confession
Gu Nanxiao looked at her smiling face, which was flushed with excitement and was so close to him. Her eyes, which were always full of smiles, now clearly reflected the light and also reflected his somewhat dazed figure.
Her joy was so real, so contagious, like warm sunshine that penetrated his layers of defense.
His heart skipped a beat, his Adam's apple rolled unconsciously, and he was a little afraid to look into her overly bright eyes. He turned his head slightly, but his ears uncontrollably turned a faint red.
He whispered, trying to hide his momentary loss of composure and the strange emotions surging in his heart: "...I just happened to think of it."
There was a barely perceptible softness in his voice, a softness that he himself was not even aware of.
The problem was solved and my tense nerves relaxed instantly.
At this moment, the two of them realized belatedly that the sound of rain outside the window had become dense and loud, crackling against the window, weaving a rain curtain between the sky and the earth, and the street lights in the distance were blurred and lonely balls of light in the rain.
It's raining heavily.
"Oh no, it's raining again." Jiang Yile walked to the window, looking at the tear-like water streaks running down the glass, and muttered softly, with a familiar sense of regret and fate in his tone, "I seem to... always forget to bring an umbrella."
After she said this, she was stunned for a moment, and instantly remembered the same rainy day when he first transferred to the new school, and the scene where he silently held the umbrella towards her.
As the memories overlapped, a strange warmth and a subtle feeling of being pulled by fate arose in my heart.
Gu Nanxiao also came over and stood beside her, looking out the window at the hazy rainy night that was completely shrouded in rain.
His eyes were deep, and he seemed to have remembered something, and the corners of his lips moved almost imperceptibly.
He didn't say anything, but walked back to his seat silently and picked up his school uniform jacket that was draped over the back of the chair - it was a blue and white, slightly loose sports jacket that looked quite thick.
He walked back to her, held up his coat and raised it above his head, like a makeshift, simple but inexplicably solid shelter.
His voice was particularly clear amidst the crescendo of the rain, carrying an unquestionable firmness and an almost instinctive desire to protect her: "Run back, it's not far."
His coat, with the warm temperature of his body and the familiar, clean and refreshing smell mixed with a hint of laundry detergent and youthful scent, instantly enveloped her.
This breath was closer, more real, and more intimate than the one on the rainy night. It penetrated into her nostrils almost every pore, lingered around her, and wrapped her tightly.
The space under the coat was small and private. She could clearly feel the steady and warm body temperature from his arm through the thin sweater, and hear his steady and strong heartbeat. Mixed with the noisy sound of rain and her own heartbeat that was like a drum and completely out of control, it played a chaotic and throbbing symphony that belonged only to youth.
Jiang Yile's heartbeat suddenly went out of control, as if ten thousand butterflies were flapping their wings at the same time in his chest, trying to break out of the cocoon.
"……Um."
She heard her own mosquito-thin, trembling response, nodded, and obediently, almost instinctively, crawled under his "umbrella" held up by his school uniform and filled with his scent. Her cheek inevitably touched his warm chest, and the heat instantly rose, burning through her ears.
The two looked at each other and saw the same nervousness and a hint of subtle shyness in each other's eyes, as well as some deeper, burning emotions that were about to burst out.
"Walk."
Gu Nanxiao whispered, his voice a little hoarse, as if he was trying hard to restrain something.
The next second, the two of them rushed into the fine, cold, and seemingly endless rain.
The boy took big steps, but deliberately slowed down his pace, carefully coordinating with her somewhat flustered, small steps.
He tilted most of his coat towards her, and his right shoulder and half of his body were soon wet by the pouring rain. The cold moisture quickly penetrated his clothes and stuck to his skin, bringing a biting chill, but he was completely unaware. All his attention seemed to be on protecting the person in his arms from getting wet. His arms held the coat steadily, holding up a moving piece of clear sky for her.
The raindrops hit the coat, making a dull and continuous sound like a war drum.
The world seemed to be isolated by this thick rain curtain, becoming blurred and distant.
All that was left were the somewhat messy sounds of their footsteps running side by side, the intertwined and somewhat rapid breathing, and the small space under their coats, which was filled with each other's hot breath and body temperature, making people blush, heartbeat and dizzy.
Every unintentional collision and friction of arms is like a faint spark splashing on the dry grassland, instantly igniting the ambiguous factors that have long been saturated in the air.
The halos of the street lamps were pulled into hazy, flowing bands of light in the rain, reflecting their running, close-fitting figures, like an impressionist painting.
Jiang Yile occasionally turned his head and could see the rain sliding down his neat jawline and his wet black hair sticking to his forehead, which made his eyebrows and eyes look even deeper, like a water-soaked ink painting.
