Chapter 109 Epilogue: Why are you so heartless towards me?
“I have my own path to walk, and the Lantern Festival is no exception,” Yunxi replied without hesitation.
At that moment, she saw Xu Yuansi come into view.
His expression suddenly relaxed.
"Yunxi," Xu Yuansi had already woken up, but walked towards her with slightly unsteady steps. "It's good that you're alright, cough cough cough."
"I'm fine," Yunxi quickly reassured her. "Get into the carriage, I'll take you away from here."
The moment Xu Yuansi appeared, all her attention was drawn away.
This scene was too glaring, so glaring that Xiao Shenjing didn't want to look at it anymore.
The first thing Yunxi did upon entering the carriage was to throw away the Persian carpet.
Although Xiao Shenjing was poisoned, the poison would soon be neutralized.
To avoid causing further trouble, Yunxi used the rope that bound himself to tie his hands.
Xiao Shenjing did not struggle, nor could he beg for mercy.
He kept his eyes half-closed the entire time, his thick eyelashes obscuring his expression.
It makes it impossible to discern any emotion from anyone else.
However, a trace of frenzied red marks still remained around his eyes.
Yunxi saw Xu Yuansi sitting on the other side and coughed, covering her mouth.
She asked with some concern, "Are you alright? If it's serious, I'll go to the doctor."
Xu Yuansi suppressed a cough, smiled, and said, "It's just a cold. I've already taken the medicine I carry with me, it's nothing serious."
"Don't be stubborn." Yunxi frowned.
Xu Yuansi: "Have you forgotten that I'm a doctor?"
“A doctor cannot heal himself,” she said, leaning forward and raising her hand to touch his forehead.
Just then, Xiao Shenjing suddenly lifted his eyelashes, his eyes, still tinged with blood, were incredibly cold.
Yunxi noticed the intense gaze, but didn't care at all.
He touched his hand and found it was too cold. So he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Xu Yuansi's.
An intimate gesture.
It is about caring for and trusting each other.
Xu Yuansi glanced at Xiao Shenjing.
That casual glance wasn't a provocation, but Xiao Shenjing couldn't stand it.
"It does seem less hot than yesterday." Zhang Yunxi, unaware of the tense atmosphere between the two, felt relieved.
"I told you I was fine," Xu Yuansi said.
Yunxi smiled and said, "I understand, Doctor Xu."
As she turned to help the horse, she suddenly remembered something and said, "Next, I have to send you back to the Turks." As she said this, she finally glanced at Xiao Shenjing and found that he was also looking at her. "Only if he is alive can we travel without any obstacles."
Her words did not provide an explanation.
Xu Yuansi was stunned for a moment, but quickly understood and assured her, "Don't worry, I won't kill him."
Xiao Shenjing seemed not to hear, or perhaps he didn't care at all, his dark eyes silently fixed on Yun Xi.
All the intense emotions have been burned to ashes.
All that remained was pitch blackness that could devour everything.
Yunxi didn't look at him, but said to Xu Yuansi, "I believe you."
Four words, seemingly simple.
Yet it weighs as much as a thousand pounds.
That's the kind of trust that some people can't earn in their entire lives, no matter how hard they try.
The journey was bound to be fraught with peril, so to avoid any unforeseen complications, Yunxi gritted her teeth and braved the heavy snow to keep going.
They arrived in Tongzhou at dusk.
Yunxi was extremely anxious; as long as Xu Yuansi wasn't sent back, her heart would be in her throat.
Although she didn't say it, her anxiety and unease were evident in her desire to travel at night.
It wasn't until Xu Yuansi reached out from the carriage and grasped her hand that was holding the reins that the incident occurred.
"Yunxi, how about we stay in Tongzhou for the night?"
Yukikaze rushed into the carriage.
Xiao Shenjing opened his eyes.
From his angle, he could only see the two people's backs pressed together.
Yunxi pursed her lips and said, "But Tongzhou is too close to the capital."
"No, we still need to travel tonight."
"Yunxi!" Xu Yuansi gripped her hand tightly, looking at her cheeks reddened from the cold, and said in an unyielding tone, "Let me drive the carriage that night."
Now, Xiao Shenjing finally saw clearly that Yunxi's hand was being held by Xu Yuansi, and that the man's hand was even touching her cheek and eyelashes.
Yunxi didn't move, not even flinching.
What if it were him?
She would only push him away with a look of disgust and impatience.
In that instant, Xiao Shenjing's breathing suddenly became heavy, and his heart began to spasm uncontrollably.
Without a second thought, Yunxi immediately rejected Xu Yuansi's suggestion, "How can that be? You're still recovering from your cold, how can you drive a carriage?"
“Yunxi, me too,” Xu Yuansi said.
