【38】Study, Sleep, Socialize, the Impossible Triangle for College Students
Overnight, Liang Zhiyao made himself very busy. The singing competition that Ye Xin participated in ushered in the finals, and she finally won fifth place. On the day of the live broadcast, Liang Zhiyao did not invite Tan Xu again, but went alone to support his friend. He also bought a large bouquet of flowers and gave it to her on the stage during the award ceremony. However, she saw Cheng Yan, who was also holding flowers, at the scene. She had a hunch that their relationship must have become closer. When asked later, Ye Xin also smiled and said that the date experience was good. It was probably in the ambiguous stage and she was ready to continue close contact. On the other hand, the school approved her CPT application. Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, she started to intern at the office of the technology company in the city, and sometimes she had to rush back to attend classes in the afternoon. Adding the commuting time, it was no easier than when she was working part-time in a coffee shop before. Tan Xu's internship was scheduled on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. He once sent a WeChat message to ask if she needed a ride on the two days that overlapped. But Liang Zhiyao simply declined the offer, saying it wasn't that convenient. Instead, she picked up a second-hand transit card she'd been selling at a 20% discount from an alumnus in a group chat, and took the light rail to commute between work and school every day. Furthermore, they suddenly stopped seeing each other much at school. Every time Tan Xu asked if she wanted to go to the library, Liang Zhiyao would find various excuses, sometimes simply saying, "No." He might have realized she was just making excuses, but whether he noticed or not was irrelevant. Liang Zhiyao was certain that Tan Xu, with his "relaxed" nature, wasn't the type to persevere with invitations after repeated rejections. Sure enough, after a few repetitions, he went silent on WeChat. Soon, their interactions returned to the beginning of the semester, limited to the Human-Computer Interaction class they took together every Friday afternoon. The group project was already complete, and she always arrived just before class, then walked out of the classroom without looking back, never speaking to him at all. Everything fell back into a familiar, if uninteresting, routine for Liang Zhiyao. Her onboarding went quite smoothly. Her boss was a Frenchwoman named Sophia, and her team included engineers of various ethnicities, including Indians, Chinese, and Hispanics. The non-native speakers outnumbered the native speakers. After starting, Liang Zhiyao found her spoken English more than adequate, and she wasn't as nervous about the language as she had been beforehand. The first week wasn't particularly structured; she just sat in on meetings and learned about the team's current major features. Starting next week, things would gradually improve...
Overnight, Liang Zhiyao made himself very busy.
The singing competition Ye Xin had participated in had reached its finals, and she ultimately came in fifth place. On the day of the live broadcast, Liang Zhiyao didn't invite Tan Xu back, but went alone to support his friend. He even bought a large bouquet of flowers and brought it to her on stage during the awards ceremony.
Seeing Cheng Yan, who was also holding flowers, at the scene, she had a hunch that their relationship must have become closer. When asked about it later, Ye Xin smiled and said that the date was a good experience and that they were probably entering the ambiguous stage and were ready to continue close contact.
On the other hand, the school approved her CPT application, and she began interning at the tech company's downtown office every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, sometimes rushing back to attend classes in the afternoon. Adding the commuting time, her work schedule was no easier than her previous part-time job at a coffee shop.
Tan Xu's internship was scheduled for Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, and she had once sent a WeChat message asking if she needed a ride on those days. But Liang Zhiyao said it wasn't that convenient and simply declined the offer. Instead, she picked up a second-hand transit card from alumni in a group chat, offering a 20% discount, and took the light rail to commute between work and school every day.
Besides that, they suddenly stopped seeing each other at school. Every time Tan Xu asked her if she wanted to go to the library, Liang Zhiyao would find various excuses to refuse, or sometimes she would simply say "No" without any explanation.
He might have realized she was just making excuses, but whether he noticed or not was irrelevant. Liang Zhiyao was certain that Tan Xu, like him, was "relaxed" and not the type to persevere in asking her out after repeated rejections. Sure enough, after a few repetitions, he also went silent on WeChat.