He looked ahead intently, and the lines of his profile appeared exceptionally clear and firm in the flowing, blurred light and shadow, as if he was guarding the most important treasure in the world, with a power that gave her peace of mind.
This journey seems to be extremely long, yet also seems to be so short that it passes in a flash.
She hoped that this road would never end, and that she could keep running like this, running towards an unknown, free place where there were only the two of them, escaping from all the pressure and constraints of reality.
An emotion so strong that it almost suffocated her surged in her heart, threatening to burst through her chest and turn into words.
Finally, she ran to the big banyan tree at the entrance of her community, which had lush branches and leaves and looked like a huge umbrella on a rainy night.
The dense tree canopy blocked the rain to a certain extent, casting mottled, swaying, water-soaked, and broken shadows on the ground.
Both of them paused, breathing slightly.
The heat from running just now and the coolness of the rainy night intertwined, forming a strange sensory experience of ice and fire.
The space under the coats was still tight, their bodies almost touching, they could feel each other's violent heartbeats and warm breaths on each other's faces, the atmosphere was ambiguous to the extreme.
"arrive."
Gu Nanxiao lowered his arm that was holding up his coat. His hair and shoulders were wet. The loose hair on his forehead was completely soaked by the rain. A few strands of hair were stuck to his smooth forehead in a messy manner, and water droplets kept rolling down the ends of his hair.
In the night and the misty rain, his eyes seemed particularly deep and bright, like obsidian immersed in water, staring at her without blinking, with surging emotions in them that had been suppressed for so long and could no longer be concealed, like a flood about to burst its dam.
"Thanks."
Jiang Yile looked up at him, his chest heaving violently from running and some surging emotions.
Her cheeks were flushed, whether it was from exercise or something else.
The light was dim under the banyan tree, but it was enough for her to see his face so close to her, and the undisguised, burning emotion in his eyes that almost swallowed her up. There was the same unmistakable throbbing and desire in his eyes that she felt.
The surroundings were very quiet, with only the rustling sound of rain hitting the banyan leaves, like the whispers between lovers, giving rise to a certain impulse.
The air was filled with the fresh scent of rain-soaked soil and plants, mixed with the damp youthful heat emanating from the two people and a certain dangerous tension that was about to explode.
An invisible, powerful, almost leg-weakening gravity grew and spread between the two people, almost completely devouring their sanity.
He looked at her eyes, which became increasingly lustrous and watery in the dim light. They seemed to be filled with starlight and confusion, and now reflected his figure clearly, with complete trust and a hint of shy, expectant glimmer.
He looked at her cheeks, still flushed from running, as soft as petals, and her slightly opened lips, as tender as a newly opened rose... An unprecedented impulse, like a beast that had broken free from all shackles, suddenly and violently hit his shaky sanity without warning.
Those gazes that had accumulated over time and could not be ignored, those tacit and sweet understandings, and the unfamiliar tenderness and greed caused by her, at this moment converged into an irresistible and destructive torrent.
His Adam's apple rolled dryly, and his body seemed to be pulled by some invisible and powerful force. He slowly but firmly lowered his head and approached her.
His breath, a mixture of the coolness of the rain and his own scorching heat, brushed against her face with a thrilling temptation.
Jiang Yile seemed to realize what he wanted to do. His heart suddenly stopped beating, and then started beating again with a more frantic rhythm, almost breaking free from the restraints on his chest.
All the blood in her body seemed to rush to her head instantly, making her dizzy and her hands and feet weak.
She did not dodge, and even subconsciously closed her eyes slightly with a kind of pious expectation and complete surrender.
Their long eyelashes trembled slightly due to extreme nervousness and anticipation, like two butterflies resting in the rain, waiting for the judgment of fate.
The moment he leaned closer, the world suddenly became quiet.
The sounds of rain, wind, and leaves rustling all faded into distant background noise.
There was a gentle touch on my lips, with the coolness of rain and his hot breath.
The kiss was awkward and restrained, just a light touch, but it seemed to have drained all her strength.
She subconsciously clutched the corner of his wet clothes, her fingertips trembling.
Time stops at this moment.
He stepped back slightly, breathing heavily, resting his forehead against hers, his deep eyes locked on hers, as if confirming something.
In those eyes that were always as calm as water, there were now surging waves of fear, determination, and overwhelming affection that could no longer be hidden.
"Jiang Yile," he said hoarsely, his voice unnaturally low, every word hitting her heart, "I can't lie to myself anymore."
He held her face in his hot palms, and gently stroked her burning cheeks with his thumbs, his movements filled with an unprecedented cherishment.
