Root of evil
The contract termination was handled by Xinghua's legal department as well, and progressed smoothly as Lu Chenyang had expected, with the matter settled in less than a week. Lu Chenyang also signed with Xinghua Entertainment as agreed.
During this rare free time, the two young men in their twenties spent almost the entire week in bed, except for visiting their grandmother in the hospital.
Sometimes Lu Chenyang went too far, and Yu Sheng would grit her teeth and call him a "mad dog." Lu Chenyang, without batting an eye, would lean over and bite him, retorting with "dog bone."
The cleaning was always handled by Lu Chenyang. Yu Sheng only needed to lie sprawled in the bathtub, at most raising his aching arms to cooperate. After all, he was the young master, and young masters were meant to be waited on. Besides, he really didn't have much strength.
Having just tasted the pleasure, Lu Chenyang was bursting with energy. Yu Sheng, soaking in the warm water, looked at her paralyzed arms and legs, then at Lu Chenyang, who was busy serving her but only had a thin layer of sweat on his body. She couldn't help but mutter to herself, "I really want to take a knife and cut open this guy's skin to see if it's filled with screws and gears or something: Is this guy some kind of android?"
"Clang clang clang—!"
When the knocking sounded, Yu Sheng was being carried out of the bathroom by Lu Chenyang and was being dressed in pajamas.
"Who is it?" Lu Chenyang frowned and looked towards the security door. Very few people knew his address, and almost no one would come knocking without prior notice.
"You came pretty quickly." Yu Sheng neatly tied her belt, gestured with her chin towards Lu Chenyang, and commanded, "Open the door."
"oh."
The door opened, and the person standing outside made Lu Chenyang pause slightly.
"Hey, Chenyang, I've come to deliver the script."
"Ah Jiang?!" Lu Chenyang was somewhat surprised. The person who came was actually the clever little assistant from the "Shattered Light" crew.
"Don't block the door, come in and sit down." Yu Sheng sank lazily into the sofa and didn't move. His legs were still weak and he couldn't stand up.
"You poached Ajiang from Director Wu?" Lu Chenyang asked while pouring water.
"No, no," Ajiang quickly took the water glass and explained for Yu Sheng, "I was a university intern in Director Wu's film crew before. After graduation, I joined Xinghua. Brother Yu Sheng knew that I had worked with Brother Chenyang, so he mentioned to President Lan that I should become Brother Chenyang's assistant."
The assistant's eyes darted around, glancing at the two of them whose hair was still wet, clearly indicating they had just showered. She put down the script and went straight to the point, reporting on the important matters that Lan Zhong had instructed her to do.
First, the script was changed. Yan Jianghe elevated Wu Cao, the second male lead, to the position of the male lead, giving him the same amount of screen time as the original male lead, Sui Qing. "Dark Fire" was thus definitively set as a dual-male lead drama. Lan Dajing even had a friendly argument with Yan Jianghe over this, because the stubborn old man Yan just couldn't bear to cut Wu Cao's scenes.
Secondly, Lan Dajing left his eldest son, Lan Yi, on the African savanna to finish up his documentary, and returned to China yesterday. However, without seeing anyone, he directly dragged Yan Jianghe into Changchun, Jilin, in Northeast China to scout locations.
The story of "Dark Fire" is set in the 1990s. The harsh winter of the last century, with the north frozen over, workers laid off, and everything in a state of desolation, perfectly matches the tone of the script.
Finally, the auditions are scheduled for the end of November. After the lead actors are selected, they will be arranged to immerse themselves in the characters' lives at the filming location for a month. Filming is tentatively scheduled to begin in January next year.
After reporting his work, A Jiang tactfully took his leave. Yu Sheng lazily curled up on the sofa and flipped through a script, while Lu Chenyang was busy in the kitchen, washing fruit for his young master.
The phone screen lit up, Lu Chenyang dried his hands and opened it. It was a message from Qin Nan, very brief.
"—Just received news today that Chen Yi was attacked and had both legs broken last night after leaving Veilde with drinks. All the surrounding security cameras are broken, so we don't know who did it."