Soon, their interactions returned to the beginning of the semester, with only the human-computer interaction class they took together every Friday afternoon.
The group assignment was completely finished, but she always rushed in just when the class was about to start, and walked out of the classroom without looking back after class, without saying anything to him from beginning to end.
Everything returned to the familiar track for Liang Zhiyao, a daily routine that was boring but reassuring.
Her onboarding went quite smoothly. Her boss was a Frenchwoman named Sophia, and her team included engineers of various ethnicities, including Indian, Chinese, and Hispanic. The non-native speakers outnumbered the native speakers. After joining, Liang Zhiyao found her spoken English more than adequate, and she wasn't as nervous about the language as she had been beforehand.
There is no specific work in the first week. I just attend various meetings and learn about the features that the group is currently working on. I will gradually start submitting code starting from next week.
She finally met the senior student named Alicia who posted the recruitment status on LinkedIn. Her Chinese name was Meng Zijing. She was a girl who liked to wear her hair in a bun and had a strong aura. She spoke very fast and used a lot of gestures and rich expressions. Because she and the new intern Liang Zhiyao graduated from the same school, she was naturally assigned as her mentor.
On their first day, the two of them went to a reimbursable lunch across from the company, a treat for Liang Zhiyao. Dining privately, they naturally struck up a conversation in Chinese.
"So you and Tan Xu entered school in the same year," Meng Zijing said. "I was already a senior when he was a freshman. I don't really know anyone from your class, and I've forgotten the names of those I did know. But I still have some impression of him."
She nodded: "He has always been very sociable and often participates in activities."
"It's not just because of that," the senior student joked, "it's mainly because he's handsome, which makes people remember him longer. I think a girl from my class even asked for his contact information, saying she wanted to get to know him, but I haven't heard anything about what happened next."
Liang Zhiyao echoed with an "Oh", but he couldn't describe what he felt in his heart.
The senior student continued, "By the way, have you ever heard of the '3S' theory?"
"What is that?"
"Just like the impossible triangle of 'rich, handsome, and loyal' for men, the '3S' is the impossible triangle for college students. It means you can't do well in all three areas simultaneously: study, socialize, and sleep. You have to sacrifice at least one. If you're too greedy, you might end up doing poorly in all three," she said with a wink. "When we were in school, my boyfriend and I both sacrificed socialize. We're not very social anyway, we're both pretty much homebodies. But even so, I still find it difficult to achieve both good grades and good sleep."
"My choice is probably similar to yours," Liang Zhiyao said with a smile. "Given the hardcore nature of our school's CS program, it's really difficult to master these two Ss."
"Right," she nodded in agreement. "But then again, Tan Xu is probably one of the few people I've met who can handle all three. He seems a bit abnormal. Of course, it could also be that he secretly doesn't get much sleep—I think he even took a minor in our major? And he often goes out to play. Oh, I really envy people who are naturally energetic."
The topic finally came full circle, returning to him. Perhaps Meng Zijing had chosen the only person they both knew to start a conversation just to break the ice, but Liang Zhiyao only agreed briefly, feeling a sense of anxiety and helplessness inside.
How come I can't avoid this person no matter where I go?
She thought silently again that for herself, the last S should be changed from "Socialize" to "Survive".
Rather than an impossible triangle where she can choose freely, her current university life is more like a Jenga game with "Survive" as the foundation.
Survival was often the first thing she thought of every day. After all, without this S, she would lose everything. Love was more like an unattainable luxury, especially with someone like Tan Xu, with so many unknowns.
Liang Zhiyao started working at a very fortuitous time. Just as he was getting started, Thanksgiving holiday was approaching. Half of the employees in the company had taken their annual leave in advance, and the office was deserted. Whenever he sent an email, he would instantly receive several automatic replies saying "Out of Office".