"From the first time I saw you on the day I transferred to this school, when we stood there stupidly in the rain, or maybe even earlier... I just..." He paused, as if trying to find a precise enough word, but in the end, he just looked into her eyes more nervously, and spoke every word clearly, "I just couldn't help but want to be close to you."
Jiang Yile's heart trembled violently, and the tears in his eyes finally rolled down, mixing with the rain on his face, a mixture of warmth and coldness.
She looked at him, at this usually cold and reserved boy, who now let down all his guard for her, revealing his most genuine panic and deep affection.
All the speculations, anxieties, and sweet torment all had answers at this moment.
"Gu Nanxiao," she said softly with a heavy nasal tone, but with unprecedented courage. She raised her hand and gently covered the back of his hand that was caressing her cheek. "Me too."
She stood on tiptoe and took the initiative to press the unfinished kiss on his slightly cold lips.
This time, it’s no longer just a superficial touch.
His whole body shook violently, as if he had finally received some kind of supreme permission, and the taut, restrained string completely broke.
His arms suddenly tightened, and he held her tightly in his arms, almost kneading her into his bones and blood.
The awkward temptation was washed away by the surging emotions, and the kiss became deep and lingering, with the reckless passion and possessiveness that are unique to young people.
Raindrops dripped through the cracks in the banyan tree, falling between their tangled hair and on their tightly pressed bodies, but it was unable to extinguish the raging fire.
The coat had already fallen to the ground, covered in mud, and no one cared.
Under the banyan tree on this isolated rainy night, they explored each other clumsily and devoutly, confirming each other's feelings in the most direct way.
An unknown amount of time passed, until both of them were out of breath, and he reluctantly pulled away a little, but still held her tightly in his arms, his chin resting on her wet head.
"From now on," his voice was hoarse from the kiss and full of unquestionable determination, "your umbrella will be under my care."
Jiang Yile buried her hot cheek in his chest, which was also wet but made her feel extremely at ease. Listening to his heartbeat in his chest, which was as rapid and chaotic as her own, she uttered a soft "hmm", and the corners of her mouth rose uncontrollably.
The rain is still falling and getting heavier.
But at this moment, none of them cared.
He bent down to pick up the wet coat on the ground and casually put it on his arm, while his other hand took her hand naturally and firmly.
The ten fingers were tightly clasped together, and the warmth from the palms dispelled all the chill of the rainy night.
"Let's go," he looked at her, his eyes filled with tenderness and smile, "I'll take you downstairs."
They walked very slowly along this short distance.
Holding hands, shoulder to shoulder, no more need to run, no more need to hide.
The rain fell on my body, but I only felt refreshed and clear-headed.
Occasionally they would turn their heads to look at each other, and when their eyes met, there was a sweetness and throbbing that only they understood. Then they would smile at the same time, like two children who had stolen the sweetest candy in the world.
When I arrived at the unit door, the lights became a little brighter.
"Hurry up and take a hot bath." Gu Nanxiao raised his hand and tucked a strand of wet hair stuck to her forehead behind her ear, his fingertips lingering on her earlobe, "Don't catch a cold."
"You too." Jiang Yile nodded, but was reluctant to let go of their clasped hands.
"Tomorrow morning," he looked at her with a focused gaze, "I'll pick you up."
"good."
She finally walked into the corridor, looking back every few steps, and when she turned the corner, she couldn't help but look back at him.
He was still standing there, his posture as straight as a pine tree, his eyes following her all the time.
Seeing her turn around, he raised his hand and waved at her. The smile on his lips was incredibly gentle under the bright light.
Jiang Yile also smiled and waved, then turned and went upstairs.
Not until her figure completely disappeared from his sight did Gu Nanxiao look down at his palms, which still retained her warmth, and slowly clenched them, as if he was holding the whole world.
He looked up at the light that was about to come on in her window, and his chest was filled with an unprecedented, full and hot emotion.
Jiang Yile almost ran into the house as if escaping, and leaned against the cold security door, and only then did he seem to find his breath again.
My heart was still beating wildly in my chest, like a drum, announcing that what had just happened was not a dream.
There was a sound of rain outside the door, while the world inside was so quiet that the only sounds were my own rapid breathing and the beating of my heart.
She slowly slid down to sit on the ground. The cold tile floor shone through her wet clothes, but it could not cool the heat that continued to rise on her face, ears, and even her entire body.
Subconsciously, her fingertips lightly touched her lips.
There... there seemed to still be that slightly cool and soft touch, mixed with the fresh scent of rain and his unique, clean and clear smell.
That brief, awkward kiss was like a brand, carrying a shuddering electric current that instantly penetrated her limbs and bones.
The deep eyes when he lowered his head and approached her, the hot palms when he held her cheeks, the suppressed and surging emotions when he said in a hoarse voice, "I can't lie to myself anymore"... Every detail was infinitely magnified and slowed down in her mind, so clear that she had nowhere to escape.
