Chapter 30 Xiao Peiyin's Decision
Gu Cunxi woke up late at night. She was a little dazed when she looked at the ceiling in front of her. The only thing that was clear was Xiao Peiyin's anxiety and tenderness before she lost consciousness.
Feeling the warmth in her hands, Gu Cunxi turned her head aside and found Xiao Peiyin lying on the bed, holding her tightly with both hands. This warmth made her feel at ease.
Gu Cunxi tried hard to recall everything that happened that night, but he felt that his memories were intertwined and a bit chaotic, with broken fragments and dots, and he couldn't piece together a complete picture.
"hiss…"
The pain on her face slowly came, and she made a sound
Xiao Peiyin hadn't slept soundly because she was worried about Gu Cunxi. When she heard the noise, she was immediately awakened. She raised her head and looked at the person in front of her. Their eyes met, and in just a moment, tears welled up in her eyes...
"You're awake! Does the wound... hurt?" Xiao Peiyin asked cautiously, her tone gentle and full of heartache.
Gu Cunxi wanted to respond, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she felt a tearing pain in the wound at the corner of her mouth. She immediately covered her cheek with her hand.
Seeing this, Xiao Peiyin got up in panic, sat down on the edge of the bed, and said with worry in her eyes: "Does the wound hurt?" Then she stretched out her hand to hold Gu Cunxi's cheek, gently stroking it, her eyes full of pity.
“!”
Her cheeks suddenly felt both painful and itchy. Gu Cunxi stood there in a daze. She couldn't understand Xiao Peiyin any more. She was gentle, but also cold and distant...
She couldn't figure out which one was the real her...
Is it because Chen Feng hit her and she felt guilty, or is it because she didn't want to call the police, so she treated her so gently at this moment! Gu Cunxi thought about it and couldn't help asking: "Is it because of Chen Feng?"
"You don't need to feel guilty. The dispute between you and your husband was not caused by you. Don't worry, I won't call the police!" Gu Cunxi forced a smile, his voice hoarse.
"No! It's not Chen Feng!" Xiao Peiyin choked, shook her head, and hesitated to speak.
At this moment, there were thousands of words stuck in her heart, but she couldn't say them. It was like a lump in her throat, making her eyes sore and her tear glands almost uncontrollable. Xiao Peiyin turned her head away and remained silent for a long time...
In the dim ward, the moonlight shone through the window onto her body, making her look a little lonely. She wanted to tell Gu Cunxi that it wasn't Chen Feng, it wasn't anyone else, it was just because he fell in love with her...
Seeing Xiao Peiyin turned her head away and her shoulders trembling slightly, Gu Cunxi's heart suddenly became panicked and in a mess.
"Pei Yin! Stop crying! I'm the one who disrupted your peaceful life. I'm sorry! I apologize for my feelings and for putting you in such a difficult situation! It's my fault!"
"I won't bother you again. I feel... that my love for you is no less than anyone else's. I once arrogantly thought that I could use my love to redeem you in marriage. I was so immoral and had no principles. With my possessive desire, I even wanted to destroy your marriage and make you mine! I'm sorry!"
Gu Cunxi's eyes were red, and he wiped the corners of his eyes, trying hard to hold back the tears that were about to get out of control.
"That's not true! Cunxi, actually, I..." Xiao Peiyin wanted to explain anxiously, but Gu Cunxi didn't give her a chance to explain and continued on her own: "I once despised Chen Feng's despicable behavior of trying to control you for his own selfish desires, but... Chen Feng and I are actually... no different. I am just as selfish and despicable as him, using love to beautify myself in an attempt to possess you!"
"I won't call the police because I feel guilty. Although I hate Chen Feng, my immoral behavior is no better than anyone else's..."
"In the dead of night, the morals in my heart would jump out again and again to judge me. I have never done anything wrong, but this time I cannot say that my conscience is clear!!"
"Falling in love with you made me hesitate, avoid you, yet constantly want to get closer. I even thought, I can, and I am willing to, I would rather be the one who cannot be seen in public. It's not that I have no shame or dignity! It's just that compared to all these, nothing is as important as you. But I forgot that love can not distinguish between right and wrong, but it must understand propriety, righteousness, integrity and shame!"
"When I faced Chen Feng's attack, for a moment I felt like I was atonement..."
"Pei Yin, I'm sorry to bother you. After I'm discharged from the hospital, I will resign from my position as Marketing Director. I've decided to accept Mr. Xu's invitation. You can live a peaceful life without me!"
In the silent ward, Gu Cunxi's words struck Xiao Peiyin's heart hard, making her heart numb. She couldn't come back to her senses for a moment, and only remembered that sentence.
You can live peacefully without me...
The words were filled with the meaning of parting, and she couldn't help crying. She wanted to speak to him to stay, but no sound came out...
The thought of divorce dominated Xiao Peiyin's mind at this moment. She longed for freedom more than ever...