When the boss saw that everyone in the team was on vacation starting Wednesday, he let her, the intern, take her vacation early and she didn't need to come.
The school had originally been on vacation since Wednesday. Americans were busy returning home to reunite with their parents, and many international students had planned short trips during these five days, including her two roommates.
So starting Tuesday evening, Liang Zhiyao was the only one left in the large two-bedroom apartment. Faced with the sudden lack of things to do, she took a few lucrative odd jobs on part-time job websites during Thanksgiving and made a video call with her parents.
They happened to be celebrating their grandmother's birthday, and the video was full of activity. The atmosphere of multiple generations living together was so vibrant that after they hung up the phone, the apartment living room felt even more deserted.
As winter approaches, the nights begin earlier and earlier, ending at around five in the morning, with not even a ray of light outside the window. Liang Zhiyao sat on the sofa for a moment, lost in thought. The TV was playing an old movie she had cast from her phone. It was a raucous comedy, but she didn't catch a single line.
Only at this moment did she realize particularly deeply that she was indeed a stranger. During the holidays that belonged to others, she could not reunite with her family like the locals, and the scarce material conditions also deprived her of the last right to travel far or party. Apart from continuing to complete the "Study" and "Sleep" in the impossible triangle, the only thing she could do was to stare blankly.
Liang Zhiyao's phone rang twice. It had been vibrating constantly all day. After all, the day after Thanksgiving was Black Friday. The e-commerce sites she'd registered with, unaware of her drastically reduced spending and her struggle to make ends meet, kept sending her discount emails and text messages, trying to whet her sluggish shopping itch with pictures of colorful gifts and giant discount percentage signs.
But maybe she was just too bored, so she couldn't help but pick up her phone to see which merchant's advertisement this time was and whether there were any daily necessities like shampoo on sale. But the moment she saw the screen, she was stunned.
The expected ad didn't appear, but a WeChat message from Tan Xu appeared. He asked her, "Are you on vacation? Do you want to go hiking together when the weather is nice?"
It had been several days since they last contacted each other, and the next message was still her making an excuse not to go to the library.
It was as if she had just noticed some subtle considerations in the details of her interactions with this man at this moment - his invitations to her as a "friend", apart from the sudden road trip when the whole city was out of power, were nothing more than studying in the library and watching the total lunar eclipse, and now there was also mountain climbing.
Even for someone as cash-strapped as her, doing these things would not bring any extra pressure of expenses, which protected her rather sensitive self-esteem and made her the type most likely to accept his invitation without feeling burdened.
Even the only dinner we agreed to treat him to was paid for by him in the end.
If you dig deeper, you'll find plenty more. For example, she half-jokingly said that besides running to relieve stress, she "also wanted to travel and get drunk," which led to that road trip to see the maple leaves. On the night they watched the total lunar eclipse together, even though it was his birthday, he helped her fulfill her wish to get drunk.
It was impossible for all these details to be unmoved, but she couldn't be sure whether those considerations were muscle memory accumulated through experience, or whether they came from the heart. Perhaps the other person was just enjoying the ambiguity and temptation of the moment, even if it wasn't with her, it would be the same with someone else.
And the mere thought of the possibility of the end made her lose the courage to start again.
The cursor in the dialog box was still jumping. Driven by the great loneliness brought by spending the holiday alone, Liang Zhiyao almost wanted to reply immediately with an "OK". However, after typing the simple two words, she backspaced them bit by bit like she had obsessive-compulsive disorder, and changed them to "Let me think about it", but still did not send it.
Finally, she deleted "Let me think about it" and changed it to "I went to P City and stayed at my relatives' house" and pressed send.
Better not. Since you don't dare to move forward, then don't provoke him anymore. The indecisive look is the most boring.
Perhaps inspired by Ye Xin's power outage, she invented a fictitious American relative living in a nearby city. Perhaps this act seemed cowardly, but she was a timid person to begin with.
