Cold Year (2)
Chapter 17 Cold Years (2)
The bed curtain was as thin as a cicada's wing and could not cover much. She could see Feng Siji hiding behind it with his eyebrows tightly closed, his upper body exposed, and his right palm wrapped in a thick layer of gauze.
He just leaned against the headboard, not saying a word, even his breathing was so shallow that it was almost inaudible.
Perhaps knowing it was her, he didn't even open his eyes.
There were several plates of food on the small table beside the bed. Li Qi reached out to touch them, but the cold touch made her quickly retract her hand.
"The food is cold. Didn't Envoy Feng have any dinner tonight?" She took the initiative to speak and sat down on the footstool.
A faint "hmm" sound floated from behind the bed curtain, so soft and cold that if you didn't listen carefully you would think it was an illusion.
Li Qi said, "How can you not eat when you're injured? I'll make it for you again."
She stood up with the cold food and prepared to go out. In her peripheral vision, the bed curtain shook. Feng Siji lifted the curtain, his face pale, and he looked at her deeply with a frown.
She was frightened by his strange look: "What's wrong?"
Feng Siji looked her up and down.
She wore a crimson long dress, a jacket embellished with gold, and a red plum blossom bloomed at the cuffs. She had discarded her usual elaborate and exaggerated jewelry, and her cascading hair was simply tied up with a peach wood hairpin.
Peach blossom wood hairpin...
Feng Siji's fingers, which were supporting the bed, suddenly dug in so tightly that the brocade fabric under his nails was torn.
Feng Siji from Qianzhou was penniless. On his first New Year with Li Qi, he gave her a peach wood hairpin.
He made it himself, it was not worth much. He spent more than a month carefully carving the peach blossom patterns on it, and if you look closely, they form the Chinese character "绮".
If you sniff the sandalwood closely, you can smell a faint fragrance, like a peach blossom that will never wither.
"Why?" He frowned, his face showing resentment, and asked childishly, "Since you've already made your choice, why keep it?"
"What choice?" Li Qi smiled, secretly digging into the tray tightly. Pain came from her dense nails. She smiled and said, "I came here specially to comfort you."
That's why I wear this hairpin.
"Cheer me?"
"Yes, to comfort you."
This wasn't the answer he wanted, so he continued, "Don't you have anything you want to tell me?"
After he returned home, he specifically instructed his subordinates not to stop County Master Yun'an.
He couldn't eat the food that Ye Shu brought him, as his mind was full of her life living in the Prime Minister's Mansion these days.
What are she and Zhang Zhouzhu doing? What is her relationship with Zhang Zhouzhu?
He really wanted to ask and understand, but he had no position and wanted to maintain his dignity. He had already protected her, and if he asked again, she would definitely look down on him.
What's more, he had actually asked it implicitly, but she didn't answer.
He didn't know whether she would come or not, but he stubbornly leaned here and waited and waited, watching the sky outside the window change from light to dark, from dark to pitch black, and listening to the servants go from being busy to resting.
The whole world was so quiet that there was not a sound of wind. He could only hear his own faint breathing. If she didn't come, he might not even be able to hear his breathing.
She finally came but said nothing.
She never mentioned the promise she had made before, that as long as he protected her, she would kiss him every day, nor did she mention what she had done in the Prime Minister's Mansion in the past few days. She acted as if nothing had happened.
If she wants to pretend that nothing happened, she shouldn't wear this hairpin anymore.
But the man was still the same, holding the tray, his eyes curved with a smile, and asked him: "What do you want to hear me say? Or, what do you want to hear me say?"
Feng Siji felt a breath stuck in his chest, neither going up nor down, and he was almost suffocating and bleeding.
He held back: "It's not what I want to hear you say, but what do you want to say to me?"
"I want to say, I'm going to cook for you, you can't not eat." Li Qi said this and turned around with the tray.
Li Qi hadn't taken a few steps when she heard Feng Siji's chaotic footsteps behind her. She turned quickly, but before she could see what was happening, a cold hand covered her eyes, and her vision went dark. The tray in her hand was violently knocked to the ground, clattering loudly.
She exclaimed, "Feng Siji!"
Someone pushed me hard, and my back hit the cold wall. I didn't know what was knocked over, making a dull sound. Before I could react, I suddenly felt a warm and dense breath coming from the front.
Li Qi's breathing stopped.
In an instant, I could hear nothing and see nothing, and all my senses were blanked by the blindfolded palm.
Whenever they kissed in Qianzhou, he would always cover her eyes.
She held her breath and waited for a very long time. The breath in front of her gradually changed from hot and rapid to slow and cold, but the expected kiss never came.
The breath close to her left, and the hand in front of her also moved away. Li Qi slowly opened her eyes and looked at Feng Siji, who held her in his arms but did not hug her.
He demanded angrily, "If you didn't say anything, why did you wear this hairpin and come around in front of me? Why did you suddenly kiss me that day? You've been in the Prime Minister's residence for the past few days, why didn't you tell me the details?"
He seemed to choke up and asked in a humble voice, "What do you want to do about me?"
