Those words were like thunder, swept by a strong wind and rushed into Qin Shuhuai's heart.
All he could think of was Zhao Peng's smiling face back then.
When he was twelve or thirteen years old, looking into Zhao Peng's eyes, he felt that Zhao Peng would never be able to see anyone other than him in his life.
When she was fourteen, looking into Zhao Peng's eyes, she felt that Zhao Peng disdained to look at anyone other than him, Qin Shuhuai.
When she was fifteen or sixteen years old, Zhao Peng became Princess Yuyang and his wife. When he looked at Zhao Peng, he found that there seemed to be no one in Zhao Peng's eyes.
Every time he would use roaring to emphasize that Zhao Peng loved him, but all the comfort he had received over the years collapsed and turned to ashes under Liu Shuyan's words.
He had to face such a cruel fact.
Even back then, Zhao Peng probably didn't love him very much.
So even if she did, she might not want to see him.
Qin Shuhuai closed his eyes, unable to hold on any longer, and squatted down, trembling.
He curled up in himself like a sixteen-year-old boy, his shoulders trembling, and he suppressed his cries and cried out loud.
Liu Shuyan held the wine in his hand and looked at him, watching this man gradually burst into tears from his suppressed sobs.
He sat down, pulled Qin Shuhuai to his shoulder, and patted his shoulder: "Okay, that's enough, drink. After drinking, start your own life again."
Having said that, Liu Shuyan handed the wine to Qin Shuhuai, who raised the glass and drank without caring about anything else.
Liu Shuyan gave Jiang Chun a look, and Jiang Chun quickly went to get the wine, bringing in jars of it. Liu Shuyan fed Qin Shuhuai one bowl at a time.
Qin Shuhuai didn't refuse and drank it in one gulp.
After drinking for a long time, Qin Shuhuai was drunk and Liu Shuyan was also a little dizzy. Qin Shuhuai held the wine jar and talked to Liu Shuyan about the past.
"I was about nine years old when I first met her. She was still in the cold palace at that time, and I had just arrived in Beiyan."
"Did the people of Beiyan bully you?"
"Of course I was bullied. As a hostage, everyone knows that you have nothing. So what if you are the crown prince? Nothing will belong to you in the future anyway, and it will not be easy to live. But no matter what, you have to put on a show. So I just followed the princes to attend classes and was bullied in private."
"The first time I saw her was in winter. She was wearing very thin clothes and looked extremely pitiful. At that time, she was still in the cold palace, but she was very brave and dared to sneak out of the cold palace and guard the pond."
“I was also standing guard by the pond.”
"What are you doing?" Liu Shuyan was a little sleepy, but he still asked with great concentration. Qin Shuhuai looked a little dazed, thinking back to the past, and slowly said, "I'm hungry, let's catch a fish to eat."
He wanted to catch fish, and Zhao Peng also wanted to catch fish.
That's how the two got to know each other. They worked together to catch a fish, and Zhao Peng invited him to the cold palace to drink fish soup.
That winter, he drank many bowls of fish soup, and the number of fish in the pond decreased. Eventually, someone discovered this and sent someone to investigate.
They were both very scared. In the midst of panic, Qin Shuhuai suddenly summoned up the courage to ask her, "Are you afraid of death?"
Zhao Peng blinked his eyes, and Qin Shuhuai stammered, "If you are not afraid of death, I will help you get out of the cold palace."
"How do you get there?"
"I will help you lead the emperor to the pond, and then you will deliberately let the emperor notice you catching fish. At that time, you'd better not show that you know the emperor. Just like an ordinary little girl, show your filial piety to the emperor."
"Although the emperor has many children, they all have ulterior motives. You suddenly encounter a pure heart. Perhaps this is your chance."
Qin Shuhuai said this, but he was still a little scared: "But, if the emperor doesn't like it, maybe you will die..."
After hearing this, Zhao Peng laughed.
She straightened her clothes, raised her head, and said calmly, "What's the harm in dying?"
Zhao Peng is not a smart man.
