41. Bad Fruit
In mid-to-late September, Jiangming City was experiencing relentless rain and a sudden drop in temperature. Tang Sizhuo, still recovering from a persistent cold, spoke with a nasal voice and a listless demeanor. Zeng Xiasheng hesitated, holding off on telling her about Qiu Shishi's condition, hoping to find a better time to discuss it. But Tang Sizhuo, unusually impatient, repeatedly inquired about whether the information had been delivered.
After being scolded that day by Xiao Tong for not understanding human relations, Tang Sizhuo reflected on her feelings and could not recall any good she had done for Zeng Xiasheng. Over the years they had known each other, he had always been there, listening, and giving. Tang Sizhuo reflected on this: Zeng Xiasheng was a hardworking man with a cold exterior but a kind heart, always caring for everyone he made friends with. But it was by chance that he encountered her troubles that he had become burdened with all his sensitivity and timidity, a bottomless pit of tears and complaints.
When will I get tired?
Tang Sizhuo didn't dare to think about it.
Therefore, she finally found a wish of Zeng Xiasheng, and no matter who the benefit would eventually fall on, she wanted to spare no effort to help realize it, as if this could barely be counted as a few insignificant favors, so that the scales would not be tilted to one side, showing that she was always asking for things and had no contribution.
Zeng Xiasheng naturally noticed her eccentricity. Tracing back to the time when she failed the pre-admission or even earlier, Tang Sizhuo was no longer as unbridled in front of him as she was in her childhood. Sometimes she acted with an indescribable deliberateness, as if she noticed that certain words and actions would make him happy, so she would repeat them specifically to show her joy.
He couldn't figure out the reason, but he felt as if Tang Sizhuo was shrinking back, shrinking back, into the deepest shell, so deep that even he couldn't get in. Fortunately, she was still willing to take care of Qiu Shishi's affairs. Even though she was busy with Xiao Tong's newly added TOEFL courses, she still called and texted from time to time to ask if Qiu Shishi had reported to school.
October arrived, and before the National Day holiday began, Qiu Shishi still hadn't returned to school. The new school was much more standardized, with a college entrance exam class focused on academic subjects. When her teachers heard Qiu Shishi was doing well and wanted to take the college entrance exam, they approached her several times, but nothing came of it. Regardless of her wishes, she was almost certain to drop out of school; the only question was whether her student status would be retained. Zeng Xiasheng vaguely overheard others say they'd seen her once at school, but despite asking around, even reaching her ex-boyfriend, who was rumored to have been dumped, he still couldn't find any trace of her.
Jiangming wasn't a big city, but there were plenty of ways to make a living without studying, so it wasn't uncommon for vocational high school students to drop out. When Zeng Xiasheng's classmates transferred here, there were about 20 or 30 fewer students. While tuition hadn't increased, housing and living expenses had become significantly more expensive. Some, finding the costs too high, simply went to work. Others, like Li Zhiheng, were caught skipping classes three times a week and transferred out of shame. And then there were the older sisters from rural areas who were forced to return home to work or get married.
However, Qiu Shishi should not be like this.
Zeng Xiasheng often thought of her eyes when he sat dazed in class, unable to understand what was being said. Her dark pupils seemed innately connected to the earth, eternally calm. Even when exhausted, their whites bloodshot, they held no trace of moisture. It was as if they could transcend crowds, scale hills, and sail with the mighty river, bound for ever beyond.
He couldn't think of any reason to convince Qiu Shishi to stay here.
Tang Sizhuo's packed documents were always kept by his bedside. Zeng Xiasheng would cover them with his quilt every morning before leaving the house, lest his grandmother sell them as scrap. He could have lied and said he had handed them over; Tang Sizhuo and Qiu Shishi had only met once, so there was no need to add to her worries. But Zeng Xiasheng couldn't lie after hearing her voice. In the end, to avoid feeling guilty about telling the truth, he even took a desperate gamble and headed to the suburbs where he had encountered Qiu Shishi.
On the last day of the National Day holiday, customer traffic was noticeably down, so the foreman readily agreed to his request for leave, allowing him to leave after lunch. Zeng Xiasheng rode the bus for over an hour to the spot where he had met Tang Sizhuo months before. He followed a small path deeper into the valley. The greenhouse that had previously grown strawberries had been completely replaced with plastic film, and the overweight woman who had previously sat on a small bench collecting fees was nowhere to be seen at the entrance.
Although the rain had stopped pouring, it was still drizzling, and the sun never came out. Zeng Xiasheng trudged along the muddy dirt road, his feet deep and his feet shallow. He vaguely saw someone busy inside, seemingly spraying pesticides. He peered inside and saw that the man was wrapped up tightly. From behind, he looked like a slightly overweight middle-aged man.
