Chapter 1
Kaka received Cristiano's game ticket, just like every time -
C: Bring your beautiful wife and children over, I have reserved the best box for you.
Kaka did not respond to the message, as usual every time.
But he knew he would go, just as he always did.
He did not tell Cristiano that he was divorced. Once again, he was already familiar with this. Kaka thought of this, subconsciously pulled the corner of his mouth, pulled his scarf slightly upwards to cover his face, and walked out of the airport bridge.
He returned to Spain, where he had spent the best and most unforgettable four years of his life.
——Maybe it can’t be said that way. He had been to many more places with Cristiano, and every moment with Cristiano was the most colorful and unforgettable moment in his gradually graying and withering world.
It was these wonderful memories that were trying to prevent and delay his world from turning into complete black and white.
Kaka is well aware that there is something restless and intense in his heart that is clamoring, and it becomes more and more eager to move every time he hears commentators screaming "GOAL! Cristiano Ronaldo!" on TV.
He took a deep breath, and when he came to his senses, he was already sitting in the stands of the Bernabeu, surrounded by fans who were waving their arms wildly and shouting the name of the team and the name of their king.
Cristiano Ronaldo.
The tip of his tongue pressed against his mouth, and in such a passionate atmosphere he almost shouted out the name he had thought of thousands of times and whispered aloud in the dark night.
But he bit the soft flesh in his mouth, and the pain made him sober up in an instant.
Kaka's eyes fell on the green field again, surrounded by overwhelming carnival, Cristiano Ronaldo! Another goal!
"Nice shot! Four to zero!..." It was the commentator's voice nearby. Kaka looked over and saw a pretty little boy next to him playing the live broadcast of the game.
Although he didn't understand why he had to watch the live broadcast when he was already at the scene, he didn't pay attention to the little boy's loudspeaker. He listened to the commentator excitedly counting Cristiano's several goals, the stats maniac, the goal machine.
"A beautiful goal! But this time Ronaldo did not make his signature celebration pose..." the commentator said again.
But Kaka didn't want to listen. He subconsciously leaned forward and stared at the man on the court.
There are traces of time engraved on that face. It is not as green as when he was young, but still very handsome. He still likes to make many small expressions like when he was young, which makes him look very lively.
He also knows that many young girls on social platforms like to call Cristiano and call him the beautiful legend of Portugal, which is correct and pertinent.
Those girls would never know how beautiful Cristiano could be, and that kind of beauty was something only he had the honor of embracing.
Cristiano.
Kaka smiled slightly. Even hearing the name made his soul tremble, feeling both pain and pleasure.
His Cristiano, Kaka thought, he could still clearly remember the other's little expression, how he would wrinkle his nose cutely and whimper in his arms at night, begging him to give him everything so that they could reach the other side, how he would insert his fingers into his hair and squeeze himself tightly into his chest, letting his nose be linger with the refreshing scent of the boy's aftershave.
Kaka didn't know why he remembered all that again. He shook his head and looked back at the man, still with many small expressions on his face -
For example, now, Cristiano frowned slightly. Although it did not seem obvious on the surface, Kaka knew Cristiano and knew that it was because he was not satisfied with the winning shot he shot. Even though he won, it was not beautiful enough.
Cristiano Ronaldo always holds himself to such high self-discipline and standards.
Kaka didn't know how fiery his eyes were at this moment, but when he saw the man jogging towards the corner on this side of the Bernabeu after winning the ball, he suddenly felt a sense of cringe and nervousness, and he hid himself deeper behind his scarf.
This corner stand was where he kissed Cristiano when he couldn't stand the torment of his crush at first. From then on, this place was like their secret garden. Whenever they won, they would run here tacitly, as if it was a joyful game.
Kaka didn't know why Cristiano was running here at this time. Was it because he happened to be close? Or is it because of that tacit game? But he remembered that this tacit little game was unilaterally cancelled by him a few years ago.
