Chapter 34: Self-love
"That's why I want you to wait here." Liu Yueli raised her pale face, the white magnolias on her temples trembling slightly as she shook her head. "If you follow her in, Madam will definitely think I'm a foxy woman, instigating you to disobey. Once I convince Madam to allow you to return to the ancestral hall, we can discuss the matter in detail."
She knew she should shed tears and show weakness, but she forced herself to put on a gentle smile: "We have to get through this."
Xie Wuqi looked at the pearl hairpin trembling in her hair, and suddenly felt that the bright white was very dazzling. Just as he was about to speak, a wisp of agarwood fragrance passed by his nose. It turned out to be the scent of Luo Zhaohan's left-behind sachet.
"Okay, go ahead. I'll wait for you here." He nodded in agreement as if possessed by a demon. After Liu Yueli walked into the Buddhist temple with her skirt lifted, he turned around and walked quickly in the opposite direction.
Inside the hall, the golden Buddha statue was three meters tall, looking down at Madam Xie who was kneeling on the cushion.
Madam Xie knelt on a lotus cushion, her rosin-soaked divination sticks shaking for an incense stick of time. Nanny Chao stood nearby, holding a warming stove. Seeing sweat dripping down her mistress's forehead, she was about to speak to her when she heard a click.
Just as the gilded bamboo stick was about to fall, a bare hand poked out from the side. Its scallion-like nails, stained with Impatiens balsamina juice, caught the stick inscribed with "Excellent."
"How dare you!" Nanny Chao's scolding exploded in the spacious Buddhist hall.
Mrs. Xie raised her eyes and saw Liu Yueli bowing gracefully, her aqua-green skirt spread out like a lotus leaf, and her ten fingers holding the sticks were three times more translucent than the white jade sticks.
She felt a sweet taste in her throat and snatched the bamboo stick away: "How dare you, a filthy thing, touch a Buddhist vessel!"
"Madam, please calm down." Liu Yueli did not retreat but moved forward, taking two steps on her knees.
"Liu-Yue-Li!"
Madam Xie squeezed out these three words from between her teeth, and with a wave of her wide sleeves, she knocked the man off balance.
The gold-lined bamboo stick holder was shaken by the impact, and three bamboo sticks rolled to the ground.
Liu Yueli stood firmly on the altar and slowly picked up the fortune stick engraved with "Kan represents water".
Amidst the rising smoke from the incense burner, she looked up into Madam Xie's fiery eyes. "People always want to use fortune sticks to ask about their fate, but Yueli believes that life is earned, not begged for."
"How dare you!" Nanny Chao hurried forward to snatch the fortune stick, but Liu Yueli dodged it nimbly.
"If Madam still wishes to punish me after hearing this, Yue Li will gladly accept the punishment." She suddenly lifted her skirt and knelt, the chill of the bluestone bricks creeping up her knees. "But Madam, please consider this: you and I both wish Wu Qi well. Why can't we work together?"
Veins bulged on the back of Madam Xie's hand as she clutched her Buddhist beads. Just as she was about to scold him, Liu Yueli suddenly changed the subject: "On the 27th of last month, the commander fined Wuqi thirty military sticks in front of the entire garrison."
The Buddhist beads clattered against the altar. Mrs. Xie's eyes flashed back to the image of her son falling during martial arts training. Her voice trembled, "Is he... badly injured?"
"The military doctor said that if it's even half an inch off, I'll injure my bones." Liu Yueli lowered her eyes and wiped away her tears. "Now my salary has been docked. I had to pawn my jade pendant the day before yesterday to get enough money for the medicine."
This was half true and half false - the jade pendant was indeed pawned, but it was used to make new clothes for her.
Madam Xie stumbled and steadied herself against Madam Chao, Dan Kou's nails digging into the old woman's flesh. She recalled the jeweled scimitar that Madam Zhang had flaunted her bastard's possessions that morning, and her chest felt like it was stuffed with a ball of waterlogged cotton.
