Just as she was about to freeze to death, a beam of light shone over her, accompanied by the sound of hurried footsteps.
Someone picked her up.
That embrace was not warm, but it protected us from the wind and snow.
She survived.
But many years later, she often thought that perhaps dying on that snowy night was a blessing for her.
......
When she was four years old, Li Wei had a high fever.
The body temperature rose to 40 degrees, the whole body was burning hot and the consciousness was dizzy.
The new caregiver at the welfare home thought it was just a common cold, so she gave her some fever-reducing medicine and put her back in her crib.
It was not until the next day that Li Wei was sent to the hospital by the panicked caregiver when she was convulsing all over and foaming at the mouth.
The diagnosis came out: mild epilepsy.
The doctor looked at the medical record and said something to the nursery teacher.
"If it had been delivered earlier, this could have been avoided."
At that time, she was confused and dizzy.
All she remembers is that there was always a white-haired man looking at her in the hospital corridor...
She remembered that sad look for many years.
......
When he was seven years old, a well-dressed couple came to the orphanage and wanted to adopt a child.
Because Li Wei was cute, she was the first one called over by the dean.
She changed into her best dress and stood awkwardly before the couple.
She was very thin and kept her head down, not daring to look at them.
She clutched the corner of the woman's clothes and spoke in a very low voice.
"Uncle and aunt, I can wash dishes and sweep the floor..."
A look of pity appeared on the woman's face. She squatted down and touched Li Wei's head.
The man was talking to the dean.
When the dean mentioned her medical history, the man's face changed.
The couple looked at each other, hesitation and retreat in their eyes.
In the end, they left, and it wasn't her who was taken away.
Li Wei stood at the door, watching their car disappear at the intersection, without crying.
In a trance, the corner of my eye passed by an alley.
There, there seemed to be a white-haired man looking at her...
But when Li Wei turned her gaze, the alley was empty.
......
At the age of twelve, Li Wei entered junior high school.
The welfare home gives her 200 yuan a month for living expenses, which is used for her daily food and clothing.
In order to save money, she only eats two meals a day, two steamed buns for breakfast and two steamed buns for dinner.
Winters in the north are very cold.
She only had one thin school uniform, which she wore and washed over and over again, and the cuffs were worn out.
The cold wind blew in through the gaps, making her shiver all over.
Her hands suffered from frostbite year after year, which was itchy and painful, and the open wounds were shocking to see.
......
When she was sixteen, she worked part-time in the school cafeteria to earn money for her studies.
While mopping the floor, an epileptic seizure occurred without warning.
She fell straight onto the slippery floor, the back of her head hitting the corner of the table, and blood flowed all over the floor.
Surrounded by the screams and discussions of classmates.
When she woke up, she was already in the infirmary.
With gauze wrapped around his head, the teacher sat by the bed with a complicated expression.
The news quickly spread throughout the school.
Some parents contacted the school leaders, worried that she would influence other children.
A few days later, the head teacher called her to the office.
The teacher didn't say it directly, but just advised her that her health was more important and she might as well go home and rest first.
Li Wei knew that she had been "persuaded to quit".
She silently packed her things and left the school that she once thought could change her destiny.
She has no home to return to.
She had no choice but to return to the welfare home.
Later, I heard that the parent who caused the trouble was beaten very badly.
But she was absorbed in her own sorrow and took the news to heart.
......
At the age of eighteen, because she was no longer a full-time school student, according to regulations, she had to leave the welfare home and live independently.
She became a lonely ghost struggling to survive in the city.
In order to survive, she picked up garbage, washed dishes in a restaurant kitchen, and moved bricks at a construction site.
As long as she can be paid, she will do any work, no matter how dirty or tiring it is.
Even so, she often couldn't pay the rent and had no food to eat.
She slept on a park bench and let mosquitoes bite her.
I also slept under bridges, spending nights in the stench and humidity.
One morning, she woke up in a bridge hole, carrying her woven bag, and planned to go to the river to pick up some bottles.
She looked up inadvertently and saw a white-haired man standing on the bridge, looking down at her. His expression still carried that kind of sadness that she was very familiar with.
Is he mourning for me?
Li Wei thought about it and prepared to say hello to him.
Unexpectedly, as soon as he raised his hand, the man disappeared...
It seemed as if everything that just happened was just an illusion.
......
Many years passed like this.
She was willing to endure hardships and gradually saved some money.
However, in the winter when she was twenty-three, she began to cough frequently.
At first she thought it was just a cold and didn't take it seriously.
Later, the cough became more and more severe, and I often couldn't sleep all night.
Until one day, she coughed up blood in the bathroom of her rental house.
She went to the hospital.
I took an X-ray and did a series of tests.
The doctor held the CT report and was silent for a long time before saying, "It's late-stage lung cancer, and it has metastasized to multiple locations."
Li Wei listened, her mind going blank.
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