【35】A man who is so knowledgeable about dysmenorrhea is either a friend of women or has a rich and experienced love life.
Liang Zhiyao quickly gave up fighting with Tan Xu for the right to treat the guests. It was not that she felt that his bandit logic made sense, but the pain in her lower abdomen became more and more intense, making it difficult for her to care about other things. She initially tried to pretend that everything was normal, thinking about going home quickly. However, after leaving the restaurant, it took another two minutes to walk back to the car. The cold wind outside made the abdominal pain even more unbearable. She could not help but squat on the side of the road with her knees hugged. Tan Xu quickly noticed that she had not caught up and returned to her side. "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" Liang Zhiyao did not say anything. She did not have any strong menstrual shame, but she felt that telling him would not be of much use and would only add to the embarrassment. But seeing her huddled up in this position, biting her lower lip and looking pale, Tan Xu had a suspicion: "Are you on your period?" "...Yeah." "Is it serious? Do you have any painkillers?" "No..." Her voice trembled. "Isn't usually in this much pain, I don't know why this time." "Can you hold on? Let's go back to the car." He reached out to support her. "It's too cold outside. Go sit in the car first, then go to the pharmacy." His hands were large, spread out in front of her, and her slender knuckles filled her vision. When the body is in pain, even shyness is forgotten. Liang Zhiyao took Tan Xu's hand without hesitation, supported herself to stand, and continued walking with him. When they returned to the car, sweat was beading on her forehead from the pain, and she sat in the passenger seat, still in that huddled position. Whether it was psychological comfort or some scientific basis, this made her feel a little more comfortable. Tan Xu turned on the air conditioner and heated seats, then quickly drove to two locations. The restaurant she chose was in Downtown. Apart from the difficulty in finding parking, you could buy anything within a mile. The pain was so intense that Liang Zhiyao only vaguely knew that Tan Xu would drive a few steps and then stop. After going out, he would quickly come back and immediately drive to the next place. She didn't even have the energy to ask him "What are you doing?" She could only bite her lips tightly, hug her knees and tremble in the seat. She found that dysmenorrhea was different from other pains. Other pains, whether external or internal, always had a fixed location, but this kind of pain could spread from the lower abdomen to other places, making her feel as if all her strength had been drained, and there was no place on her body that felt good. Liang Zhiyao would think of many strange things to divert her attention when she was sick from childhood to adulthood. For example, everyone says that people who have experienced a lot of pain will be particularly successful, and...
Liang Zhiyao quickly gave up competing with Tan Xu for the right to treat everyone. It was not because she thought his bandit logic made sense, but the pain in her lower abdomen became more and more intense, making it difficult for her to care about other things.
She initially tried to act normal, thinking she'd hurry home. However, after leaving the restaurant, she still had to walk two minutes to get back to the car. The cold wind outside made the stomach ache even more unbearable, and she couldn't help but squat on the side of the road, hugging her knees.
Tan Xu quickly realized that she had not caught up with him and turned back to her.
"What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
Liang Zhiyao didn't say anything. She didn't have any strong shame about her menstruation, but she felt that telling him would be of little use and would only add to the embarrassment.
But seeing her squatting in this curled-up position, biting her lower lip and looking pale, Tan Xu had a guess in his mind: "Is it her menstrual period?"
"……Um."
"Is it serious? Do you have any painkillers with you?"
"There's no medicine..." Her voice trembled a little as she spoke, "I'm not usually in this much pain. I don't know why this time."
"Can you still hold on? Let's go back to the car first." He reached out to support her, "It's too cold outside. Let's sit in the car first, and then go to the pharmacy."
His hands were large, spread out before her, and her vision flooded with the sight of his long knuckles.
Once the body feels uncomfortable, even the shyness is forgotten. Liang Zhiyao took Tan Xu's hand without hesitation, supported himself and stood up, and continued walking forward with him.
When she got back to the car, sweat was oozing from her forehead in pain, and she continued to curl up in the passenger seat. She didn't know if it was psychological comfort or some scientific basis, but it made her feel a little more comfortable.
Tan Xu turned on the air conditioning and heated seats, then quickly drove to two different locations. The restaurant she chose was in Downtown. Parking was a little hard to find, but you could buy anything within a mile.
