When he was young, Qin Peng once thought, when would he be considered to be truly in love with someone, to the point where he should get married and be together?

It's easy to admire and to like someone, but it's hard to love each other.

Because that means that you are not just liking this person unilaterally, you have to get along with him, you have to devote your whole life to him. You have to truly understand him, know what he is thinking, and give the right response.

At that moment, you don't need to think too much, you will naturally feel that you should be with this person for the rest of your life.

Qin Peng lay on his back, listening to the sound of swords and the steady heartbeat of this man. She clutched his clothes tightly. She knew without him saying anything that he was going to send her to Beiyan.

He knew that she didn't want to be a burden to him, and she also knew that he couldn't bear to see her get hurt in the slightest.

The boy's obsession and love, when it comes to the other person's safety, he chooses to make her life better without hesitation.

But she was unwilling. She held him stubbornly and said over and over again: "Don't leave me, Shu Huai, I will accompany you, I will accompany you..."

She was willing to accompany him to the dangerous place of dragons and tigers in Beiyan, but she couldn't, leaving him alone from the age of 20 to 26, going through the most cruel time.

This time, she wanted to accompany him.

However, Qin Shuhuai's face was calm. He carried her on his back and said softly, "Pengpeng, take a nap. You will be fine after a nap."

Qin Peng didn't dare to sleep. She tried hard to keep her eyes open, for fear that when she woke up, the man would be gone.

However, she was injured too badly and her vision gradually went dark.

She fell into a long dream. In the dream, she saw Qin Shuhuai. He wore a white shirt and blue robe when he was young, armor and black clothes when he was in the north, and a purple robe and a golden crown when he returned to Beijing...

This time, she didn't run away on purpose, she followed his footsteps.

She never told him that she had always been by his side throughout his life, from being a humble person to holding power.

She had walked through so many thorny roads and was not afraid to accompany him.

She tightly grasped at anything she could grab, and when she woke up from her trance, she found herself holding someone's hand.

She turned her head and saw the person sleeping on the bed. She blinked, and the other person noticed that she was awake and slowly opened his eyes.

Seeing her eyes narrowed, he habitually put his hand on her forehead. Qin Peng couldn't help but called out, "Shu Huai?"

Qin Shuhuai looked up at her, seeming a little tired: "Are you awake?"

He took his hand back and said calmly, "You're fine. You've stabilized now. Just take some time to recover."

Qin Peng nodded. Qin Shuhuai tried to pull his hand out of hers, but she held it tightly. Qin Shuhuai looked up at her, his eyes turning around and around, as if he had countless words to say.

Zhao Yu came in with the medicine. Seeing the two holding hands, Zhao Yu's eyes darkened, but he quickly smiled and walked into the house: "Sister, are you awake?"

Qin Peng raised his eyes to look at Zhao Yu, and asked in confusion: "Ayu?"

"I heard something happened to you, so I rushed over." Zhao Yu walked to the bedside and looked Qin Peng up and down: "Sister, are you okay?"

"Nothing, I'm leaving now."

Qin Shuhuai pulled his sleeves, and Qin Peng suddenly raised his voice: "Stop right there!"

Qin Shuhuai paused and said nothing. Qin Peng panted slightly: "What is your attitude?"

"The Northern Emperor will return to the north soon." Without looking at him, Qin Shuhuai finally gained great courage. He took a deep breath and said with difficulty: "You go with him."

Qin Peng clenched his fists, suppressed all his anger and resentment, and looked up at Zhao Yu: "Ayu, get out."

Zhao Yu nodded, put down the medicine bowl, and walked out.

After he left, Qin Peng struggled to get up: "I knew... you were afraid that something would happen to me, so you wanted me to go to Beiyan."

Hearing the sound of her standing up, Qin Shuhuai finally couldn't bear it anymore, turned around, pushed her back to the couch with his hand, and sighed: "Go to sleep first, don't be angry."

"Qin Shuhuai," Qin Peng grabbed his sleeve tightly: "Have you asked me what I think?"

Qin Shuhuai said nothing, his eyelashes trembled slightly, and his eyes fell on the wound on her hand.

"I'm afraid something might happen to you."

His voice was calm, but Qin Peng could hear the suppressed fear in it: "I can't bear it. I'll let you die again."

"Peng Peng," he raised his eyes and frowned. He was smiling, but he looked like he was about to cry at any moment. "Go to Beiyan and wait for me, okay?"

