Chapter 19: Key Chen Song vomited all over the toilet...
Chen Song vomited in the restroom until he was completely exhausted. His heart was in a state of panic, and the pain, like a thousand ants gnawing at him, frightened him. He didn't return to the compartment, but packed his things and returned to the bus to wait.
Chen Song hadn't slept well in days, and now, for the first time in his life, he couldn't resist the urge to sleep. Perhaps he was too tired, or too cold everywhere. Before going to bed, he used his phone to send a message to Ye Jiajia, saying that he was not feeling well and was waiting for them in the car.
Ye Jiajia replied quickly: "Then you should have a good rest. Can you come for the group photo later? It'll just be a quick one."
Ye Jiajia then sent a voice message: "We're going to shoot at the end, you take a break first, you still have to come later. You are the protagonist."
Chen Song replied: OK, I'll take a nap, call me when you're ready
Ye Jiajia: OK
Chen Song slept in a daze, dreaming that he was skiing and fell off a cliff for no apparent reason. When he woke up, Ye Jiajia called.
Chen Song was still in shock, with a layer of cold sweat on his body. He took deep breaths with a dry throat. The dusk light fell on half of his eye, which was a bit dazzling. He blinked before he could see the surrounding scene clearly.
The interior of the bus was clearly divided into light and dark by the dusk light, and the white snow outside the window looked like it was drowning in a sea of oranges.
The ringing of the cell phone gradually became clearer and clearer as it passed through Chen Song's eardrums. In a trance, he recalled the countless times Gu Mo had appeared at his doorstep. He didn't come back to his senses until the ringing stopped.
I picked up my phone and saw only calls and messages from Ye Jiajia.
Chen Song replied: I’m here.
Chen Song wiped his sweat, packed up, and set off. The cold wind that hit him as he stepped out of the car made him shiver. Chen Song was shivering to the bone; the mountain wind nearing dusk was too fierce and too cold.
When Chen Song arrived, there were still many people in the snow, and the most lively group was his troops.
The troops were already lined up neatly, and everything was ready except Chen Song. There was an empty seat in the middle for him, and everyone waved to him: "Here, Chen Song!"
Chen Song's depressed mood eased a little, perhaps because he had made up for the sleep he hadn't had in a long time, perhaps because of the wind, or perhaps because so many people were waiting for him.
Chen Song's face rarely cracked a smile, a light one. He quickly walked to the empty seat, and several hands clasped around his shoulders. He looked at the camera that had already been set up.
After pressing the shutter, the Minister of Propaganda quickly returned to the team and counted down with everyone: "10.9.8.7..."
After a few group photos, Chen Song was pulled over to take a few more. The president was unusually gentle, and everyone rushed forward to take photos.
In the snow, Chen Song wore a white turtleneck sweater and a gray coat. His skin was whiter than snow, and a few wisps of hair were slightly damp, revealing his smooth forehead. His face was cold and dull, rarely smiling. The dusk shone its warmth over him, making him look incredibly elegant and handsome, a sight that made it impossible to look away.
"You're so fascinated by it, do you want to go up and take a photo?"
A voice suddenly rang out from the floor-to-ceiling window on the second floor of the restaurant, instantly making Gu Xingjue's face even gloomier.
Gu Xingjue turned around and ignored Xie Yanchen's teasing, walked back to the dining table and sat down, folding his hands on the table.
"This guy looks pretty when he smiles. No wonder he's been so young for three years." Xie Yanchen stood in front of the window and continued to look at Chen Song in the snow.
Gu Xingjue toyed with his wine glass with a lack of interest and snorted coldly: "Laughing is uglier than crying."
"Who is it?" Cheng Song had just entered the box.
Xie Yanchen turned around and looked at him with raised eyebrows, then walked over to sit next to Gu Xingjue: "He's talking about you."
Cheng Song had a hint of embarrassment on his face. He walked over to sit next to Gu Xingjue and said, "Really? I don't believe it."
Xie Yanchen laughed: "Really? Isn't that Chen Song?"
Cheng Song's hand, which was fiddling with the cutlery, froze, and his expression lost its brightness for a moment. He glanced at Gu Xingjue and then regained his composure. He continued fiddling with the cutlery while looking at the person in the snow outside the window.
"Really?" Cheng Song said with some disdain, "I look good both when I laugh and when I cry. Right, Ajue?"
Gu Xingjue remained noncommittal. His expression was cold and unapproachable, but the way he casually swirled his wine glass was both focused and charming. His lazy expression seemed lost in some memories...