The pain was so intense that Liang Zhiyao only vaguely knew that Tan Xu drove a few steps and then stopped, went out and came back quickly, and immediately drove to the next place. He didn't even have the energy to ask him "What are you doing?". He could only bite his lips tightly, hug his knees and tremble in the seat.
She discovered that dysmenorrhea was different from other pains. Other pains, whether caused by external or internal injuries, always had a fixed location, but this pain could spread from the lower abdomen to other places, making her feel as if all her strength had been drained, and there was no place in her body that felt good.
Liang Zhiyao had always thought of strange things to distract herself from her illnesses, from childhood on. For example, they say that those who experience much pain are particularly successful, and there are even famous sayings like "Heaven will bestow great responsibilities on those who are capable of them" to support this. So, was her current suffering a sign of her accumulating capital to become even more powerful?
But later, another saying became popular: "Pain itself is meaningless, and suffering is not worth celebrating." She comforted herself by thinking that at least she had exercised her subjective initiative, and that perhaps the meaning was in the thought itself.
For example, she can easily associate it with her own name.
When you're feeling unwell, you realize two things with remarkable clarity. One is that nothing else in this world matters except your health. She couldn't believe how she'd taken that state for granted when everything was normal. Only after losing it did she realize how precious good health was. How foolish!
Another thing is that, in this world, you really are the only person you can rely on. You can share your inner pain with others, seeking a vague sense of empathy, but you can't do anything about your physical pain; you can only endure it silently, with no one else to share your burdens.
The pain of childbirth is definitely a hundred times more intense than dysmenorrhea. Every time this happens, she feels that she has achieved a kind of empathy with her mother who gave birth to her alone without her father's company many years ago, across time and space. She also understands why she based her name on such a somewhat pessimistic argument.
Liang Zhiyao endured the pain in her mind as she continued to think about it. After a few minutes, she saw Tan Xu coming back from outside, exhausted, carrying a few bags.
He handed her a bottle of water first, then took out two bottles of painkillers: "Which one do you take? Advil or Tylenol."
She was confused and asked him in a trembling voice, "What's the difference?"
"Advil is ibuprofen, so it should last longer, but it's slower to work," he said. "If you're already in a lot of pain, ibuprofen might not be enough. It's better to take Tylenol, which is acetaminophen. It acts directly on the central nervous system and takes effect within half an hour."
She was stunned, wondering if he had just Googled the information or asked the pharmacy staff. How could he know so much and make such a decisive decision? But she was also moved by his professional demeanor and couldn't help but want to trust and obey him.
After taking the medicine, Tan Xu comically took out a hot water bottle and said, "And this, do you want to stick it on your stomach?"
"...Okay," Liang Zhiyao took it from him and felt the warm touch, which made him feel even more magical. "Did you buy the hot water bottle at the pharmacy together? But where does the hot water inside come from?"
He laughed, "I went back to the restaurant and asked their kitchen for some boiling water to fill it."
...Is this also possible?
On the one hand, she marveled at his cleverness, but on the other hand, she felt that such an operation was not something that could be done just by thinking of it, but also required thick skin, which was a bit difficult to achieve for someone with social anxiety.
The heat applied to her lower abdomen did indeed make her feel better, perhaps because the heat had somewhat numbed the pain. Tan Xu then turned on the music in the car, letting her listen to some music to distract herself.
"Aren't you driving?" she asked.
"Let's wait until you feel better, and then drive back."
I don’t know if it’s because Liang Zhiyao had never taken this kind of painkillers before, but the effect took effect faster than expected. After about twenty minutes, the suffocating pain began to dissipate.
Drug abuse in the US is not news. Pain management is also based on generous dosages, with standard painkillers and cold medicines being stronger than those in China. Now that the pain is gone, the effects of the medication are still lingering, and she feels as if she's in a trance, even a sense of happiness after having survived.
"I seem to be fine now... I didn't expect it to heal so quickly." She slowly straightened up and said to Tan Xu, "Thank you."
She obviously wasn't someone who liked to be bothered or dependent on others, but by some strange coincidence, she was often forced to show her vulnerability in front of him. It wasn't shameful or embarrassing, but she was always uncomfortable, as if her hidden side had been seen too many times, and sometimes it was difficult for her to be tough again.