He didn't speak forcefully, nor did he refute Yunxi's words. He remained the same as before, the refined and cultured Doctor Xu.
But his expression clearly showed his determination to do what he said he would do.
Yunxi had no choice but to concede, "Alright, then we'll rest here tonight."
Yunxi found a secluded inn with few people.
Just as she settled down, the waiter delivered a letter with a message: "Please read this letter, considering that I have given you medicine twice before."
One knife.
She did indeed owe him two favors.
Yunxi didn't go inside; she opened the letter in the hallway.
After reading it, she was stunned for a few moments.
He burned the letter after returning home.
They had to stay by Xiao Shenjing's side; neither of them could sleep at the same time.
It is safest to take turns on duty and for the three people to stay together.
Xu Yuansi easily noticed that Yunxi's expression was somewhat unusual and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing." Yun Xi glanced at Xiao Shenjing.
They found him lying on the bed, his back to the door, leaving only his silhouette.
The man didn't utter a single extra word all day.
An unusual combination of factors.
To be honest, this relieved Yunxi. If Xiao Shenjing insisted on going against her, she would have to give him medicine, but that would make it difficult to travel.
The second half of the night was the hardest to endure, and Xu Yuansi refused to let Yunxi stay up no matter what.
So he went to sleep first in the first half of the night.
Yunxi sat on the kang (a heated brick bed), wiping the dagger she always carried with her.
The flickering candlelight cast a long shadow of her.
Having lost the vibrancy and brightness of the day, she now seemed to have been tinged with the blackness of the night.
All courage has turned into a jagged shape.
This was a look that Xiao Shenjing had never seen before.
Xiao Shenjing asked, "If I agree to send him back to the Turks, will you come back to the capital with me?"
Yunxi suddenly looked up at him.
Xiao Shenjing didn't know how long he had been awake; there wasn't a trace of sleepiness in his phoenix eyes.
His dark, deep eyes seemed capable of devouring everything.
Yunxi didn't speak, and continued to wipe the dagger with her head down.
"You don't trust me?"
"Why should I believe you?" Yunxi finally asked.
She asked the question as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
This was so natural that it silenced Xiao Shenjing for a few moments.
Only after suppressing the bitterness in his heart did he slowly ask, "What would it take for you to believe me?"
"Unless I see him return to the Turks with my own eyes."
She could not bear to hear the news of his death.
Xiao Shenjing pursed his lips, turned around, and stopped talking.
Tongzhou is located near the capital, and although it was not explicitly stated, Yunxi was constantly on edge.
She finally breathed a sigh of relief after leaving the capital without any obstacles.
The snow had lessened considerably when they left the capital, and Yunxi naturally wanted to ride a horse to get to Huailai as quickly as possible.
However, it was absolutely impossible for Xiao Shenjing to ride a horse alone.
When Xu Yuansi offered to ride a horse with Xiao Shenjing, the latter simply said coldly, "I don't mind falling off."
A blatant threat.
There was no other way, so Yunxi had to take Xiao Shenjing with her.
Upon hearing that he would be sitting in Yunxi's arms, the man raised an eyebrow and, without the slightest hesitation, braced himself with his long legs and mounted the horse first.
“Yunxi”
However, Xiao Shenjing was too tall and was wearing a cloak, which easily blocked Yunxi's view.
So along the way, despite her great patience, Yunxi still had to remind Xiao Shenjing repeatedly, "Til your head."
"Xiao Shenjing, you're blocking my way."
Yunxi felt that this person was doing it on purpose.
So she lowered her voice and said, "How about I tie you up and put you on the horse's back?"
This made Xiao Shenjing reluctantly turn his head to one side.
After leaving the capital, they arrived in Xuanhua on the third day.
Xuanhua is only 300 kilometers from Datong. Once you get to Datong, you can quickly reach Yinshan. However, the route from Xuanhua to Datong passes through Zhangjiakou.
Relying on Xiao Shenjing's token as the supervisory commander, they traveled straight along the official road without any hindrance.
However, once you leave Zhangjiakou through the Dajingmen gate, you're considered to have left the border region. The stretch from Kulun to Yefuling is filled with canyons and dense forests, historically described as "ten miles of ambush, bandits like locusts."
This road not only attracted bandits but also salt gangs.
However, if one were to bypass the main road through Zhangjiakou, it would add at least half the distance to the journey. Moreover, traveling alone through Shahu Pass would be impossible; a group of a hundred people would be necessary for safety.
She and Xiao Bei even hired a camel caravan to pass through safely.
Yunxi plans to do the same this time.
When she was deep in thought, she frowned and unconsciously covered her stomach with her arm.
Xu Yuansi draped a blanket over her, added some charcoal to the brazier, and then went outside.
“Even with camel caravans, Zhangjiakou is not entirely safe,” Xiao Shenjing, who was sitting at the table drinking tea, suddenly said.
