Chapter 55 055 Losing her was like having his very marrow ripped out of his bones, an unbearable pain...
The gate to Dongwan Garden opened, and Jiang An, dressed in a green dress, looked at the people gathered outside and exclaimed in surprise. When she saw Meng Qingshan, her face instantly lit up with genuine joy. She turned around and announced loudly, "Madam, the General has come to see you!"
Of the people standing outside, only Meng Qingshan was visible. Jiang An's words carried a different meaning.
In the dead of winter, the steward bowed slightly, his face covered in sweat, and dared not speak. Even the old nanny Hua Ying, who had personally taught Jiang An, was ashamed and could not lift her head. Qing Li did not care; she was unwilling to be hypocritical and force herself to say something against her conscience.
"In that case," she asked casually, "Butler, could you please lead the way and have someone summon Jiang Zhao?"
"Yes, this old servant will take care of it right away." The steward was overjoyed and hurriedly agreed.
Just then, a gust of wind rose, and snowflakes fell from the green bamboo. Qing Li turned around calmly, and as she passed Meng Qingshan, her wrist was tightly gripped. She tried to break free, but could not. Her gaze went from the tightly folded sleeve on her wrist to his face, her eyes darkening and her expression solemn.
"Wait for me at Liufeng Garden."
Qingli paused for a moment, then nodded, but unexpectedly his grip tightened, causing her skin to ache. She endured the pain without crying out, not understanding what he was so stubborn about. His mother and his maid's intentions were so obvious; he should understand their meaning. She was currently indifferent to the entanglements in the Meng family, thinking of avoiding trouble and trying not to bother him. What more could he ask of her?
Jiang An, standing at the door, had his fingers almost digging into the doorway. He opened his mouth to call out again, but sensing the anger emanating from the general, he hesitated, shrinking back in fear.
Meng Qingshan stared at her. Her pupils were clear and calm, and the matter did not cause any ripples. His mother's plan had failed, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
He will find out and resolve what his mother's intentions are after she secretly returned from the nunnery; it's not her responsibility to bear this burden.
But a battle still raged within him. He hoped she wouldn't be affected by these things, yet he also secretly wondered if her indifference meant she no longer cared, and if so, he concluded that even he was dispensable.
He knew nothing of her secret, but instinctively he knew she probably didn't need him.
His heart was in turmoil. In the past, when facing powerful and fierce alien races, he could remain calm, analyze things step by step, and quickly devise a plan. But when facing her, he worried slowly that she couldn't see him in her heart, and quickly that she would be afraid and run away like she was when they were children.
Losing her once is like having my marrow ripped out of my bones; the pain is unbearable.
He recalled it every time, and regretted it every time.
Life in Taiyuan was chaotic and turbulent, and he was constantly on the run to survive. His memories were far from pleasant. Only she was like spring rain on his barren heart, bringing forth verdant new life.
But poverty is poverty after all. Women in poor alleys, when they reach a certain age, will be married off at will, becoming wives of the poor or concubines of the rich, entirely out of his control. How could he bear to see her struggling to make ends meet or groveling before him?
She was chubby and adorable from a young age, and her bright, sparkling eyes were praised by everyone who passed by. As she grew older, thieves climbed over the wall to spy on her, and neighbors tested her with both genuine and feigned sincerity. Only by being ruthless and merciless could he gain any chance of success, and he didn't have much time left.
He needed a lot of money to appease his mother's long-standing grievances, and gambling dens were the fastest way to make money.
The gambling dens were full of all sorts of shady characters, and their methods were ruthless. The deeper he got involved, the more unpleasant the rumors became, some true and some false. Her gaze towards him also became distant and cold, and she even seemed to be hiding in fear. He suddenly realized that he had gone astray, but there was still a chance to turn things around.
It's easy to get in but hard to get out. The gambling den owner threatened him when he resigned, but he was determined to leave. The owner agreed on the surface, but in private, the gambling den colluded with playboys to ruin her reputation in the streets. He listened to the increasingly outrageous words and finally couldn't hold back.
During the exchange of blows, the fighter lost his strength, and the spoiled brat's leg broke, causing him to howl in pain.
The gambling den, along with its constables, immediately threw him into prison. The gambling den was ruthless and worried that he would expose its secrets, so they paid him to be severely tortured. He thought it was only right to pay back debts, and since he had benefited from the gambling den, this was what he should do.