Lu Chenyang stared at the words for a long time. The water in the sink overflowed, and the cold touch jolted him back to reality. He subconsciously turned his head and looked into the living room through the glass door of the kitchen. Yu Sheng was still lying lazily, one leg draped over the armrest of the sofa, her fair ankle swinging unconsciously.
Perhaps sensing the gaze, Yu Sheng turned her head, meeting Lu Chenyang's eyes. A smile played on his lips, his voice hoarse with satisfaction, almost like he was pleading, "Officer Lu, are my strawberries washed yet?"
Lu Chenyang's lips unconsciously curled up, and he turned off the screen as if nothing had happened. "All done washing."
He scooped out the large, bright red strawberries and placed them in a crystal-clear glass dish.
"Here, you can eat a maximum of ten." He picked up the most tempting one and fed it to Yu Sheng's lips.
"You're so stingy." Yu Sheng, with a strawberry in her mouth, rolled her eyes at him and muttered under her breath.
"If you don't get an upset stomach, I'll buy you as much as you want to eat."
Lu Chenyang's tone was both helpless and indulgent. He had long since figured out the pattern: Yu Sheng loved to eat strawberries, but she would get an upset stomach if she ate even a little too many, yet she was always tempted to sneak some, and then she would secretly suffer from a stomachache.
"Oh dear, let's go read the script."
*
Beijing's first snowfall this year came unexpectedly, almost half a month earlier than usual. In mid-November, the entire city was covered with a thin layer of silvery white.
More than half a month has passed since Lu Chenyang returned from the hospital. His new agent, Sister Zhou, has only arranged some magazine shoots and advertising endorsements for him, leaving him plenty of time to immerse himself in studying the script of "Dark Fire" and prepare for the audition.
Everyone knows that getting the lead role in Lan Dajing's drama is not something that can be achieved through connections alone.
Yu Sheng's days were far from leisurely. Besides rehearsing with Lu Chenyang and studying his own character, he also had to frequently fly to Australia, leaving him with little time to spare.
What exhausted him even more was that Yu Zhengcheng had returned.
Yu Zhengcheng had actually been back for over a week. Yu Sheng didn't attend the welcome banquet because he was in Australia at the time. But he's in Beijing now, and Yu Zhengcheng called him during the day, mentioning a family dinner tomorrow that he absolutely had to attend.
The purpose is self-evident. Rumors had been circulating for some time that Yu Huaihan, the eldest daughter of Yaodong International Bank, was about to marry the son of an American oil tycoon.
It was late at night, but sleepiness was nowhere to be found.
Yu Sheng opened the bedside drawer; inside were a few sleeping pills that Bai Hua had prescribed earlier. He hadn't touched them for a long time, and the treatment plan had been adjusted long ago. There were very few pills left.
"Can't sleep?" Lu Chenyang's deep voice came from behind, and a warm arm wrapped around her. The warm yellow floor lamp by the bedside then turned on.
“Officer Lu…” Yu Sheng immediately crouched down and snuggled into his arms, like a little animal seeking protection.
"I'm here." Lu Chenyang's warm palm gently stroked his slightly curly hair. "Can't sleep? Let's talk?"
Yu Sheng nuzzled against his neck, which was considered a nod.
"Hmm... what should we talk about?" Lu Chenyang pretended to ponder, but he already had a plan in mind. "How about we talk about your hair? Would you be willing to tell me why you're so reluctant to get a haircut?"
He had asked this question at a moment when it was not his own doing, but the fleeting shadow in Yu Sheng's eyes made him immediately shut up.
But now, he has to ask.
This is the best treatment plan that Lu Chenyang and Bai Hua discussed.
He wanted to guide Yu Sheng to confide in him about her past and express her fears. This was necessary for the treatment. On a deeper level, Lu Chenyang almost greedily thought that Yu Sheng was his, and he wanted not only to possess her present and future, but also to own her entire past—those painful, fearful fragments that constituted the cause of her illness.
“Because…” Yu Sheng took a deep breath, her voice slightly unsteady, “because of my sister.”
"Would you... tell me more?" Lu Chenyang's kiss landed on the top of his head, full of encouragement.
“Yes, I’m willing.” Yu Sheng snuggled closer to him, drawing on his solid sense of security. “My name is Yu Sheng, which is actually the ‘Sheng’ in ‘giving birth’.”
