Chapter 227 The Eternally Hateful Pei Shizhang

"Can I not leave?"

Pei Jian had a headache. He hadn't slept well these days, and today he ran here with all his strength. He was disappointed and then extremely surprised. After experiencing the ups and downs of emotions, he felt like he was about to fall.

Maybe it's because I'm getting old. When I was young, I was always fearless and brave, but now I'm so afraid of losing.

All his emotions were magnified infinitely at this moment, and he even had a premonition that he was going to lose her.

"Is it because of unwillingness? Or guilt?" She already knew what happened to Xu.

"Nianxi, I paid the price for my arrogance and self-conceit."

"As for whether it's reluctance or guilt," Pei Jian lowered his head, his expression serious and calm, "Nian Xi, I think it's regret. Because those were also my ten years, and I can't bear to part with those times that can't be returned. In fact, we can be better, at least as good as at the beginning."

"I didn't do it. Even if I'm unwilling, it's for myself, not for you."

When you have obtained the treasures of this world, but lose them again, everyone will feel unwilling to accept it.

How could I let go?

"Remember that time when I was sick, you stayed by my bed all day and all night. When I woke up, you said you didn't want to be a royal consort anymore," Pei Jian's face looked bad, a little pale in the dusk. She looked at the sails not far away, and her voice was long and sad.

"You said as long as I'm fine."

"I thought at that time, I must climb to the top and let this woman who loves me enjoy all the love in the world."

"Nianxi, I'm actually not that great. There were times when I was exhausted and wanted to lie in your arms. One time, I even went to the main courtyard, stood at the door for a while, and then left."

Actually, it is meaningless to say this now.

His parents passed away early, and he has long been accustomed to bearing all the pressure by himself. He doesn't want others to see his vulnerability, and over time, he excludes everyone.

Even if it’s Nian Xi.

Even though his original intention was simple.

It was he who lost himself and tore the family apart.

There is no way to refute this.

He just wanted to beg for a chance, a chance to make amends and start over.

"Don't do that again."

Nian Xi listened patiently and smiled softly, "If you keep everything in your heart and don't say it, what should the people who care about you do? You are so tired, and the people around you are also suffering."

Pei Jian's expression froze and he suddenly turned to look at her.

"You think you are doing this for her own good, not wanting her to worry and not wanting her to talk about her troubles. Over time, she no longer dares to tell you about her life."

"There were many times when I was framed and backstabbed, and I felt sad," he looked at her, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes, "I especially want to tell you, I know you will scold those people harshly."

As for why not, it may be due to that ridiculous self-esteem.

Pei Shizhang is always omnipotent.

He hid his vulnerability.

Nian Xi smiled, as gentle as she was back then, "What about now?"

Pei Jian sighed tiredly and fondly, "Now it's much better. There are almost no people who make things difficult for me, but there are a lot of trivial matters."

"Normally it's fine, but when it comes to something as big as the Yellow River diversion, I can't come up with a plan, and the officials are arguing with me. I have to try my best to control myself and keep calm, but in fact I'm so annoyed that I want to curse them. Sometimes I'm so tired that I can't sleep well at night."

As Nian Xi listened, her eyes became a little moist.

"Those officials are really so naive. They don't know how to feel sorry for others. Next time, tell them to go outside and argue until they come to a conclusion."

Pei Yan's heart was hit hard.

It’s simple, isn’t it?

Her words might not be very clever, but he did not need her opinion. He shared his feelings and she shared his burden.

Her love has always been simple.

At that time, she loved him so much.

He suddenly felt unbearable pain for his past "misses".

He knew clearly that if there was one person in this world who would support him and tolerate him unconditionally and without principles, it would only be his wife, Nianxi.

Only Nian Xi.

Between them, she has always been the brave one.

He was so foolish and stupid that she was disappointed and heartbroken.

The two looked at each other across the twilight.

Nian Xi asked: "Isn't it that difficult?"

Pei Jian’s face turned pale and he responded softly.

"I will change," he said. "I will become the likable Pei Shizhang."

After a few moments of silence, Nian Xi spoke slowly, "I'm going to Jinling, can you go with me?"

"good."

Pei Jian said without hesitation.

Then, he asked with some embarrassment, "The Yellow River flood has not been resolved yet, and there is also trade with the Western Regions. If everything goes well, the Champion Marquis will not have to stay in the northern border all the time. Nianxi, can you wait a moment? When I finish these, I will accompany you to do whatever you want to do."

The early autumn wind was already somewhat cool, carrying the sound of water, which hit the reeds on the shore one by one, making a rustling sound.

She laughed out loud, her voice light and even with the expected pride.

"No, you will always be the annoying Pei Shizhang."

Pei Jian loves her and also loves power.

He is not a good person, but he is doing his best to fulfill his duties as a prime minister.

He is greedy and cunning, he wants everything and will not let go even if he does something wrong.

This is his life.

That's what he meant.

What about Nianxi’s own?

Why does she live?

At this moment, she was both happy and disappointed.

Pei Jian is still the same Pei Jian. He always has his inner core. Even though he is willing to change himself, he will not give up his pursuit.

He didn't even say anything nice to coax her.

Women are always soft-hearted. At this moment, she may just want to hear those sweet words even if they are vague.

But he is Pei Shizhang.

Nian Xi wiped away her tears with a smile, "Pei Yan, I don't want to be a bird embroidered on a screen waiting to fade. I don't want to go back to the life I had in the past. I also want to live my own life like you."

They both understood that this was her problem.

She once wanted to cut off the past and make a clean break with it. However, when she developed feelings for Pei Jian again, this knot in her heart grew out and got stuck in her heart, like a thorn in her throat.

"So you have to go?"

I think so.

It’s not that she has to go to Jinling, she just wants to leave the capital for a while. Maybe changing the place and changing her mood will make her happier.

"I won't let go, Wen Nianxi, even if I die." He said with difficulty, "If, if you meet someone else after you go out, and fall in love with someone else, I will definitely not be soft-hearted. I mean to that person. You are my wife, and you will never change in your life."

He tried to be tough, but the words he said were soft and powerless. They sounded more like a request than a threat.

Nianxi understood his request.

Looking at that face that was still handsome under the moonlight, he said slowly:

"That's hard to say."