Chapter 73: The piglet and the rabbit seem to be in a bad mood...
Emotions were like a broken valve, water pouring out like an unstoppable torrent. The more he tried to block the outlet, the stronger the pressure grew. The emotions, suppressed and then rebounding, became a blockage in his chest. Chen Song sobbed, wiping away tears, helplessly covering his shattered face.
"I, I don't know what's wrong... I don't want to be like this..."
Gu Xingjue had just finished a skin transplant a few days ago and lay sprawled on the bed, his heart aching as Chen Song cried. The wound on his back was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. He forced himself to sit up and pulled the man into his arms, wiping his tears while gently patting his back.
"What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this? You are good no matter how you are. When you are happy, I will laugh with you. When you are sad, I will wipe your tears."
Gu Xingjue's calloused fingertips gently wiped the tear marks, which tickled Chen Song's face. Chen Song tried to break free from his embrace: "Your injury..."
Gu Xingjue pulled him back and stroked Chen Song's back again and again: "It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt when you're by my side. If you want to cry, I'll lend you my shoulder. Sometimes you can be less stubborn and rely on me a little, okay? It was my fault before, I didn't consider your feelings."
Chen Song leaned on Gu Xingjue's chest, listening to the sonorous heartbeat inside, and the water in his eyes moved slightly.
He had come to see Gu Xingjue these days, every day, but always late at night. He would stand outside the door, take a short peek at the sleeping man from afar, and then leave. He didn't know how to face Gu Xingjue like this, and even less how to face his own slowly moving heart.
He had no intention of reconciling with Gu Xingjue. If he got any closer, it would not be good for Gu Xingjue or for himself.
He couldn't handle it, couldn't handle it well, and he always made a mess of his emotional affairs. He was confused like an ignorant child, with darkness ahead and a stone tripping him. He didn't know whether to lie still or get up and keep moving forward.
The repressed emotions grew with time, until Gu Xingjue had a high fever after the skin transplant surgery and was sent to the emergency room again, and then he broke down emotionally.
Gu Xingjue's worsening condition had less to do with the weather and more to do with his depressed mood. Chen Song felt that his own decision had led to this outcome. If he had kept his promise and come to see him in person every day, this wouldn't have happened.
"Gu Xingjue, I'm not a liar," Chen Songxing said, trying to save the situation with a runny nose. "I came to see you, every day."
Gu Xingjue took a tissue and wiped his nose: "I know you're here. You came to see me secretly, right? Why don't you come and see me openly? I'm showing it to you. Come in and sit with me for a while."
"I... don't know what to do here. Your injuries won't heal no matter what you do."
Gu Xingjue said patiently and gently, "Actually, I'd be happy if you just sat here for a while. You can have dinner with me. If you're bored, you can tell me a story."
"I can't tell stories." Chen Song said woodenly.
"How about I tell you a bedtime story?" Gu Xingjue pulled him onto the bed, propped up his head and laid on his side before covering him with the quilt. He gently patted the quilt on his chest, "You must have not had a good rest for a long time. You should go to sleep after listening to my bedtime story."
"Okay, huh?" Gu Xingjue coaxed him softly.
Chen Song looked up at him for a while. Gu Xingjue was thinner than before, much thinner, and his facial features were more three-dimensional and handsome. He looked haggard and weak as if he was sick, but his deep gaze still revealed a bright and fiery fire.
Chen Song withdrew his gaze and half-closed his eyes, his eyes wandering somewhere unknown, tacitly agreeing with Gu Xingjue.
"Then I'll start talking. Please listen carefully, little baby Chen Song."
Chen Song frowned slightly and looked at Gu Xingjue, who smiled.
"Once upon a time, there lived a little pig and a little rabbit. They were very good friends. The little pig would come to play with the little rabbit every once in a while. They always had a great time together."
"But the piglet is an adventurer. He wants to explore all the interesting places in the world. He believes that the world is so big, there must be a place where he can feel a sense of belonging and find his own value. So he often leaves without saying goodbye, and he will be gone for two or three months at a time."
"But after seeing the world, he felt that it was nothing special, so he ran back to find the little rabbit in shame. However, the little rabbit had moved away and never came back. Only then did the little pig realize that he had already had a sense of belonging, but he was too stupid to realize it. He was arrogant and conceited, and always ignored the little rabbit."
"All the excitement and joy he experienced during the adventure could not compare to the time he spent with the little rabbit. The little rabbit was his home. The little rabbit created a warm, imaginary world for him. It was the home that the little pig longed for and dreamed of."
"But the little rabbit disappeared and never came back. The little pig couldn't find him no matter how hard he looked. Perhaps the little pig's efforts moved God, and after several years of searching, the little pig finally found the little rabbit. He said to the little rabbit -"
"sorry."
"I love you."
There was a bitterness in Gu Xingjue's eyes, and the hand that was patting Chen Song's chest stopped, and Chen Song's heart also stopped.
Gu Xingjue smiled, trying to hide his red eyes: "Chen Song, I know I owe you many days and nights that I can never repay."
"And about Cheng and Song," he could emphasize the back of his nose to distinguish it, "I know he approached you back then. He and I didn't have anything except that kiss...that time you saw us.
"That skiing trip was also a real teaching and guidance. I didn't have any other thoughts about him except the guidance. When I saw you skiing at that time, my mind was on you. After seeing you, I pretended to be fine, but in fact, I had no intention of skiing at all. I kept watching you. I didn't know you could smile so happily when playing with others."