“I was created as a ‘tool’ for Yu Zhengcheng to fight with his uncles for the family property. My birth… took my mother away. My sister was only ten years old at the time. She lost her mother, and Yu Zhengcheng was very cold to her because she was a girl… She was essentially an orphan. And I, being a boy, was the one who took away her mother and also took away the inheritance that belonged solely to her… That’s why she didn’t like me.”
"I started thinking, if only I were a girl. Would I not have taken things from my sister, and would she not hate me so much?"
"So... you've had long hair since you were little?" Lu Chenyang's fingers twirled around his soft hair.
"No, I started growing my hair when I was twelve. Because Yu Zhengcheng wouldn't allow it." Yu Sheng's body trembled almost imperceptibly, as if invaded by the chill of memories.
Lu Chenyang kissed the top of his head again and again, "Can you tell me... what he did?"
Yu Sheng remained silent, but the trembling in her shoulders intensified.
"Don't be afraid." Lu Chenyang quickly opened the bedside drawer, took out a small sketchbook and a pen, and put them into Yu Sheng's hand.
This was something Bai Hua had suggested he prepare early on. For patients, directly describing their psychological fears is like a repeated, agonizing torture. If possible, Bai Hua hoped Lu Chenyang could guide Yu Sheng to draw it out.
"Ah Sheng, try drawing it, so I can enter your world, okay?"
Yu Sheng hesitated for a long time before finally nodding and gripping the pen tightly. The pen tip hovered on the paper for a long time, and a drop of thick black ink spread out, like a frozen tear.
Finally, the pen tip began to glide.
A simple line drawing on the paper shows an old man leading a child in a soccer game.
“This is my grandfather.” Yu Sheng pouted, holding back tears that were about to spill over. “He is a very kind old man and the person who loves me the most.”
“I’ve lived with my grandfather ever since I was born…” Yu Sheng choked up, “But the old man passed away when I was seven. After he died, no one loved me anymore.”
“When my grandfather was alive, Yu Zhengcheng treated me quite well. But after my grandfather died, his true colors were revealed.”
“At that time, I didn’t understand what death was. I just saw them put Grandpa into a black coffin, surrounded by many people. Later, Yu Zhengcheng took me home. I was very scared and asked him, ‘Dad, where did Grandpa go? I miss Grandpa.’”
“I will always remember how Yu Zhengcheng answered me. He said, ‘Your grandfather is dead. Completely dead. Do you know what it means to be dead? It means to be buried in the ground and slowly rot away. His flesh and internal organs will rot and stink, and then maggots and insects will eat all the rotten flesh, chewing it up piece by piece, eating your grandfather clean, leaving only a pile of bones.’”
“I was terrified and started crying. Yu Zhengcheng coaxed me very gently. He said, ‘Good child, if you cry like this, Daddy will be unhappy. If you don’t want to rot in the ground like Grandpa, then keep quiet, okay?’ I never dared to make a sound in front of him again.”
“I cry under the covers every night. Every time I close my eyes, I see my grandfather buried in the ground. His flesh is rotting, insects are eating it, and all that’s left is a pile of white bones. I don’t want to be buried there too.”
"I later realized that my tendency to cry easily might have been acquired, and I cried too much that night. At that time, I thought that I could go to school the next day, see Lan Zhong, and maybe even meet Brother Lan. I must tell them to let me stay at their house, even if it's just for one day."
"But the next day, Yu Zhengcheng put a four-leaf clover necklace on my head and a digital watch. He told me that he hadn't spent enough time with me and wanted to know more about me, so he put a locator in the necklace so he would know where I went. The watch was to let him know who I met, what I did, and what I said. I was being monitored by him. I knew I couldn't go anywhere anymore."
"But at the time, I only thought that my dad just wanted to understand me, protect me, and pay attention to me. Because my teacher said that no parent doesn't love their child, and that fatherly love is like a mountain, very heavy and not very good at expressing. So I firmly believed that my dad loved me."
“I used to envy Lanzhong. He has a mother and an older brother. But I don’t think there’s anything to envy. I also have a father and an older sister. It’s just that our way of getting along is very special and different from other families.”
