【31】As long as you don’t expect too much, you won’t be anxious or afraid.
Early November in the United States is a magical time. Not only do students just finish their mid-term transition, but everyone else also undergoes the annual ritual of switching from summer time to winter time. This program, called Daylight Savings, literally means that to align daily routines with daylight hours, the clock is set back one hour on the first Sunday of November and then back again on the second Sunday of March. This back-and-forth tradition has been around for years and has always been criticized. After all, experiencing two minor time zone adjustments while staying in the same place is not a pleasant experience. They experience this change from Saturday to Sunday, the day after midterm exams. When the clocks should jump from 1:59:59 to 2:00, they magically jump back to 1:00. For most people, this extra hour is acquired silently while they sleep, perhaps only becoming apparent when they wake up earlier than usual in the morning. But this year's event was a little different, as it coincided with the total lunar eclipse Tan Xu had mentioned. It felt like she'd never seen such a coincidence. That night, after returning home, Liang Zhiyao first asked Ye Xin how her one-on-one chat with Cheng Yan went. She briefly replied, "Not bad," without divulging any further details. But she couldn't suppress a smile; it seemed to be going smoothly. She then turned on her computer and typed the keywords into a search engine. Sure enough, she saw the astronomy website's forecast: the total lunar eclipse would begin a little after 1:00 AM and last for over an hour, but due to a time adjustment, it would still end a little after 1:00 AM. It was like falling into a time warp, adding an air of mystery and romance. She thought that if she had known this earlier, perhaps even without Tan Xu's invitation, she would have gone upstairs to take a look. After all, not every opportunity was so fortuitous that she could use the hour she'd borrowed in advance next March for such an artistic endeavor. But then came the next headache. Would it be inappropriate to simply wish him a happy birthday? But she didn't have the money for a gift, and with the suddenness of the event, she didn't have the time to choose. When people really want to accomplish something, there are always more solutions than problems. Liang Zhiyao racked his brains, then ran to the kitchen, rummaging through drawers and cabinets. After a long time, he finally found a bottle of red wine gathering dust in a corner. He then snatched a red ribbon from a bag he'd left behind from some shopping trip and tied a bow around the neck of the bottle. It looked very similar...
Early November in the United States is a magical time. Not only have students just completed the mid-term tribulation, but everyone has to go through the annual routine - switching from daylight saving time to winter time.
The full name of this project is Daylight Savings. Literally, in order to align daily routines with daylight hours as much as possible, the time will be set back one hour on the first Sunday of November every year; and on the second Sunday of March of the following year, it will be set back another hour.
This tradition of going back and forth has been going on for many years and has always been criticized. After all, it is not a very pleasant experience for people to stay in the same place but experience two slight time difference adjustments every year.
They will experience this change from Saturday to Sunday, the day after the midterm exams. When the clock should jump from 1:59:59 to 2 o'clock, it will magically go back to 1 o'clock.
For most people, this extra hour is gained silently during sleep, and perhaps only when you find yourself waking up earlier than usual in the morning will you feel there is a trace of it.
But this moment this year is a little different, because it coincides with the time of the total lunar eclipse mentioned by Tan Xu, which feels like a coincidence.
After returning home that night, Liang Zhiyao first asked Ye Xin how she felt about the one-on-one chat with Cheng Yan. The other party said concisely that it was "not bad" and did not reveal any more details. However, he could not suppress the smile on his face, and it seemed that the progress was smooth.
Then she turned on her computer and entered the keywords into the search engine. Sure enough, she saw the forecast on the astronomical website - the total lunar eclipse began at around 1:00 a.m. and lasted for more than an hour, but due to time adjustments, it still ended at around 1:00 a.m. It was like falling into a time tunnel, adding a bit of mystery and romance.
She thought that if she had known the news earlier, she might have gone upstairs alone even without Tan Xu's invitation. After all, it wasn't always so fortuitous that she could use the hour she borrowed in advance in March of next year to do something so artistic.
But the next headache came one after another.
Wouldn't it be inappropriate to simply wish him a happy birthday? But she really didn't have the money to buy a gift, and since it was so sudden, she didn't even have the time to choose one.
When people really want to accomplish something, there are always more solutions than problems. Liang Zhiyao racked his brains and ran to the kitchen to search through the drawers. After a long time, he finally found a bottle of red wine gathering dust in a corner. He then snatched a red ribbon from a bag he'd left behind from some shopping trip and tied it into a bow around the neck of the bottle, making it look like the real deal.
It was a splurge she'd made last semester, before the financial crisis. She'd gone to a newly opened high-end supermarket with a few seniors and borrowed their IDs to buy a pricey bottle of red wine. She'd originally planned to have a drink with Ye Xin at home someday, but she'd quickly forgotten about the bottle and never thought about it again.
