Chapter 143 It turns out that this is what true loss feels like

When they were together in the past, when she was happy, she would call him husband sweetly, and when she was angry, she would frown and call him Pei Shizhang.

What was the expression on her face at that time?

She pursed her lips, with the corners of her lips curled up, and her eyes were full of smiles, like warm waves overflowing with happiness that seemed to glow.

But now, her expression was gentle and calm, without the original brilliant and passionate look.

Those innocent, carefree joys can never be seen again.

They all returned to the past, their youth was gone, but their original state of mind was no longer the same.

Pei Jian didn't expect that he would ask this question so calmly.

It was almost unbelievably peaceful.

Does Nianxi like Lu Wensheng?

He wasn't sure.

At that time she liked Gu Ci, his good brother. He was almost crazy with jealousy, and when he lost his mind, he did a lot of stupid things that annoyed her.

Now, almost a year after her rebirth, Pei Jian even felt that even if she told him that yes, she fell in love with Lu Wensheng, he would accept it calmly.

All those ups and downs of emotions have left him, and now all that is left is an empty shell.

Time can really change a lot of things.

She has already started her new life, but he is trapped in the past and the present, unable to reach the end.

Nian Xi looked up at him, then turned her head away, "Why are you asking these questions?"

Pei Jian smiled. He could actually laugh at this moment. He said in a low voice, "I'm just a little curious."

Nian Xi knew he misunderstood.

No matter how calm he pretended to be, she could still see that he was not as calm as he appeared to be, and he had let go of a relationship that had long become a thing of the past.

Regarding Lu Wensheng, Nian Xi is of course grateful. In addition to gratitude, there is also some admiration.

It is undeniable that as a mature man, the elegance and humility displayed by Lu Wensheng, and the charm he exudes in every gesture, are enough to make a woman's heart beat.

She could feel that Lu Wensheng was special to her.

If it was when she had just been reborn, when she was confused about feelings and even only wanted to have fun, she might have really fallen if she met him.

But not now.

She met a true heart, as sincere as gold, which comforted her, healed her, made her alive, and enabled her to regain the ability to love.

She then realized that she was actually a very strict person in terms of relationships. She loved someone with all her heart, and she longed for 100% return from him.

Nianxi's silence made Pei Jian anxious.

The initial temptation turned into a terrifying abyss, the calm disguise cracked, and his true self was revealed in his dark pupils:

"You really like him? Who is Lu Wensheng? If you like him, why can't I?"

Pei Jian himself didn't know why he was reluctant to give up on Nian Xi.

Was it out of love, or was it because he couldn't let go of the past thirteen years, or was it what Nianxi said about men's despicable self-esteem...

The only thing he was sure of was that he could never let go of Nian Xi, ever.

"Don't you want to be together forever? Lu Wensheng even has a child, what qualifications does he have? Or are you just going to forget what you said before just for a man?"

Pei Jian knew that his face was ugly at the moment. Jealousy makes people unrecognizable.

He just couldn't control the harshness and sharpness in his heart. He was afraid to see her eyes once again filled with a happy smile for another man.

He was just afraid of losing forever.

Nian Xi was silent at first.

She didn't want to mention that dusty past. She didn't want to fall into the emotional friction and self-pity again. She had tried to make herself happy and did a good job.

But Pei Jian refused to let her go.

So Nian Xi raised her eyes, her gaze was cold, her voice was very soft, and she could even say she was friendly, "But he has a child, right? Xiao Qi is also very cute. You are going to register Xu Wanxin's child under my name, why don't I find one that I like?"

Pei Jian was stunned for a moment, then he explained hastily, "Nianxi, I don't know. I didn't know Xu Wanxin's feelings at that time. If I knew, I would definitely..."

"So you know now?"

Nian Xi even had a smile on her face. "You know that she always mentioned your ambiguous relationship in front of me, said some ambiguous words, and wore some things in your favorite colors? This is not the most disgusting thing. On the second day after I celebrated your birthday, she came to my house in person to explain to me that it was because of her that you missed the appointment all night, so that all my thoughts and surprises became a joke."

With every word Nian Xi said, Pei Jian's face became uglier. When talking about that year's birthday, he almost subconsciously wanted to avoid it.

Intuition preceded reason, and he was afraid to hear every word she was going to say next. It would be a weight he could hardly bear.

Pei Jian's lips moved, and there was even a pleading look in his usually dark and cold eyes. He was begging her:

"Nian Xi..."

After being married for ten years, she certainly knew how to make Pei Jian feel pain, and she could also make him feel even more pain.

"Everyone thought that I got sick because of Prince Jing's coercion, but that was not the case. When I saw the blood under Prince Jing's wife in the hall, it was like seeing myself many years ago, feeling helpless and helpless. A mother couldn't save her unborn child. How incompetent and pathetic."

"Pei Jian, you don't know how much I hate my own cowardice."

Pei Jian listened blankly and numbly, his Adam's apple rolling, he could no longer even feel the pain, "Nianxi, it's all over, you will still have children."

These are the words he used to comfort her.

Nian Xi smiled softly, her smile was the same as usual, but her eyes were full of sadness, "Don't you understand? I don't want to have children anymore."

Pei Jian felt like he was hit on the head with a club and he couldn't recover for half a day.

He never knew that Nian Xi's heart was hurt so deeply. He never knew that she had been trapped in self-blame all these years.

She blamed herself for not protecting the child.

Pei Yan's eyes were filled with emotions, and his eyes were full of red silk. He could hardly raise his head due to guilt, and still said in a hoarse voice, "Nianxi, don't be like this."

Nianxi, this is not your fault.

"I wasn't with Xu Wanxin that day. I was..."

"Busy with official business."

"I thought of it later." Nian Xi replied calmly. Looking at Pei Jian's red eyes, she lowered her eyelids:

"You were very busy at that time. I wanted to celebrate your birthday, and I had to confirm with you half a month in advance, asking you to take a night out to accompany me."

"Xu Wanxin's lies are easy to expose, right? But I can't see you."

"I have tried my best, tried my best, used all my passion, but I couldn't resist the gradually fading love."

"Pei Jian, you didn't do anything wrong."

"It's just that I can never catch up with you. No matter how many times I try, we will miss each other."

Nian Xi lowered her eyes and blinked away the tears in her eyes.

This was the last time she felt sad for her past thoughts and the relationship that had been passionate and devoted.

"Go back," she whispered.

There was no emotion in her almond-shaped eyes; neither love nor hatred could be seen.

Pei Jian discovered sadly that this is what true loss feels like.