We shouldn't have touched her.
It was even more wrong of his mother to listen to slander and send her away. He underestimated the evil of those people and their insatiable greed.
His vision blurred for a moment, and he stared at her intently.
Qingli sighed helplessly, not knowing what he was worried about, and could only say, "I haven't been back for a long time, so I'm going to Liufeng Garden to make some arrangements."
With her wrist loosened, Qingli regained her freedom of movement and turned to leave Dongwan Garden.
The steward followed closely behind, saying proudly, "Miss, don't worry, Jiang Zhao and the others have been properly settled. This old servant has instructed that the charcoal braziers be prepared, and it should be getting warmer by now."
Qingli smiled slightly as she listened to the butler's thoughtful words and said politely, "Thank you for your hard work, butler."
"It's not hard work, it's my duty."
The steward saw clearly that as long as he served the young lady well in the entire Meng household, he would be meritorious and blameless, and there was no need to pay so much attention to the general.
Behind her back, Granny Hua Ying curled the corners of her mouth and sighed inwardly at that old fox.
Inside the Dongwan Garden, the room was warm and cozy. Meng's mother was dressed in dark blue, with even her headband adorned with black jade. Her cheeks were sunken, and she was thin and bony. In the shadows, her eyes were gloomy, making her a sight to behold.
"And her? When she arrived at the door, she didn't even pay her respects to her foster mother. She's utterly heartless! Thank goodness I carried her back home in the heavy snow that year; otherwise, she would have been buried alive in the snow. Such ingratitude..."
Meng Qingshan sat quietly in his chair watching his mother go mad. He thought of his father, who spent years on the river, transporting goods and catching fish and shrimp in a small boat. Their life was neither rich nor poor. The cold, damp water seeped into his bones, causing his legs to ache unbearably from time to time.
One day, he fell ill and was unable to get up. Just then, a storm struck. My father was to rest for two days, but my mother refused. She angrily scolded him for being lazy and cowardly, her words more vicious than ever before. My father, not wanting to cause trouble, told her to stay home and rest. He then went to stay on the boat. But a sudden gale arose at night, capsized the small boat, and my father, with leg pain, was unable to exert any strength and drowned in the river.
When her father was carried back, she cried uncontrollably. But under the dim candlelight, her eyes shone as she counted the copper coins her father had earned, stringing them together. She knew there were many coins buried under the bed, but none of them were for her father's medical treatment.
Meng's mother covered her face and sobbed, her grief genuine. She never wanted to return to the nunnery. It was a simple and austere place, where she spent her days chanting scriptures, meditating, and eating only plain water and vegetarian food. She had lived the life of a noble lady for three years, and how could she go back to the past? She cried out, "Your father died early, and I suffered so much to raise you."
The light shining through the window frame onto Meng Qingshan's face made his expression unclear, and he narrated without any change in tone, "My father died in the autumn, and after the New Year I went to work by the river."
Meng Qingshan turned his head to the side, his indifferent expression making his mother uneasy. "When I was five years old, if I couldn't get the copper coins back, I would only have plain water to drink. You always said that the family was poor, but you never went hungry."
He was young and weak, and was often bullied. Sometimes he would run home crying and look through the crack in the window at his mother eating a small dish of food in front of her. He stared blankly at her and suddenly realized that his father's sigh was a sign of his heartbreak and helplessness, and that he was watching her play games with cold eyes for a while.
Mencius' mother opened her mouth, as if she had thought of something, her face turning red and purple. After a long while, she roared, "I am your biological mother, the kindness of giving you life is greater than the heavens, what do those things matter?"
It wasn't a big deal, and he didn't care, thinking he'd let her go. But after a while, the gloomy days passed, and every day when he came home, there was a cute and soft little sister who would take out the steamed buns she'd been hiding under the table and eagerly hand them to him. She would bring him water and a stool, her small body panting as she walked towards him.
Seeing him staring at her, she would smile shyly. The neighbor's aunt gave her a piece of candy, which she couldn't bear to eat herself, but when she put it in his mouth, her bright eyes staring at the corner of his mouth, he suddenly felt a surge of emotion in his heart, and his eyes stung with tears. He wanted her to have a good life.
This dynasty prioritizes filial piety. If he had sent her away, he would have been attacked by the censors and would never have been able to find Qingli. So everyone who was punished back then has received their retribution, but she is still living a good life.
