It will always be okay
We won’t talk about what they talked about for now, but the next day, they went to the psychological counseling room together.
Don't worry, it's not that the two of them felt their mental illness worsened after talking, but that the two found that they couldn't communicate clearly, and the psychologist of the research group allowed them to consult ordinary people without scruples - after all, the job of the psychologist is to be harassed by strange questions from the members of the research group.
It is a professional ethics for a psychologist not to have any opinions on the client's problems and privacy, but it is normal for a human being to be curious.
Especially, one of the people opposite was Ji Liuxing who almost died yesterday, and the one next to him was Ji Yunding who saved him. The two of them came over as if nothing had happened, and the psychologist could only suppress his curiosity and go to work first.
"So, your question is what is love? First of all, we need to distinguish whether it is friendship or love."
"I like it if I like it, why do we have to divide it into two types? What is the classification standard?"
Ji Yunding tilted his head and asked directly.
"Psychologically speaking, it's probably whether there is romantic attraction - unlike sexual orientation, romantic attraction has nothing to do with sexual attraction and is simply about whether you want to enter into a romantic relationship with the other person."
"That's the problem."
Ji Liuxing nodded and took over the conversation.
"We discussed it yesterday and reached a tentative agreement to try to enter a relationship, and then we both felt that the relationship had become distant."
"And this feeling is not directed at the other person, but comes from a dislike for the concept of 'romantic relationship'."
Ji Yunding raised a finger and added seriously,
"Team leader, upload the file."
Ji Liuxing handed the investigator's file to the psychologist opposite him, then pointed to the column on family background and unconsciously used the wording of an official report.
"To put it simply, my family situation is that I was raised by my adoptive mother. My father and my adoptive mother had a marriage agreement and had no love for each other. My father cheated on me during the marriage and concealed the fact of his marriage to deceive my biological mother."
This is only what can be made public to the civilized world. Other things that cannot be made public include patricide and a series of other terrible things.
Ji Yunding pointed to his own portion and then spoke.
"The situation at my home is that my parents basically don't talk to each other, and they don't talk to me much, except for things related to my younger brother. They got married just because the conditions were right, and they often quarreled and smashed things over inexplicable trivial matters.
In addition, as far as I know, both of them have maintained a relationship similar to an extramarital affair, but I don’t know the details because I am not interested.”
Ji Yunding's family sounds more common at first glance, but if you think about it carefully, it should be a more exhausting environment, like being on the edge of death.
So far, the shrink hasn't had any mood swings - it's all psycho here, small scene.
"So, you think there's something wrong with your concept of romantic relationships?"
"Yes, now our discussion has progressed to the point where we can verify the consistency between the subjective and the objective."
While Ji Yunding was explaining, Ji Liuxing cooperated by pushing the mobile blackboard over from the corner and drew a circle.
"If we consider this circle as a romantic relationship, we thought about and discussed what kind of relationships could fall into this category."
"And then I found out that a romantic relationship is a very casual relationship. I'll explain it in the order we discussed it."
Ji Yunding was writing with chalk beside him at the same time. His handwriting was neat and powerful.
"First, let's start with the basics. Is love a necessary element in a relationship? The conclusion is that it is not. Curiosity, killing time, or even just wanting to have a partner can all be reasons for a relationship.
Then, we considered the question of responsibility, but is responsibility necessary to establish a romantic relationship? The answer is no.
So, are two people in a relationship necessarily intimate? My team leader and I quickly discussed our family backgrounds on this issue and came to the conclusion that it was not.
In short, the result of our discussion is that there is no necessary commonality in the establishment of a romantic relationship, and sometimes it is more like a relationship of exchange of interests. "
"Besides, it's actually very easy to establish this kind of relationship as long as you have a good-looking face."
Ji Liuxing put on a very convincing face, rubbed his hair, and chuckled helplessly.
"I have no problem with other people liking my face, but I just think it's a pity that they treat their feelings too carelessly... Obviously, liking someone is a precious emotion, it would be better if they treated themselves more seriously."
Finally, Ji Yunding came to a conclusion.
"In summary, after entering the relationship, we both felt that the relationship had deteriorated significantly, so we quickly reached a consensus and chose to end the relationship and break up."
After the discussion, Ji Yunding naturally high-fived Ji Liuxing.
Being a psychologist in Group 1 was a high-paying but life-shortening job. The doctor flipped through the files and looked up at the two of them.
"I'm sorry, have you two ever been in other relationships before?"
"No."
They answered in unison, and then the two pointed at each other.
