Chapter 21 I Can’t Forget You The second floor of the restaurant is only...
There were only a handful of people on the second floor of the restaurant, and the stalls were closing one after another. The only people walking around were the cafeteria aunties, clearing away dishes and plates.
Chen Song was unable to react to Yun Jingsheng's words for a long time, and his brain suddenly crashed like a super-core program.
Chen Song wasn't a slow-witted person; he'd already sensed Yun Jingsheng's interest in him some time ago. Yun Jingsheng had also proactively expressed his feelings, but Chen Song had rejected them. At the time, he truly wasn't ready to accept a new relationship so quickly.
After that, the relationship between the two remained the same as before, with no further development. Chen Song deliberately avoided suspicion, and Yun Jingsheng did not deliberately get close to him.
After experiencing the blows from Gu Xingjue these days, Chen Song wanted to let him go, so he agreed to have dinner with Yun Jingsheng tonight. Chen Song wanted to try to make contact. But Yun Jingsheng said this unexpectedly. Was it a confession...?
Such a frank and firm commitment was something Gu Xingjue had never done before.
Chen Song felt a mixture of emotions. He was moved that someone could make such a promise to him, choosing him even after he had rejected them. He was also a little uneasy. Yun Jingsheng and he were not from the same world, so how could this possibly work out?
It was the same situation again. Everything made Chen Song think of Gu Xingjue.
Although he has been trying to get in touch with new environments, new activities, new people, and new relationships, he still can't forget Gu Xingjue.
I can't forget you...what should I do?
Chen Song was silent for a long time, his delicate brows were twisted into a knot, his hands tightly gripped the wooden chopsticks, his expression was conflicted, painful, and helpless.
Yun Jingsheng didn't say anything either, just waited quietly for him to think.
"Are you guys still going to eat?" The cafeteria auntie who was passing by broke the heavy atmosphere. "The restaurant is about to close, kids."
Yun Jingsheng pushed the bowl forward and said, "Okay, Auntie, we got it. We'll take it over later."
The aunt took Yun Jingsheng's bowl and said, "Okay, hurry up, or you'll get locked in the restaurant. A couple of kids got locked in there a few days ago."
Yun Jingsheng smiled and responded, "I know, Auntie."
After the cafeteria auntie left, Yun Jingsheng said to Chen Song, "No matter how much you can't eat, try to eat something for the sake of your health. We can talk about other things after you finish eating."
Chen Song silently picked up his chopsticks again and ate the cold food with difficulty. After eating about one-third of it, he could not eat any more and left.
Chen Song began to realize that something was wrong with his body. And wasting food like this wasn't a good idea either.
After the two finished their meal, Yun Jingsheng sent him back to the dormitory.
On the way, Yun Jingsheng didn't talk about what happened just now, but talked about internship.
"Your semester will probably end in early January next year. The internship will officially start on March 1st. That means you still have about two months to rest. I will send you the internship application form next week. Just fill it out and give it to me." Yun Jingsheng and Chen Song walked side by side, with a short distance between them.
"Are you going home for the New Year this year, or are you staying in Beijing?"
The chilly wind nearing eleven o'clock cut into Chen Song's skin, freezing the skin exposed outside his clothes to an extremely cold temperature. He was actually very sensitive to cold.
Chen Song hugged the book tightly and put his hands into his clothes: "No."
His words were always clear and cold, just like him, there was no warmth in his voice, and there was always a hint of gloom.
Chen Song no longer has a home; it's gone everywhere.
The home in Wen City, South City, was gone a week before he turned eighteen, and the home in Jing City, North City, was also gone after he broke up with Gu Xingjue completely.
He turned back into the child abandoned by the world.
Yun Jingsheng said, "Then you will stay here."
Chen Song: "Well, stay here to work."
"What about you?" Chen Song asked him, "Are you going back to Lin City after submitting the forms next week?"
Yun Jingsheng smiled, and warm white mist dissipated from his mouth: "Are you reluctant to leave me?"
Chen Song blinked lightly and stopped where he was.
Yun Jingsheng continued walking forward. When he noticed Chen Song falling behind, he stopped and turned around to look.
The asphalt road, illuminated by the dim streetlights, looked bleak. Chen Song's hair was blown by the wind, and a pair of gray eyes, filled with deep emotion, looked at him. The streetlights cast a bright white on his skin, casting a very long shadow.
"Brother Jingsheng," Chen Song's lips moved slightly, "We are not from the same world. I'm sorry, I..."
Yun Jingsheng's expression remained unchanged, his features softening slightly. Beneath his light amber eyes lay a bitter and helpless emotion. He said, "Chen Song, I'm actually an orphan. I grew up in an orphanage."
Chen Song slowly widened his eyes in astonishment and looked at Yun Jingsheng in disbelief.
Yun Jingsheng, dressed in a woolen coat, exuded the elegance and dignity of a man of the upper class. If it weren't for the dejection in his eyes, Chen Song would have found it hard to believe what he said.
This suddenly reminded Chen Song that he had searched for information about Yun Jingsheng on the Internet but found nothing.
This made some sense. Besides, Yun Jingsheng couldn't possibly lie to him.
Yun Jingsheng continued, "I was adopted by the Yun family. What I say is not what I mean, and what I do is not what I choose to do. My identity is only nominal; in essence, I am still that orphan."
"Do you still think we are from different worlds?" Yun Jingsheng asked solemnly, then smiled softly, "It's possible, because you have a family, and I'm just..."