——
The first team-building activity of the Student Union was successfully concluded. After taking photos, everyone packed up their things and got on the bus one after another.
After a day of exercise, everyone was exhausted. Ye Jiajia looked at the dejected crowd, hunched over and said weakly, "How about we move the farewell dinner to a later time? How about the usual time, family members? Raise your hands if you agree."
The tired crowd suddenly found some energy and raised their hands in unison, unanimously passing this humane proposal.
As the bus circled the mountain, a few quiet snores could be heard from the silent interior. Chen Song was the only one awake.
Chen Song sat alone in the last row. He leaned his head against the window, his gaze fixed on the scorching orange sunset as the quiet twilight slowly spread. His restless heart felt like an invisible hand had pulled it up to his throat, squeezing it tightly. The familiar, yet terrifying, feeling of suffocation washed over him once again.
It was like a bone-chilling glacier running through his whole body, and Chen Song's heart and limbs were trembling.
He hated the feeling of being trapped in unease, but his emotions were out of control, reality was unavoidable, and the taut thread of his sanity was about to break. Good memories kept coming to his mind, how wonderful they were in the past, how painful they were now.
Such a beautiful sunset reminded Chen Song of the time when Gu Mo took him on a bike ride around the mountains to watch the sunrise.
Why did the tears suddenly slide down from the corners of my eyes? The twilight before my eyes was so blurry, and it was shrouded in a gray and black abyss.
The image that lingered in my mind was of Gu Xingjue being ambiguous with someone else.
The near-collapse continued until the bus arrived at the station, where Chen Song suppressed all the emotions that flooded his mind. Everyone was exhausted from the journey, and upon reaching the station, they retreated feebly.
Chen Song sat in the last row and got off the bus only after everyone had left.
Ye Jiajia, the person in charge, was waiting at the door, with Wang Yu'an standing beside her, helping her with her luggage.
Seeing Chen Song's red and swollen eyes, Ye Jiajia rubbed her own eyes unconsciously, a little incredulous: "It's not that serious, President, are you moved to tears?"
Chen Song's steps trembled when he got out of the car and he almost sprained his ankle. He lowered his eyes and didn't look at Ye Jiajia, forcing a smile.
Ye Jiajia patted his shoulder and said, "Didn't I tell you it was fun? You should join us for team building more often in the future, even though there's no future. You must also come to the Christmas Eve dinner. After dinner, we'll go karaoke and drink. It's all old stuff."
Chen Song nodded and agreed.
Ye Jiajia smiled with some relief: "I didn't expect our president to be such a sentimental person. Okay, okay, go back and rest. We'll be leaving first. See you later."
The winter night wind was biting. Chen Song stood in the cold wind and watched Ye Jiajia and Wang Yuan'an's backs as they left, his eyes red with envy.
Chen Song returned to his dorm and, as soon as he opened the door, was choked by the pungent smell of cigarette smoke, which made him cough. The mist-filled dormitory was filled with the sounds of people playing games and his roommates arguing with each other.
Chen Song walked past him, returned to his desk, unloaded his backpack, and pulled out a black card and a key from a drawer. He gripped the card and key tightly, his plump fingertips weaving into the gears, twisting and turning pale, bloodless.
As if he had made a great decision, Chen Song put his keys and black card into the inside pocket of his clothes, zipped up his clothes, and left the dormitory.
Chen Song scanned the shared bicycle and drove back to the familiar community. It was neither new nor old, neither big nor small, and the people living there were all ordinary people.
This is the house where Chen Song and Gu Mo lived for three years. To be precise, Chen Song lived there for three years, and the number of days that Gu Mo came back was barely three months in total.
Chen Song opened the door and walked in. A dry and cold air hit him in the face, and there was a familiar woody scent in the dark house.
The smell always brings back a lot of memories when we least expect it.
Chen Song turned on the light and looked around the house, feeling a surge of indescribable emotions. He took a few deep breaths, walked into the bedroom, and packed all the clothes in the closet into a suitcase. He then packed out everything else in the house that he could take away.
Chen Song opened the bedside table, and inside lay a precious black velvet box, a red rope bracelet that had been woven long ago but not yet prayed for, and a diary.
Chen Song picked up the black velvet box and opened it. The gleaming silver wedding rings burned his eyes. Chen Song stared at them for a long time, until his eyes were sore. Then he raised his head, closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply.