Li Qi slowly pinched her dress tightly. He finally said it clearly. Still with red eyes and anger, like a white-haired dog that had been neglected for a long time, pouring out its dissatisfaction to its owner.
"It's not about what I want to do, but what I can do." Li Qi reached out and gently stroked his hair, saying soothingly, "Even if I really did what you wanted, I would now be a murderer hated by everyone. Can you accept that?"
He said almost without hesitation: "Yes."
"But I can't." Li Qi's palms were sweaty as she clutched her dress. She gritted her teeth, raised her head, and smiled at him. "I'm a murderer, and you're the Justice Bao that others know. I can't drag you into the muddy swamp. That's what I want to do for you."
He spoke faster without realizing it: "But I've already protected you, so what difference does it make? I'm just like you now."
"The crime of covering up bribery can be concealed, but colleagues cannot."
He wanted to say more, but Li Qi pushed him away a little: "Okay. I'll go make you something to eat. Anyway, let's talk after dinner, okay?"
Feng Siji was silent for a long time, and finally nodded. But he was no longer energetic. He turned around mechanically and sat numbly on the edge of the bed.
The little light in his eyes was now gone.
Li Qi stared at him for a while, swallowed the bitterness in her throat, and slowly walked out of the room.
-
Qianzhou is rich in a kind of edible thatch, and Li Qi once used that kind of herb to make many delicacies for Feng Siji.
There is no vanilla in Kyoto or this season, but there are gorgeous plum blossoms.
Li Qi used plum blossoms instead of the fragrant grass, steamed a pot of fragrant cakes, and cooked a bowl of porridge, then took them back to the room.
Just then, Feng Siji was seen cleaning up the mess on the floor. The scattered food was swept away, and the knocked-over bamboo slips were restored to their original state. The room was as tidy as before.
His clothes were more neatly dressed than before, and his hair seemed to have been combed. He sat at the table properly, like an obedient child waiting for his meal.
But there was no spirit, and numbness was visibly evident to the naked eye.
Li Qi put the food in front of him.
He took a bite and the familiar taste made him stunned for a moment. He couldn't help but look up at Li Qi.
She looked at him with a smile, "How is it? Does it taste the same as before?"
The taste of the past.
Feng Siji was silent for a while and nodded.
He ate in a gentle manner, taking one bite at a time, without any haste or impatience. Li Qi just watched him eat. He had a high nose bridge, deep phoenix eyes, and lips of moderate thickness.
This appearance has always won her heart, both in the past and now. Even watching him eat is a pleasure.
After a while, he finished and lifted the tray and said, "You go to the study and rest. I'll clean up."
Li Qi didn't refuse and got up and went to the study.
She lit the charcoal stove herself, and the red and yellow flames filled the entire study. She leaned on Feng Siji's armchair, warming herself by the fire while flipping through his books, leaning against the cloak he had left there.
The warm air was quiet, and the only sound was the rustling of pages being turned.
It was so warm and comfortable. Li Qi's body, which had been tired for a long time, was finally relaxed and she fell asleep unconsciously.
-
When Feng Siji pushed the door open, he saw Li Qi sleeping with her head resting on his cloak.
The warm stove occasionally emitted the crackling sound of sparks. She was sleeping sweetly beside him, unaffected by it. She held his bamboo slips in her hands, her waist curled up, which was a very insecure sleeping position.
He moved slowly, walked forward, took off his cloak and covered her with it.
She was awakened, opened her eyes hazily, and after seeing that it was him, she reached out to hug him: "Si Ji, you are finally back. How is it? Can the konghou be repaired?"
Feng Si was stunned.
Does she think they are still in Qianzhou?
The second New Year they spent together, he gave her a guzheng.
The governor demanded that she play the qin day and night, but she could not bear the humiliation and deliberately broke the strings in order to be spared. He carried the qin on his back to find someone to repair it, and she waited for him at home.
He came home late that day and couldn't even spend the Lantern Festival with her. When he got home, he saw her sleeping on his desk.
Warm memories came flooding back, and Feng Siji bent down, hugged her with her outstretched hands, and said, "The konghou can't be repaired."
She buried her head in his chest and muttered, "What should I do? It took you half a year's salary to buy it. What a waste."
His voice was soft, like a sweet candy: "Buy a new one and start all over again, okay?"
Including us, we also start over.
"Okay." Li Qi nestled in his arms, closed her eyes and leaned forward. The hairpin in her hair was across his nostrils, and the fragrance of the hairpin filled his breath.
He hugged her tighter: "New Year's Eve is coming soon. I'll take you to pick something out then. It'll be your New Year's gift, okay?"
"OK."
The person in his arms was very well-behaved, just like in Qianzhou, relying on him and liking him. He was reluctant to let go, reluctant to break this fantasy, and continued to coax her: "Will you celebrate the New Year together this year?"
"That's natural."
"What about next year?"
"I want to come together too."
"What about the future?"
"Don't ask, it's annoying. Let's just be together, always together, year after year, okay?"
Feng Siji smiled, recalling their first New Year in Qianzhou. When she received the hairpin he gave her, she hugged him and kissed him, smiling sweetly and saying, "I want to be with Feng Siji year after year."
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