Prince of Roses
Have you heard the story of the Prince of the Rose?
Lu Chenyang felt a little dizzy from the stop-and-go bus ride, but he perked up when he heard Yu Sheng's question. "Never heard of it. A fairy tale?"
The mask covered most of his face, but Yu Sheng could still glimpse a hint of fatigue in his eyes.
Lu Chenyang has been in Changchun for half a month now. He takes his medicine on time every day and forces himself to go out to buy groceries alone. He chooses large farmers' markets and tries to interact with people as much as possible.
He had a deep understanding of how terrible phobias were; it was a torment that gnawed at his bones. At that time, he was afraid to step out of his room, and even approaching the elevator was a challenge, let alone being in a bustling crowd.
What does that feel like? It's like being ripped from the rest of the world and transported to a completely new parallel universe. Everything is the same, but only you know, you know perfectly well that you don't belong here.
Everyone is separated by a thin membrane; they can't see you, they can't hear you. You're like a wandering ghost, like an invisible wall of air. Everything can pass right through you. And you can't breathe, can't communicate, can't survive. All you want to do is go home as quickly as possible, crawl back into that safe shell, completely covered from head to toe, leaving no gaps.
Even though Yu Sheng had fully recovered by now, the memory still sent chills down her spine. Initially, she was so worried that she would secretly follow Lu Chenyang after he left the house, but after being caught a few times, she gradually gave up.
He didn't approve of such a simplistic and brutal self-treatment, but he couldn't stop him. Once Lu Chenyang made up his mind about something, it was very difficult to change it.
The dog has a terrible temper and is difficult to raise.
Last night, while Lu Chenyang was asleep, he spent a long time looking through Changchun's bus routes and chose the current one: Z141.
—"Please hold on tight to the handrail while the vehicle is in motion. The next stop is Cultural Street Station..."
Yu Sheng had been waiting for this moment.
“There are many fairy tales, but the worst ones are those that are ‘based on true stories.’” Yu Sheng looked out the car window and saw that it had started to snow lightly, just like last year at this time, December 31st.
"The protagonist of the story had a loving girlfriend, and they had been together for a long time. When they were about to get married, the man's parents disagreed with the marriage. The girl's family was very reasonable, believing that the difference in their family backgrounds was not a good match and there was no need to make a fuss, so the girl broke up with him. But the boy was infatuated, and no matter how much he argued with his family, it was no use. He could only watch helplessly as the girl married someone else, while he remained immersed in the past and unable to move on. The boy was happy for the girl's marriage, but he still couldn't let go. He would often sneak away to the place where the girl worked to see her from afar, without disturbing anyone. But then the girl died in childbirth, and the boy went insane. After that, a madman holding roses appeared at the bus stop."
"Is this the bus route we're operating?" Lu Chenyang asked.
“Yes,” Yu Sheng said, “Z141 Wenhua Street, because that bus stop was a line they often took during their relationship, the route the boy took to walk the girl home.”
“So, Lu Chenyang,” Yu Sheng turned her face to meet Lu Chenyang’s eyes, but was interrupted by Lu Chenyang before she could finish her sentence.
He wrapped his arms around Yu Sheng's neck, pressed his head against his shoulder, and gently kissed the top of his snow-white hair. "I won't die, and I won't get sick again. I will live for a very, very long time, and I will die after you."
Yu Sheng didn't care about the stares of those around her, wrapping her arms around Lu Chenyang's neck. They were fully armed and weren't afraid of being recognized. Even if they were, it didn't matter to him.
He no longer wanted to think about the impact of their relationship being exposed on Lu Chenyang's career, or about those ridiculous escape routes. As long as this person was alright, that was enough.
“Chenyang, what I wanted to say is, don’t be afraid.” Yu Sheng sniffed and leaned against Lu Chenyang’s chest. “You don’t need to force yourself. Whether you’re sick or healthy, I’ll be there for you. Just like you were with me before, if you go to hell, I’ll pull you out, or stay there with you. Didn’t you say I’m your angel? How could an angel abandon its little human?”
I will walk into hell with roses in my hands, step by step towards you. If it rains, I will take off my coat to cover the flowers, because they are a gift for you. You don't need to struggle to climb out to see me; I will take you away. If we can't get out, we'll settle down and make a home inside. Hell is fine too; I spent many years there, and now I have you.
The snow had lessened considerably as they walked through a university campus.
“Actually, there’s something else I wanted to say today.” Yu Sheng shook their clasped hands. “I sponsored a girl before, Minmin, remember? She got into the School of Economics and Management at this university this year. I promised to come to her opening ceremony in September, but you…”
He paused, not continuing, but his fingers tightened slightly. "...Anyway, I missed it. Tonight, her college is having a New Year's Eve party, and her performance is a solo dance. I thought I'd come and watch."
Lu Chenyang listened quietly, then nodded at the end and said in a relaxed tone, "The little girl who brought you the live hen and the sweet potatoes and potatoes?"
"Yes, it's her." Yu Sheng couldn't help but laugh whenever he mentioned sweet potatoes, potatoes, and that live chicken.
The closer they got to the auditorium where the party was being held, the clearer the noise and bright lights became. Lu Chenyang unconsciously slowed his pace, and his breathing became slightly rapid. Behind that door was a densely packed, enclosed space filled with noise.
These are still challenges that require courage to face given his current situation.
