23 Dead Heart
"Are you satisfied?"
Jiang Yan's joy came to an abrupt end, and the corners of his lips gradually drooped.
"You asked me to come here just for this?"
"Yes." Cui Huaifeng looked unusually serious.
Jiang Yan stared intently at Cui Huaifeng, trying to discern a clue from his expression, but he found nothing. He'd genuinely believed the rumors about his intention to take a concubine and had come to him for an explanation. Jiang Yan couldn't help but sneer, his anger growing steadily.
Jiang Yan was about to retort, but then she remembered Cui Huaifeng's hidden jade pendant, and her anger intensified. She wanted to live a good life, but he was still obsessed with his ex-wife. Besides, after all her sincerity and dedication over the years, wasn't she worthy of his trust?
The resentment that had been buried deep in his heart for a long time finally erupted at this moment. Jiang Yan shouted angrily in excitement, "Yes! I do want to take a concubine."
Cui Huaifeng's pupils suddenly shrank and he froze on the spot.
Jiang Yan's eyes were filled with scorching anger, but her expression was cold. She asked sarcastically, "Are you satisfied?"
Cui Huaifeng opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
Jiang Yan grew angrier and angrier as he thought about it. He then sneered, "What qualifications do you have to ask me this? You can marry Zhao Qiuxin, but I can't take a concubine, right?"
"Besides, you and I had already secretly agreed to spend our lives together, and you said you'd wait for me. And what happened? You ended up getting married. So, after all, do you have any feelings for me? You married because the Cui family asked you to. Have you done anything for me in the meantime?"
Listening to Jiang Yan's tearful answers and questions, Cui Huaifeng felt cold all over, his hands and feet went numb, his brain went blank for a moment, and he could hardly think.
Jiang Yan couldn't calm down after venting her anger. Feeling upset, she said "It's up to you" and was about to leave.
Cui Huaifeng's thoughts stopped, but his body moved instinctively. He hurriedly grabbed the corner of her clothes, and his calm eyes were replaced by unprecedented panic.
Jiang Yan paused, she tilted her head and lowered her eyes to glance at his clenched fingers, feeling very uncomfortable, but thinking of the past made her furious, so she hardened her heart, exerted a little force with her arms, broke free from his restraints, and left the study without mercy.
Cui Huaifeng slowly lowered his head and looked at his empty palms, his hands trembling slightly.
What slipped away from his grasp was not only Jiang Yan's clothes, but also her feelings. He knew that he could not keep her.
Jiang Yan, the one with bright eyes and a warm and sincere expression in the ginkgo forest who said that she would never take a servant in her life, is no longer with us. Cui Huaifeng suddenly feels very sad.
A fierce sadness swept over me, piercing my heart.
——
Jiang Yan left the study and wanted to go back, but she forced herself to hold back. In fact, she realized that something was wrong the moment the words came out of her mouth, but she was just emotional. When she came to her senses, she had already said something harsh. Now that things have come to this, she doesn't know what to do.
Jiang Yan's chest heaved, her irritation tinged with a subtle guilt. She stood there for a moment, calming down a bit before calling Zhu Jin. Before Zhu Jin could even speak, Jiang Yan sternly ordered, "Go and find out where the rumor about my concubine started, and kick the person who started it out of the palace. Tell the people below to remember that the only two masters of this palace are me and Zhengjun. If any more nonsense gets to Zhengjun, don't blame me for being ruthless."
"Yes." Zhu Jin nodded and left to do his work.
Jiang Yan stood near the garden, feeling annoyed by the withered grass and the annoying stone bricks. Most importantly, she didn't dare to face Cui Huaifeng's hurt expression when she refused his attempt to keep him.
Jiang Yan sat in the pavilion covered with soft mats, feeling very upset. She sighed heavily and felt more and more regretful the more she thought about it.
What happened to me at that time? How could I say such words? I knew clearly that his father was forced to death by the maid, and was even made the wife not long after his death. Because of this, he had been walking on thin ice in the Cui Mansion for so many years. Why did I... Alas!
He was such an arrogant and cold person. He put aside his pride and tried to keep me, but I still rejected him. How sad he must have been... What was he thinking at that time? How could I leave him alone?
Jiang Yan stood up suddenly, but lost her courage the next moment and sat back dejectedly. She was afraid that he would be even angrier if he saw her.
Jiang Yan thought about it over and over again but didn't know what to do. He didn't dare to leave the house or see him, so he just sat in the pavilion until dark.
The night stained the quiet garden blue, and only when the night breeze passed by did Jiang Yan regain her composure. After a few hours of solitude, her emotions had stabilized considerably.
She knew that sitting there any longer was no solution, so after hesitating for a long time, she stood up and left the pavilion. She asked a passing servant about Cui Huaifeng's whereabouts and went straight back to her bedroom.
Before entering the house, Jiang Yan had thought of every possible situation, whether he was cold or disgusted, or beat or scolded, he just hoped that he would not be sad in secret anymore.
But after opening the door, Jiang Yan found that Cui Huaifeng had already gone to bed early.
Jiang Yan froze beside the bed like a deflated balloon, unsure whether to leave or stay. She thought for a moment, then decided to follow her heart. She turned off the few remaining lights, walked to the bed, threw back the covers, and lay down. Cui Huaifeng seemed to be asleep, unresponsive.
Jiang Yan turned sideways and looked at Cui Huaifeng's peaceful sleeping face with infatuation, and the emotions that had been suppressed during the day surged again.
She misses him very much.
Jiang Yan carefully put her arm around Cui Huaifeng's waist. The solid hug finally made Jiang Yan feel more at ease. At least he was still by her side. She would apologize when he felt better one day, Jiang Yan thought vaguely.
Without dinner and with the tension in the past few days, Jiang Yan gradually felt sleepy and fell asleep unknowingly.
After Jiang Yan fell asleep, Cui Huaifeng slowly opened his eyes.
The two of them clung to each other tightly, and the warmth from Jiang Yan's body couldn't warm him at all.
Cui Huaifeng turned around and stared at Jiang Yan for a long time. He reached out and held Jiang Yan's hand on his waist, squeezed it gently a few times, and then held it affectionately.
He actually loves her too.
But he couldn't love her anymore.
Jiang Yan left during the day. After being extremely sad, he became terrifyingly calm, as if his past self had known that this day would come sooner or later.
He thought again of the quarrel between his mother and father. At that time, his mother said that she wanted to take a maid, and his father thought it was just a temper tantrum. Deep down in his heart, he still had some hope. After all, they had been together for many years, and he didn't believe that his lover would treat him like this.
But not long after, my mother really did as she said and married her husband in a grand ceremony. At that moment, my father was forced to face reality.
He didn't know how much sincerity and how little hypocrisy Jiang Yan had in saying he wanted to take a concubine, and he didn't want to wait for a result in a long time.
The most important thing is that he already has a child with two people. He doesn't just think about himself, but also about the child in his belly.
He felt that he could not tolerate Jiang Yan marrying someone else. Instead of being entangled in suspicion, it would be better for him to end the relationship first.
He thought maybe he should leave.
【Author’s words】
Thank you to the little angels who voted for me or provided me with nutrient solution between 2024-05-18 18:00:07 and 2024-05-20 18:00:07~
Thanks to the little angel who irrigated the nutrient solution: I must pass 3 bottles of the final exam;
Thank you very much for your support. I will continue to work hard!
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