Chen Song immediately spoke up to stop Yun Jingsheng's self-deprecating words: "No, I didn't mean that."
Chen Song sighed deeply, lowered his eyes for a long moment, and then said, "Brother Jingsheng, I don't want to delay you. Perhaps the best way to let go of a relationship is to start a new one. But I still can't do it. I'm not with you yet...in my heart. This is unfair to you. I will also feel guilty."
"Feel sorry......"
Yun Jingsheng was silent for a moment and then said, "You don't have to apologize to me. I was too anxious. It's okay. I will always be here. I'll wait for you to make room for me in your heart."
Chen Song didn't know what to say. He was not sure about the future and couldn't make a promise easily.
Yun Jingsheng smiled and turned around and continued walking forward: "Let's go. It's cold at night. Go back and rest quickly."
After the two arrived downstairs of the dormitory, they said a simple goodbye and Yun Jingsheng left.
There was no elevator in the dormitory building. Chen Song climbed to the seventh floor and did not return to the dormitory. Instead, he walked to the window at the end of the corridor and stood there for a long time.
Make a phone call, one last time.
This is the last chance.
Chen Song's heart couldn't help but panic. His stiff fingertips paused on the phone screen for a long, long time, so long that the power in the dormitory went out and all the lights in the corridor went out. In the pitch black environment, only the faint light of the phone screen was lit.
The bright moonlight outside the window cast a thin glow. A chill wind blew continuously, yet Chen Song's blood was boiling.
Finally, he dialed the number and listened nervously to the ringing of the phone with his ear close to his ear.
Countless nights of Gu Mo appearing at the door flashed before his eyes.
Chen Song's heart began to beat violently, like a burning fire burning from his stomach all the way to his throat. That was the proof he had been waiting for.
At the end of the phone ringing was a mechanical female voice, announcing the shattered expectations.
Chen Song took a deep breath and made another call.
Still no answer.
The third call, still no answer.
Fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh... the only voice that responded to him was always that mechanical one.
Chen Song didn't know why he did this. He felt like he was mentally failing, which was why he kept calling like crazy. It was as if the emotions he had been suppressing all week and hadn't called him had finally erupted.
"Hey! Which dormitory are you from? Why are you still staying outside?" The voice of the dormitory manager was heard in the corridor.
This stopped Chen Song from making frantic phone calls.
Chen Song knew he would have trouble falling asleep tonight, so he took a sleeping pill. He had been doing this all week. He could fall asleep after taking the sleeping pill, but the quality of his sleep was poor. Chen Song had countless dreams, and in every dream he met Gu Xingjue.
And in the dream, Gu Xingjue was always doing things that hurt him.
Chen Song woke up the next day to a phone call.
Chen Song suddenly woke up with his heart pounding. He was stunned for a long time when he saw the caller ID, but finally picked up the phone without saying a word.
The other party didn't say anything.
After a long silence, Chen Song sighed and spoke first: "Is there something wrong?" His voice was extremely hoarse.
Gu Xingjue replied coldly, "I should be the one asking you this."
Chen Song rubbed his temples and cleared his throat: "Nothing else, I'm hanging up."
Gu Xingjue sneered, his tone somewhat mocking: "Chen Song, if only your mouth were half as hard as your heart."
Chen Song frowned. His mocking words always made Chen Song lose all his dignity. "Last night, I called the wrong number. Sorry."
Gu Xingjue laughed and said unconcernedly: "I've never seen anyone hit seventeen times in a row without making a mistake."
Chen Song closed his eyes, confused as to why Gu Xingjue always acted so superior. Was it simply because he liked him? Chen Song slept uncomfortably, instantly regretting his impulsive behavior last night. His efforts to forget had been in vain.
Gu Xingjue answered the phone, and then, even after they reconciled, they repeated the same mistakes over and over again.
Chen Song wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "I was drunk and disturbed you. It's my fault."
"Drinking? You even learned to drink? Who did you go drinking with?" Gu Xingjue's voice became low, "You're so good, after leaving me you went out skiing and drinking, you're so cool..."
Chen Song hung up the phone. He took a deep breath, sat up, and checked his phone. It was only a little after six in the morning.
He has a headache now and his mind is a little confused.
If he could get through on the phone, Chen Song would want to muster up the courage to try to keep her one last time.
But when the call came this morning, he was speechless.
Why? Was it because he had missed the best opportunity? Or was it because Gu Xingjue's words were always sharp and sarcastic, and the memories he brought back were so painful.
Chen Song looked at the screen of his mobile phone quietly. A long time passed, so long that his eyes were sore, and Gu Xingjue did not call him again.
On the mobile phone screen, the number of calls displayed in the latest column is in sharp contrast to the number of calls made in the second column.
Chen Song wanted to keep him, but Gu Xingjue kept moving forward.
Chen Song turned off his phone and got up to go to the library. He knew he couldn't sleep.
I can only numb myself by studying, studying, and studying again.
Today is Monday. Chen Song studied in the library for an hour before going to class.
Today's classes were still full, but Chen Song didn't feel tired, but rather fulfilled. All the classes were drawing to a close, and the teachers were discussing the final exams and assignments.
Despite his busy schedule, Chen Song also had to find time to take care of important matters such as the student union election. It was rare that he was so busy that he didn't think about Gu Xingjue so often.
On Thursday, the student union had just completed its first general election. Afterward, Ye Jiajia came to him and said, "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. There's a dinner party. You have to come."
Her tone brooked no refusal.
Chen Song said: "Okay."
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