"Madam, do you really want to see Concubine Zhang and her son so proud?" Liu Yueli suddenly took a half step closer. "If that daughter of a general from the Luo family were to marry into your family, would she be willing to serve you tea during your morning and evening visits? I'm afraid she'd whip you so hard that you'd hit her with the ancestral hall beam!"
These words hit the nail on the head for Mrs. Xie.
Incense ash rustled into the copper basin. Liu Yueli observed Madam Xie's wavering expression and struck while the iron was hot, saying, "Wuqi is your own flesh and blood. Why hurt the mother-son relationship for an outsider? He's being looked down upon in the garrison now, and he keeps muttering at night, 'If mother were here, I wouldn't be like this.'"
This last lie was told with such sincerity that Mrs. Xie pictured her son curled up on the cold couch, and tears finally rolled down her cheeks.
How could she not know that Aunt Zhang was waiting to see her laugh? The bastard had even come the other day to ask, "Brother, are you short of money?"
"Get up for a moment." Madam Xie suddenly extended her hand to support him. "Let me think about it."
As Liu Yueli stood up, holding onto the hand with the jade bracelet, she deliberately rubbed her fingertips across the other's wrist—a practice she had learned from a storybook, which said that this would bring people closer. Sure enough, Mrs. Xie's expression softened even more.
Seeing Madam Xie's expression soften, Liu Yueli's heart began to beat faster. She clutched the signature in her sleeve, took a deep breath, and took another half step forward. "What's more..."
The sandalwood incense wafting from the incense burner makes people dizzy, and the Bodhisattva statue on the shrine has its eyelids drooped as if watching the fun.
Liu Yueli swallowed her saliva, her voice trembling a little: "What's more, Madam, Luo Zhaohan and I are different people after all."
Madam Xie suddenly stopped spinning the Buddhist beads in her hand, and her slender, almond-shaped eyes squinted sideways. Liu Yueli's back instantly broke out in a cold sweat, and she gritted her teeth and finished her words, "Madam, have you read Yueli's letter? My life is in your hands. What else do you have to worry about?"
The Buddhist hall was so quiet that you could hear the sound of incense ash falling.
Nanny Chao stood in the shadows, watching the Buddhist beads in Madam Xie's hand start to spin again, and knew that the mistress was up to something.
"Think about it," Liu Yueli took advantage of the opportunity to move forward. "The eldest son is such a rare talent. Even without the Luo family's support, he will be able to rise to prominence sooner or later. But if he continues to be angry with the general, it will be a waste of money for Concubine Zhang."
With a clatter, the Buddhist beads clattered heavily against the table. Madam Xie abruptly stood up, her peacock-blue skirt sweeping across the futon. "What a sharp-tongued person!"
Liu Yueli sank to her knees, resting her forehead on the cold floor tiles. "Every word Yueli says is for Madam's benefit. Even if we take a concubine in the future, it has to be someone Madam's choice, right?"
These words struck a chord with Madam Xie. She stared at the silver hairpin in Liu Yueli's bun, and thought of Aunt Zhang's proud look on her face, with her hair full of jewels and jade, and her teeth were about to break.
Yes, it would be better to let this girl in first and hold her in our hands than to let that vixen force someone in.
"Go on." Mrs. Xie slowly sat back on the cushion.
Liu Yueli took two steps on her knees and raised her face with tears in her eyes. "The eldest master keeps complaining about you, saying he's worried about Concubine Zhang plotting against you. Yueli has an idea that might bring disgrace to Concubine Zhang's reputation!"
Before she finished speaking, a bell suddenly rang outside. Chao Ma looked up and saw the Bodhisattva's drooping brows, and she trembled with fear.
Liu Yueli didn't care about all this and whispered a few words into Mrs. Xie's ear.
Madam Xie's eyes widened, and she suddenly grabbed Liu Yueli's wrist: "Are you serious?"
"Absolutely true." Liu Yueli pressed the fortune slip into Mrs. Xie's palm. "Look, the one I just drew is a very good one."
The cinnabar-written "Shang" was a blinding red. Madam Xie stared at it for a long moment, then suddenly sneered, "Okay, I'll do as you say."
When the two walked out of the hall, the sun was already setting.