"I've never thought about this kind of thing before. I don't think it's necessary."
The psychologist was thinking seriously about which of the two people could communicate more normally. However, as a psychologist, it was more important to listen and guide the other person to say more than to speak.
"Putting aside the social definition of romantic relationships, what do you think about your current relationships? In other words, what are your expectations for relationships?"
Ji Liuxing and Ji Yunding exchanged glances, and then Ji Liuxing spoke first.
"I want to build a relationship where she feels more comfortable and satisfied, no matter what the outcome."
Ji Yunding's answer was even more straightforward.
"I don't know, I just don't want to leave it alone. And it's a good opportunity to find something for the team leader to do..."
Ji Yunding wanted to say "Don't let the team leader die secretly", but when she saw Ji Liuxing gently silencing her, she changed her tone.
"Our group hasn't had any missions lately, so we're just sitting around doing nothing."
In any case, Ji Liuxing is still a very important representative in people's hearts, and his mental problems must never be known to anyone.
Therefore, when he saw a psychologist before, he was in a state of deception, and his mental health score was surprisingly ranked third in the group.
Here we have to introduce the working mode of a group of psychologists - no matter what the other party says, just guide them to say what they want to say, and then use your own correct and healthy words.
The people in the same group thought it was a work-related injury, and I might have to go to the next door to see another psychologist the next day.
"I think the point you two are struggling with is that you think your current relationship is not appropriate, but you don't know what kind of relationship you should establish. I think you don't have to rush. Try to proceed step by step and get to know each other from many aspects..."
After finally seeing the two people opposite him politely thank him and walk out, the psychologist let out a long sigh, then stared at the blackboard in a daze, feeling that his understanding of love had been polluted.
——————
"So, Nono, let's apply for permission to discuss within the research group."
After Ji Yunding finished speaking, Zheng Nuo sat in the administrative liaison office in silence for a while, covered his forehead with his hands, waved to the two people opposite him, and sorted out the current situation.
"Wait, so the team leader was just rescued yesterday afternoon, and in the evening you finished dating and breaking up within ten minutes, and this morning you harassed the psychologist, and in the afternoon you decided to apply for legal mutual assault."
Even from Zheng Nuo's perspective, this efficiency is too outrageous.
"Don't worry, we didn't delay our work. We held three meetings in between and went to the logistics team to keep records. Then this is the report to be handed over to the docking office."
Ji Yunding handed the report to Zheng Nuo. Zheng Nuo took it, looked through it, put it aside, and was silent for a while.
"Nono?"
"I'm struggling mentally. Don't worry, because I have a principle that I only care about whether others are doing their job well, and never ask about other people's emotional problems."
About a minute later, Zheng Nuo raised his head and looked at Ji Yunding, then at Ji Liuxing.
"Okay, I just strangled my principles, what the hell are you two doing?"
"If we're talking about getting to know each other, shouldn't a group just fight? And the psychologist suggests that if you're confused, you can start with some intimate contact that doesn't cross the line to see if you're repulsed."
No, I don't think it was that kind of contact.
Ji Yunding spoke seriously and Ji Liuxing nodded. He seemed to have no objection at all and seemed quite happy.
"That's great. I've owed Ji Yunding a show for a long time. Let's set the date for a week later. I have a lot of things to do this week. By the way, this is the asset transfer application. Please pass it to the administration to help me process it."
"I saw your... should I say will? The assets listed there look like numbers made up by an elementary school student. So exaggerated."
Ji Yunding complained that she had always thought that the performance she had received was exaggerated enough.
"In fact, I just sorted it out not long ago and found that there was so much money."
Ji Liuxing sighed as if he was tidying up the bottom of the bed.
“Anyway, according to the agreement, I was supposed to pay Ji Yunding personally, but she said the procedure was too troublesome and she had enough money, so she asked me to donate it.
So just let the administration handle it, and use Ji Yunding's name to make some donations that are beneficial to public opinion."
Zheng Nuo took it and put it aside, sighed, and decided to give up thinking about the strange relationship and conversation between the two people.
"Forget it. I can't say that your two ideas about relationships are completely unreasonable. Some people nowadays do treat relationships as casually as drinking water... but it's still weird."
"If I explain it from the starting point, maybe it will be easier for people in the civilized world to understand."
Ji Liuxing thought about it, chose his words, and leaned on the table with his hands, smiling gently.
"We just cherish our relationship with each other and try to communicate and find the most appropriate solution. This does seem a bit strange, but it's better than two people saying nothing."