She wanted to stay by Gu Cunxi's side, but as soon as she thought of the quagmire she was in, she backed off! Facing Chen Feng, she didn't even know how to fight him. The worries behind her were always like a mountain. She tried for many years but couldn't get over it. Gradually, she became more and more cowardly.
She had originally wanted to accept this fate, but then Gu Cunxi appeared. Xiao Peiyin didn't dare to think about what would happen if she lost Gu Cunxi. As long as she thought about her disappearing from her life forever, she felt like she was suffocating...
Thinking of this, she raised her head and closed her eyes tightly, carefully recalling her past. Those vicious cycles of pain were all her hidden illnesses...
In fact, Gu Cunxi is just like herself. Their shattered past and broken soul are their similarities. They are not perfect! They are not sunny enough, but they are enough to illuminate each other and mend the past!
After a long silence, Xiao Peiyin made the boldest decision of her life! This time, she wanted to follow her heart and deal with all the worries and the family ties that were gradually dragging her down.
For Gu Cunxi, and for herself, she wanted to be brave once... Even if the world, morality, and rules forbid it, it didn't matter! She loved Gu Cunxi and was willing to endure everything for it, happy to accept it. Even if there were countless difficulties in the future, as long as she was by Gu Cunxi's side, she would not be afraid!
Thinking of this, Xiao Peiyin finally smiled, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her heart. Over the years, she had always compromised and given in for the sake of her parents, as if she had never lived for herself!
"Gu Cunxi!" Xiao Peiyin spoke slowly, her eyes gentle. After a pause, she said, "I really like that song! You're so charming when you sing it!"
After that, she curled her lips and smiled
"What?" Gu Cunxi asked in confusion.
"I mean... you look so beautiful on stage, I can't take my eyes off you!"
“!”
"You..." Gu Cunxi was stunned, his eyes wide open with surprise and joy.
The moonlight shone on the two of them, and their shadows reflected on the wall merged them together. Xiao Peiyin was silent for a moment and said, "How could I deserve to be liked by you? How could I regard your love as a disturbance!"
"It's just... I'm a coward. I'm not as brave as you to boldly admit my love. I have too many concerns. I'm someone else's wife and someone else's mother. How can I be qualified to love you? I keep trying to persuade myself to no avail. I want to let love go freely, but I can't open my hand!"
"Before today, I didn't dare love you. I was afraid that my love would be a burden, a hurt. I was afraid of Chen Feng, and I was afraid of my parents. I was afraid that if our love was exposed to the sun, you would be criticized and attacked. But... when I saw Chen Feng beating you, saw the wounds on your face, and saw you lying in front of me, I was truly afraid!"
"It wasn't until that moment that I realized that all the imaginary fears in my heart were far less than my fear of losing you! I... wanted to break free from the cage and feel the freedom of love with you!"
"Gu Cunxi! I give up!!"
"I won't push you away anymore, I won't pretend anymore, and I won't deny it anymore."
"Gu Cunxi, I like you, very much!!"
"I no longer try to convince myself that I can just watch you from afar. I want you!"
Gu Cunxi stared at the person in front of her in a daze, speechless for a moment. She couldn't believe her ears!
Could it be an illusion? Or a dream? This unreal reality made Gu Cunxi dazed...
She reached out and slowly touched her cheek, and then she felt pain. She covered her face and groaned softly, but she couldn't hide the smile on her face.
"hiss!"
Seeing her expression of pain, Xiao Peiyin covered her face with her hands, her heart immediately tightened. She stood up in a panic, gently stroking Gu Cunxi's cheek with both hands, her eyes full of heartache, and even her voice became choked and trembling.
"Does it hurt?" Xiao Peiyin was so anxious that she wanted to reach out and rub Gu Cunxi's wound, but she was afraid that touching the wound would make her feel worse.
The pain in her cheek finally confirmed that this wasn't an illusion or a dream. If it was a dream, it was a dream come true! She looked at Xiao Peiyin's nervous and helpless expression, chuckled happily, and tears rolled down her face: "With you here, it doesn't hurt at all! Your sweet words seem to have anesthetized me!"
Their eyes met, and they stared at each other quietly for a long time...
For the first time, Gu Cunxi saw clearly and truly in Xiao Peiyin's eyes that there was clearly something about love hidden in them, bold and passionate!
The two of them sat in silence. Gu Cunxi cautiously reached out his hand and interlocked his fingers with the person next to him, rubbing his fingertips together as he said, "Xiao Peiyin! This trip to the hospital was worth it!!"
"Don't say that!" Xiao Peiyin pulled out her hand and gently patted the back of Gu Cunxi's hand, her tone doting and gentle.
"Thank you for your courage!" Gu Cunxi pulled out his tightly held hand, pulled her towards him, put his hands around her waist, gradually tightened them, and tried hard as if to rub her into his life!
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