"From the first time I saw you on the day I transferred to this school... I couldn't help but want to be close to you."
His words echoed in my ears again and again, and every word was like a stone thrown into the lake of my heart, stirring up layers of sweet ripples.
It turned out that she was not the only one who was silently paying attention, and she was not the only one whose heartbeat accelerated during those unintentional eye contact.
Those moments of tacit understanding that she thought were one-sided, and those seemingly accidental acts of help from him, were now given new and dizzying meanings because of his confession.
Her cheeks burned uncontrollably again, and she buried her burning face in her knees, but the corners of her mouth couldn't help but rise up, forming a silly, unstoppable smile.
My heart felt like a honey pot had been overturned, so sweet that it was sickening, and it also felt like I was embracing the entire starry sky, brilliant and bright.
She remembered the last time he held her hand, and the firm warmth in his palm; she remembered the unmistakable tenderness and expectation in his eyes when he said he would pick her up the next morning.
"From now on, your umbrella will be under my care."
The domineering yet tender words made her heart soften like a pool of spring water.
"Idiot..." She muttered softly, not knowing whether she was talking about him or herself who was also addicted to it.
There was a sweetness in her voice that was almost overflowing.
She sat on the ground for a long time until the wetness on her body brought her a little coolness, and then she suddenly woke up.
He stood up, walked to the window, and quietly lifted a corner of the curtain.
The thin and tall figure next to the banyan tree downstairs has disappeared.
He should have gone home too, right?
Could it be that... he was also savoring the kiss just now, just like her?
The thought made her heart skip a beat again.
She touched her still hot cheeks and took a deep breath. The air seemed to still be filled with the throbbing aftertaste of the rain and the kiss.
Tonight, I am destined to be sleepless.
At the same time, Gu Nanxiao returned to his empty and quiet home. The voice-controlled light in the entrance hall lit up, illuminating his wet and slightly disheveled figure.
He did not turn on the light immediately, nor did he change his wet clothes. He just leaned against the door, tilted his head slightly, and closed his eyes.
In the darkness, the senses are infinitely magnified.
The touch of her soft lips seemed to still linger on his lips, with the unique sweet scent of a young girl mixed with the slightly salty smell of rainwater.
The throbbing and trembling at that moment were like the strongest liquor, with a strong aftertaste, and were now slowly and powerfully washing away his mind and every part of his body.
He never thought that he would lose control like this.
Before that impulsive kiss fell, all the restraint and composure collapsed in front of her slightly closed eyes and trembling waiting posture.
He recalled how she looked at that time - her cheeks were flushed, her long eyelashes trembling, like a frightened but trusting butterfly.
At that moment, what surged in his heart was not only a surging love, but also a heavy sense of responsibility to protect her forever.
"Me too."
Her tearful response and the kiss she took on tiptoe were like a ray of light, instantly illuminating all the haze of uncertainty in his mind.
It turns out that his approach and his greed were not a one-man show.
He slowly raised his hand and looked at his palm.
Here, he had just held her hand tightly, fingers interlocked, transmitting each other's hot body temperature and the determination after confirming his feelings.
Here, I also held her face, feeling the delicate texture and scorching heat of her skin.
A strange and surging emotion surged in my chest: joy, satisfaction, an unprecedented sense of steadiness, and an indescribable longing for the future.
He walked to the window and looked at the rain that was still falling outside.
The rain slid down the glass in a winding manner, blurring the outside world but making the emotions in my heart clearer.
He remembered many details.
The focused profile of her face when she was solving a problem, her eyes that curved into crescents when she smiled, her frustrated and slightly coquettish mumbling when she forgot to bring an umbrella, and the instantaneous light in her eyes every time they met "accidentally"... These scenes that he had once deliberately ignored or hidden deep in his heart were now connected together to form the brightest and most indispensable scenery in his youth.
"Gu Nanxiao, you're done."
He whispered to himself, but a very deep and gentle smile appeared uncontrollably at the corner of his mouth.
The smile spread from his lips to his eyes, dispelling the cold aura that usually surrounded him, making him look lively and gentle.
He took out his cell phone and clicked on the profile picture that he had already memorized.
The dialog box is still stuck on a discussion about an exercise from a few days ago.
His slender fingers hovered over the screen for a moment, and then he solemnly typed in word by word:
"Are you there yet? Don't catch a cold."
send.
He held the phone tightly in his hand, as if he was holding an extremely precious treasure.
Her gaze once again turned to the general direction of her home outside the window, her eyes firm and gentle.
The rain was still falling, but his world was already clear.
Tonight, and every night to come, will be different because of this shared feeling.
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