Shen Youying returned to Tingmei Pavilion alone. After finally resting, a sense of loneliness welled up inside her. Ever since Xue Shen moved in with her, no one had stayed to keep watch at night.
Bai Luo extinguished the candle and quietly slipped out.
Shen Youying lay in bed, not knowing why, despite being extremely tired, she couldn't fall asleep.
The image of the Crown Princess lying silently in bed kept flashing before her eyes. It wasn't fear, but a urge to speak it aloud always lingered in her heart. Such a good person; just a few days ago they were laughing and talking, and now she was gone in the blink of an eye.
Shen Youying tossed and turned in bed until the early hours of the morning, unable to fall asleep.
Listening to the sound of wind and snow outside, she hesitated for a moment, then got up and put on her shoes.
She lit the lamp in the dark, pushed open the door to the inner room, and saw that Bai Luo, who was keeping watch in the outer room, was already asleep on the daybed. Shen Youying didn't want to wake her, so she quietly put on her cloak, picked up the lantern, and went out by herself.
Actually, she didn't know where she was going. She just couldn't sleep and felt suffocated, so she wanted to go out for some fresh air.
Wrapped in a thick, warm cloak, she wandered aimlessly along the covered walkway. As she walked, she saw a tall, slender figure standing in the snow ahead.
Shen Youying was startled at first, then asked uncertainly, "Yuan Jin?"
At this time, apart from the patrolling guards, no one else would be wandering around the palace.
The figure in front turned around, and it was indeed Xue Shen.
Xue Shen frowned, strode towards her, and looked down at her face: "Why aren't you sleeping and are you running around?"
Seeing that his black cloak was covered with snow, some of which had even frozen into ice, Shen Youying tiptoed and reached out to brush the snow off him, asking softly, "Why isn't Your Highness asleep?"
Their eyes met, and they fell silent.
Shen Youying buried half her face in her fluffy scarf and said in a muffled voice, "I really can't sleep."
Xue Shen rubbed his hands together to warm them up, took the lantern with one hand, and held her cold hand with the other, saying softly, "If you can't sleep, come for a walk with me. You can sleep when you're tired. It should be easier that way."
Shen Youying hummed in response, leaning closer to him with a hint of dependence, and was led by him through the corridor.
Xue Shen was unusually silent tonight. The two held hands without speaking. Shen Youying tilted her head to look at him, feeling that his silence was not entirely due to the death of the Crown Princess.
But Shen Youying couldn't guess what could be causing his depression. After a moment's thought, she shook their clasped hands and said softly, "If Your Highness is feeling uneasy, you can tell me."
She slightly raised her eyebrows and gave Xue Shen a soft smile: "I will keep it a secret."
Xue Shen looked down at her, and for a moment, he was almost tempted to confess the guilt churning in his heart. But then he remembered that she had a good relationship with the Crown Princess, and if she knew... she would probably suffer even more than he did.
Moreover, he didn't know if Shen Youying would show fear in her eyes again after she knew everything.
I did not kill Bo Ren, but Bo Ren died because of me.
He wanted to instigate a conflict between the Crown Prince and Prince Chen, and then reap the benefits after they were both severely weakened. However, he never intended to involve the Crown Princess.
But as Xue Heng said, there are no fathers and sons in the imperial family, and the struggle for imperial power is always mixed with the blood of many innocent people.
He had seen too much, and was almost indifferent.
Until the Crown Princess also became a victim.
He then realized that he could still feel guilt. From the moment he discovered the whole truth and decided to take revenge, and from the moment he decided to involve Xue Heng as part of the revenge, he thought he had long since lost all conscience.
The once wise and gentle young crown prince had long since died in the intrigues and power struggles for the throne; now he was nothing more than a vengeful demon who would stop at nothing to seek revenge.
But when facing Shen Youying, he always habitually shows her his best and gentlest side.
He heard from the secret guards accompanying him that when Shen Youying went to the Eastern Palace, she enjoyed listening to the Crown Princess talk about the past. In those bygone years, the young Crown Prince was wise, upright, kind, and compassionate.
This is completely different from the tyrannical and tyrannical King of Qin.
Xue Shen tightened his grip, suppressing the turmoil in his heart, and said slowly, "Actually, it's nothing. It's just that seeing my sister-in-law today reminded me of my mother."
The late emperor and empress were deeply in love and had only one son. In private, the three of them lived like an ordinary family. He actually referred to his father and mother more often than the distant emperor and empress.
"My mother didn't find out she was more than three months pregnant until she passed away."
Shen Youying opened her mouth, her expression shocked, and subconsciously gripped his hand tightly.
Xue Shen gave a bitter smile: "During that time, I had just learned that I was disabled in both legs, and my emotions were not very stable. My father had to take care of the court and also secretly investigate the murderer who tried to kill me. My mother was afraid that something else might happen, so she took care of me personally without taking off her clothes... Her health was not very good to begin with, and her menstruation was irregular. Even the imperial physician said that it was impossible for her to get pregnant again..."
But then, out of nowhere, she had a child.
Even the mother herself didn't know.
It wasn't until her mother's accident and the imperial physician took her pulse that he realized she was already more than three months pregnant. Unfortunately, by then it was too late.
Shen Youying's lips parted, but she didn't know what to say to comfort his pain.
His unusual silence today was not only due to his grief over the passing of the Crown Princess, but also because he was thinking of the late Empress who had passed away at a young age.
Shen Youying didn't know if he attributed the tragedy of the late empress to himself, but she knew that he must have experienced heart-wrenching pain during that time, which is why he transformed from a spirited young crown prince into a sinister King of Qin.
Tears welled in her eyes, but she didn't want Xue Shen to see them, so she threw herself into his arms and hugged his waist tightly.
Xue Shen caught her and noticed the slight tremor in her shoulders. He gently patted her back and teased her, "What's wrong? Are you so worried about your husband?"
This time, however, Shen Youying did not shy away from answering; instead, she gave a strong "Mmm."
She quietly wiped away her tears, looked up at Xue Shen's eyes, and said, "If only I had met you sooner."
Perhaps I can't help him much, but talking to him and making him laugh can at least prevent him from experiencing that kind of pain alone.
Xue Shen's heart skipped a beat. He cupped her cheek in his hand and said in a hoarse voice, "It's not too late now."
Shen Youying smiled at him and responded softly.
The two held hands and walked along the covered corridors for most of the palace before returning to Tingmei Pavilion to rest.
Xue Shen was still wide awake, his posture ramrod straight, but Shen Youying was exhausted and sleepy, and in the end, Xue Shen carried her back.
Xue Shen took off her cloak and outer garment, then removed her shoes, placed her on the bed, and covered her with a blanket.
Shen Youying opened her eyes groggily and looked at him. Seeing that he hadn't taken off his clothes, she grabbed his sleeve somewhat dependently and asked in confusion, "Aren't you going to sleep with me?"
Xue Shen wasn't actually sleepy. After a pause, he undressed and got into bed, pulled her into his arms, gently kissed her forehead, and coaxed, "Sleep, I'll stay with you."
Shen Youying nestled in his strong, warm embrace, her forehead pressed against his chest, and fell asleep peacefully.
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