"But I'm so lonely. Nobody in my family talks to me. The nanny, the housekeeper, and the whole yard of bodyguards all ignore me and won't even give me a glance. It's like I'm just a little pet that Yu Zhengcheng brought home, someone he just keeps alive."
"No, no, I'm not a pet. Pet owners might play with me when they're in a good mood, but I'm not. I'm more like air, or furniture. I just need to be cleaned regularly."
"Later, I found a rabbit. It was only a few days old and was missing a leg. It only had a thin layer of fur. You can't imagine how happy I was. Finally, someone could keep me company. I could sleep with it and talk to it. I secretly took it home and raised it. Every day after school, the first thing I did was to go to the kitchen and steal vegetable leaves to feed it. Anyway, no one paid attention to me. I raised it for a long time."
“But Yu Zhengcheng found out. When I came home from school that day, he was sitting on the sofa, his hand around its neck, and it was kicking its legs… Then… in front of me… he… killed it! I wanted to cry and scream, but I didn’t dare. I had to keep quiet in this house. I always remember that. I thought I could just admit my mistake and that I was wrong. I said I shouldn’t have kept it, but… Yu Zhengcheng just shoved the rabbit into my mouth… and forced me to eat it!”
"...I ate it, I dared not not eat it, I dared not. The rabbit had just died, the blood was still hot, it smeared all over my mouth...it was very fishy...very salty, its newly grown fur was still so soft...it was stuck in my throat, I just couldn't swallow it...I couldn't swallow it!...I was eight years old that year. I didn't protect my friend."
"I don't know why Yu Zhengcheng did this. And I don't dare to ask."
"After that day, I started to envy Lan Zhong again. Because, Dad isn't Dad, Dad is the devil in fairy tales who steals people's souls."
The drawing paper was covered with paint and then soaked with tears.
A coffin, a little man, an empty big house, a four-leaf clover necklace and a watch, and finally, the rabbit.
Lu Chenyang's hands trembled violently, and his eyes burned. He clenched his teeth, afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would burst into uncontrollable sobs. He had to stay calm!
From the beginning of the narration, Lu Chenyang remained silent, neither daring to interrupt nor able to.
Bai Hua had warned him not to interfere unless the patient actively sought it. Yu Sheng's problem wasn't simply psychological trauma, but rather mental damage; his brain... had suffered physical damage.
At this moment, Yu Sheng was as fragile as that rabbit, and he was his only support. But his heart ached, ached as if someone were stabbing him with knives and stirring him inside, not stopping until his heart was reduced to a pulp.
He couldn't imagine what a catastrophe it would be for such a young child to be intimidated, brainwashed, and subjected to both psychological and physical control, living in a completely silent world, and even having to watch helplessly as the only life they could rely on for warmth was brutally murdered, and then forced to swallow that furry, bloody flesh... He felt a chill run down his spine.
Yu Sheng seemed oblivious to Lu Chenyang's unusual behavior. He was completely immersed in that dark world, personally dissecting his own skin to dig out the rotten, pus-filled lesions that kept him awake at night and made him "abnormal," laying them out under the light to show people, and then chopping them up piece by piece.
"Later... I never dared to keep any living creatures again... nor dared to make friends... Fortunately... fortunately, there were still Lan Yi and Lan Zhong..." Yu Sheng's pen softened again, drawing three crooked little figures on the paper. A tall figure was leading two short figures, and a large, radiant sun was drawn above their heads. "Yu Zhengcheng always had to put on a show; he couldn't stop me from associating with the Lan family."
"I think that as long as I behave well in front of Yu Zhengcheng, and become more obedient, I can live on my own when I grow up. I will also have more friends, the kind of friends who I am not afraid of being discovered, who I can tell secrets to, and who I can live with. I will protect my friends, I definitely will."
"Grandpa told me that I am good, beautiful and smart, and that I deserve to be loved by everyone and deserve all the good things in this world. I believe Grandpa, and I believe my future life will be wonderful. I just need to grow up quickly."
"but……"
Yu Sheng's pen tip became heavy and messy again. He drew a lonely island on the paper, with only a bridge connecting it to the other side.
