Chapter 204 But I Love You

"Do you want to drink?" Nian Xi asked.

Gu didn't understand the meaning of the remark, but he would never refuse, "Okay."

Nian Xi raised her legs and walked towards the mansion. Gu Ci hesitated at this moment, "Going...to the mansion?"

Isn't this a good idea?

He ran to Nian Xi with empty hands and full of passion. Now that he was about to follow Nian Xi into the mansion, he couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed.

After entering, he must pay his respects to Li. He had made a stupid mistake before and now just wanted to make up for it.

Nian Xi turned her head and glanced at him with a half-smile, "What else? The Champion Marquis."

She was making fun of herself again.

Gu Ci always found it difficult to act dignified in front of her. "I've been riding for half a day and I'm sweating all over. Can I go back home and change my clothes before I come to see you?"

How could Nian Xi not know him? She nodded and let him go home.

When Gu Ci came again, he was sitting in a horse-drawn carriage, followed by large and small carts, loaded with bear gall, deer antlers, wild ginseng, tiger bones, sable furs, jade, gems, etc., going to the Wen Mansion in a grand manner.

This move shocked the entire Wen family.

If you don’t know, you might think it’s a betrothal gift. But I haven't seen anyone hire me. It was in the afternoon that Lang Jun came alone.

Li refused to accept it, saying, "It's too expensive."

Gu Ci had changed into a long robe with wide sleeves, and when he bowed, he looked elegant and graceful. "Since I left for the war, my mother is the only one left at home. I feel lonely and helpless, and I am so sorry that Nianxi always accompanies me. These external things are not even one ten-thousandth of what Nianxi has done for me."

Li was always very happy about Gu Ci, so she was relieved to let her daughter associate with him.

But ever since Gu Ci's two elder brothers met with accidents one after another, Gu Ci had to shoulder the mission and go to war, and Li's intention faded.

As a mother, your children always come first.

Without mentioning the distant past, let’s just talk about Mrs. Wang. She should be at the age where she can enjoy her old age and play with her grandchildren, but the huge Duke of Zhen’s Mansion is deserted even during the New Year holidays. Her husband and children are not around, which makes her sad.

Although her family was of poor status, they were still a family reunited.

If Nianxi had married, she would have been in the same situation as Lady Wang. Her life would indeed be affluent, but the feeling inside was like drinking water, only the person himself knew whether it was hot or cold.

Li's considerations were entirely out of a loving mother's heart.

But she couldn't tell what Nian'er was thinking about Gu Ci now. Li always put her daughter first in everything, so she didn't say anything final and just let it go.

"Nian'er is waiting for you in the pavilion."

The resignation should be good.

In the early autumn of last year, Gu Ci remembered that he and Nian Xi had each held a bowl of hot almond milk and drank it leisurely in a small pavilion before dawn, waiting for the sunrise.

Now when I walk here again, I feel a different feeling in my heart.

As expected, Nian Xi was already waiting here.

Her black hair was tied into a bun, with a flower on her forehead. She was wearing a graceful and elegant silk dress, and she stood tall and graceful.

Seeing him coming, she smiled, her eyes were like bright light, and there was a sense of water rippling in her eyes.

The flowers in the garden are in full bloom, hanging heavy on the branches, spreading along the paths, and filling the garden with the fragrance of flowers.

This scene seemed like a dream.

He was a little intoxicated, and walked step by step to the beloved girl, "Nian'er, I'm here."

Gu Ci was holding something in his hand. When he got close to her, he handed the thing over. It was the Mohele doll, which he was thinking of.

"You told me to take good care of myself, and I haven't forgotten."

This pair of Mohe Le was originally a pair. Gu Ci gave it to her on the Chinese Valentine's Day after carving some characters on it. There was also a "Gu Xiaoliu" that she had kept with her ever since.

Now that Gu Ci has returned it, the two Mohelos have become a pair again.

"very nice."

Nian Xi filled the cup with wine, raised it, and looked at Gu Ci, "Welcome back."

Gu Ci remembered that she didn't like the smell of alcohol on other people, so she just touched her lips lightly and put down the wine glass.

Nian Xi just raised his head and drank it all in one gulp.

"Nian'er, I've been busy with work these days and haven't had time to look for you." Gu Ci explained dryly.