Yunxi frowned even more deeply after her thoughts were guessed.
She glanced at him with some impatience.
"You might as well contact Dao Yi and order the garrison to clear and escort them."
Yunxi remained silent for a moment, then said, "Xiao Shenjing, don't think I don't know what you're up to."
Xiao Shenjing slammed down his teacup. "Why do you always assume the worst about me?"
A sharp pain shot through her lower abdomen, and Yunxi frowned, growing even more impatient. "How long do I have to wait for the garrison to clean it up?"
Once things stop, things will change.
She didn't dare at all.
She anxiously calculated the time and distance every day, her only hope being to reach Yinshan as soon as possible, as fast as possible.
Moreover, at least Dao Yi and the others don't know her specific itinerary, and even if they did, they wouldn't be sure which path she would take, so she has a better chance of success.
Xiao Shenjing gripped his teacup. "What will it take for you to believe that I agree to send Xu Yuansi away?"
"Why?"
"Why, don't you know?" Xiao Shenjing looked at her slowly, his eyes filled with intense self-mockery. "In front of you, I have acted like a tyrant more than once."
That day, his anger was too intense, and jealousy made him lose all reason.
Looking back now, what was there that he couldn't give up compared to losing her?
She wanted to protect Xu Yuansi.
Can.
He could find other ways.
But the condition is that she doesn't push him away again.
"Xiao Shenjing, we can never be together." But this time, Yun Xi didn't even bother with pretense or perfunctory words.
It was so resolute that it evoked despair.
Xiao Shenjing pursed his lips, and even though he tried his best to restrain himself, a hint of panic still showed in the corner of his eyes.
He simply turned his head away abruptly.
The wind was howling fiercely through the window.
Looking at the flickering candlelight, Yunxi took advantage of the long-lost peace between the two and revealed her plans.
"If I survive this trip, and Yuanxiao doesn't like staying in the palace, I will take him with me."
"No!" Xiao Shenjing suddenly turned around.
That was the only bond that connected him and her.
"I'm just informing you so you can prepare yourself." Yunxi clutched her stomach, calmly delivering a death sentence to him.
In that instant, Xiao Shenjing's internal organs felt like they were being kneaded together.
He even had to hunch over slightly to breathe in order to make himself look less disheveled.
No matter how much pain and suffering he felt, he still couldn't help but want to ask her, "Yunxi, why are you so heartless towards me?"
She was silent for a few moments, then said, "Just like you won't let me go."
But it's because I love you.
“So what? I don’t love you,” Yunxi said.
With that one sentence, Xiao Shenjing swallowed all his words.
He opened his mouth as if to say something, but couldn't utter a single word.
She said she didn't love him.
What should he do?
No, no
They were all fine just a while ago.
She was just angry, angry because of Fan Zishi's death.
He will find a way to solve it.
It definitely will.
At this moment, Xu Yuansi pushed open the door and walked in.
He held a water bag in one hand and a celadon bowl in the other.
He seemed completely oblivious to the strange atmosphere.
He went straight to Yunxi's side.
"Yunxi, I just changed the hot water in this. Hold it to keep warm." He tucked the water bag into her arms and then handed her the bowl. "Drink this soup while it's hot."
"Angelica and Ligusticum Siwu Decoction?" Yunxi wrinkled her nose.
Seeing her little expression, Xu Yuansi couldn't help but chuckle and said, "This inn can't find brown sugar."
"Why would I want to drink this?" Yunxi said with disdain.
Xu Yuansi reminded him, "If you don't drink it, you'll feel unwell at night."
"Why is that?" Yunxi asked suddenly after finishing her sentence. "Is today the sixteenth?"
"Um."
The time when her period was coming.
Looking at the water pouch and the Four-Substance Decoction in her hand, Yunxi couldn't help but ask, "After all these years, you still remember?"
Xiao Shenjing didn't understand what they were talking about.
Judging from Yunxi's eyes and brows, she was clearly in a much better mood than when she was talking to him earlier.
My heart ached for a moment.
Just as he was about to look away, he heard Xu Yuansi say, "You suffer terribly from pain every month around this time. I finally managed to get it a little better, but now it's back to normal. Have you not taken good care of yourself all these years?"
In that instant, staring at Yun Xi's unusually pale face, Xiao Shenjing finally understood.
Is she having her period?
But he never knew.
I've never paid attention to such trivial matters.
He always seemed to think of her as eccentric, rebellious, strong, and resolute.
She's not some delicate young lady; she's daring to do anything, even if the sky were to fall, she'd still try to create a hole.
But no matter how carefree and strong she is, she is still a girl.
There are times when I feel unwell and need someone to take care of me.
But during all these times, when was he ever by her side?
Even just once?
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