Xie Lin contemplated for two days but couldn’t swallow his disappointment, so he made a detour to the Eastern Palace, wishing to speak with Qin Luan face-to-face.
He was certain that he had feelings for Qin Luan. Although it was not to the point of desperation, it was an affection that he could not let go for a long time.
The day he visited the Eastern Palace, Qin Luan was cleaning the Crown Prince’s study with her helpers. Due to the fine weather, some books needed to be aired. She led the staff to move the books under the eaves for drying.
Xie Lin watched her from afar. He noticed that, having become a female official, she still carried some of her former self. She neither compromised her backbone nor became obsequious because of her humiliation as a slave. It seemed that she was not bullied in the Eastern Palace and was living a decent life.
Generally, when a family was convicted, women who were degraded into slavery were hardly ever well-treated. The fact that Qin Luan could become a female official in the Eastern Palace was, unquestionably, due to Zhou Gu’s influence. Otherwise, becoming a female official in the Eastern Palace was not an opportunity that just anyone could seize. Decent girls had to sell their bodies to the Imperial Court and after years of training, struggle step by step to that position, let alone slaves who hardly ever had a chance.
After observing for a moment, Xie Lin approached.
When Qin Luan saw Xie Lin, she was taken aback for a second and greeted him in institutional etiquette, "Prince Xie, the Crown Prince is not in the Residence."
Xie Lin looked at her and said, "I came to see you."
Qin Luan was stunned again.
Xie Lin directly said: "I have asked for the Crown Prince’s permission."
Qin Luan was trying to interpret the meaning of this sentence. Her hand, hidden in her sleeve, was tightly clenched. Confusion was written on her face, "Prince Xie came to see me, a servant? Is there anything I can do for you?"
"May I have a word with you in private?" Xie Lin said, glancing briefly at the small eunuchs and palace maids around them eager for gossip.
Qin Luan nodded.
Knowing the Eastern Palace well, she led Xie Lin to a quiet and spacious place. People in the distance could see them, but they were too far away to hear their conversation. This way, they could avoid falling into unnecessary speculation by others due to being out of sight while ensuring privacy.
Qin Luan stopped, lowering her voice slightly: "Here is fine. Prince Xie, please speak."
Xie Lin looked at her, piercing her eyes directly and asked, "You like Zhou Gu."
It was an affirmative sentence.
The color on Qin Luan’s face changed slightly.
Xie Lin was clever, especially after the training of the past year. His role at the Ministry of Justice required him to have discerning eyes to interrogate criminals. He knew the truth when Qin Luan’s face changed after his question. His mother did not deceive him; it was the fact.
Xie Lin asked again, "Do you still like him now?"
Qin Luan tightened her grip within her sleeve. She wanted to lower her head to avoid Xie Lin’s gaze but was held by his eyes. She forced herself to remain calm, having a vague understanding of Xie Lin’s purpose of visiting her today. Was she set to become a minor princess consort or merely a concubine of the Rui’an King Residence? She didn’t know. Yet she questioned herself, would she consent to marry Xie Lin? The Rui’an King Residence was highly respected, and Xie Lin himself was now favored by the Crown Prince. He wasn’t an ordinary profligate comparable to any family’s dandies. He was destined to be a pillar of the Imperial Court in the future. Many couldn’t dream of reaching the Rui’an King Residence’s threshold.
Xie Lin adored her, and she knew it. If she had initially been seized by him into the Rui’an King Residence, she would have accepted it. However, she had never given herself an option to choose that path. She didn’t have feelings for Xie Lin, and during the downfall of the Qin Family, she didn’t think about stepping into the Rui’an King Residence. Therefore, she sought her older brother’s help, hoping to rely on Zhou Gu. She wished to enter the Duke Residence, but she ultimately landed in the Eastern Palace.
Finally, she lowered her head and replied softly, "Prince Xie, I confess that I once had feelings for him, but I dare not harbor them now."
Xie Lin looked at the top of her head, "If the Qin family is acquitted, you still have to wait for several years. Are you willing to stay in the Eastern Palace as a female official all this time?"
Qin Luan pursed her lips, "My brother wrote to me, asking if I could go to Nanchu."
Once she arrived in Nanchu, the identity of a felony family member from the Qin family would be wiped away, just like her brother and those who followed Su Rong to Nanchu, including Ning Ze. He could never serve as an official again in Daliang in this lifetime. However, the situation was different in Nanchu. As long as Su Rong was willing to accept, it would be a new beginning.
