about it?"
-
The heavy curtains in the bedroom hung to the floor, blocking out all light, and the darkness was filled with soft, enchanting sounds.
The silk quilt fabric rustled softly from the friction, accompanied by faint, labored breathing.
The deep blue silk sheets resemble a deep blue ocean, with two hands clasped tightly together, their fingers interlocked, rising and falling with the waves.
Then the wind and waves gradually grew stronger, with the wind rising and the clouds surging, creating towering waves.
The wind made the lone boat on the sea sway as if in a storm, and the cicadas cried out in anguish.
He gripped her wrist tightly, rubbing it against the silky fabric until her skin flushed a hot red. He leaned down gently and kissed the back of her reddened hand, lightly sucking on her fingertips.
Sweat dripped gently from his neck, like a light drizzle, yet on the other hand, it was like a violent storm engulfing him.
Then the last few rapid waves suddenly poured down, as if to drown and sink the whole world.
Xia Chan's eyes reddened, and her chin and neck arched back in a tight curve. Then, gradually, the wind and waves subsided, and the sea gradually returned to calm. Two figures floated safely on the sea, like the moon cast into the water, reflecting on the shimmering surface.
Chen Zhoudu pursed his lips, paused for a moment, and then turned on the light. A soft, dim light immediately illuminated the dark bedroom. He lay back on the bed, slightly out of breath, and pulled her into his arms.
Xia Chan was exhausted; her eyes were red, and her hair around her face and neck was completely wet.
The light reflected off the surface, creating a shimmering, watery effect.
Chen Zhoudu gently smoothed her damp hair and lowered his head to kiss her forehead.
Xia Chan kept her eyes tightly closed, her breathing rising and falling evenly and heavily. Her slender shoulders nestled in his arms like a piece of porcelain wet with water, and one could almost hear the heartbeat in his chest.
Thump, thump... heavy and powerful, as if they were about to jump out, and they were so strong that they made her pulse feel hot.
The two embraced in silence for a while without saying a word. After a moment, Chen Zhoudu gently placed her back on the pillow.
She got out of bed and tidied herself up by herself.
After a moment of rustling, as if something had been thrown into the trash can, Xia Chan heard him probably tearing off a tissue and wiping something.
A moment later, I felt a chill between my legs as I slightly lifted the blanket over myself.
Her brow trembled slightly, and her fingertips gripped the sheets tightly, but she didn't move or make a sound.
Then a soft touch pressed against her body, very light, as if a soft and warm cloud was slowly enveloping her.
Xia Chan felt her heart pounding hotter and her fingertips tightening, her heart clenching into a knot. His reaction only worsened, and he smiled in bewilderment, finally giving up. He tossed aside the tissue, climbed back into bed, and pulled her into his arms.
"Are you still feeling unwell?" He kissed her forehead again.
She shook her head, keeping her eyes closed, and said, "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up in half an hour."
He ran his fingers through her hair. "You can sleep right here. Nobody will bother you."
Xia Chan smiled slightly but still shook her head. Chen Zhoudu paused for a moment, his eyes dimmed slightly, and lowered his head, still gently stroking her hair and massaging her stiff neck and shoulders.
Standing at work year-round had made her shoulders and neck as stiff as a rock. He gently massaged them with his fingertips, as if trying to soften them and also soften a frozen heart.
Feeling her breathing gradually become calm and even, yet she hadn't fallen asleep, Chen Zhoudu gazed at her, smiled, and gently tucked her hair behind his fingertips. After thinking for a moment, he finally said softly, "That man today..."
Xia Chan paused for a moment, then opened her eyes and gave him a meaningful look.
Shen Zhoudu met her eyes and smiled sheepishly, "He likes you."
"Um."
Her decisive admission left him speechless, and his deep, unfathomable gaze almost drew her in.
Meeting his gaze only fueled Xia Chan's inner laughter. She reached out and ruffled his hair, making it a mess, like a downtrodden stray puppy. Chen Zhoudu remained motionless, letting her ruffle his hair, his eyelashes lowered. Finally, she explained with a helpless click of her tongue, "His name is Song Yalin, he was my senior in college."
"Two years older than me."
Chen Zhoudu glanced at her, his eyes flickering slightly.
Xia Chan: "Back in college, he helped me a lot. At that time, I was unfamiliar with Shanghai and it was difficult to find part-time jobs. Our school offered work-study jobs such as library work and office cleaning, but there were always many applicants, and it was difficult to get a job without connections. He helped me and my advisor get a chance."