Maybe it was because she had a couple of drinks recently that she finally remembered this incident and now she just happened to use it to save the situation.
They agreed to meet on the rooftop of the apartment around 1 a.m. On Saturday night, to kill time, Liang Zhiyao simply found a movie from his playlist that he had wanted to watch for a long time but had never taken action. He started playing it at 11 a.m. and it lasted exactly 1 hour and 45 minutes.
She hadn't expected this art film, despite its high rating, to be so lyrical and atmospheric that it lacked much drama. She felt a bit tired several times, almost falling asleep under the control of her biological clock, and only managed to force herself through the entire film.
Even when Liang Zhiyao walked to the 7th floor with the red wine and two high-heeled glasses, his steps were still a little shaky due to sleepiness.
It was already chilly in the middle of November, but thankfully, the top floor had floor-to-ceiling windows, allowing me to enjoy the expansive night view without having to go outside to face the cold draft. The total lunar eclipse hadn't yet begun, but it was already well into its first waning phase, with the shadow covering most of the full moon, leaving only a tiny crescent unengulfed.
Tan Xu had already arrived and was sitting on the sofa in front of the floor-to-ceiling window waiting. Seeing that she was holding so many things in her hands, he looked a little surprised.
It was already past midnight, and it was the second day. She raised the red wine in her hand and said, "Happy birthday, you can't be empty-handed."
"Thank you," he smiled as he took the bottle of red wine and placed it on the small coffee table next to the sofa. Liang Zhiyao then noticed that there were already two cocktails there, a beautiful orange color with a slight red and yellow gradient.
"Did you mix the drinks and bring them up?"
"Yeah, I tried the Tequila Sunrise this time." He nodded. "Didn't you say that last time? When I'm stressed, besides running, I also want to travel and get drunk."
It seems like she had a pretty good experience on that road trip before, so she could try getting drunk again.
Liang Zhiyao felt as if his heart was hit lightly.
Tan Xu's eyes were calm, and he made no secret of the fact that he had taken her casual remark to heart. This made her feel at a loss for words, and she was caught off guard by his unexpected bluntness.
"I just didn't expect you to bring wine," he shrugged. "I should have known not to show off my mediocre skills."
"...But I've got the corkscrew and the goblet," she said helplessly, coming to her senses. "How about we drink the cocktail you brought first, and then have a little wine? You can take the rest home and drink it slowly."
"You sound so arrogant. Have you ever been drunk?"
"No," she sat down next to him, twisted the cork out with a bottle opener, and filled a small glass of red wine into the goblet. "This one needs to simmer for a while, so you should drink yours first."
She took a few sips of the Tequila Sunrise before continuing her answer. "I've never been drunk. Maybe it's because I've been so heavily influenced by movies and TV shows. I'm always afraid that if I get drunk I'll actually become babbling and acting ridiculously. So, whether I'm entertaining or hanging out with friends, I stop as soon as I feel tipsy."
"So now you're not afraid of getting drunk, and you dare to mix the two kinds of wine?"
"It's different in my own territory. If I feel a little dizzy, I can always go downstairs and go home." After she finished speaking, she threw the question back: "What about you? Have you ever been drunk?"
He nodded: "Once, I think when I was sixteen or seventeen."
"So young?" she exclaimed. "Shouldn't she still be in high school?"
He laughed and said, "It's a long story. At that time, I had just transferred from China to the United States to attend high school. Although I attended a bilingual school in China, I was definitely not as good as native speakers when communicating. I was the only Asian in the entire class who was not born in the United States. Maybe it was because I read too much strange news before coming here. My parents were okay, but the elderly in my family were always worried that I would be bullied here."
"Uh," she couldn't help but ask, "With your looks, you won't be bullied anywhere, right?"
Although movies and TV shows often depict bullying caused by jealousy of beauty or strength, there is a certain degree of artistic processing. In reality, those who suffer the most are often the weak in various senses. This is a cruel reality.
Tan Xu is a far cry from the often frail, effeminate Asian stereotypes that Americans often associate with him. He's so tall now, and he likely wasn't short in high school. He has broad shoulders and long legs, with deep, three-dimensional features. His physique isn't skinny, but rather has pronounced muscle definition. No matter how you look at it, he hardly seems like a target for school bullying.
"Hmm..." He raised an eyebrow: "If you want to compliment me on my height and handsomeness, you can actually say it directly."
“…”
Perhaps it was because they had been acting as "study partners" for several days that Tan Xu's image had been transformed into a serious and elite one. Liang Zhiyao rarely saw him show the frivolous and casual side he had when they first met, and often forgot that he had this kind of bad taste in teasing people.
