Chapter 46: Attacking My Heart: Have you ever been willing to do this to me?
As summer begins, the heat gets stronger day by day.
Shu Yao felt heavier.
She still took a walk every day, but she could not walk half a circle along the corridor before she felt short of breath and her legs became weak, so she had to be supported by Chuntao and Yunxiu to come back.
He simply stopped forcing himself to move, leaned back on the mat, put two soft pillows behind his back, and absentmindedly flipped through the chess manual.
Suddenly, I felt something pulling at my skirt, and I looked down.
It turned out that the big orange cat had rolled to the ground at some point, revealing its snow-white belly. Its furry head rubbed against her ankles again and again, and it made a flattering purring sound from its throat.
She smiled and reached out to scratch Daju's chin.
Daju tilted his head back, squinted his eyes and rubbed it between her fingers.
After a brief moment of tenderness, it twisted its body and leaped towards the palace gate, where it met Xiao Chengjing who had just returned from court.
Xiao Chengjing was dressed in dark casual clothes, exuding the slightly dry air of an early summer afternoon.
When the big orange dog saw him, instead of being afraid, it showed great affection. It stood up and used its front paws to play with the tassels hanging from the jade pendant on Xiao Chengjing's waist.
The ears of corn were swayed left and right by being fiddled with.
Xiao Chengjing stopped and looked down at the ball of fur at his feet.
After hesitating for a moment, he bent down somewhat awkwardly, stretched out a slender index finger, quickly tapped Daju's head, and then stood up straight, as if he had completed an unavoidable task.
Daju seemed to be intrigued by him, rubbing the black dragon-patterned fabric back and forth very hard, making a satisfied purring sound in his throat.
Finally, it raised its head, its amber pupils filled with complete dependence.
Xiao Chengjing's eyes froze for a moment, as if he was confused about how to respond to this pure enthusiasm.
After a moment, he reached out again, lightly scratched the soft hair behind the big orange's ear, and then withdrew his hand.
The wide sleeves drew a neat arc in the air.
He approached quietly and saw Shu Yao playing chess on the board. He waved his hand to dismiss the attendants, sat down opposite her, and said with a smile: "I will play a game with you, okay?"
Shu Yao's eyelashes moved slightly, and then she nodded.
She picked up a black piece and tapped it lightly on the star position.
Xiao Chengjing, holding white, followed suit, making moves quickly. He seemed fierce, but he always gave up a glimmer of hope at the critical moment.
Such exchanges resulted in an extremely rare draw.
Shu Yaoben was holding a black piece, staring at the chessboard for a moment, and finally put the black piece slowly back into the chess pot with a light clicking sound.
She raised her eyes and looked at him calmly: "Your Majesty, you give in everywhere. This chess game is boring."
Xiao Chengjing gently rubbed the white jade chess piece with his fingers with distinct knuckles, and said in a deliberately slowed-down tone, "Yaoyao's chess skills have improved recently, why should I give in to her?" There was a hint of awkward flattery in his praise, as if it had been carefully rehearsed.
Hearing this, Shu Yao felt a surge of inexplicable anger, yet also a bit amused. Suddenly, she leaned forward, a sly glint in her eyes. "Your Majesty, have you ever heard of the game of Gobang?"
"Go in a Row?" He lowered his eyes to look at the crisscrossing chessboard, his expression revealing a genuine confusion.
For him, playing chess has never been a pastime.
When he was young, he studied chess manuals all night long, just so that he could sit down and talk with the old ministers, and use this small space to lay out the context of the court.
"Never heard of it." He shook his head slightly, but his eyes followed her slender fingers involuntarily.
When Shu Yao saw him shaking his head, a hint of cunning flashed across her eyes.
After explaining the rules in a few words, she had already placed the black piece clearly on Tianyuan.
In just ten steps, she gently pushed the last piece, and the five black jades formed a straight line.
"Your Majesty, thank you for your courtesy." The corners of her lips couldn't help but rise, and the corners of her eyes were filled with a bright smile that had not been seen for a long time.
The body that was slightly leaning forward during the game now leans back easily.
He casually picked up the celadon on the table and took a sip of water, even the sound of swallowing was light and brisk.
It turns out that winning against him feels so satisfying.
At this moment, Shu Yao suddenly felt as if there was a small fish wiggling its tail gently in her stomach.
The feeling was fleeting, but extremely clear.
She couldn't help but hold her breath.
Then, holding her waist, she stood up and slowly walked over to Xiao Chengjing. She gently grasped his wrist and brought his palm towards her abdomen: "Look..."
When he touched the soft curve, his knuckles stiffened and he subconsciously wanted to pull back, but she held him firmly in place.
"Your Majesty, please wait a moment." She said softly, with a hint of expectation in her eyes.