"Later, after I graduated, he directly recommended me to work at Ya Hai. Oh, so, looking at it this way, he's also your store manager! Young master. So, you understand? I really wanted to thank him properly, but I didn't expect..."
A long-standing question finally settled in his heart, and he chuckled to himself. He rested his chin on her shoulder and pulled her closer, gently kissing her ear. "So, you were our matchmaker."
"A matchmaker?" Xia Chan frowned.
"Mmm." He chuckled softly, kissing her gently, his warm breath brushing against her ear, and then their love began to linger. "If he hadn't introduced you to Ya Hai, I don't know when I would have been able to see you again. Looking at it this way, isn't he the matchmaker?"
Xia Chan felt a tingling sensation at the tips of her ears, which then spread from the bone behind her ears all the way down her spine, causing her to tremble. She stretched out her leg to kick his shin. "You're unlucky... unlucky as in bad luck! Sure enough, nothing good ever comes of me getting involved with your Ya Hai..."
He couldn't help but laugh again, and with a quick lift of his leg, he pressed her leg tightly against his. After another round of playful fighting, he suddenly turned over and pressed her onto the soft blanket, launching into another unrestrained kiss.
"Xia Chan." After a while, he separated them, his arm resting on top of hers, quietly gazing into her eyes. Her clear pupils now resembled brown agate beads. "Are there many people who like you?"
"What do you think?" She paused slightly, then gracefully hooked her arm around his neck and chuckled.
That must be a lot.
He didn't speak, but suddenly let out a very soft sigh and leaned down to kiss her again. His warm lips gently brushed over her lips, chin, neck, and collarbone... His movements were so gentle that it was as if he were comforting a fragile work of art.
Back in high school, she was extremely eye-catching; even walking silently on campus, she could instantly become the center of attention.
Even his former deskmate said that many boys on campus liked her, but they didn't dare to approach her because of the scandalous news surrounding her.
Later, as she grew up, she gradually learned to conceal her sharp edges and hide the thorny corners of her personality, but she grew more and more beautiful and also used a gentle appearance to disguise and hide them.
Naturally, she is extremely attractive.
He once asked himself if he had met her when she was seventeen, but after she had grown up, he would still be irresistibly attracted to her.
But if that were the case, he would probably just stand silently in the distance watching her, like all the men who admire and like him now, blending into the crowd.
So the order in which people appear in your life really matters. He was very fortunate that fate allowed him to meet her when he was seventeen.
Xia Chan's back tensed instantly, bending like a shrimp. Having just experienced it, her body was still very sensitive, a slight shiver creeping up her spine. Her fingertips silently gripped the corner of the blanket, and her voice was almost a straight line.
"Not as many as you..."
"Me?" Chen Zhoudu paused for a moment, looking down on her, his fingertips silently twirling in circles. "What do you mean, 'I'm not'?"
“Where are there no ones?” Xia Chan’s breathing became heavy for a moment, and she almost imitated his tone, not wanting to be outdone, “More than ten million fans… and Lulu, Yiran…”
Chen Zhoudu chuckled, grabbed her fidgeting hand, pressed it against the bed, and kissed her wrist. "They don't like me." Her breathing deepened; it was Chen Zhoudu.
"Aren't you Sunken Boat Ferryman?"
He just smiled faintly and shook his head, gently kissing the increasingly hoarse voice, "The Singing Chenzhoudu... and the Chenzhoudu of Yahai, it's hard to say they're the same person."
"Some people like the singing version of 'The Sinking Boat Crossing,' some like the singing version of 'The Sinking Boat Crossing' in Asia, but very few people like 'me,' only me..."
Xia Chan understood what he meant but didn't know what to say for a moment. Her thoughts drifted away as he kissed her tenderly.
In a fleeting moment, she heard him whisper in her ear, "Xia Chan..."
"Do you like the seventeen-year-old Shen Zhoudu?"
Xia Chan remained silent for a second.
Xia Chan couldn't deny that even after so many years of separation and reunion, her deepest impression of him remained that of the boy from back then.
When we first met, he stood there clean and tidy, like a handful of cold frost and snow from a distant mountain, so handsome that even the setting sun seemed to favor him.
At that time, she didn't know who he was or where he came from. She only knew that his name was Chen Zhoudu, that he was smart, handsome, and polite... Every impression she had of him was pure and heartfelt.
When she found out who he was, she became hesitant.
After a long pause, she sighed softly, half-jokingly and half-seriously, and said, "I might not like the sunken boat crossing."