“When I was ten, I accidentally let something slip to Brother Lan, and the next day a lot of people came to my house. Yu Zhengcheng told me... he said he was going to send me to study abroad. I didn't dare say I didn't want to go. But when I got there, I found out that it wasn't a school at all, but a closed-off... mental hospital built on an island!”
Yu Sheng grabbed another sheet of drawing paper and sketched two squares side by side, painted completely black, with only a narrow, pale gap in the middle.
“This is the wardrobe.” Yu Sheng’s voice was dry. “When I was in the mental hospital for about half a year, I was locked in there… for about thirty hours? I can’t remember.”
“There, they gave me medicine every day, lots and lots of medicine, which I didn’t want to take… After taking that medicine, I would sleep for a very long time, but it was a restless sleep, and I would be aware of everything happening around me… When I woke up, I would feel nauseous and keep vomiting… and my vision would also become blurry… To avoid taking the medicine, I would hide in the closet before those people came…”
He continued to scribble on the square that symbolized darkness, "I want to wait until no one is around before I climb out..." Yu Sheng's pen suddenly stopped, and then, as if driven by something, he frantically scribbled on the crack in the center of the paper that symbolized light!
Yu Sheng mechanically applied the ink until the "gap in the wardrobe" was completely swallowed up by the thick ink, leaving not a trace of light. "The person left, I pushed the door, but it wouldn't open. I heard the sound of chains... I was locked inside. I heard someone outside say that if I didn't take my medicine obediently, I should hide inside and not come out. In winter, they turned off the heating in the room... It was so cold... I was so hungry... I begged them to let me out, I said I was wrong, I was scared, I would take my medicine obediently..."
“I don’t know how much time has passed, maybe a day, maybe two… I thought I would freeze to death or starve to death… They released me… But the person who had been supervising me to take my medicine, actually…” The more Yu Sheng spoke, the more panicked she became, her pupils began to dilate, and her whole body trembled uncontrollably.
Lu Chenyang finally couldn't bear it any longer and quickly pulled her into his arms, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, Asheng, it's all over now."
Yu Sheng huddled in Lu Chenyang's arms, even her sobs were hesitant. "He took off my clothes, pulled down my pants. I knew, I knew what he was going to do. I'd seen others do this in the mental hospital. I knew he wanted to assault me... I was so scared. I begged him not to. I said I'd be obedient, I'd take my medication, I'd never hide again. But he wouldn't stop. He tied me to the bed with one of those abdominal binders. I couldn't break free; he tied me too tightly... I was so scared, Lu Chenyang, I was terrified. I resisted... I bit him until he bled... I didn't let him touch me, I didn't! Lu Chenyang, you're my first! My first! My first!"
"I know, I know." Lu Chenyang kissed him as gently as he could. But his teeth were chattering; his precious young master, whom he held in the palm of his hand, had actually...
My heart aches, my heart aches, my heart aches. Even being pierced by a thousand arrows wouldn't feel like this. I wish I could take the pain for myself.
Lu Chenyang had always adhered to the principles of a law-abiding citizen. This was the first time he had ever had the thought of killing someone. Killing them wasn't enough; they should be chopped up. They all deserved to die.
But there's nothing he can do now. The only thing he can give him is a hug.
After a long while, Yu Sheng stepped out of Lu Chenyang's arms. He picked up his pen again and drew an ice cube on the paper, labeling it "ECT". Next to it was a simple bed with a small human figure on it, bound by ropes, with lines extending from the cube connecting to its head and body.
“I bit someone, and they tied me up…and used electric shocks…ECT…it hurts…but it won’t leave a mark…it hurts so much…I felt like I was going to die…I begged them to stop, I said I was wrong, but they acted like they didn’t hear me, it really hurts…it hurts so much…” He kept repeating “it hurts so much,” his pen tip leaving deep dents on the paper.
Yu Sheng's tears flowed like a burst dam, large drops cascading down his face and soaking his clothes. Yet, the corners of his mouth stubbornly curved upwards into a near-perfect smile, revealing his cute little tiger tooth. He was smiling, constantly smiling, but the tears kept flowing.
"..." Lu Chenyang's throat tightened, all his voice breaking in his chest. He wanted to hold him tightly, but his arms felt like they were filled with lead, too heavy to lift. It was as if the person on the drawing paper, bound and pierced by electric current, was himself, and that heart-wrenching pain had seeped into his limbs and bones.