People who are born into happy families win from the beginning when it comes to love, but how can people who are born into an unhealthy environment approach a healthy relationship?
They have to work harder than normal people and do a lot of inexplicable things in order to slowly learn things that others may understand from birth - including friendship, family affection, love... and even how to deal with the kindness of the outside world.
When he returned to the team leader's office after a walk, Ji Yunding sighed, threw himself on the sofa, and leaned back casually.
I have absolutely no idea.
Ji Liuxing sat next to Ji Yunding holding his laptop and patted her shoulder gently.
"It's okay. If it doesn't work, forget it. I don't necessarily need a response. Something that requires a result is called a 'transaction'."
And to be honest, Ji Liuxing felt that Ji Yunding's current actions were already a very serious effort to respond, but she really didn't understand what result to give.
Ji Liuxing felt that this was enough. After all, for Ji Yunding, most people were not even worth her attention.
"I don't know how to like someone, what it means to like someone, it feels so difficult."
Ji Yunding moved closer and chatted while looking at the documents on the computer screen.
"I don't know either. I still don't know if I can be said to like you."
Ji Liuxing replied casually while typing blindly,
"I never really understand what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. You're the only one who knows that about me... Now that I say that, I feel particularly awkward in front of you. I'm really sorry."
"Team leader, you accidentally typed up part of what you just said."
"Oops, I can't do two things at once."
Ji Yunding pointed at the screen, and Ji Liuxing responded with a smile, pressing the delete key at the same time to erase all traces of the words he had just said.
"By the way, Team Leader, if you break your oath, you don't have to wear these gloves."
Ji Yunding casually pulled off Ji Liuxing's gloves and touched the slightly sunken red mark on his wrist.
"Wasn't it to cover up the weirdness and avoid accidentally encountering the weirdness in the school?"
Ji Liuxing turned his head slightly, his cheeks slightly red.
"I just don't feel used to it. After all, I haven't touched anything directly for a long time... It's so itchy, please spare me."
Ji Yunding withdrew his hand and continued to think about how to solve the problem.
"Get to know each other...Team leader, do you know me?"
"It's hard to say. This matter should be judged by you. I don't have the final say."
Ji Liuxing shook his head, somewhat helpless.
"I can only say that I remember the deeds you have done objectively. After all, they are all on file, and I have to arrange your shifts based on your abilities, backgrounds, and psychological traumas."
"Is that so? Then I'll test it a little bit."
Ji Yunding rolled up his short sleeves and pointed to his shoulder. Ji Liuxing looked closely and found a large burn mark there.
"This was when I was in primary school. I accidentally knocked it over while boiling water for instant noodles. I sat on the ground and cried for a long time, but no one cared about me, so the scar remained. Guess what I'm thinking about now."
“…”
Ji Liuxing lowered his eyes slightly, was silent for a while, and said in a low voice,
"You're not sad, you're not angry, and you probably don't even think the scar has any special meaning. I guess you're trying to figure out what words to use that would lead me to the wrong conclusion."
"Team Leader, are you really not capable of mind reading or something like that?"
"You showed it to me without any hesitation. This must be a part you are used to."
Ji Liuxing looked at the scar, then looked away.
"I can understand it. I'm not really sad, but every time I say something by mistake, people look at me with pity, and the atmosphere of the conversation becomes bad, so I just stop talking."
"Yes, and when you are pitied, it actually hurts."
"…Because you can only remain numb when you feel that you will not get a response anyway. Once you get a response, you can actually feel your own pain."
After Ji Liuxing finished speaking, Ji Yunding turned his head to look at him and then continued speaking.
“My life up until now has been like walking a tightrope, so even now I still feel like I’ll fall if I take the wrong step.”
The two of them continued talking one after another in this inexplicable way, with no emotional ups and downs in either of them, and it was unclear whether they were talking about themselves or each other.
“Sometimes I suddenly have the thought ‘I really want to go home’, but when I think about it carefully, I don’t have a home at all, and I don’t know where I want to go back to.”
"I have to face a set of unwritten rules every day, and it seems that I have never escaped from the weird stories."
"To solve the problem, you have to follow the rules, even if they are not fair at all."
"Things that involve people become very difficult to handle, and I can only be dragged down by others and unable to do anything."
They both sighed and spoke in unison.
"It's so troublesome. Can't everyone sit down and communicate efficiently?"
Ji Yunding then stood up and opened the refrigerator, throwing a can of juice to Ji Liuxing. Ji Liuxing took it, tasted it, and then quickly picked up the cup to drink.