Xie Lin asked, "Will you go?"
Qin Luan shook her head, "I haven’t decided yet."
Looking at her, Xie Lin said, "Unless you are granted amnesty, you have to stay in the Eastern Palace. Do you want amnesty?"
Qin Luan looked up.
No particular emotion could be detected on Xie Lin’s face as he stared into her eyes, asking, "If I were to marry you, could you come to love me?"
A tight grip ensnared Qin Luan’s heart. "Marry?"
"Yes, marry." Xie Lin nodded.
Qin Luan bit her lip, "Would the prince and princess agree?"
"They will." Xie Lin said, "I can make my own decisions."
Qin Luan saw the sincerity in Xie Lin’s eyes. After a moment, she lowered her head, her mind turning over a hundred, a thousand thoughts. If she said yes, she could escape her slave status and marry into the Rui’an King’s Residence, but what then? She didn’t like Xie Lin, to force herself to like him, her status would be elevated, but she would only end up trapped within his mansion, becoming his little princess, and finally his queen. But still, she wouldn’t be able to escape from the Rui’an King’s Residence.
She fancied Zhou Gu and was willing to be confined to the Duke’s Residence, but Zhou Gu had never given her a chance. She did not like Xie Lin, was she to be confined to the Rui’an King’s Residence? Could she be content with a steady life as his queen?
If it were in the past, she might have resigned herself to her fate, but now, she was unwilling to do so.
She was silent for a long while before she quietly said, "Thank you for your kind regard, little prince, but I am afraid I may not be able to reciprocate your affection. If I agreed to marry you without being able to give you the love you desire, wouldn’t we become a couple of resentment? You are sincere, but if I can’t reciprocate your feelings with an open heart, it would only harm both you and me."
A heavy stone seemed to drop from Xie Lin’s heart. He took a deep breath, "Alright, I was just asking. Since you feel that way, we shall leave it at that."
He turned around to leave.
The result was not what he wanted but at least, he felt that Qin Luan hadn’t been dishonest. He didn’t regret confessing his feelings.
Xie Lin left the Eastern Palace, expelled a deep breath, and rode away.
Halfway, a carriage emerged from a diagonal alley, almost startling Xie Lin’s horse. He quickly pulled on the reins and calmed his horse. He then saw the other coachman, a face full of lingering fear. Recognizing him, the coachman quickly apologized, "I beg your pardon, little Prince Xie. I am not skilled at handling horses, and I startled yours."
Xie Lin knew that he had been riding too fast after leaving the Eastern Palace. However, this coachman did seem to be a beginner, and their carriage had no identifying sign. But since the coachman recognized him, he must be from some noble estate. Puzzled, he asked, "Whose coachman are you?"
Before the coachman could answer, Duanhua pulled open the curtain and poked her head out, "He’s from my house."
Xie Lin was surprised, "Lady, why have you changed carriages?"
He remembered Duanhua’s carriage decorated with gold and jade, which was so extravagant that it could be recognized from a distance.
"My regular carriage broke down on the road yesterday, and they haven’t repaired it yet. The usual coachman has fallen ill due to the cold, so I had to make do with another carriage for the day." Duanhua sounded puzzled, "Where were you rushing off to? You almost overturned my carriage by riding so fast."
Xie Lin apologized, "I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I just left the Eastern Palace. Where are you headed, my lady?"
Duanhua responded, "I’m also going to the Eastern Palace." She asked, "Is the Crown Prince at the Eastern Palace today?"
Xie Lin shook his head, "The Crown Prince is not there."
Duanhua frowned, "Isn’t the Crown Prince off duty today?"
Xie Lin affirmed, "Indeed, he’s not there."
Duanhua looked at him curiously, "Knowing that the Crown Prince isn’t there, why did you go to the Eastern Palace?"
Xie Lin couldn’t possibly say he went there because of Qin Luan, so he was at a loss for words.
It didn’t seem like Adi wanted to pry anymore, "It doesn’t matter if he’s not there, I’m going to wait for him at the Eastern Palace." She finished her sentence, let the curtain fall back into place and ordered the coachman, "Go on, take it slow or I will dock your pay."
The words still sounded like they came from the arrogant lady he knew.
The coachman quickly agreed, becoming even more cautious.
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