He recalled that early morning at the Birch Clinic, where even the faintest electrical hum was enough to freeze Yu Sheng instantly, turning her into a soulless puppet... How many inhuman tortures and electric shocks must she have endured for her body to choose the most complete surrender before her consciousness could collapse: giving up the struggle, giving up the resistance, and remaining motionless and "obedient" even in the face of extreme fear?
"You cried?" Yu Sheng tilted her head to look at him, her eyes carrying a strange clarity.
He leaned closer, extended his tongue, and like a kitten, gently licked away the tear stains on Lu Chenyang's face. "It's so good to have you, Lu Chenyang... The tears you shed for me... are all sweet."
He smiled and took the initiative to kiss Lu Chenyang's lips, once, twice, still the same gentle, soothing pecks.
"I don't feel any pain anymore... really..." His forehead pressed against Lu Chenyang's, their breaths mingling. "With you here, I don't feel any pain at all."
He was like a barefoot child lost in the cold streets, clutching his heart, which he had painstakingly dug out of his own chest and was still faintly beating. Stumbling along, he would hold up that blood-dripping, dust-covered "heart" high to everyone he met, his eyes filled with desperate hope: Would you accept it? ...Could you dig out your heart for me too?
Most passersby were terrified by the horrifying sight and hurriedly retreated. Some, however, were drawn to the pearls, jade, gold, and silver scattered from his open chest, and, suppressing their disgust, accepted the "heart," only to discard it like trash at the next deserted corner.
The child silently picked up the trampled "heart" and clumsily wiped away the stains. If this person doesn't want it, then... let's find the next one.
Finally, someone approached him. That person didn't reach out to take the heart, nor even glance at the scattered treasures. He simply knelt down slowly and carefully put a pair of warm, well-fitting shoes on the child's cold, bare feet. Then, he reached out, gently and with utmost care, and tenderly and firmly placed the heart, which had almost stopped beating in the cold wind and was nearly dried up, back into his chest.
Thump...
Thump...
Thump...
My heart started beating again, my blood began to circulate, and I felt warmth again after a long time.
“…Ah Sheng.” Lu Chenyang used all his strength to pull him tightly into his arms, showering him with hot kisses on his hair, forehead, and cheeks, repeatedly murmuring, “It doesn’t hurt anymore, it won’t hurt anymore, it will never hurt again.”
“…I’m sorry.” Yu Sheng’s voice was muffled in his arms.
"Why apologize?" Lu Chenyang didn't loosen his grip even slightly.
"I'm sorry I hurt you."
"Are you still willing to tell me?" Lu Chenyang forced himself to calm his turbulent emotions, stepped back slightly, and looked deeply into Yu Sheng's eyes with his eyes thick with tears. At this moment, Yu Sheng appeared as fragile as the small figure on a drawing.
"Um."
“I still can’t understand… why Yu Zhengcheng treated me like this, why he threw me into a mental hospital…” Yu Sheng raised her head and looked at Lu Chenyang, “When I was eleven years old… Yu Zhengcheng came to the mental hospital for the first time, but not to visit me, he came to see if I had really gone crazy. He wanted me to go crazy.”
He paused, as if announcing a secret of relief, “I am not Yu Zhengcheng’s biological son. He wanted to fight for the family fortune, but he himself… couldn’t have children. So he had my mother go to the sperm bank for IVF… Therefore, I am not his son. My grandfather doted on me, and before he died, he left a will in which I inherited a portion of his estate and shares. Perhaps my grandfather also discovered Yu Zhengcheng’s purpose. In his will, he stated that if I died before adulthood, regardless of the cause of death, all the property I inherited should be donated to charity.”
“Yu Zhengcheng is sick… The day he came to the mental hospital, I had just had an ECT scan and was strapped to the bed, with electrodes still attached to my head. Yu Zhengcheng was still the same as always, wiping away my tears with exceptional gentleness, rubbing my head, and asking if it hurt. It was as if, as if he would take me away if I said it hurt. But I didn’t want to be locked up in the mental hospital for the rest of my life. I wanted to leave. I told him, ‘Dad, I was wrong. I’ll be good. You can do whatever you want. Take me away. It hurts too much here.’”