Kaka's heart was beating fast. Before he secretly came to watch each game, he would make a secret promise in his heart that if he won this game, he would go find Cristiano. No matter what the other party's attitude would be towards his appearance, he would go find him and be brave for once.
However, every time, when he realized that Cristiano was going to win, he became timid again and made other excuses for himself: it didn't work this time, maybe next time.
He was like a thief, sneaking up to see Cristiano, watching the light in his eyes when he won, as if he could steal a little to extend his time for another day.
But he never dared to stand in front of Cristiano. He was afraid of seeing the calmness in Cristiano's eyes. He was even more afraid of being stiff, embarrassed, and exposed in front of the other party, like an ugly clown.
God forgive my timidity and cowardice.
But this time, when Kaka saw Cristiano running towards their secret corner, his heart suddenly revived. Regardless of whether it was a coincidence or not, Kaka pursed his lips hard. He made up his mind that he would go find him after the game was over.
"Oh, we see Ronaldo seems to be looking up for something! He is looking in the direction of the stands! Is he looking at the family seats?"
"Oh, the camera just happened to cut to Ronaldo's family seats! But unfortunately, the family seats for this game are empty. It seems that Ronaldo is also a little disappointed..."
Kaka listened to the broadcast commentary played by the little boy next to his seat, and his heart suddenly tightened. He didn't expect the family seats to be empty. He thought at least Junior would be there.
He should have been there, should have cheered for Cristiano when he looked over, should have told him that he was always there and never missed a game.
A lot of regrets flashed through Kaka's mind in an instant, but he thought that he still had a chance to make up for it.
However, in the next moment, there was a sudden burst of thunderous cheers on the field and in the audience seats. Everyone stood up suddenly, but Kaka was blocked in the dense crowd because of his previous distraction.
The disadvantages of ordinary seats. He didn't know what happened on the field.
But the only one who could arouse such great energy in the entire stadium was their king, the king of the Bernabeu, Cristiano Ronaldo.
What's wrong with him?
"Oh my God, he fell down! Just fell straight down like that?! The team doctor has arrived at the scene, but we still don't know what happened! The scene is already in chaos!..." The broadcast commentary on the little boy's mobile phone continued.
Kaka looked sharply towards the little boy's screen.
The screen showed a replay, and at the same time, a commentator's voice rang out: "Let's see what happened just now!? There was no collision, no contact, Ronaldo suddenly fell straight to the ground! Oh my God, his teammates and the coach had already run onto the field and surrounded him, what happened?!"
The commentator exclaimed and even asked twice incoherently, but no one could give him an answer.
Kaka's face turned pale. He watched the replay and saw Cristiano frowning slightly. He raised his hand casually, but before his palm could touch his chest, he suddenly closed his eyes and fell heavily onto the green field as if unconscious.
“No, no, no…” Kaka muttered, as if something was viciously taken away from his life, from his flesh and blood. He suddenly pushed away the crazy fans in front of him and rushed to the front stand.
His Cristiano, his boy, was lying on the ground, clueless, and he was so close, helpless, unable to even get closer.
The team doctor was performing emergency resuscitation on Cristiano, and Kaka quickly realized what was happening here - it was his heart.
Cristiano once told him that when he was fifteen, he almost couldn't play football because of heart problems, just like he almost couldn't play football because of spinal problems, but fortunately they were both children favored by God, they survived and stood at the pinnacle of football.
After knowing this, Kaka felt a sense of fear for a while and always put his palm on the boy's chest to feel his heart beating strongly. He liked to hug Chris tightly after scoring a goal and liked the two of them to have their chests pressed tightly together without any gap, which allowed him to clearly feel the boy's heartbeat was as strong and steady as his own.
It won't be like it is now.
"God, it's cardiac arrest. News came from the scene. My God, Cristiano Ronaldo, how could he... He can make it. Hundreds of millions of fans are praying for him. His teammates are kneeling beside him, praying with their hands folded. He must make it..."
The sound of the broadcast came over.