"What are you waiting for?" Qin Peng responded calmly: "I'm not someone who needs protection all the time. Stay here, I can still help you."

"Why don't you understand?!"

Qin Shuhuai finally couldn't help himself and raised his voice: "I have come here alone for so many years, do you really need me to stay here this time?!"

"It's because you've been walking alone for so many years," Qin Peng said with extra tenacity, "that's why I can't leave you alone."

Hearing this, Qin Shuhuai was slightly stunned. He stared at Qin Peng blankly, completely unable to come back to his senses.

Qin Peng knew his worry, held his hand, and said softly: "Shu Huai, don't worry, I won't die."

"This isn't the first time I've been reborn," she said softly, "I'll really be fine. If I do die again, I'll come to you first."

"You..." Qin Shuhuai trembled slightly: "Isn't this your first rebirth?"

"I am not."

As the words came out, many details of the past flashed through Qin Shuhuai's mind.

She had shown the possibility that she was Jiang Yi countless times, and he even thought at one point that she was Jiang Yi.

She once dug for silver in his backyard, and that villa was originally where Dong Wanyi lived.

He opened his mouth, and a terrible thought came to his mind: "Are you...reborn for...Jiang Yi..."

Qin Peng didn't expect Qin Shuhuai's brain to work so quickly, but after a moment of surprise, she nodded: "Yes."

"So," Qin Shuhuai couldn't help but take a step back: "Who did I kill back then, you or Jiang Yi?"

"It's me."

"Why..." Qin Shuhuai suppressed his emotions: "Why didn't you tell me? You were reborn, you are by my side, I married you and you are my wife again, and you didn't tell me?!"

"Shu Huai..." Qin Peng knew he would react like this, so she had never said it. But now that he had guessed it, she didn't hide it: "When I was reborn, I lost part of my memory. At that time, I thought you killed me."

"What did you lose your memory of?"

"From the time I left Yandu until my death, my memories are fragmentary. I only remember that you fed me the poison."

"I fed you poison?" Qin Shuhuai laughed sarcastically: "If you hadn't kept crying and begging me, would I have fed you poison?!"

"I know," Qin Peng took a deep breath; "I know now, Shu Huai, I was wrong."

"Qin Peng," Qin Shuhuai raised his eyes and looked at her; "Now that we are at this point, let me ask you again, besides Jiang Yi, have you ever been reincarnated as someone else?"

Qin Peng was slightly stunned, but without her saying anything, looking into Qin Shuhuai's eyes, she knew that he knew everything.

Qin Peng smiled slowly: "Don't you know everything?"

"The yard where you dig for silver is the only one that Dong Wanyi has ever lived in."

Qin Shuhuai suddenly felt that the world was so absurd. He walked up to Qin Peng and looked down at her: "So, you married me three times, right?"

"Yes," Qin Peng's eyes were full of happiness: "Shu Huai, look, we are so destined to be together."

Qin Shuhuai didn't say anything. He looked at Qin Peng and only asked, "Does it hurt?"

Qin Peng didn't understand what he said and stared at him blankly. Qin Shuhuai fixed his eyes on her abdomen and said harshly, "Does it hurt to die from seven swords?"

Qin Peng finally understood. He was asking her if it would hurt when she died.

"This is a secret medicine from the palace. If it touches your lips, you will die. Does it hurt?"

“Actually…” Qin Peng smiled bitterly: “It was the most painful when I died for the first time.”

"It was so hopeless at that time," she chuckled. "I can't remember exactly what happened, but I remember that I was in your arms, and you were the only person I had ever loved. I was willing to give up so much for you and accompany you to Nanqi. I thought I could overcome all the difficulties and obstacles ahead, but I didn't expect to die in your hands."

"The poison enters the intestines and it really hurts."

Qin Peng closed his eyes and thought back to those days: "It hurt so much that every time I think about it day and night, I break out in a cold sweat. Later, I wondered, why did it hurt so much?"

Then she opened her eyes and looked at him: "Now I understand, because this is given by my love."

"It's filled with the poison of despair. How can it not hurt?"

Qin Shuhuai looked into her eyes, his heart filled with pain, and he felt like he could hardly breathe.

Every word and description she made cut sharp wounds in his heart, revealing his uselessness and absurdity over the years.

He thought he had avenged her.

He tried his best, he took every step carefully, he gave up his bottom line and principles, and perished with these people.

What's the result?

He killed her, over and over again.

