Chapter 338 Guilt
After her husband was murdered and she had no way to avenge him, Lou Qingyao learned about the powerful figures in the capital. In her mind, the Marquis of Anyuan's mansion was a force that could rival the Prime Minister's mansion. Therefore, upon seeing the seal of the Marquis of Anyuan's mansion, tears involuntarily streamed down her face, for she had seen hope.
She wiped away her tears and began to read the contents word by word. After reading it several times, she took out a tinderbox and burned the paper. She had Yunxiang carefully dispose of the ashes, leaving no trace.
When Yunxiang returned after dealing with the ashes, she said, "Go and find out if the master is home."
"Yes." Yunxiang immediately turned and left. She guessed that Lou Qingyao might have some plan, but she didn't dare to ask any further questions. She only hoped that Lou Qingyao's plan would go smoothly, regardless of whether it was for revenge or not.
As soon as she stepped out of the courtyard, she felt several gazes fixed on her. She felt a little uncomfortable, but showed no sign of it on her face, and strode towards the main courtyard.
Upon arriving, she didn't hide; she went directly to the servant guarding the gate and asked if Physician Lou was inside. Knowing Physician Lou's guilt and affection towards Lou Qingyao, the servant, seeing Lou Qingyao's maid inquiring, immediately replied:
"Master just returned to the manor a little while ago."
Yunxiang thanked him and returned to the guest courtyard. The servant watched his retreating figure disappear, pondered for a moment, and then went to report to Physician Lou. Physician Lou was both pleased and somewhat apprehensive when his daughter's maid inquired about his presence. He feared that Lou Qingyao would again question him about why he hadn't helped her take revenge.
Meanwhile, Yunxiang returned to the guest courtyard and met Lou Qingyao, informing her that Imperial Physician Lou had just returned to the manor. Upon hearing this, Lou Qingyao stood up and said, "Let's go see Father."
"Yes." Yunxiang still didn't dare ask why, but her face showed confusion. Lou Qingyao saw this and told her, "You'll know in a moment."
Yunxiang nodded, and Lou Qingyao took a deep breath, stepping out as if heading to battle. Upon reaching the entrance of the Lou Imperial Physician's residence, she saw Zhou Song, the physician's personal attendant, standing there. Seeing her approach, Zhou Song quickly stepped forward and bowed.
"Greetings, Miss. Master is waiting for you inside."
Lou Qingyao hummed in agreement and stepped inside. Reaching the study door, she silently took a deep breath before entering. The imperial physician, Lou, immediately stood up upon seeing her, forcing a smile—an awkward and cautious one.
"Yao'er is here, please sit down."
Lou Qingyao walked over and bowed to him, saying, "Father."
"Oh dear." When Doctor Lou saw that his daughter had lost a lot of weight, his nose tingled with emotion. He quickly said, "Please sit down."
Lou Qingyao sat down opposite him, then lowered her head and remained silent. The imperial physician looked at her, opening his mouth as if to say something, but unsure what to say. After a moment's thought, he asked, "Have you been eating well these days?"
This was a relatively safe topic, but Lou Qingyao did not answer his question. Instead, she said, "Father, I still remember the scene of the day you set off for the capital very clearly."
Upon hearing this, Doctor Lou's face showed sorrow. He also remembered what he had said to his daughter back then.
“It was a very cold day, and snowflakes were falling from the sky.” Lou Qingyao said expressionlessly, “My grandparents and I saw my father off at the pavilion outside the city. Without my mother, and with my father having to leave again, I really wanted to cry. I wanted to cry and tell you not to go, and if you had to go, take me with you.”
Doctor Lou's weathered face was filled with remorse. He wanted to explain himself, but didn't know how. Just then, Lou Qingyao's voice rang out again:
“But I held back my tears at the time because my grandparents told me that my father left for his future and for the prosperity of the family. I had to be sensible and not let my father worry.”
Lou Qingyao looked at Doctor Lou. "At that time, my father squatted down and pulled my cloak around me, saying, 'You will be back soon. When you come back, you will bring me beautiful clothes, delicious pastries, and lots of dolls.' I thought to myself, 'I don't want any of those things. I want my father to be by my side.'"
"Yao'er..." Doctor Lou called softly, but then didn't know how to explain.
“Father lied,” Lou Qingyao said, tears welling in her eyes. “From the time I was four years old when my father left until I got married at sixteen, he never came back once. Did my father know how children in the family live without their parents by their side?”
From the age of four, I had to be mindful of people's moods and pretend to be well-behaved and sensible to please my grandparents. Besides them, I also had to ingratiate myself with my uncles, aunts, cousins, and other relatives so I wouldn't be bullied.
"Yao'er..." Doctor Lou's eyes also filled with tears.
Lou Qingyao wiped away her tears with a handkerchief and continued, "My husband is dead, and Father doesn't want me to avenge him. But Father, how am I supposed to live? Go back to the Wu family? My husband and I came to the capital to seek refuge with Father, but my husband died there. Will the Wu family accept me?"
Returning to the Lingyi Lou family? My grandfather and grandmother are both gone, and neither are you. Do you think my uncles would allow a married woman like me to return home?
"This is your home, and you will live here from now on." Doctor Lou said firmly, "Yao'er, before, your father had not been able to gain a foothold in the capital and could not bring you to his side. But now it is possible. No one in this mansion dares to say a bad word about you."
"I want to practice medicine," Lou Qingyao said.
Doctor Lou frowned, and then Lou Qingyao continued, "In those years when my father was not at home, I studied medicine diligently in order to please my grandfather. My grandfather saw that I had a talent for medicine, so he began to teach me. In the Lingyi gynecology field, I am quite well-known."
Imperial Physician Lou frowned and thought for a while before saying, "Alright, but this matter must be handled slowly. The capital is not like Lingyi; there are many high-ranking officials and nobles here. One wrong move could lead to your death..."
Lou Qingyao's husband is a case in point, but Doctor Lou didn't want his daughter to keep thinking about the dead, so he was especially careful when saying the words "danger to her life."
Lou Qingyao lowered her eyes, radiating sorrow, but said nothing. Imperial Physician Lou breathed a sigh of relief; he feared Lou Qingyao would again speak of avenging her husband.
"I'll find an opportunity for you to try your skills," Doctor Lou instructed softly. "There are many powerful and influential people in the capital, and their networks of relationships are intricate and complex. Although we doctors don't participate in their power struggles, we still need to know about their relationships. I'll have someone explain to you the network of relationships among these powerful and influential people in the capital later."
"good."
Seeing that she no longer mentioned revenge and was so obedient, Doctor Lou smiled and said, "I will send someone to Lingyi later to negotiate with the Wu family and get your dowry back."
Lou Qingyao nodded again, and Doctor Lou was even more pleased. He said, "Study your medical skills diligently, and I will find an opportunity to recommend you to the Imperial Hospital."
Lou Qingyao looked surprised. "Can a woman enter the Imperial Hospital?"
Imperial Physician Lou chuckled twice. "It wasn't possible before, but it will be in the future. The Duke of Chu entered the court as a woman and inherited his title. Grand Tutor Yan's granddaughter also entered the Imperial Crafts Bureau. So why can't the Imperial Medical Academy have female physicians?"
At this point, he thought of Lu Shaocheng's conversation with him. Lu Shaocheng was the Duke of Chu's cousin, and he had heard that the Prime Minister and the old Duke of Chu had always been at odds. It was very likely that Lu Shaocheng's visit to him was at the Duke of Chu's behest.
Moreover, he saw the Duke of Chu at Tingfeng Pavilion at the time.
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