"It is too sweet."
"When will your sense of taste get better? Yesterday you wanted to chew coffee powder, and you coughed so hard that I thought you were going to be killed by it."
"I was just wondering, that turned out to be so bitter..."
After abruptly turning from a very heavy topic to a meaningless conversation, Ji Yunding drank juice, looked at the refrigerator full of desserts, drinks and fruits, and thought for a while.
I think there was no refrigerator in Ji Liuxing’s office at first, because his sense of taste was damaged and he didn’t eat snacks at all.
"Team Leader, what would it be like if we were all normal people? Imagine it for a moment."
"You probably won't come to this school, but I feel like you'll still choose a major that's easy to find a job in... Computer science? After all, you're a pragmatist. But I think you can do anything well. I can't imagine anything else, I haven't been to school."
"Then you're probably the kind of extrovert who's troublesome to approach. I don't know how you manage to act like an ordinary person. Do you rely on your magical mind-reading ability?"
Ji Yunding shook his head and sighed.
"President of the student union, host of the radio station, and president of some popular clubs. Every day, you are voted on the school's confession wall and the like... Although you are also being voted on now."
"That sounds like an honor. But I really can't read minds. I'm just guessing."
Ji Liuxing found these descriptions somewhat amusing, then he leaned back, looked at the ceiling and talked to himself,
"If we were normal people, would we, like you, be able to cry even without feeling this much pain?"
"Maybe. Last time, a newcomer from the civilized world came to Sister Tang's place. She started crying just by running laps. She also cried during sparring and training, but she persisted. She said that when she cried, she felt an inexplicable sense of security, as if her mother would come to comfort her in the next second."
"Really? That's great."
"Yeah, that's great."
The two people spoke in steady tones, no different from their usual state.
There was silence in the room for a while. Ji Liuxing poured the juice into the cup and mixed it with some water. Ji Yunding then threw a box of ice cubes from the refrigerator over. After a while, the ice cubes fell into the cup and collided with each other, making a ding-dong sound.
"Although I don't care whether humans will be destroyed or not, I always want to protect beautiful and important people and things when I see them. I don't have much else to do anyway - I want to save the world because of this mentality."
Ji Yunding sat back on the sofa and tilted his head to look at Ji Liuxing.
"Is it right?"
Life is nothing more than finding something to do and then waiting to die.
"Is this the same?"
Ji Liuxing lowered his head slightly and chuckled.
"So I said, it doesn't matter if you don't respond, let's just leave it like this, and tell me when you want to change it."
“How should this relationship be defined?”
Ji Yunding tilted his head and thought seriously.
Ji Liuxing was also silent for a while, then he leaned forward slightly and spoke with a smile and embarrassment that was hard to conceal.
"I like you."
It has nothing to do with any relationship. If you like someone, you like them. You just want them to be happy. There is nothing else attached, no more, no less.
"I like you too, but other people's love is very unreliable and can change at any time like the moon."
Ji Yunding stepped back a little and turned to look outside. The moonlight shone through the screen window, like tiny, illusory dots of light.
In this world, only you are absolutely real.
"That's true. After all, the future doesn't exist. Any promises are ridiculous."
Ji Liuxing nodded and agreed with this statement.
"But time keeps moving forward. When I die, I will have the right to say that I have loved you forever."
"Don't die, I finally pulled you back."
"I just think your idea is hard to disprove, but it's not completely unsolvable. If I die on the rooftop, does that prove that I'll always love you?"
Once he stopped narrating his emotions and started reasoning, the blush on Ji Liuxing's face faded away, and he said seriously,
"Theoretically, it is possible, because life will end, and at the moment of its end, the past cannot be changed."
"Devil's proof?"
"Yes. I will definitely die before you. After all, you are weird and will exist for a long time. I will tell you the answer when the time comes."
"…Is it an appointment?"
The two people were communicating in a very unromantic tone and manner. Ji Liuxing hesitated for a moment, then placed his palm on Ji Yunding's forehead and gently kissed the back of his hand.
"It's a date."
Since a normal relationship is not suitable, there is no need to force a definition.
"But you can't die yet. You still have to fight me, and then follow me to save the world."
"You've already assumed that I will lose. That's too much. I've never lost since I was born."
Ji Liuxing stepped back a little, returned to a polite distance, calmed down a little, and said jokingly with a smile,
"But I have to think about how to fight you these days...it's tricky."
Ji Yundingxu clenched his fist and waved it jokingly.