At this moment, he couldn't help but regret having said too much, so he looked at his nose and drank silently, not daring to speak nonsense anymore.
Seeing her frustrated, he put on a cheerful expression and continued, "...Anyway, I signed up for the basketball team. After all, I loved playing basketball back home, and American campuses tend to appreciate students with athletic talent. But things didn't go particularly smoothly. Although my height was barely enough, the basketball team was full of tall people, and they cared more about whether you could hold your own in intense physical confrontations."
"Did you join later?" she asked curiously.
"At first, I was rejected and even teased for being too fragile and easily knocked over. Then, after working out five days a week for six months to improve my fitness, I finally got in," he said with a faint smile. "I even played for more than ten minutes near the end of my freshman year in a match against another school, which we won. During the celebration, a group of minors ignored age restrictions and got drunk. That atmosphere was very contagious, so I got drunk too. Really drunk."
This story seemed quite different from the wonderful high school experience he'd shared with casual acquaintances last night. Those stories didn't include Tan Xu himself; they were mostly just anecdotes from the perspective of an observer. Today's story, on the other hand, was purely about his own experiences, even requiring him to be frank about his former weakness.
This made Liang Zhiyao feel that there was probably something different when he faced himself.
If this is also some kind of intentional routine, then his skills are a bit too advanced.
She asked, "So, do people really black out when they're extremely drunk? I used to suspect it was all exaggerated for the sake of the plot in TV dramas."
He was about to say something, but quickly stopped and gave her a sly smile: "I won't tell you."
"ha?"
"Whether I tell you it's true or not, it's just my experience." He raised his glass and clinked it with hers, making a crisp sound. "Why don't you take advantage of this rare opportunity and experience it for yourself?"
Liang Zhiyao fully suspected that the "friend" image that had changed him during this period might just be another personality disguised by Tan Xu. Under the influence of alcohol, he turned back into the stereotypical financial man he first knew. He spoke a little slickly, had a slightly bad personality, and liked to make some harmless jokes, making it difficult for people to tell which one was true and which one was false.
But perhaps because of the alcohol, or because his frankness brought them closer, she even felt that Tan Xu wasn't that annoying.
"No matter what, I still admire you," Liang Zhiyao said. "Going to a foreign country to study in high school is quite different from studying in college. Before I came to the United States, I couldn't sleep much the night before my flight. I was worried about the difficulty of the schoolwork, my English wasn't good enough, and I was really nervous about everything. What were you thinking back then? Weren't you anxious or afraid?"
"It seemed okay," he recalls. "Of course, there was no other choice except to immigrate with my parents, but I didn't really have any expectations about how I would live my life. It seemed like I could live anywhere and however I wanted."
She lamented, "Is this mentality innate? Are there any tricks I can work on?"
He looked surprised: "Why, are you envious?"
"A little bit," Liang Zhiyao nodded. "Your personality is now commonly known as 'superb relaxation', and it's quite popular."
Tan Xu, however, displayed a rather complicated expression: "It's actually very simple. As long as you don't have too many expectations, you won't be anxious or afraid. But do you really think that not having high expectations of life is a good thing?"
She was stunned. "I thought it was because I was strong enough inside that I could handle everything calmly?"
"That's okay..." He laughed, "You really are the kind of kid who has been spoiled since childhood."
She almost asked back quickly, "Isn't it you?", but when she thought about what he said last night about being stood up by his parents more than once, she felt that the answer was obvious, and bringing it up again might be like exposing someone's scars.
"You just asked how this mentality developed. I haven't really thought about it too deeply in the past, but if I had to attribute it, it might be because I've always assumed since I was a child that many things won't go the way I want, so I've long been accustomed to keeping my expectations low."
"For example, I haven't traveled much with my parents. They prioritize work and rarely take breaks. Like you mentioned last time, playing billiards at the B&B on a rainy day out, if it were my parents, they would have canceled the trip the moment they saw the bad weather forecast and said they'd find another opportunity."
He was telling the truth, but it seemed like he was trying to gain sympathy. Seeing her thoughtful expression, he added, "Don't get me wrong—my childhood wasn't miserable at all. At best, I was relatively independent."
"There's no misunderstanding," she smiled. "I just thought of a very magical possibility."
"Tell me about it?"
"I wonder if my current overly conservative and fearful of uncertainty style is caused by my overly happy childhood?"
Author's Note
Reversible light path
author
07-29
After all this drinking, I will definitely work hard to make progress -w- But if we really want to be together, we should wait for more than 40 chapters. I still prefer to simmer it slowly~
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