The crops in the greenhouse had been replaced with fruit cucumbers, which were growing well. Zeng Xiasheng held on to a last glimmer of hope, thinking that perhaps Qiu Shishi was carefully tending to them. After the man finished spraying a row and turned around, he raised his voice and asked, "Is Qiu Shishi here?"
When Tang Sizhuo arrived by taxi, it was drizzling again. She had rushed out when Sun Changming and Xiao Tong were out for a social event, without an umbrella, so she had to hide in the crack under someone else's eaves.
A month into the semester, the books still hadn't been delivered. Zeng Xiasheng had no choice but to confess in a text message yesterday that he hadn't found Qiu Shishi at all. Tang Sizhuo wasn't surprised. She'd guessed things weren't going well over two weeks ago, when Zeng Xiasheng was evasive. But this was his friend; it was Zeng Xiasheng's decision how to proceed. Tang Sizhuo didn't want to seem overreaching, like the fool Xiao Tong described as "overreaching."
That being said, she speculated that Qiu Shishi's reason for dropping out might be financial. Zeng Xiasheng wanted to help, but he couldn't, and he wouldn't ask her for money. So even though he repeatedly told Tang Sizhuo to just wait for news at home, she still came.
Tucked into the pocket of her sweater, hidden beneath her windbreaker, was a thick red envelope. It was Sun Changming's reward for her success in both the high school entrance exam and the competition—8,888 yuan. Tang Sizhuo hadn't spent a cent, keeping it intact. She'd thought it through many times beforehand. She wouldn't interfere with Zeng Xiasheng's decision, but if he even hinted at the thought, the money was ready to go, to help anyone he wanted, to do anything he wanted.
Tang Sizhuo was standing nearby. He saw Zeng Xiasheng and the middle-aged man come out of the greenhouse and then chat for a long time. Occasionally, he could hear a few words. It was mostly the middle-aged man speaking, his dialect thick and hard to make out. The man started out with heated words, then sighed and finally waved Zeng Xiasheng away, finally saying something Tang Sizhuo could understand: "Don't look for her anymore. Let her go."
Zeng Xiasheng turned around with a solemn expression, his shoulders slumped unusually, and his steps were heavy. He only realized Tang Sizhuo was standing under the eaves when he got very close.
"What's wrong?" Tang Sizhuo asked cautiously, "Is she okay?"
"I don't know." Zeng Xiasheng sighed softly. "She ran away because her parents forced her to get married. Her uncle said she didn't know where she got the money, that she was dropping out of school, and that she ran away after getting her ID card. She was last seen at the train station, but no one knows where she went."
Tang Sizhuo's eyes suddenly widened, and he said in a lost voice: "That money can't be——"
Zeng Xiasheng shook his head to stop her from continuing, took off his coat and put it over Tang Sizhuo's head to keep the rain out, then reached out and carried her behind him to prevent her apricot leather boots from getting sticky with mud and water.
As he walked forward, he tilted his head and whispered, "Her parents have already accepted the betrothal gift and don't want to return it. They don't dare to call the police, and they're still mobilizing people to look for her everywhere. We know nothing. You've never seen her."
Tang Sizhuo was tightly wrapped in the large coat. He leaned over his shoulder, his heart pounding. After a long while, he recovered and whispered in his ear, "But that's only five hundred yuan."
"Hard seats are cheap, so she can travel a long way. She's almost an adult, so it'll be easy for her to find a job. It'll be fine."
Zeng Xiasheng spoke with certainty, yet his heart felt uncertain. He had never left Jiangming since he was born, and had no idea what was happening outside. However, no one knew where Qiu Shishi was, and there was no way they could help. Zeng Xiasheng walked in silence for a long time. When he thought Tang Sizhuo had fallen asleep on his back, he heard her hesitantly ask, "Is it because of something at school that you're forcing her to get married now?"
Zeng Xiasheng's heart tightened, but he pretended to be calm and continued walking as if nothing had happened. He deliberately concealed the fact that Qiu Shishi was forced to marry, but unexpectedly Tang Sizhuo still guessed it.
The children nearby came from similar backgrounds, many attending the same school. The news of the vocational high school scandal spread throughout the countryside as the students returned home for the summer. Neighbors were gossiping, mocking the Qiu family for their significant loss. They had hoped their daughter would earn a high school diploma and receive tens of thousands in dowry to build a house, but now they'd realized she might not even be a virgin. The families who had previously frequently sought matchmaking services with them have since withdrawn, fearing they'd be drawn into the controversy. They've quickly distanced themselves from any involvement, settling for less attractive women. Fearing she'd become a real problem, Qiu Shishi's parents approached a still-unknown family in Lin County, eager to marry her off.