"Team Leader, can I hit you in the face then? I have a lot of things I want to hit you for."
"Sure, why don't we just have a proper fight? It would be disrespectful if we don't draw blood. Let's follow the rules of our group."
As he said this, Ji Liuxing looked at his phone.
"A group of people were setting off fireworks on the rooftop. They said they were celebrating my survival, but they left the two of us having so much fun... Go and mess with them."
"What about the report?"
"I won't write it anymore. I have too many reports to report. I'll hand them in later."
Ji Liuxing stood up and took some drinks from the refrigerator into his bag, ready to carry them up.
"If your goal is to defeat me and become the team leader, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get used to apologizing to the logistics team as soon as possible."
"Can't I just write a good monthly report? I was admitted by the examination-oriented education system."
While complaining like this, the two of them walked through the dark stairwell and went up to the rooftop - Ji Liuxing moved the building to the other world and then moved it back, so there was no problem with the foundation, but the wires were broken and had to be reconnected, and no one knew how that worked.
"Hey, new guy, here."
Lin Shu, who was most familiar with Ji Yunding, waved his hand. Wei Qianqiu stood beside him, staring at the burning fairy wand in his hand with a focused expression.
Ji Liuxing patted Ji Yunding's shoulder gently and smiled.
"Go have fun. I also have a lot to explain to the other team members."
Ten minutes later, Ji Yunding felt that everyone was going to blow up the rooftop. Zheng Nuo had just finished his work at the docking station and wanted to come over to see the excitement. As soon as he got to the rooftop, he saw a group of people playing the game of passing the flower with firecrackers.
Ji Yunding was arranging the guns in a row, with more than a dozen gun barrels placed together.
"Even if we applied for a permit to set off fireworks, this is too much. But forget it, it's legal anyway."
Zheng Nuo leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky.
"It's not this lively even during the Chinese New Year. It feels like everyone is more interested in having fun than celebrating."
"Yeah, if you find a reason, you have to play hard, Xiao Nuo, don't be so serious."
Lin Shu approached Zheng Nuo from behind, picked him up and brought him to Ji Yunding.
"You've been so busy lately that you don't even come to play with us. It's obvious that the group has been free lately."
"There was a small problem. It's because everyone is idle. Recently, there are enough people for ordinary missions and rescue missions. So there is a discussion online that it is better not to explore the alternate dimension at all... The liaison office has been discussing how to communicate and respond."
Zheng Nuo leaned against the railing, rubbed his temples and sighed.
"Also, communication with Dongji is still not going smoothly. If things continue like this, we might really have to delay it until next year. They said that if we want to send people, we can only send six..."
"Isn't that solved it?"
Lin Shu suddenly became alert, and the people around him gathered around him. Zheng Nuo was stunned and frowned.
“Of course not. The snow is knee-deep. You must bring at least two snow survey experts, and the standard number of people for a ghost story exploration is thirteen or more.
Without the logistics team, we don’t know if we can count on them. There are no people or living things within a hundred miles. Even if there are no ghost stories, they will die. They are making things difficult for us.”
"Hey, it's okay. At worst, I can sign up to lead the team to explore the route."
Lin Shu looked nonchalant and the people around him didn't have any special reaction.
From ancient times to the present, these marginalized people have never considered themselves human beings, and they are unable to treat the next generation as human beings in their aristocratic families. This deformity has been passed down from generation to generation.
"The latest document indicates that investigators are not consumables, but also important citizens of our country. Especially for investigators from aristocratic families, you need to change your mindset and cherish your life and health more.
We promise that we will treat everyone's life with the most serious attitude and actively fight for it. Please wait for a while. At the same time, we express our sincerest gratitude for your efforts. "
Zheng Nuo recited this passage with his eyes closed, then opened his eyes and looked at Lin Shu and the team members around him.
"This is a polite message they asked us to convey. Welcome to this dirty, hypocritical, but at least civilized world."
Ji Yunding poked Lin Shu and saw that she seemed a little dazed.
"Sister Lin Shu?"
"Ah? It's okay... The civilized world is pretty gentle."
Lin Shu's tone was somewhat complicated, and the expressions of the people around him were also somewhat difficult to understand and describe.
Ji Yunding lit the fuse, sat on the railing, looked up at the fireworks exploding in the sky, and smiled.
"It's not all bad, everywhere is bad, and it's bad here too, but there are always people trying to make the world a better place - including us."
At 7:30 in the evening, the night sky suddenly became bright, and the gorgeous fireworks attracted people nearby to stop and watch.
It's going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright.
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