"But he only looked at me for a while and then left. Later I found out that he was jealous of me, hated me, wanted me dead, and was also afraid of me dying. So he didn't hit me, he 'tamed' me, brainwashed me, made me listen to him, and made him the only person in my world... Fortunately, my sister lived at school from junior high and almost never came home... She wasn't involved... Maybe... she's his biological daughter, so even a tiger wouldn't eat its own cub?"
“He was afraid he couldn’t control me and was afraid of being exposed, so he threw me into that island mental hospital. He wanted me to become a real mental patient so that he could seize all my shares and the inheritance my grandfather left me.”
“But I didn’t want to become mentally ill, and I didn’t want to die. I started trying to escape. Many times, I failed every time, and the punishment was always ECT. But I knew they wouldn’t let me die, so as long as they didn’t electrocute me, I had hope, I would escape, I had to get out of there. I had to live.”
"Then..." Lu Chenyang's voice was extremely hoarse, the immense pain almost rendering him speechless, "How did you..."
"Thank goodness!" Yu Sheng quickly pulled out the paper with three little people and the sun drawn on it from the pile of drawings covering the bed, and pointed her fingertip hard at the head of the tallest little person. "It's him! Lan Yi! Brother Lan, he was the first to notice something was wrong. I don't know exactly what Brother Lan did, but he and my godmother 'stole' me from the mental hospital and let me stay at their house, and took me to Bai Hua for treatment."
A genuine and warm light finally ignited in his eyes. "Later, I don't know what methods they used, but they forced Yu Zhengcheng to stop approaching me and even helped me retain a lot of Dongyao's shares."
“…I’m free. Five years, three months, and twenty-seven days. And then, I’m free.” Yu Sheng let out a deep breath, her smile filled with the relief of surviving a disaster. Her fingers gently brushed across the sun above Lan Yi’s head on the paper. “Brother Lan… saved me.”
So, I'm still alive, and that's good enough.
“Later, I studied acting in college. I wanted to become a big star like my mother.” Yu Sheng’s eyes suddenly dimmed, and his relaxed body tensed up again. “But the year I graduated… Yu Zhengcheng suddenly came to find me again… I… I was so scared… so pathetic… He just took one step forward… I…” A sense of shame welled up, and his voice was barely audible, “…I was so scared that I immediately knelt down… because… kneeling down worked…”
He looked up at Lu Chenyang, his eyes filled with a mixture of grievance, shame, and a deep-seated fear. "It really works... He likes it that way... When we were little... it always worked like that..."
“He wouldn’t let me be an actress… He said letting me study acting for a few years was already a favor… He said actors are just entertainers… My mother is one… He said his ‘son’ Yu Zhengcheng couldn’t go out and sell his smiles… I disagreed…” Yu Sheng’s breathing became rapid. “That time… was the first time I directly defied him, and it was also the first time he… left a visible scar on my body…”
Lu Chenyang's heart sank, his gaze involuntarily drawn to Yu Sheng's smooth left shoulder: there, beneath a large, vibrant cluster of poppy tattoos, the skin still showed an unusual protrusion. He had touched and kissed that spot more than once, but had never dared to ask about it.
Yu Sheng raised his hand, his fingertips trembling slightly as he unbuttoned the top few buttons of his pajamas, revealing his left shoulder. He pointed to the cluster of vibrant poppies: "He used boiling water... a whole pot... which was originally... meant to be poured over my head..." He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he was filled with lingering fear and relief, "But I'm no longer that child who could only kneel down... I dodged... the boiling water... ended up here."
"Give me another kiss, Officer Lu..." Yu Sheng tilted his head back and brought the scarred skin closer, his voice as soft as a sigh, "Give me one more kiss... and it won't hurt anymore..." He seemed to be comforting himself, and also comforting the man in his arms whose heart was broken because of him.
Lu Chenyang leaned down and kissed that skin with utmost tenderness. His cold, trembling lips, filled with devout pity, gently rubbed against it again and again, as if trying to completely dispel the long-standing burning pain.