Liu Yueli pointed to the east corridor and said, "Wuqi just said to wait here." The words got stuck in her throat before she could finish them - the corridor was empty, where was the figure?
Mrs. Xie's face suddenly turned gloomy.
Liu Yueli suddenly remembered something and turned to look westward at the plum forest. A few petals were blown across the bluestone path by the wind, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.
"Madam, have you seen Miss Luo just now?" Liu Yueli's voice was tense.
"Luo Zhaohan?" Madam Xie narrowed her eyes and looked around. "She's here too? Are you saying Wuqi went to look for Luo Zhaohan?"
Before he could finish his words, he saw Liu Yueli running towards Merlin with her skirt lifted up.
The hem of her pomegranate-red skirt swept across the stone steps, startling a few sparrows. Madam Xie, supporting Nanny Chao, hurried up, her golden hairpins jingling in the twilight.
Liu Yueli's face turned pale, she pursed her lips and said nothing, then she started chasing in the direction Luo Zhaohan left.
Mrs. Xie held up the hem of her skirt and hurried forward, but after a few steps, she was supported by Nanny Chao and fell behind.
"Madam, are you really going to join forces with this girl?" Nanny Chao held her breath for a long while. Seeing that no one was around, she slapped her thigh anxiously. "This old servant thinks this girl is too cunning. She keeps talking nonsense and will get us all involved!"
Madam Xie leaned against the bluestone beside the mountain path to catch her breath, and the golden hairpin on her temples swayed twice as she shook her head: "She is just an orphan. Apart from clinging to Wuqi's affection, what else can she do? A man's heart——"
As he spoke, he wiped the sweat from the tip of his nose with a handkerchief. "It's like drawing lots in a temple. Today you draw a very good lot, but tomorrow someone else might draw the lot."
These words made Nanny Chao's heart tighten. Ahead, Liu Yueli was turning through the moonlit door, skirt in hand, looking around like she'd lost her soul. Madam Xie scoffed, "See? She worked so hard to snatch the man she'd just gotten away, and now she's afraid he'll run away. I think she shouldn't have followed Wuqi out of the house. Now she's like a frightened bird."
"But as for Concubine Zhang..." The old nanny swallowed the words back when they came to her lips. For twenty years, Zhang relied on the master's favor to make trouble for the main wife, even forcing her wife to give in.
Madam Xie suddenly clenched her handkerchief, a fierce look flashing in her eyes: "This time, we must bring down that bitch! Although the method Liu girl suggested is dangerous, it is an effective way to eradicate it." Seeing that Madam Chao was still trying to persuade her, she waved her hand and said, "Don't worry, I don't think her tricks are worth considering."
The mountain wind swept through the corridor with the sound of pine waves. On the other side, Xie Wuqi was blocking Luo Zhaohan and his servant.
Just now, he chased to the back mountain and saw Luo Zhaohan and his maid wandering in the maple forest. He deliberately stepped on a dead branch, and the "crack" sound startled Chunxi so much that she jumped up and stretched out her arms to block her own lady behind her.
"Mr. Xie, are you planning to rob us on the road?" Luo Zhaohan pulled Chunxi back, crushing two maple leaves with his embroidered shoes.
She pretended to be calm on the surface, but in her heart she had already cursed Xie Wuqi's ancestors for eight generations - in her previous life, she was deceived by this guy and her family was destroyed, and now she had to watch him act in this new life.
Xie Wuqi took two steps closer, his hands behind his back, his dark cloak sweeping across the red leaves on the ground. "Miss Luo, you've come here in all your finery to burn incense today. Isn't it to invite me to meet you?"
As he spoke, he looked at her lilac brocade dress, his eyes lingering on the pearl hairpins at her temples. "Even her hair accessories have been changed."
Chunxi was so angry that she was shaking, but Luo Zhaohan laughed out loud: "Master Xie, what you said is so unreasonable. A girl goes out to change clothes, but it is considered a sin to seduce others?"
Then he pulled the maid over and was about to leave, "Chunxi, let's go back, so as not to pollute Master Xie's eyes."