"Back then, you gave her to that playboy simply for the five hundred taels of silver you'd give you." Meng Qingshan stared coldly, his eyes gleaming with a chilling light that wouldn't allow his mother to lie.
"How...how do you know...that's not true!"
"The gambling den owner admitted it himself, and you gave the constables fifty taels of silver to keep me locked up for a while longer." Meng Qingshan was unwilling to mention the past, as it was not a good memory for him. "There are their confessions and signatures."
The voice was calm, but contained a deep hatred, which made Meng's mother's neck tremble involuntarily, and the headache under her forehead throbbed in layers, making her brain numb.
Back then, when he and Qingli had a fierce argument, Qingli said that she was just jealous. Since Qingli was so magnanimous, she would let her have her way. But she didn't know, no, she knew that he regarded Qingli as the apple of his eye.
Meng's mother was surprised that he knew all these things. In her panic, her mind became clear. She remembered that on the day he was released from prison, he learned that Qingli had been sent away. He was worried that the suspicion would fall on her, so he made up an excuse that the other side had broken their leg and needed to use Qingli as collateral, otherwise the government would not release her.
When Qingli initially struggled and begged for help, she used his name to coerce her. At that time, her eyes were full of despair, and she must have harbored resentment afterward. He shifted the blame to the gambling den and the playboy. The playboy had his own agenda, and it was only natural that she would get some compensation for raising her all these years, which was rightfully hers.
His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked like a tiger about to pounce. He stormed into the mansion of the纨绔 (wan ku, a spoiled young master) with a knife in hand. The纨绔 was initially defiant, but the man seemed to be possessed and dragged him along to find Qing Li. The纨绔 was terrified and finally revealed that he had been taken away by an official.
Fearing that things would get out of control, Mencius' mother hurriedly advised that as long as there were clues, they should search for them slowly.
He stared at her coldly for a long time without saying a word, then picked up his knife and rushed into the snow.
When the next news came, it was from the government that he had distinguished himself on the frontier and she had become an official's wife and entered the capital.
But when did he find out about these things? Meng's mother's expression nearly crumbled; her arrogance had vanished. However, she couldn't let him know the details, so she feigned pitifulness, saying, "The winter wind in Taiyuan stung her face. She was wrapped in a small blanket, yet her face was still purple, and her breathing was very weak. But back then, the family ate..."
Thinking of what had just happened, Meng's mother changed the subject and continued, "If it weren't for me bringing her back, I don't know if she would still be alive."
Mencius' mother became assertive again when she talked about this matter. In any case, she had given birth to and raised both of them, and she was entitled to enjoy everything she had.
Meng Qingshan had his own plan in mind and asked, "What about the clothes she wore on the outside back then?"
“Of course…” Mencius’ mother suddenly realized something, her mouth tightened, her eyes lowered involuntarily, and she murmured, “So much time has passed, it must have been lost.”
Meng Qingshan did not get the information he wanted and realized that she was hiding something. His mother's words were nice, but if the clothes and blankets wrapped in them back then were not made of silk, his mother probably would not have even glanced at them.
Meng Qingshan remained silent, slowly rose, went to the corridor, and gave Jiang An a cold look. He had bought all the servants in the mansion for her, but today she had shown him disrespect, which had touched a nerve. "Since you want to stay in Dongwan Garden, then stay."
Jiang An's tense body relaxed instantly, and the corners of her mouth turned up. She adjusted the hairpin at her temple. It was a jade hairpin that the old lady had given her. It came from the same shop as the hairpin that her young lady usually wore. It was exquisite and luxurious. The old lady's personal promise had comforted her heart.
A mother is a mother, and no woman can surpass her.
"Trying to draw a tiger but ending up with a dog instead."
Jiang An froze, disregarding social hierarchy, and looked up to see his eyes filled with disgust, which instantly filled Jiang An's eyes with tears. He seemed unable to accept the meaning behind it, but then he saw his tall and broad back as he strode out of Dongwan Garden.
Leng Xue ordered, "Give the order that from today onwards, Dongwan Garden will be locked down, and no one may enter or leave."
The soldiers who followed Meng Qingshan back from the border were all wounded and unable to make a living back in their hometowns, so Meng Qingshan kept them all at his residence. He earned a considerable income and could easily support his men. These soldiers were extremely loyal to Meng Qingshan, and upon hearing this, they immediately closed and locked the door, silencing the sound of the teacups shattering inside.
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