Chapter 842 Please Spare Me
Lord Zhao's junior brother was Song Chunxue.
Looking at Lord Zhao's smiling face, Huineng suddenly felt as if a thorn had been pierced in his heart, and he was very sad.
Perhaps it was because he had been a monk for so long, without any emotions or desires, that his heart was as still as water. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed by the memory of that period of hardship and poverty that was suffocating. He could not ignore it and kept recalling every little detail of those years.
Regret is always more unforgettable and more deeply etched in one's memory than happiness.
He often hated himself for being a blockhead, heartless, and ruthless when he was Jiang Shuming.
How could he let a frail woman beg for food on her way back from the fields?
How could he be so lazy? He knew she was in postpartum confinement, yet he wouldn't cook her a meal.
Why was he so stupid and hateful? It was because he was the only son in the family, and because Song Chunxue was a bought wife, that he treated her like livestock.
He hated himself. When he hadn't become a monk and instead was a poor, illiterate farmer, he was the most hateful kind of person.
Every time he wakes up in the middle of the night, those memories vividly resurface in his mind. He remembers her thin shoulders carrying a bundle of firewood from the mountains in the sweltering summer heat. He even wanted to beat Jiang Shuming into a fool when he saw her talking to a man in the village and giving him a smile.
Why, why make him recall those unbearable memories, to see how despicable and hateful he was as a person?
Seeing the suffering that woman had endured, he was filled with remorse and could not find peace of mind.
Is he unable to let go of Song Chunxue?
Was he feeling sorry for the woman who silently and painstakingly raised five children?
Does he want to make up for what he did wrong back then?
Is he trying to treat her well because he feels guilty?
His smile was more like a grimace than a cry, or perhaps both.
When the monk was holding a cup of tea with tears streaming down his face, the other three Taoist priests in the room were stunned.
The first to stand up was Master Zhang. "What's wrong?"
Lord Zhao said with a sigh, "I'm sorry, although she was once your wife, it's understandable that you can't let go of her."
He handed her a clean white handkerchief. "But you may not know that she once lived. The reason she is so insightful now is that God gave her a chance to start over."
"She said that she had lived to her seventies and never saw you again, a whole lifetime had passed. If you suddenly reappear, she will only resent you more."
Huineng suddenly froze. "She really lived again? She told you herself?"
Master Zhang spoke up, “I can testify that I knew the first time I saw her that her destiny had been altered and she was no longer bound by her past life’s fate. So it’s a good thing that no one knows her birth date, as she won’t be suppressed by her destiny.”
Huineng wiped away his tears and stared blankly ahead.
Master Han handed him a wine pot. "Have a drink, just a little will make you feel better. If you're too embarrassed to drink, then tell me a true story. All of your masters and senior masters have broken the precepts."
Huineng clutched his chest, "I know, but I don't want to break the precept."
"Drinking is the most insignificant thing. How innocent is alcohol? Just because it can temporarily suppress the weaknesses of human nature, should we be warned to stay away from it? Isn't the truth that we are afraid that alcohol will expose the evil hidden deep in our souls?"
Lord Zhao nudged Master Han's foot under the table, signaling him not to stir up trouble.
He poured tea for the monk and said, "Don't listen to him. He's a Taoist priest of the Quanzhen School on the surface, but he's misleading monks like this in private. Just follow your heart."
Huineng's eyes reddened again. Despite his resolute forehead and jawline, he was as soft-hearted as a child.
If he hadn't been so well protected by the abbots and monks of the temple over the years, and hadn't suddenly been given a real and cruel memory, he wouldn't be so deeply trapped in it and unable to save himself.
“Lord Zhao, it’s not that I can’t let her go, but rather that I haven’t resolved my inner conflict and want to make up for what I’ve missed. Why can’t you give me a chance?”
Lord Zhao sighed helplessly, “Your appearance has only disturbed her Dao heart. After seeing you last time, she hid from everyone on the mountain for half a month after returning from Kunlun Mountain. Why torture each other?”
Huineng took a deep breath, countless emotions surging within his chest. The complex emotions tugged at his heart like a sweet poison, causing him both pain and fascination.
“Monk, seeing that you are a man of passion, I advise you to learn more from Zhang Chengxuan. Although he did not live as long as I did, I am inferior to him in this regard. You should take him as your teacher in this matter.”
While Master Han was speaking, Lord Zhao stomped on him several times under the table.
Master Han didn't even try to hide, afraid that if no one spoke out, those involved would mistakenly think he was a living bodhisattva who was indifferent to joy and sorrow.
Master Zhang smiled wryly, picked up his wine cup, and said, "Master Han, please spare me."
Master Han also raised his glass, saying, "But I admire you very much, and I even want to write a story about you."
"Clang~"
With a slight lapse in concentration, Master Zhang lost his grip on the wine cup and spilled it completely.
"Senior, please don't. I'm just an ordinary little Taoist priest, with only a few minor setbacks in my life."
Lord Zhao rubbed his forehead and picked up his chopsticks to eat.
Anyway, there's no way to stop him, so let him be.
He felt a bit tense listening to it, as if he were riding a sword through towering mountains, with undulating terrain and winding roads, sometimes even feeling like he was falling from a great height, which was very exciting.
Fortunately, he was a cultivator, and at his age, he wouldn't be like an elderly person who would easily lose his life due to a sudden rush of blood to the head when agitated.
Master Han took a sip of wine, and his smile was subtle as he looked at Master Zhang.
"No, no, you are the person I admire most, without exception. Recently, I had some free time and flipped through two popular novels. The authors were very talented and the plots were full of ups and downs, but they lacked flesh and blood. I always felt that something was missing."
His smile widened, and with his elbows on the table, he said with great interest, "But seeing you, Zhang Chengxuan, I finally know what's missing."
"..." Zhang Chengxuan looked at the chicken leg on the table that he hadn't even had time to tear off and had taken a couple of big bites of, and wondered what was wrong with Master Han today. Was he going to reveal his true form on the night of the full moon?
Those popular storybooks dared to write anything and included all sorts of quirks.
He also heard that Master Han quite liked writing, but he didn't know if it was true.
He's easily embarrassed and doesn't want to be the protagonist in the book.
Master Huineng asked curiously, "What's missing?"
"..."
"..."
Lord Zhao couldn't help but laugh, while Master Zhang felt itchy all over and wanted to escape.
Master Han smiled, "We lack the kind of forbearance and restraint that Master Han possesses, a tenacity that tugs at the heartstrings. We also lack his selflessness, his foolishness in sacrificing his life for strangers, and his willingness to die for love..."
"Ahem, Master Han, don't talk nonsense. I, Zhang, am a heartless and cold-blooded person..."
Huineng interrupted him earnestly, “I used to think of myself as such a person, but I don’t think so now. I don’t believe it. I have walked in the world for many years and seen all kinds of people, but I have never met anyone who could make you lose your soul.”
“Exactly.” Master Han raised an eyebrow. “I don’t believe it either.”
"Ahem, don't make things difficult for him," Lord Zhao said, trying to smooth things over.
What kind of person is she?
"..." Zhang Chengxuan smiled bitterly. Master Han was using him as a sacrifice to the heavens for this drinking session.
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