"That's good," Tan Xu breathed a sigh of relief. "You said you don't usually feel much pain, right?"
"Well... usually it's just back pain and weakness. I don't know why today."
"I just thought about it, it might be related to dinner," he said, "Don't drink alcohol during your period, and don't eat seafood during the first two days."
She had a glass of champagne, fried calamari for starter, and seafood pasta for main. This restaurant was quite conscientious, not using leftovers to fool customers, and the seafood portions were generous, and she almost finished it all.
"Are these two things off?" Liang Zhiyao had never heard of this theory before. "I thought drinking alcohol would warm the body. I've heard that you can't eat ice during menstruation, but is seafood also off?"
"Well, all of these may aggravate the discomfort. But it's not necessarily because of what you eat. If you've been under a lot of stress recently, anxiety can also cause dysmenorrhea."
She didn't know what to say.
At this moment, the pain ended, my rationality returned, and my thoughts on many things became clear again.
As a straight man, Tan Xu's understanding of these things is far too profound, perhaps even more than many women. This level of knowledge and quick response is unlikely to come from Google, and there must be a story behind it.
A man so knowledgeable about dysmenorrhea must either be a close friend of the opposite sex, or have a rich and varied romantic history. He was clearly more likely to be the latter.
Tan Xu didn't know where her thoughts had drifted to, so he added, "And you seem to have lost weight recently compared to September. You're not short, but you look so light and frail. How much do you weigh? About 110 pounds?"
Liang Zhiyao's expression became even more subtle now.
Seeing that she was about to speak but hesitated, he stopped talking: "What's wrong?"
She glanced at Tan Xu and tried to speak in a natural tone: "Um... I'm doing reasoning questions."
"What reasoning?"
"Is it possible that you...had an ex-girlfriend who suffered from period cramps?" she asked. "You also dated a girl who was about my height."
Of course, it's also possible that these two belong to the same person.
He is probably close to 186 or 187 cm tall. Normally, he would not have such a concrete concept of the weight of a girl who is over 1.7 meters tall. He was able to blurt it out without thinking and guessed it so accurately.
Liang Zhiyao regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.
How could he just say what he was thinking? The sense of boundaries she was so proud of was gone. This speculation already had the connotation of testing his privacy, and it had already crossed the line.
But the words have been asked and there is no way to take them back.
Tan Xu suddenly realized that he was too concerned and hadn't noticed he was stepping into a minefield while operating. She was too perceptive, and by the time he realized it, it was too late.
He couldn't respond directly to Liang Zhiyao's question, as that would probably make things worse. But facing this rare moment when she broke the boundaries, he felt paradoxically happy, wondering if she cared about him as much as he did.
If that was the case, he particularly wanted to cherish this moment and didn't want to just brush it off or change the subject or just casually answer her.
Seeing Tan Xu's silence, Liang Zhiyao felt even more embarrassed and awkwardly tried to excuse himself: "Sorry, I was just joking. I didn't mean to pry into your privacy. Don't mind it."
"I'll take care of it." He blurted out.
Tan Xu looked into her eyes and smiled bitterly. "I wasn't thinking too much just now. I just wanted you to get better soon, and I didn't realize I said too much. If this made you think of something and made you feel unhappy, it's my fault."
His sincere response and apology even though he had done nothing wrong made Liang Zhiyao feel ashamed.
Honestly, not only did she have no stance, she'd even been thinking for the past few days about whether to quietly distance herself from him after this meal. Now that the group project was over, she probably shouldn't go to the library anymore.
Being cared for and looked after was clearly a very happy thing, and Tan Xu's experience was effective, which was why she recovered so quickly. But at the same time, she had to face more directly the emotional history behind this attentiveness and consideration.
Liang Zhiyao had always believed that the prerequisite for liking someone was understanding them, so he couldn't quite understand the idea of falling head over heels in love at first sight. After discussing this topic with Ye Xin last time, he became even more convinced of this.
Recently, she thought she had a much deeper understanding of Tan Xu, but now she felt that it was still too little.