Although this may sound far-fetched, if you are willing, you will find time no matter how busy you are, but explaining is always better than no explanation.

Nian Xi smiled and didn't expose him. She filled her glass again. The Yuquan wine was clear and crisp. She drank slowly, but her face gradually became rosy. When she looked back, her clear eyes became full of life, and she was naturally charming.

The black gold fell to the west, and the garden was filled with the shade of flowers.

There was a faint aroma of wine in the air. Seeing that she was only concerned with drinking, Gu Ci was afraid that she would get drunk first, so he picked up a few of her favorite dishes with chopsticks and put them in the bowl. Just as he was about to persuade her, he heard Nian Xi ask, "I once had a dream, a very long dream. Do you want to listen to it?"

Gu Ci asked, "What dream?"

Nian Xi put down the wine cup, held her chin with one hand, looked at the sunset in the sky, and said in a light voice, "I dreamed of a girl who met a boy at the age of fifteen. She liked him very much."

Gu Ci felt warm in his heart, thinking he was talking about them, so he laughed softly, "And then?"

"They got married and lived a good life. Then, the two of them gradually grew apart. As the man became more and more successful, he saw a bigger and farther world, but the girl stayed where she was, becoming lonely and depressed."

Nian Xi's eyes felt slightly hot. Her past life that seemed to be always there seemed as vague as a dream. Except for herself, nothing was left.

"She has become self-pitying and has no self, hiding in a small shell like a poor insect. Sir Gu, if you see her, you will definitely not like her. She is so unlovable."

The smile on Gu Ci's face gradually froze. Looking at the girl's red eyes, he felt heartbroken and asked softly, "What happened next?"

"Later, she died, leaving behind a lot of regrets."

There was still a hint of laughter in her voice, but the ending tone was slightly trembling.

"But in the end, God showed mercy and she lived again. This time, she didn't want to meet her husband from her previous life again, so on the day of Shangsi Festival, she went to Qushui."

Gu Ci's heart was shocked. Although he had a vague guess in his mind, he was still shocked when he actually heard it.

So that's how it is.

He still remembered the sadness and gloom in her eyes when he first met her. He couldn't understand her at that time, as if she was covered by clouds and mist. He never knew why the girl with such sorrow in her eyes was sad.

Nian Xi calmed herself down, resisting the sore feeling in her eyes that made her want to cry, and smiled softly, "She went to Qushui and met another man."

"He was very good, really very good. He was as warm as the spring breeze and as gentle as the rain. He comforted her, cared for her, and gave her unconditional love. He mended her desolate and sad heart, embraced her selfish and stingy self, and unconditionally gave her the preference she had longed for but could not get."

The sour and hot feeling in my eyes was almost uncontrollable.

Nian Xi exhaled lightly, and finally turned to look at Gu Ci, "She used him. In fact, she was full of panic at that time. She was deeply hurt, but she selfishly used another true heart to make up for it. She longed for someone to love her."

"Master Gu, why is she so bad?"

"No." Gu Ci wiped away her falling tears. It seemed as if all the tears flowed into her heart, making her feel painful.

"No, Nianxi." Gu Ci spoke softly, stroking her head as if comforting a helpless child. "That's not bad, that's her bravery. She still has the courage to love."

He stood up, squatted in front of her, looked up at her, and his eyes turned red. "And Nian'er, he is willing. All the love, or anything else, as long as she is willing, he is willing to give her everything."

After her rebirth, Nian Xi was sensitive and suspicious for a long time. She refused to believe that a relationship could last, so when she was with Gu Ci, she devoted all her energy to him. She was always gentle, but she always had that string called reason.

She used to resent Pei Jian's indifference, but in fact, she herself was also stingy and selfish.

It was not until he resigned and went to the battlefield with no certainty of return that she suddenly realized that she was also a bad person.

"Nian'er," Gu Ci held her face with both hands, and with tears in his eyes, he asked her to look into his eyes, "I know your intentions and rationality, I know you are using me to get rid of emotional pain, I know you are calculating gains and losses, but I love you."

He said, "You can plot against me as much as you want. I am not afraid of you taking advantage of me. As long as it is you, I will do anything."

"As long as you are willing, let me love you."

Tears fell down her thick eyelashes. Nian Xi raised a hand and patted his shoulder weakly, "Gu Xiaoliu, why are you so stupid!"