Three years of heart-wrenching love has been integrated into my bones and blood. How can I just let it go?
A shameful thought popped up in Chen Song's mind. Once this thought came into his mind, there was no turning back. His heart was beating heavily and powerfully, hitting his chest again and again.
Chen Song picked up a ring and looked at the words engraved on the inner ring, thinking that as long as Gu Xingjue came back to explain, he would pretend not to know even if he was lying to him.
Chen Song took out his cell phone, his fingertips hovered over the dial button of "Mo", hesitated, and finally pressed it.
The phone rang several times, but Chen Song couldn't hear it. His heartbeat was louder than the ringtone.
Gu Xingjue answered the phone unexpectedly, but didn't say anything.
Chen Song's heartbeat was stuck in his throat, making him unable to speak.
In silence, the other party spoke first, his voice low and without any tone: "You had a lot of fun today, why are you still thinking of me?"
Chen Song swallowed his heartbeat and tightened his grip on the phone: "You're having fun playing with others too."
"Hmm?" A lazy voice sounded from the other party, sounding in a good mood. "So?"
Chen Song bit his lip and then let go: "I'm home, come over. I'll return the key to you."
Silence fell on the other side, with only a few unclear, heavy, disordered breathing sounds to be heard. In the stalemate, Chen Song wanted to say something to persuade him to stay, which was also the purpose of his call.
But when he heard Gu Xingjue's arrogant and frivolous voice again, Chen Song's courage was instantly shattered by his deep pride. He opened his mouth, and his lips trembled slightly.
Broken courage is still playing against self-esteem, and the two emotions are fighting each other.
Chen Song was a little flustered. The longer the silence lasted, the more uneasy and fearful he felt. It seemed as if if he didn't speak up, their relationship would be irreparable.
Courage finally prevailed. Just as Chen Song was about to speak, the other party spoke first: "Just leave it at home. I'll contact someone to sell it."
Gu Xingjue's voice was extremely cold. It was a third emotion that penetrated into Chen Song's flesh and blood, brutally and inhumanely killing all courage and dignity.
Gu Xingjue hung up the phone. The mechanical sound of hanging up was a carnival for the winner of the battle and a wail for the loser.
Chen Songqingjun's face twitched, a twisted expression forming as he shed a stream of bitter, hot tears. The glistening teardrops shattered on the ring, the remaining water stains reflecting a dazzling brilliance under the incandescent light.
So dazzling, so glaring.
Chen Song didn't want to cry out loud, and the fragmented sobs were forced back into his throat. His shoulders trembled slightly, and his fingertips tightly grasped the ring, almost wanting to carve the shining and beautiful ring into his bones and blood.
Tears blurred my vision, only the vague and dazzling light remained.
Gu Xingjue said he wanted to sell the house, and the pain this brought to Chen Song was far greater than if Gu Xingjue didn't come tonight, and far greater than if Gu Xingjue kissed someone else.
Why, why was the house sold so easily? Why was he able to withdraw so easily?
Is it just because he has lived in this house for less than three years? Is it just like the energy he has put into this relationship will never be as much as the tip of the iceberg?
Chen Song raised his hand to wipe away his tears, put the ring back into the black velvet box, put the black velvet box back into the drawer, closed the drawer, put the key and black card on the dining table, stood up and left with his suitcase.
She no longer wanted the wedding rings, the red string, the diary, the keys, the house, anything related to Gu Xingjue.
This was Chen Song’s first time falling in love, and the feeling of heartbreak was heartbreaking.
His studies were still busy every day, but the memories of the past haunted him like the vengeful spirits of those brutally murdered by Chen Song, clamoring and grumbling. They were like poisonous dust that penetrated his body and attacked his cells, causing him to bleed profusely in pain, yet he couldn't break free.
Every late night, his longing for her would surge like a spring. Whenever Chen Song's fingertips lingered on the word "Mo" on the screen of his mobile phone, two conflicting emotions would fight fiercely in his body. The overloaded mental struggle almost crushed his body.
He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, had difficulty breathing, and couldn't concentrate on anything other than the execution plan. Experiments went wrong, reports went wrong, student union activities went wrong, everything was a mess.
Chen Song is like a dead tree.
Just one phone call and hearing Gu Xingjue's voice can bring him back to life.
Gu Xingjue is his source of support. If this call goes through, Chen Song might be able to lower his bottom line again to keep him.
But dignity prevailed, and even though he was in excruciating pain, Chen Song still didn't make the call.
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