A subtle yet powerful pulsation came from the center of his palm, and the ripple-like touch swept across his palm lines.
His body jolted violently as he was hit by something.
He suddenly looked up at her, surprise flashing in his eyes, like a shooting star in the dark night, bright but short-lived.
Perhaps she was thinking of the complicated fate that the child was destined to have in the future. Although she was smiling, her eyes gradually turned red.
The corners of her mouth were still curved, but tears rolled down uncontrollably. She quickly raised her sleeve to wipe them away: "It's a happy thing, but I can't help it..." The more she said this, the faster her tears fell.
She hated him, but at this moment, there was a connection between them that no one else could replace.
This kind of relationship is so close and so distant that it is difficult to cut off and so confusing.
Xiao Chengjing stood up suddenly.
He raised his arms, but froze when they touched her sleeves.
In the end, he was unable to hold her in his arms. He could only place his palm lightly on her thin shoulders, and could feel her slight trembling at his fingertips.
"Yaoyao..." He leaned closer, his sleeves brushing against the chess pieces on the edge of the board. His voice was hoarse with a sense of desperation. "If I had known this would happen, back in Ci'en Temple..." His Adam's apple rolled, as if he had swallowed a bitter pill. "Would you still...save me?"
At this moment, he is no longer the emperor who has the power of life and death, but more like the sickly young man in Ci'en Temple waiting for redemption.
Shu Yao lowered her eyes. It would be a lie to say that she had no regrets.
During those sleepless nights, she often thought: If I hadn't gone to Ci'en Temple, my life might have been different.
But the past is over, and the future is what she should fight for.
Right now, she must play the role of a concubine who accepts her fate and make good use of every bit of Xiao Chengjing's guilt.
When she raised her eyes again, they were sparkling with a hint of fragile sincerity: "Good and evil are determined by people. Your Majesty was just an innocent sufferer at that time." She paused deliberately, with a slight sob in her last words, "So even if I knew what happened afterwards..." Her fingertips quietly pinched into her palm, and her tone suddenly became firm, "I have no regrets." After that, she raised her face and tried to smile docilely.
At this moment, a tear fell without any warning and happened to hang on the corner of her raised lips.
It's more like crying for joy.
She didn't even wipe her tears, letting them hang brightly in front of his eyes.
Xiao Chengjing's fingertips trembled slightly, almost touching the crystal.
However, at the moment when he was about to touch her, his hand seemed to be held by an invisible thread, hanging in the air.
After a moment, he slowly closed his fingers and let the tears fall.
Shu Yao keenly caught the hesitation that flashed across his eyes.
Her mind moved slightly, and she asked softly, "Your Majesty asked me if I regretted anything." Her voice was soft, with a cautious tentativeness, "I also want to ask Your Majesty..." She paused, and a hint of sob was added to the end of her voice, "If I could go back to the past, Your Majesty...what would you do?" The last word fell softly, and she observed his reaction imperceptibly.
Upon hearing this, Xiao Chengjing's expression suddenly darkened.
He knew that if it happened again, he would probably still force her to stay by his side.
The realization made his throat tighten.
After a long silence, he whispered, "Have you ever been willing to be with me..." After saying that, he held his breath, as if waiting for the final verdict.
Shu Yao casually straightened the scattered chess pieces on the board and said frankly, "Perhaps... if Your Majesty wasn't Your Majesty, and I wasn't I, everything would be very different..." Catching a glimpse of doubt in his eyes, a faint smile played at the corners of her lips. "Your Majesty may have me in your heart, but ultimately, the country is more important. I probably also have Your Majesty in my heart..." The white jade chess piece spun half a circle between her fingers. She raised her eyes and looked into his clear gaze. "But there are other more important things."
The half-truths, half-lies, pierced his heart. Emotions surged in his eyes, a mixture of relief and loneliness. Finally, they condensed into a clarity that bordered on exhaustion.
He nodded slowly, speaking very slowly, as if weighing each word carefully: "Your words are enough. From now on, I will never force anything on you again."
Hearing this, Shu Yao just smiled faintly.
She knew very well that she would never have the freedom she wanted within the palace walls.
She took a deep breath and smiled gently again, but her tone was filled with a rare hint of coquettishness: "If it's a princess..." She tugged at the edge of his sleeve, "Your Majesty, please do not ask her to marry. You must protect her for the rest of her life."
Xiao Chengjing's Adam's apple rolled violently.
If it was a princess, there would be no need to give her to Concubine Xian, but why did she speak as if she were making arrangements for her funeral arrangements?
Perhaps because he was afraid of hearing an answer from her that he couldn't bear, he forced himself to remain calm and said, "I promise you."
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The author has something to say: I feel more timid when I am close to home. Why is it that I feel more and more frustrated as I get closer to the end? [Clown]
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