Xie Wuqi dodged and blocked the way. He had been feeling really frustrated these days—reborn and should have had the upper hand, but Luo Zhaohan seemed like a completely different person.
The snow on the plum branches fell down, and Xie Wuqi's black clothes were stained with a few pieces of red.
He reached out to catch the falling handkerchief, and when he looked up, a smile crossed his brows: "Miss Luo, what are you hiding from?"
“Bang!”
The sound of the slap startled a jackdaw from the branch. Luo Zhaohan shook his numb right hand, looked at the red mark on the man's face and sneered, "Master Xie is really good at being a dog. How dare you approach me? If it were me, I would have found a dog hole to crawl into long ago."
Xie Wuqi nudged his burning cheek with the tip of his tongue, feeling reassured. This was the Luo Zhaohan he knew. If she had any feelings for him, she would have been harsh when they met. He had just deliberately broken a dead branch to test her, and her panic didn't seem fake.
"We've long since settled our differences." Luo Zhaohan stared at the Pisces jade pendant dangling from his waist. "If you don't give way, I don't mind stretching my muscles again."
Xie Wuqi stood still, his eyes sweeping over the silver hairpin in her hair. This woman had always been stubborn. Last month, she had even sent word through her mother that she wanted to get married. Her behavior today must be a game of hard to get. Thinking of this, he deliberately took a half step forward: "I heard you cried and begged my mother to marry me?"
Luo Zhaohan suddenly laughed out loud, startling Meizhi so much that she trembled violently. "Master Xie, was he kicked off the bed by Miss Liu? Is he going hysterical from being idle?"
Xie Wuqi's face suddenly changed. Last night, Liu Yueli had indeed been angry with him about the betrothal gift, and now, feeling sore, his fists clenched in his sleeves, making a creaking sound. "Yueli and I have a bond stronger than gold, but you are the one who's more loyal."
"What's wrong with me?" Luo Zhaohan suddenly approached, the scent of cold plum blossoms wafting across his face. "Mr. Xie, are you greedy? You want Miss Liu's tenderness and kindness, but you also want the military power of my Luo family?"
Xie Wuqi's breath hitched. The faint fragrance reminded him of their wedding night in a previous life, when she had tilted her face upwards like this under the bright red candles, the rouge at the corners of her eyes brighter than plum blossoms. As his Adam's apple rolled, he suddenly caught a glimpse of the faint scar on Luo Zhaohan's collar—the one from when she'd blocked an arrow for him the previous year.
"Get out of the way." Luo Zhaohan's face suddenly turned cold.
Xie Wuqi subconsciously turned sideways, and by the time she realized what was happening, Luo Zhaohan had already brushed past her. He suddenly grabbed her wrist and said, "If you really let it go, why did you come to Xiangguo Temple today?"
"Of course I'm here to watch the show." Luo Zhaohan shook off his hand. "Madam Xie is chatting with Miss Liu in the Guanyin Hall right now, right? What do you think would happen if Miss Liu knew that you had come to meet me secretly without her knowledge?"
"How did you know Yue Li was here?" Xie Wuqi's pupils suddenly shrank. This morning, when he left the house, he had clearly instructed the driver to go through three alleys, and even his personal guards were nowhere to be found.
Luo Zhaohan smoothed the wrinkles on his sleeves and smiled meaningfully: "Master Xie, why don't you guess, is Miss Liu kneeling to serve tea or kneeling to be punished?"
Xie Wuqi's face turned pale. If Yue Li saw him carrying her to see Luo Zhaohan, he wouldn't be able to explain himself even if he opened his mouth a hundred times.
He felt a little uneasy and involuntarily glanced at the path behind him, but then he comforted himself that the purpose of his trip was just to test Luo Zhaohan.
"Yue Li and I have a deep bond that no one else can compare to. The reason I'm discussing this with you today is entirely because of our long acquaintance. I've come here specifically to advise you not to harbor any more unnecessary desires towards me."
Luo Zhaohan sneered when he heard this.
This sounds so hypocritical.
It is obvious that he cannot bear to give up Liu Yueli's lingering tenderness, but he also wants to use the power of the Luo family. He wants to get this and keep that. He is really greedy!
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