Side story: Resident Evil
(I feel better when I share this morbid humor, so please don't read this chapter while eating, for the sake of your appetite. Ahahahahahaha!!!)
On Monday morning, a strange smell wafted through the GI Institute's cafeteria.
Yunhe held his coffee, frowned, and sniffed.
What does it taste like?
Aiqiqi sat opposite him, her face turning green.
"I don't know, but my stomach is screaming..."
As soon as he finished speaking, he suddenly covered his buttocks.
puff--
A long, muffled thud.
Zhang Can at the next table instantly pinched his nose and screamed, "You son of a bitch!"
Ai Qiqi gave an awkward smile: "Sorry, I had spicy hot pot last night..."
But the next second, Zhang Can's own stomach began to churn.
Pfft!
It's louder and smellier than Aiqiqi.
She froze.
"Holy crap..."
By nine o'clock in the morning, the entire research institute had been turned into a gas chamber.
In the corridor, the researchers clutched their stomachs and ran frantically toward the toilet.
"Make way! Make way!"
"I can't take it anymore! I—"
puff!
A middle-aged man in a suit knelt down directly at the corner.
His pants were visibly wet.
Li Liguo leaned against the wall, his face deathly pale.
"Something's not right...something's not right..."
He shuddered as soon as he finished speaking.
Pulu—
Thin.
Yunhe rushed into the laboratory and slammed the door shut.
"Sink Huai'an!" she cried out in despair, "There's shit everywhere outside!"
Shen Huai'an was leisurely reading a book when he heard this and looked up.
"I can smell it."
He wrinkled his nose gracefully.
"You ate breakfast at the cafeteria too?"
Yun shook his head frantically: "No! But I inhaled their farts! I feel like my intestines are tied in knots!"
No sooner had she finished speaking than her stomach let out a terrible rumbling sound.
She froze.
"No……"
Shen Huai'an sighed and patted the empty seat next to him.
"Come in."
Yunhe practically lunged into the riot cage.
Shen Huai'an casually locked the door.
“The cage has an air filtration system,” he explained. “You are safe for now.”
Outside, screams echoed everywhere.
"Ugh! The toilet's clogged!"
"Who the hell is taking a shit in the sink?!"
Yunhe huddled next to Shen Huai'an, trembling.
"What exactly is going on?"
Shen Huai'an pondered for two seconds.
"Mushroom soup from the cafeteria this morning."
"mushroom?"
"Yes, it was collected from the hill behind the research institute."
"...That thing is edible?!"
"Obviously not."
The cage isn't very big.
Yunhe had no choice but to stick close to Shen Huai'an.
His body temperature is lower than that of humans, and his skin is cool and smooth.
She moved slightly, and her knee bumped into something she shouldn't have.
Shen Huai'an raised an eyebrow at her.
"I'm sorry!" Yunhe blushed instantly. "I didn't mean to!"
He chuckled softly.
"nervous?"
"Nonsense! There's a shit disaster happening outside!"
“But you’re in the cage,” he said slowly, “with me.”
Yunhe choked.
The atmosphere suddenly became awkward.
Suddenly, the laboratory door was kicked open.
Elsa stumbled in, her pants already half off.
"Sister Yun! Help! The toilet—"
She froze when she saw the two people in the cage.
Yunhe: "..."
Elsa: "..."
puff--
It all came down in a blur.
Elsa broke down in tears.
"Why...why are you all alright..."
Shen Huai'an politely turned his head away.
"I suggest you go to the medical team."
Elsa crawled away crying.
The door closed again.
Yunhe buried her face in her hands.
"I want to die."
Shen Huai'an turned his head to look at her.
"You can come closer."
"What?"
"The cage is cold."
Yunhe stiffly moved half an inch.
Shen Huai'an reached out and pulled her into his arms. His eyelashes brushed against her forehead, like two long, fluffy little fans.
"It's warm here."
Clouds and my heart pounded wildly.
"You...you did this on purpose?"
He smiled.
"you guess."
Three hours later, the medical team finally brought the situation under control.
All researchers were placed in centralized quarantine.
Only the two people in the cage remained.
Yunhe was nestled in Shen Huai'an's arms, already asleep.
He looked down at her and gently brushed away the stray hairs from her forehead.
"It seems..."
He chuckled softly.
"The fart disaster isn't entirely useless."
(over)
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