Looking back, Qin Shuhuai felt that when it came to conspiracy and scheming, Zhao Peng was not the best, but there were very few people who had her spirit and bravery, who were willing to do what they said they would do even at the cost of their lives.
In the dark Beiyan Palace, she was like a burning flame, burning him and warming him.
So he helped her and told the princes in the school that he saw the fairy catching fish in the lake. He described the scene in a mysterious way and secretly bribed many eunuchs to spread such rumors. The rumors finally alarmed the emperor, and the emperor decided to see the fairy with his own eyes.
Then he met Zhao Peng, who was lying on the ice in winter, wearing cold clothes and looking for carp.
The emperor disguised himself as a guard and approached Zhao Peng and asked her, "What are you doing?"
"My mother had a cold and my brother was weak. I was afraid they wouldn't survive the winter, so I stole fish for them."
"This is the emperor's fish. You stole it. Aren't you afraid that the emperor will blame you?"
"Stealing fish is a crime, but if you disregard human ethics and ignore your mother and brother when they are seriously ill, this is an even greater crime. Filial piety is the most important thing, and justice comes first. Besides," Zhao Peng smiled, "Father is kind and loving, how could he punish me for this?"
Because Zhao Peng's filial piety moved the emperor, Zhao Peng and Zhao Yu were qualified to study with other princes, and from then on, he could contact her every day.
When he was ten years old, he had read poetry and prose. At that time, Zhao Peng could not read and often made jokes in class. He despised her stupidity and hated her overly lively personality, but he would still throw her notes when she could not answer a question and grab her after class to give her a lecture.
He always thought that it was because of the kindness he showed her when he drank fish soup with her that year. But when he grew up and thought back on the fish they caught together, where was the kindness from?
It's just that young people are unwilling to admit their little thoughts and pretend to be heartless.
He talked to Liu Shuyan about Zhao Peng, and it seemed that everything had settled with his words. After he finished talking and crying, Liu Shuyan patted him on the shoulder, stood up and said, "Let it go, and move on."
Qin Shuhuai closed his eyes and said nothing.
Liu Shuyan looked at the time and said to Qin Shuhuai, "The princess gave you a letter, and I came to pick it up."
"In the study."
Qin Shuhuai was a little tired: "Jiang Chun will take you to get it."
Liu Shuyan nodded and followed Jiang Chun to the study.
Qin Shuhuai was lying on the ground, and the wind made him a little more awake.
He stared at the ceiling, and for the first time he felt that he really wanted to walk out of this relationship and end it.
Whether he likes it or not, this relationship is over.
Zhao Peng is dead and will never come back.
He got up feeling a little tired and went to his room, which was full of things from when Zhao Peng was alive. He randomly picked up a painting from the porcelain vases around, which was a picture of Zhao Peng.
He opened the painting and threw it into the charcoal fire.
The flames licked the girl in the painting, then turned into sparks and disappeared into smoke.
Qin Shuhuai felt a sharp pain in his heart, making it almost difficult for him to breathe, but he still put the paintings into the fire one by one with trembling hands.
His face was calm, his eyes were dead, and he stared at the face of the woman in the painting, refusing to look away.
He thought that he would probably never find another person in his life who would cherish him so much.
Because there will never be another person who can shine into his life like a ray of light during Qin Shuhuai's most difficult days.
"What are you doing here?"
"Catching fish."
"Then you catch the fish, I cook the food, and I'll treat you to fish soup, okay?"
Qin Shuhuai suppressed the mist in his eyes and watched the flames rise suddenly. At this moment, there was a knock on the door.
"My Lord."
It’s Zhao Yi.
"Speak."
Qin Shuhuai's voice was hoarse. He actually didn't want to hear anything and didn't want to be disturbed, but reason told him that no matter how painful or difficult it was, he had to move forward.
Zhao Yi pursed his lips, looked at Qin Shuhuai's expression, and finally said: "I think the princess may still be alive."
Qin Shuhuai's movements froze slightly, and hope rose in his heart.