Zeng Xiasheng didn't dare to reveal a single word to Tang Sizhuo, and evasively said, "It's somewhat related, but she's very strong and doesn't care at all. Don't worry."
He repeatedly expressed his admiration for Qiu Shishi's independence and composure, and Tang Sizhuo took it all in, feeling distressed, even overwhelming her concern for her. While she blamed herself for being so petty and calculating over such important matters, she also secretly suspected that Zeng Xiasheng might have perceived her as someone who was a source of worry wherever she went.
At least she shouldn't have to be carried by him like a child anymore. Tang Sizhuo struggled to get down and walk by herself, but Zeng Xiasheng didn't let go until they walked through the mud and stood on the concrete road before letting her down.
"What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
Tang Sizhuo lowered his eyes, his face hidden under the brim of his coat and hat, and said in a voice so low that it was almost inaudible, "That's better, isn't it?"
Zeng Xiasheng was stunned for a few seconds before he reacted. Hearing her slight crying voice, he quickly denied it: "No, I didn't mean that. It's fine for you to be the way you are now—"
However, this is not entirely correct.
During the summer vacation, Zeng Xiasheng had indeed considered the possibility of Tang Sizhuo and Qiu Shishi meeting again. Perhaps witnessing the older sister's indifferent attitude, dismissive of any criticism, would have given Tang Sizhuo more reason to reassure herself. But this wasn't about being superior or inferior; it was simply a wish for her to relieve her mental burden and live a better life. Zeng Xiasheng's forehead was sweating with anxiety, and he opened and closed his mouth, like the Chinese teacher who said, "Dumplings in a teapot," unable to pour them out.
He squatted down and looked up at Tang Sizhuo, and found that she was indeed in tears, with her face turned to the side, trying hard to suppress the rise and fall of her chest.
Zeng Xiasheng recalled her recent abnormal behavior and suddenly realized, "You, you have been thinking about this recently, right?"
Tang Sizhuo nodded slowly, his sweaty hair drooping on his cheeks, his nose red, and he muttered in self-abandonment, "I feel so useless, I can't help you at all. I originally thought, I thought I could help you with this matter once..."
"You helped." Zeng Xiasheng pulled her arm and shook it, forcing a smile to coax her, and lowered his voice and said, "Without the five hundred yuan, she can't get away."
"It's different. That's money for you, the money you wanted to give her." Tang Sizhuo felt that the more he cried, the more useless he looked. But he couldn't control himself and fell into Zeng Xiasheng's arms. His tears and snot rubbed against his neck. He said vaguely, "You are the one who treats me well. You can be good to anyone. I have nothing to help you with..."
"No, I won't do that to anyone—no, that's not what I meant. You did give me the money, but I also asked you, and I only gave it to Qiu Shishi because you agreed to give it to her. I thought of adding the meal card to hers because I was thinking of you."
Zeng Xiasheng racked his brains to form his words, but his speech was still incoherent. Tang Sizhuo didn't understand, and couldn't stop crying. Tears flowed down Zeng Xiasheng's collar and onto his chest, piercing his heart. His panicked eyes searched everywhere, trying to find some clever words from the woodland and rice fields. He suddenly remembered the fruit cucumbers growing in the greenhouse and asked Tang Sizhuo without thinking, "Do you know that you need to build a trellis to grow cucumbers?"
The new topic was so baffling that Tang Sizhu was temporarily distracted. Tears as big as beans hung down his eyelashes, and he stared at him with watery eyes. He sobbed and asked in a hoarse voice, "What is it?"
"That's right, when you plant cucumbers, you have to build a trellis to make them climb." Zeng Xiasheng released his arm from around her and gestured excitedly in front of him, "Otherwise, the cucumber vines will grow all over the ground, without sunlight or good air, and they'll get sick."
Tang Sizhuo blinked, as if he understood what he meant, but also as if he didn't.
"That rack—"
Zeng Xiasheng stood up, gently wiped away the tears from her eyes, and looked into Tang Sizhuo's eyes gently and encouragingly.
"That trellis doesn't need to bear fruit, and it can't be watered or fertilized, but only when it's standing in the ground can the cucumbers not produce bad fruits."
The drizzle gradually stopped and the sun suddenly came out. He picked up Tang Sizhuo and carried him back on his back.
"Why didn't you think I'd join in on Qiu Shishi's talk? Didn't you think I'd gloat over their misfortune and happily retell their stories to you? Do you think I'm any different from them?"
He tilted his head and rubbed Tang Sizhuo's forehead, calling her name softly, "Tang Sizhuo, I'm different from you. I wasn't born a good person. I've stolen things and cheated people. The reason I became what I am now is because I didn't grow up on the ground. I know which direction the sun is pointing."
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