Chen Zhoudu chuckled and then, as if in a fit of revenge, kissed her fiercely, gently biting her lip, and said in a hoarse voice, "Chen Zhoudu likes you."
At that moment, his eyes were unusually intense under the lamplight, "The sunken boat crosses the river..." I love you so much.
Then her body sank, as if she were drowning in a gentle sea, sinking into a state of despair once again.
During the storm, something was accidentally knocked off the bedside by Xia Chan. She only managed to pick up the corner of the blanket and the item after the storm had passed.
It's a picture frame.
An old photograph is embedded inside.
It's a woman.
Xia Chan stared, slightly taken aback.
The woman had similar eyebrows and eyes to Shen Zhoudu, beautiful and gentle, with a pair of light brown eyes that were clear like amber, and she looked young.
After tidying up in the bathroom, Chen Zhoudu returned and saw her staring blankly at the photo. He couldn't help but chuckle. He got into bed and pulled her into his arms again, explaining, "This is my mother."
Xia Chan had already guessed it, and sincerely exclaimed, "Your mother is very beautiful."
"Hmm." Shen Zhoudu took the photo back from her hand and held it in his own, looking at it silently, as if he were also gazing at something through the photo, his fingertips involuntarily touching her eyes.
"This is when she was about thirty-four or thirty-five years old. She was indeed very beautiful and gentle."
"Her name is Zhou Yangcan, which is a very nice name and also sounds sunny. She lives up to her name and I always remember her as very energetic. She has never lost her temper with me."
“My maternal grandfather was a university professor, so he raised my mother very well, and they also taught me a lot. I think... they are the people who have had the deepest influence on me.”
Xia Chan rarely heard Chen Zhoudu talk about his mother's deeds, and she could clearly see his mother's shadow in him. Now, listening to him talk about these things, she was filled with mixed feelings, wondering if this would reopen old wounds in his heart. She asked softly, "Then... how did she..."
"Breast cancer." Shen Zhoudu had already guessed what she wanted to say and answered first.
Xia Chan's heart skipped a beat.
He simply met her momentary startled and apologetic gaze with a gentle smile, then reached out and lightly covered her eyes, as calmly as if he were telling someone else's story.
“She was diagnosed when I was ten years old, and it was already stage four. But she was very optimistic and strong. Even when she was so weak from chemotherapy that she could not walk and her hair fell out, she still comforted me, saying that she was going to be transformed back into a fairy and was still fighting against the disease.”
"The day she passed away, the weather was beautiful, and I had a math competition. Actually, she hadn't been feeling well since morning. But my dad, wanting me to focus on the competition, told me that my mom was getting better and not to worry. While I was writing furiously on the competition floor, she was already gone. My last impression of her was that she was lying there quietly, as if asleep, covered with a white sheet, wearing a wig, truly like a fairy. I think she wasn't lying to me after all..."
Therefore, reconciliation and forgiveness are impossible.
I could never forgive him.
He and Shen Jinghai...
Xia Chan's throat suddenly felt like it was being gripped by a thin string, making it hard to breathe. Her heart pounded rapidly. Her eyelashes, which he had lightly covered, fluttered like butterfly wings, brushing against his palm. She pulled his hand away and said in a hoarse voice, "Chen Zhoudu, I..."
After much hesitation, she could only manage a strained "I'm sorry..."
Chen Zhoudu's eyes reddened slightly, but he only smiled at her and said, "All of this happened a long time ago. Actually, I've almost forgotten about it." Time is a very magical thing. No matter how intense the emotions were, they can be washed away very little. Then, when you suddenly look back, the heart-wrenching pain is gone, leaving only a long, lingering dampness in your heart.
Xia Chan stared at him, speechless.
“Xia Chan, actually, I didn’t mean to force you to give me an answer.” His eyes gradually became more and more moist. He looked at her and said slowly, “It’s just that I’ve always felt that I don’t have much left in my life, so I really want to hold on to it. Life seems very long, but I always feel that it is very short. I don’t know when I will suddenly lose something I have, so I want to seize the opportunity and live for the moment.”
I'm sorry if this has caused you any trouble. But I really, really want to... be with you.
Xia Chan felt as if his gaze was burning her. She quietly met his eyes and awkwardly hugged him, saying, "Chenzhou Ferry."
Chen Zhoudu paused for a moment, then pulled her closer and hugged her even tighter. She rested her chin on his shoulder and said in a hoarse voice, "Let's... go as far as we can."
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