Qin Shuhuai's hands trembled slightly under his sleeves. His mind flashed with her appearance before death, Jiang Yi's appearance before death, and Dong Wanyi's appearance before death...

Why didn't he realize that they were one person?

Why, when she was clearly beside him, did he never notice?

Why...

"Why don't you ask me?"

He felt that he could no longer support himself and felt that he might collapse at any time.

However, he still wanted an answer. He looked at her quietly and said, "You know you lost your memory for two months. You know who I am, but you did nothing. You only believed in your memory and convicted me."

"You're punishing me."

He raised his hands, covered his eyes, and laughed out loud: "Qin Peng, I have been living a miserable life for six years. You must have felt very happy watching me."

Qin Peng's face turned pale. She opened her mouth but couldn't say anything.

Why?

Why, knowing that there were so many possible misunderstandings, she never told him?

She knew the answer in her heart, but she couldn't say it to this person.

"Back then you always told me that you loved me and liked me."

Qin Shuhuai's laughter slowly subsided: "You have always said this to me since I first met you. After so long, I began to believe it."

"Now I understand..."

He put his hand down and looked at Qin Peng, his expression bitter and gentle: "Pengpeng, to be honest, you have never believed in me, and you have never truly loved me."

"Why did I have such a miserable six years?"

“The reason is simple.”

"Peng Peng, you don't love me enough."

These words instantly made Qin Peng panic. She grabbed Qin Shuhuai's sleeve and said anxiously: "Shuhuai, it's all over! It's all over!"

Qin Shuhuai looked at her quietly. Her face was full of fear, completely different from the arrogant girl back then.

He opened his mouth, but in the end, he only said one sentence - I don't believe it.

"Peng Peng," he said with a bitter smile, "You told me that you loved me back then. What happened later?"

"I don't believe a word you say now," he trembled slightly. "Go to Beiyan, and I'm afraid you should stay in Qi."

"I'm not afraid that you'd get hurt," he said, raising his hand to touch her face, "I'm afraid that you'd hurt me."

"Qin Shuhuai!"

Qin Peng raised his voice: "Don't say angry words."

“I never say anything in anger.”

Qin Shuhuai said calmly: "Qin Peng, please go."

After saying that, Qin Shuhuai stood up, waved his sleeves and left.

This time he was really leaving. When she was alive and kicking, it was impossible to keep him. Now she couldn't keep him anymore.

She knew that he had suffered a lot during those six years, and she also knew that he had had a very difficult time during those six years.

These injuries are objective facts that cannot be erased, so when I think about them, I feel even more heartbroken.

Qin Peng stumbled to his feet and chased after him, but Qin Shuhuai didn't even look back.

Qin Peng chased him out the door, and Zhao Yu anxiously followed and supported Qin Peng: "Sister, go back and rest!"

"Don't worry about it." Qin Peng pushed him away and staggered out following Qin Shuhuai's steps.

Qin Shuhuai got on the carriage. Qin Peng chased him to the gate of the mansion and roared, "Qin Shuhuai!"

Qin Shuhuai got into the carriage directly, as if he had heard nothing. Qin Peng walked forward, panting, and trotted after the carriage.

The wind filled her lungs. Zhao Yu stood at the door, watching quietly.

Qin Shuhuai sat in the carriage, listening to the people behind him calling his name. He clenched his fists and didn't dare to look back.

Jiang Chun said anxiously: "My Lord, the princess is still behind us. She can't hold on any longer. Please stop!"

"Walk."

"My Lord, you two finally got together. If there are any storms, you can just go through them together. Isn't that good?"

"What do you understand?" Qin Shuhuai looked up at him, his tone filled with uncontrollable fear. He stared at Jiang Chun, tears in his eyes: "She has died three times."

Jiang Chun was slightly stunned, and heard Qin Shuhuai say: "I really can't protect her. I may be weak the first time, but what about the second time? The third time? She has died for me three times, do I want her to die a fourth time?!"

"My Lord..."

Seeing the moisture in Qin Shuhuai's eyes, Jiang Chun was so shocked that he was completely speechless. Qin Shuhuai raised his hands to cover his face and leaned against the wall of the carriage.

"It's my fault. I didn't realize it was her, I didn't pay attention to her, and I didn't protect her. If I were smarter and more capable, I wouldn't be in this situation today."

"I can't protect her, so I let her go."

"Prince," Jiang Chun sighed softly, "Jiang Chun understands."

"Later, I will accompany the prince to Beiyan and bring the princess back."