Kaka was almost in despair. He saw a gap, and then he jumped down from the audience seats regardless of anything, ran through the messy security line, and rushed into Chris's encirclement.
The security guards couldn't even stop him with their strong and hard body. Perhaps it was because he had been missing for too long due to injuries. No one still remembered what kind of boy Ricardo Leite of Milan was. It seemed that they used beautiful words like gentle and tolerant to describe him. Even he himself had forgotten what he looked like before.
"Who?! Where's the security?!" Cristiano's teammates exclaimed. It was the new teammate who had just transferred over and stopped Kaka. They didn't need an inexplicably fanatical fan to break in during the chaos.
But soon, someone recognized him, and Benzema exclaimed: "Kaka?! God, why are you here?! Chris, Chris... uh... you should have come earlier..."
The teammates who had stopped Kaka immediately let go when they heard this. Everyone knows the twin stars of Real Madrid, Cristiano and Kaka, but the other one had disappeared long ago.
Kaka heard the desperate sob in Benzema's voice. He paused and rushed into the team doctor's office even faster.
He saw Cristiano lying on the ground with no expression on his face, as if he had fallen asleep from exhaustion.
Kaka felt that his life was also taken away. He felt as if a hand had reached into his throat and tightened his stomach. He was filled with cold sea water and he almost vomited.
He showed up, and Chris was just lying there, for God's sake.
Kaka couldn't control his voice and let out a mournful whimper. If God wanted to punish him for his mistakes, then he should punish him alone. Why Chris?
He grabbed Cristiano's hand, pressed it tightly against his lips and kissed it: "Cris... Cris... my boy, please..."
The teammates around him watched in silence, with prayer and despair in their eyes.
If Heavenly Father can hear you, please don't take Cristiano away.
Soon the stretcher arrived, and then the ambulance. Only two people were allowed to get on the ambulance, one of whom was undoubtedly their head coach.
Cristiano's teammates all wanted to go up, but coach Ancenotti soon decided on another person's position.
He looked at Kaka and whispered, "Kaka, come up. Maybe you can bring a miracle at this time. Pray for Chris."
Kaka's eyes were almost filled with tears. He quickly climbed into the ambulance and held Cristiano's hand tightly.
…
Cristiano lost consciousness amid the roar of cheers and screams from the crowd. He saw the empty family seats and knew he was left behind again, just like in so many other games, just like a few years ago, he was used to it.
Kaka is a man who puts family and faith first, so it is natural that he was left behind. Originally, everything related to Kaka was like an accident that suddenly went off track, and now it is just returning to normal.
Cristiano longs for family. He is a person who likes the lively atmosphere of a big family. He hopes that his mother, brother and sister can be in the same box with Kaka's family. At least that seems to make him happy.
But obviously, after he came out to his family unilaterally a few years ago, his family didn't want to be with Kaka and the others, so no one came over, not a single one, and it had happened many times.
His heart was beating too fast, making him feel uncomfortable, as if the blood in his heart was frozen and even his fingertips were instantly cold. He subconsciously raised his hand, but his arm felt as heavy as a thousand stones.
Cristiano thought of the warning from his family doctor a few years ago, telling him that he had overdrawn his physical strength. If it were an ordinary person, his heart might still beat steadily from the lucky age of fifteen to seventy or eighty years later, but not in a crazy athlete. He was already thirty-seven years old and should have retired long ago, but he didn't.
Perhaps it’s because he hasn’t seen Portugal lift the World Cup yet. This is a reason everyone knows, but deep down in his heart, he knows that this is only part of it. What about the other part?
He thought, perhaps this was the most legitimate excuse to invite Kaka. He hopes to see his best self in Kaka's eyes, even if it's only for those few seconds before scoring a goal.
When he vaguely realized what was happening, Cristiano did not feel panic or regret. He even felt a sense of relief from the bottom of his heart. Perhaps it was best for this fucked-up life to come to an abrupt end on the court.
He is too tired.
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