When I first met him, I thought he was frivolous in his words and behavior. But after spending some time with him, I couldn't help but change my mind. I felt that he was not so superficial. I could even say that he was wiser and more mature than boys his age, and that he might be serious about relationships.
Now she suddenly realized that people are very complicated after all. One person's deep affection may just be sentimentality to another person. She is not the first person to feel the strength and tenderness of Tan Xu, and she may not be the last.
Regarding his previous relationships, she couldn't even tell whether she hoped he was just trying to relieve his loneliness or if he had really given his heart to her.
If you're not sure you can handle this asymmetry of experience and won't mess everything up out of anxiety and insecurity, wouldn't it be better not to take the first step in the first place?
Complex thoughts swirled in my mind, but it only took a few seconds.
"Why apologize?" She finally said, as if she hadn't understood his hidden meaning. "Actually, having a friend like you who knows so much is quite an advantage, haha."
“…Is that so?” Tan Xu couldn’t tell what he felt.
When he heard Liang Zhiyao's dry laugh and teasing, he instantly realized that he must have been pushed away again.
He wasn't one to rush things. He was usually very patient in achieving his goals, and he enjoyed the pleasure of delayed gratification. He rarely did anything he wasn't sure of. Moreover, after understanding her personality, he understood that this matter couldn't be rushed, and that he could only approach it slowly.
But today he was unusually impatient and almost lost control twice, almost wanting to formally confess his feelings to her.
The first time was in the restaurant. After finishing his suggestive and cryptic talk about ordering food, he wondered if he'd been too roundabout and suddenly felt the urge to be direct and honest. But when she hesitated for a long time and finally opened her mouth to respond, he couldn't help but abruptly interrupt and change the subject.
I am afraid of hearing rejection or evasion.
To be honest, she had already politely rejected him twice, on the terrace of Liu Siyan's house and in the meeting room for the group discussion. But if she was rejected again in this relationship, there would probably be no room for maneuver.
He had never considered actually asking her to treat him. This was partly due to the objective economic situation, but mainly because he was worried that the connection he had forced between them would end completely with the repayment of the favor. If that were the case, he would rather be selfish, even forceful, and let her owe him more and more.
The second time was just now, when Liang Zhiyao brought up the taboo topic of "ex-girlfriend". In addition to feeling regretful, he actually felt secretly delighted. He thought that besides her keen perception, it was rare for her to ask such a straightforward question, and whether it also implied some subtle jealousy.
Only now did he realize that if Liang Zhiyao's conclusion was to retreat, then he would rather not have such an opportunity to give her the opportunity to prove whether she cared about these things.
In the past, Tan Xu had thought love wasn't that complicated. He'd always believed in screening over change. If two people showed signs of mutual affection after a brief encounter, they'd give it a try. If it worked, they'd continue; if it didn't, they'd break up. Occasionally, though, he'd discover that his usual flirting tactics could make a superficial attraction seem more special, creating a genuinely moving feeling.
When you truly love someone to the point of obsession, you realize that many things aren't as easy as they seem. She has many concerns, and he has complex considerations as well. Sometimes he wonders if the fact that he's been in several relationships that didn't last long means he's not good at managing intimate relationships.
He was used to lowering his expectations for most things in life, and never forced anything in love. He took an attitude of parting ways amicably, which might be an unhealthy but effective self-protection mechanism. But for her, he always had an irrepressible desire.
He wanted to see her almost impeccable sense of boundaries break only for him, allowing him to get close and indulge his intrusion. If he was a little greedy, he wanted her gentle eyes to stay only on him, and even change because of his love.
He wasn't one to try to reshape his partner, preferring to keep both of them true to themselves. He just had a hunch that she might have been more adventurous and unrestrained before her misfortune. So Tan Xu wanted to know how to get her back into that rhythm, living a relaxed and free life again.
This overly complex and intense desire for another person is also unfamiliar to him and can be equally frightening at times.
Author's Note
Reversible light path
author
08-05
I can understand Zhiyao's reaction, right? qwq In fact, both of them have their own entanglements and personality flaws. This article will not avoid the male protagonist's past emotional experience, which is a very important part of the female protagonist's process of thinking about everything and facing her own heart.
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