The simple act of replying to the message seemed to have drained Liang Zhiyao of her last bit of energy, and the discomfort of lying also made her feel self-loathing. She washed up listlessly, switched the comedy on TV to a dull art film, and soon fell asleep to the unusually hypnotic soundtrack.
This sleep was not a sound one.
The temperature hadn't been too low these past two days, so she hadn't turned on the heater. Yet, her throat felt unusually dry, and she even felt a slight ache in her half-awake state. Her limbs felt like someone who hadn't exercised for a long time and had suddenly overexerted themselves, a heaviness akin to lactic acid buildup.
At daybreak, Liang Zhiyao vaguely realized that she might have a cold, or perhaps something worse. She reviewed her movements over the past two days as if she were solving a case, and suddenly remembered that yesterday, after finishing her internship, she took the light rail back to school. The person sitting next to her couldn't help coughing, and they kept sitting side by side at a distance for more than twenty minutes.
International students' health insurance actually includes a free flu shot, and appointments open every October. However, Liang Zhiyao had been busy with midterm exams and internship interviews, and had been putting it off. Now, facing retribution, he couldn't help but regret his shortsighted and unrealistic approach.
She turned on the heater, guzzled a few gulps of hot water, and wrapped herself tighter in the quilt, attempting to emulate her previous success with minor colds: suppressing the discomfort with plenty of sleep. However, this quickly failed. The light down quilt, wrapped tightly around her, offered no warmth at all; instead, her hands and feet grew even colder.
She took out a thermometer from the drawer and found that she did have a fever.
Even though her bed never felt warm, it was still the place she craved. But Liang Zhiyao's rationality told her that now was not the time to hide in bed and shiver. The refrigerator only contained raw meat and vegetables that needed to be cooked. She had to take advantage of the fact that today was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and the supermarkets were still open. She could go out and buy some food that would fill her stomach even if she didn't have the energy to cook, and most importantly, some medicine to reduce her fever.
In fact, the painkillers that Tan Xu bought for her last time when she had dysmenorrhea should have been used to reduce her fever, but she forgot them in his car that night and never mentioned them to him again.
The sense of urgency she felt about her important mission temporarily suppressed the frustration and sadness of being sick alone during the holidays. She managed to force herself out, grateful that most supermarkets in the United States also operated pharmacies—though the one across the street from her apartment focused on organic and high-end ingredients, which were a bit pricey and usually out of Liang Zhiyao's reach when she was able to move freely.
The supermarket was packed, teeming with people taking advantage of the pre-holiday shopping spree. She mechanically grabbed eggs, milk, and a few boxes of microwaveable instant food from the shelves. She then went to the pharmacy and grabbed a 100-tablet bottle of fever-reducing medication. She waited in line at the checkout counter for several minutes before realizing something, as the cashier announced the total, that had her heart sinking.
It was so embarrassing. Maybe she was sick and had a fever, so she didn't bring her wallet when she went out.
At this time, Liang Zhiyao had forgotten that he had just praised the advantages of American supermarkets that also operated pharmacies, and began to hate why American supermarkets still insisted on using cash and credit cards, unlike domestic supermarkets that supported mobile payments.
Compared to the momentary embarrassment of not being able to pay, the fact that she would have to make the same trip back and forth in the cold wind with a fever was even more despairing. Especially since she had bought so many things and would have to go back and look for them again later.
She explained the situation in a slightly hoarse voice, and the cashier looked embarrassed, ready to cancel the item that had already been scanned and entered. However, before he could do anything, the person in the checkout line behind her tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, can we pay together?"
The moment Liang Zhiyao heard the voice asking in English, his body stiffened.
Tan Xu greeted the cashier behind her and received a positive response.
He pushed the cart forward a few steps, removed the dividing rod on the conveyor belt used to separate the goods of different customers, mixed the two people's things together, and finally turned his head to look at her meaningfully.
Author's Note
Reversible light path
author
08-09
I was caught lying -w-
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