But his hopes had been dashed too many times, so when hope arose, he immediately suppressed it and said coldly, "Evidence."
"After pretending to be Liu Shuyan and meeting the princess that day, I felt that the princess was very similar to my master back then."
"so what?"
Qin Shuhuai raised his head and looked at Zhao Yi.
It has been proven that Qin Peng is a resurrected person. He deduced that Qin Peng is Jiang Yi, so why did Zhao Yihui think that Qin Peng is Zhao Peng?
Qin Peng is Zhao Peng?
How is that possible?
If she was Zhao Peng, why did she pretend to be Jiang Yi? Why didn't she come and tell him, why didn't she come...
Thinking of this, Qin Shuhuai suddenly thought of a possibility. He stopped thinking abruptly and said immediately: "There are so many similar people in the world..."
"So I followed the princess for a day and a night, and stole the writing brush and ink from her room."
As he spoke, Zhao Yi placed a few pieces of paper in front of Qin Shuhuai.
There were Qin Peng's doodles and plays on it. When Qin Shuhuai saw the handwriting and the brush, his breathing suddenly quickened.
"This is the writing of the eldest princess when she was alone. This is the original. I copied a fake one and put it on the table, but it has been destroyed by the princess. The princess is very careful."
Qin Shuhuai didn't say anything, he just stared at her calligraphy and her paintings.
He taught her calligraphy and he taught her to paint while holding her hand.
If there is anyone in this world who is familiar with his handwriting and painting style, it must be Qin Shuhuai.
How can there be words that look so similar?
How could there be...
Qin Shuhuai trembled as he listened to Zhao Yi continue: "In fact, the eldest princess is very much like the master in her speech, behavior, and eating habits..."
Before he could finish his words, Qin Shuhuai rushed out.
"Prepare the horse! Prepare the horse for me!"
Qin Shuhuai drove the horse and chased Liu Shuyan all the way. Liu Shuyan was leaning in the carriage, reading the love poem Qin Peng wrote to "Liu Shuyan".
The love poem is written with lingering emotions and brilliant literary talent. Even Liu Shuyan, one of the leading talents of his time, could not help but admire it.
In fact, Qin Peng also knew that Liu Shuyan was a literary giant, so she wanted to show off her literary talent, but her literary talent was average. After thinking it over, she simply sent the love poem that Qin Shuhuai had written to her that year to him intact.
Liu Shuyan looked at the poem, and although he appreciated it, he always felt something was strange about it.
He was just about to pick up his pen to make some adjustments when the carriage was suddenly stopped. Before he could react, he saw Qin Shuhuai jump onto the carriage, roll up the curtain and lean over in front of him.
"Letter to me."
"What?"
Liu Shuyan was stunned for a moment, and Qin Shuhuai raised his voice and yelled, "Give me Qin Peng's letter!"
As he was speaking, Qin Shuhuai realized that Liu Shuyan was holding the letter, so he simply snatched it away!
He read the letter in the moonlight.
He is familiar with this poem, very familiar with it.
When she was seventeen, Qin Peng said she was dull and had never written a love poem for her.
He was only good at making strategic plans, not at these romantic matters. He spent a long time writing this poem, revising it many times, before finally placing it quietly under her pillow one morning.
This was the joy of his and Zhao Peng's love affair, and even Bai Zhi didn't know about it. He thought Zhao Peng was dead and he would never see him again in his life.
But he never imagined that one day he would see this poem carrying his childhood friendship in a letter from his wife to another man.
Qin Shuhuai laughed out loud and tore the paper to pieces.
Liu Shuyan reacted suddenly and rushed forward to fight for it: "Qin Shuhuai, are you crazy?!"
Qin Shuhuai threw the paper in his hand away, turned around, jumped on his horse, and rushed towards Wei Mansion.
Zhao Peng, Zhao Peng.
He closed his eyes and his hands shook.
He once thought that the moment Zhao Peng died was the most desperate moment in his life.
However, it is only now that I realize that this world is always more cruel than you imagined, and this reality is always more absurd than you thought.