Yu Sheng immediately noticed his change, "How about..."
“It’s okay.” Lu Chenyang stopped and pointed to a quiet path illuminated by streetlights not far away, where there was an empty bench. “How about I wait for you over there? It’s quiet there, and a dance won’t last too long. I’m wearing a lot of clothes, so I won’t be cold.”
“…Okay, I’ll just say hello and come out quickly.” Yu Sheng couldn’t bring herself to ask Lu Chenyang to come in with her. The illness couldn’t be overcome by willpower alone; even the strongest person has vulnerabilities they can’t overcome.
Looking into Yu Sheng's eyes, which appeared exceptionally gentle under the light, Lu Chenyang felt a strange sense of calm ease. He nodded, "Okay. Go ahead, no need to rush, I'll wait for you here."
He gripped Yu Sheng's hand tightly for a moment before releasing it and turning to walk towards the bench. When he sat down, he chose an angle from which he could clearly see the side door of the auditorium, as if in this way he could maintain an invisible connection with Yu Sheng inside.
The snow seemed to intensify the moment Yu Sheng's figure disappeared, pelting him like goose feathers. The fine, shimmering snowflakes, like glass fibers, pricked his bones through his thick down jacket.
He sat on the bench, looking at the diverse crowd in the distance. Soft, warm light emanated from inside the auditorium, but stopped at his feet, unable to reach him.
He seemed to be encased in layers of transparent cocoons, unable to enter or leave. Only ice and snow and cold wind could penetrate him, and even the rustling of the trees overhead seemed distant and elusive.
At that moment, he felt like a thief spying on the joys and sorrows of the world, unable to see the light of day and unable to obtain anything.
"Pfft—" Lu Chenyang laughed out loud, a bitter laugh.
So this was what Yu Sheng had felt before; he finally understood. He was even somewhat relieved, relieved that this illness, which had nearly cost him his life, had allowed him to truly empathize with his lover's pain. This was what true empathy was, this was what it meant to share pain.
How did Yu Sheng get through those years? Was it just as painful for him? He blamed himself for showing up too late.
The masochistic pleasure was threatening to overwhelm all his reason that was controlling his illness. Let him just sink into despair...
"Morning Sun".
It was Yu Sheng's voice, piercing through that thick cocoon.
He had thought a long time had passed when it was only the time it takes to dance a single dance.
When Yu Sheng opened her eyes and came out of the side door of the auditorium, the fine snow was falling lightly.
The streetlights were shining not far above his head, and he was looking up slightly toward the bench, as if to confirm whether Lu Chenyang was still there.
Warm, yellow light streamed down, enveloping him completely. The fluttering snowflakes became clear in the beam of light, like tiny starlight falling on his snow-white hair. Every strand of hair was bathed in a soft, warm glow.
He walked rather quickly, kicking up a little snow dust with his feet. The lamplight cast his long, slender shadow on the clean snow.
Lu Chenyang watched quietly, his breath condensing into white mist in the cold air.
Everything around him gradually stopped and returned to calm. The swirling snow and the faint sounds of a distant party song became a blurred background. In his world, only the figure bathed in light was walking towards him.
There were no wings, no hymns, but Lu Chenyang had no more doubts.
This is his angel.
I traversed crowds and braved wind and snow to reach his side.
"Are you cold?" Yu Sheng breathed on her palm to warm Lu Chenyang's ears.
At that moment, the melody of a piano piece drifted faintly from the auditorium, its soothing notes piercing through the snow.
Lu Chenyang stood up, shook the snow off Yu Sheng's shoulders, and said with a smile, "Moving around will keep you warm."
He bowed slightly and extended his right hand to his angel in a gentlemanly manner. Yu Sheng was slightly taken aback, then smiled knowingly and gently placed her hand in his palm.
Without a word, Lu Chenyang gently put one arm around Yu Sheng's waist and held his hand in the other, slowly spinning him around under the streetlights to the faint melody. Snowflakes fell on their pressed shoulders and between their clasped fingers.
Their pace was slow, more like embracing and swaying gently in the snow. Yu Sheng's white hair shimmered softly under the lamplight, and as he looked up, snowflakes fell into his smiling eyes.
The knight finally laid down his sword and opened his arms to welcome his fallen angel.
Two grieving souls embraced, carefully mending each other's broken souls stitch by stitch, tenderly licking each other's wounds. Hand in hand, bathed in the light of snow and lamplight, they danced a dance that belonged only to them.
"I love you, Asheng," Lu Chenyang whispered, pulling him even closer.
I'm willing to go with you, take me out of hell, I'll stay close to you. I'll carry the roses, you just need to hold my hand.
*
Police Dog Care Guidelines
December 31:
—Today is a romantic day for the puppy. We took the bus (it was my first time riding it, luckily I checked the guide beforehand and didn't embarrass myself). I told him the story of the Rose Prince. I wanted him to know that recovery takes time, and he shouldn't put too much pressure on himself. No matter what, I will always be there for him.
—But the puppy seems to have misunderstood. He said he would die after me. How could I bear to let him suffer alone? Let's die together. Anyway, I don't have many things I cherish, and he is the most important one.
—We danced. It was the first time.
Damn! I'm so tired, my back, butt, and crotch hurt. What breed of dog has such great stamina?
—Hmm…I need to buy a new bed tomorrow.
—It would be great if I could get my dog spayed/neutered while I was at it. Hehe.
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