"Don't worry..." Yu Sheng felt his warmth, and her voice gradually became calm. "I won't be alone anymore. I will have friends and many people who are willing to help me. That's why I have Shu Ye. I will stay far away from him. I'm afraid of him. I will also stay far away from Dongyao Bank. It belongs to my sister. No one can take it away from me, not even myself!"
"You have me now too." Lu Chenyang raised his head and kissed his forehead with utmost solemnity, each word carrying immense weight.
Yu Sheng is like a jeweled scepter with winding cracks, its handle carved with majestic totems, but if you hold it tightly, you will find that those patterns are all distress signals.
He used the handle of the whip to lift other people's chins, just to hide his own trembling desire to have his neck choked.
Lu Chenyang cupped his face, kissed his red eyelids, wrapped a thick cashmere coat around his shoulders, then picked up the pile of drawings on the bed that held endless darkness and walked outside.
"Come here, Ah Sheng."
Yu Sheng followed him to the living room, somewhat bewildered. She saw Lu Chenyang push open the floor-to-ceiling glass door to the balcony, and a biting winter wind instantly rushed in.
He then brought over a large, unused terracotta flowerpot and, without hesitation, stuffed all the stacks of drawing paper covered with painful lines and ink blots into it.
"Light it." Lu Chenyang placed a lighter into Yu Sheng's cold palm.
Crack.
A pale blue flame leaped out and licked the edge of the paper.
Sizzle—
Flames suddenly erupted! Greedily devouring the twisted wardrobe, the broken rabbit, the cold ECT cube, the bound little man... The paper quickly curled, charred, and turned to ash in the high temperature.
The orange-red flames flickered, illuminating Yu Sheng's pale face and Lu Chenyang's deep eyes. Those unbearable, bloody fragments of childhood, those bone-chilling fears and nightmares, amidst the crackling and popping of the flames and the rising, swirling smoke, gradually turned into nothingness ashes, swept away by the biting night wind into the dark void.
"...Now," Yu Sheng gazed at the leaping flames, her voice as soft as a dream, "I guess I'm a 'normal person' now."
Yu Sheng's desire for 'normality' is to be able to love openly, to hold hands, hug, kiss, be intimate, and go to bed... This once unattainable luxury is now within reach under the firelight.
“No one can define the boundaries of ‘normal’.” Lu Chenyang’s voice was deep and firm. He reached out and tightly grasped Yu Sheng’s cold fingers, their fingers intertwined, conveying warmth.
You can hate the world, you can hate everyone. I will still love you.
Lu Chenyang held the trembling child in his arms, pressing the child's head against his shoulder. His voice was gentle, "I've heard a story that says every child has a white knight in heaven who protects him. This white knight can appear in many forms, perhaps as a warrior in armor, or perhaps as the guardian in your dreams. No matter what form he takes, he will descend when you need him most, and then... he will take your hand... little by little, lead you out of that deepest, coldest darkness."
Lu Chenyang kissed the forehead of the person in his arms and whispered, "Yu Sheng, I am willing to be your knight in shining armor."
Her heart felt as if it were being gently enveloped by a pair of warm hands, a mixture of soreness and overflowing emotion. Yu Sheng sniffed, her eyes stinging, "...You've come...so late."
"I'm sorry," Lu Chenyang lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on Yu Sheng's forehead, "I'm late."
The kiss was extremely light and shallow, the two soft lips barely touching before parting. Yet, Yu Sheng felt that all the heaviness and unbearable burdens of the past dissipated in the warmth of that kiss.
He closed his eyes, and an absurd thought arose in his mind: gratitude towards Yu Zhengcheng.
No matter how unbearable the purpose, methods, or process may be, at least he brought himself into this world, endured the long night, and finally waited for his own white knight.
“Lu Chenyang…” Yu Sheng raised his head, the firelight dancing deep within his beautiful eyes, reflecting Lu Chenyang’s gentle features. He looked into those eyes that had wept for him, those eyes that had burned for him, and said clearly, word by word, “I’m sorry. Thank you.”
"Thank me for what? And apologize to me for what?" Lu Chenyang pulled his coat tighter, his calloused fingers affectionately stroking his lips.
"Thank you for loving me." And... I'm sorry, I can't let you go. I'll haunt you like a demon, so... just keep suffering with me, and live with me. My symbiote.
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