Su Rong didn’t know what to say.
That day, she sat by the fire, brewing tea for a long time, so long that her legs had gone numb, before she figured it out.
She held onto the idea that she was doing this for herself and for Zhou Gu, stubbornly terminating their engagement against his will. She was incredibly forceful, utterly heartless, and unbelievably careless. She convinced herself she had done nothing wrong. It was just a short acquaintance of a mere month, slight feelings had developed, but could they be edible? Could they be worth losing her life over? That’s why she left no room for herself to retreat. Meeting Ye Guixue and not leaving any room for herself to regret, she unhesitatingly accepted the Military Talisman he handed over.
She striding towards a path opposite to Zhou Gu’s, she never thought about being entangled with him again.
Therefore, when Zhou Gu looked at her with dark, tormented eyes, a voice hoarse and the corners of his eyes red, she belatedly realized that maybe she was wrong.
She underestimated herself, and she overestimated Zhou Gu.
She took her carefree attitude to the extreme, but she forgot about the young man. He was a rough gemstone untouched. Prior to going to Jiangning County, he had always been in the Eastern Palace studying the virtues and the strategies of statecraft. His heart harbored bold ambitions, but when it came to love, he was as innocent as a blank sheet of paper. How could he withstand her cunning schemes and tests?
Therefore, her light brushstrokes, which were mere doodles to her, became indelible ink stains in his eyes.
If she had ruined someone’s future, should she take responsibility for it?
But how should she take responsibility?
She looked at Ye Guixue and fell silent for a long time before admitting softly, "Because of Zhou Gu. But not just because of him."
Every time she faced Zhou Gu, she had a vague feeling of cowardice. If she had known earlier... if she had known...
If she had known earlier that Zhou Gu couldn’t let her go, would she still have unhesitatingly accepted Ye Guixue’s Tiger Talisman?
Probably not.
If not, is it too late to correct it?
Ye Guixue’s face was slightly pale, "What did Lord Zhou do? What made you change your mind, have regrets about your own choices? Is there something I didn’t do well enough?"
Su Rong shook her head and honestly said, "Guixue, you are very good, you are just right for me in every way. In terms of reputations, you are world-renowned. In terms of character, you are one in ten thousand. No matter if it is about birth, status, ability, or family background, you are the best choice for me to go to Nanchu. Not to mention, there are also a hundred thousand soldiers willing to serve me as a betrothal gift. When I first met you, I knew very clearly that as long as I am not a fool, I should accept your Tiger Talisman. We have been together for a long time, you should be able to feel, when I accepted your Tiger Talisman, I had made up my mind and put my whole heart into it."
Once she started speaking, the words flowed easily.
She looked into Ye Guixue’s eyes and sighed helplessly, "However, even though my heart is as hard as iron, as firm as black ice, I can’t help but soften for one person. As long as he stands in front of me, looking at him, I just can’t help but soften. Softening now may not be a big deal, but if it is overlooked, it may become a major issue in the future. I dare not imagine that one day I might not resist going crazy with him and causing harm."
She felt utterly helpless, "By then, he will be the target of public criticism, and I will be labeled as a traitor. Therefore, I cannot allow Zhou Gu to become the target of public criticism someday while I am being despised by everyone."
Ye Guixue was gradually understanding, "Lord Zhou...he..."
Su Rong nodded and said sincerely, "He can’t let me go. He would rather give up the meticulous grooming from Duke Lao and the Eastern Palace, abandon the promising path of becoming an Auxiliary Minister for the Crown Prince in the future, and plans to follow me to Nanchu. His mind is made up, so it’s impossible to change it."
Ye Guixue pursed his lips.
"He said he wouldn’t interfere between us, he just wants to be with me and help me, but how can I bear that?" Su Rong pinched her fingers until they turned red. She said helplessly, "Zhou Gu, is in fact, very proud at heart. Knowing that you and I are engaged, he still does things he cannot do, things he himself feels ashamed of, things that are against his upbringing. How can I remain indifferent? I’m not a good person, having faced countless assassination attempts since childhood, I consider myself tough, that there is nothing I can’t let go of. But he has the ability to soften my heart."
She rubbed her brows hard until her forehead turned red. She continued, "Guixue, I am very selfish and only look for benefits. Regardless of the consequences, I have admitted that I am not a good person, you should have realized it after all this time. Toward opponents like the Crown Prince and others, I can resort to any method, even kill without seeing blood. Even toward my siblings, I have been bullying my elder brother and sisters since we were children. If it wasn’t you standing in front of me right now, I would have used you to the fullest extent. Used you to return to Nanchu, used you to secure the prince’s position, used you to clear all obstacles, and then used you to ascend the throne. Then discard you when I’m done. After all, I have a black heart. But right now, it’s you standing in front of me, you are so kind, I can’t bear to use any depravity against you. So, I want to be honest with you, but also want to discuss with you. Do you think we could choose another path besides being a couple?"
Ye Guixue stared at Su Rong. The girl in front of him had sincere eyes and her candid words clearly came from the heart. Judging from her thoughtful speech, she must have given serious thought before coming to him.
These words were unexpected to him and made him feel uncomfortable.
From the age of thirteen, until he turned eighteen, he had spent five years, every day preparing to be her king and husband. He had never thought ... that she wouldn’t need him.
He was too confident.
He asked quietly, "Returning the Military Talisman, does that mean canceling our engagement?"
Su Rong nodded, "Yes, that’s what it means. After all, we only exchanged tokens, and haven’t signed a marriage contract."
"Isn’t there a possibility that you, being such a rational person, small feelings/desires in your eyes might just be like cloud and smoke. No matter what Lord Zhou does for you, you are still so coldly rational, knowing what you want. You won’t go mad with him and there will be no day like you imagined. And as for him, perhaps he is immature now, if he fails to obtain what he wants after a long time, he will give up." Ye Guixue looked at her, "Or is it possible that he is just fickle at the moment? He likes you and can’t let you go now, but it’s all because he can’t admit defeat. Perhaps, one day when he gets what he wants, he won’t cherish it anymore."
Su Rong did not refute these words and nodded, "That’s possible, but neither of us knows what will happen in the future. What you said is possible, and so is what I said."
Ye Guixue nodded, pursed his lips, and after being silent for a moment, he negotiated with Su Rong, "How about this? I agree to cancel the engagement, and you hold onto the Military Talisman. I will report it to my father and the king, but don’t tell Lord Zhou. Since you are giving Zhou Gu a chance, why not give me one too? Could you spare one more soft spot?"
As he spoke, he whispered, "As a condition, I will go home and convince my father that the Ye family will still support you and will follow your orders."
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