"I was wondering why you rarely smile when you're with me. Is it because I can't make you happy? But you know, the time I spend with you is the happiest and most relaxing time in my life."
"He said you were a substitute, but that's not true. I had no impression of him in high school. Later, he approached me at Xie Yanchen's welcoming party. His main purpose in approaching me was also because he had his eye on the Gu family. His family had business problems at the time and needed help."
"The phone call the night you left..." Gu Xingjue said cautiously while looking at Chen Song's expression.
Chen Song finally moved a little, his pupils dilated slightly and then he closed his eyes.
"Stop talking."
"No, that's what I'm saying. Some things need explaining. Okay?"
Gu Xingjue knew that these things had always been a thorn in Chen Song's heart. If Gu Xingjue didn't tell him, Chen Song would always doubt himself, questioning whether he was good enough and had never received anyone's love.
Gu Xingjue wanted to tell him that he loved him, that he was good, and that he was worth it.
Chen Song turned his back to Gu Xingjue, shrank slightly, and said nothing.
Gu Xingjue wanted to hug him, but he didn't dare. Seeing that Chen Song didn't refuse, he thought for a moment and continued, "He is a racing beginner. When he was racing with me, our cars accidentally collided. He broke his leg and was admitted to the hospital. I feel responsible. He asked me to stay with him in the hospital for one night. I agreed. When I was in the hospital, you called. He and I took a step back and said we would stay by the phone. Call me if anything happened. After that night with you, I also made my attitude clear to him. I have you. I don't want anyone else. It was me who made a fool of myself. I had an unclear relationship with others and indulged him just to piss you off. I was jealous of Yun Jingsheng, and I wanted you to be jealous of me. I did all these childish and stupid things, and then messed up our relationship and pushed you further and further away."
"This is the first time someone has made me want to live a good life. I've never felt that way before. I don't know how to maintain a relationship. Just like you said, loving someone should be like cherishing a fragile object. Be careful, afraid that they will bump into something, get hurt, or get hurt."
"I was a bastard before, but now I know, I've learned, and I love you, Chen Song."
After saying this, Gu Xingjue breathed lightly, sweating all over, and nervously kept fingering the thick calluses on his hands.
Chen Song struggled to process the past, his heart a tangled mess, like a pot of gruel, tinged with a mixture of bitterness that brought tears to his eyes.
"But I don't love you anymore."
Tears ran down her cheeks and dotted onto the white bed sheet, drawing two small flowers.
"It's okay," Gu Xingjue gently hugged Chen Song from behind and said softly, "It's enough that I love you. I don't want you to forgive me. I just want to tell you that in this world, you are the one and only Chen Song, the only Chen Song I like, the Chen Song I will love forever. You don't have to question my love for you. Whenever you have doubts or hesitations, you can confirm it with me again and again."
"The story is over, it's time to go to bed, baby."
…
The next day, when Chen Song woke up, Gu Xingjue was still asleep. Chen Song rubbed his sore eyelids, tears still stained the corners of his eyes. His head was dizzy, and Gu Xingjue's words from the previous day kept echoing in his mind.
Gu Xingjue lay soundly asleep on the bed, as if he had gone to bed very late the previous night. His thick eyebrows were lightly knitted, and his profile was smooth and coolly handsome. A man with such a large frame, who usually looked broad and toned, now looked much thinner.
Chen Song covered him with a blanket and tiptoed out of the ward. As soon as he closed the door, he saw Gu Yiming sitting on the floor next to him, with bodyguards standing on either side of him.
Chen Song was startled and frightened.
Gu Yiming put down the documents in his hand, looked up at him, his eyes dark and blue: "Are you reconciled?"
Chen Song was silent for a moment and looked away: "No."
Gu Yiming casually threw the document aside, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples: "Oh, it's a waste of my position to stay here all night. We've been sleeping in the same bed and still haven't reconciled. I don't understand you people."
He had rushed back to Hangzhou yesterday to deal with some work. He rushed back in the middle of the night and saw the two of them hugging each other at the ward door. He wisely sat outside. If he went in at this time, his brother would probably kill him. He thought Chen Song would leave soon, so he waited outside while finishing his work.
As a result, when he was almost done, no one came out. He stood up and looked through the glass, and saw that...the two of them slept in the same bed.
Chen Song's ears turned slightly red, he turned around and walked away, but after a few steps he turned back. He had gone in the wrong direction.
Gu Yiming: “…”
"Well... do you want breakfast? I'll go buy it." Chen Song tried to hide his embarrassment.
Gu Yiming glanced at the bodyguard next to him: "Do you think I look like someone who needs to buy breakfast?"
Chen Song glanced at the two bodyguards beside him, speechless. Ever since Li Shan's incident, a wave of black suits had flooded into the white medical uniforms. Bodyguards patrolled every floor regularly to ensure the safety of the medical staff and patients.
"Okay, I'll have someone buy you something. Century egg and lean pork porridge?"
"Hmm...well, forget it. I'll go buy it myself. I'll be leaving now."
Chen Song still forgot to buy breakfast. He walked into the elevator and pressed the 7th floor button to go check on Zhou Shudie.
About two weeks later, Zhou Shudie still refused to order a prosthetic limb, became depressed, and refused to cooperate with treatment. Everyone, including Chen Song, was helpless.
Chen Song was tossed between her and Gu Xingjue, exhausted both physically and mentally, and he had a good night's sleep last night. Secondly, there were some things that he was brooding over, which turned out to be a misunderstanding caused by the two of them secretly competing with each other.
Both of them had caused a lot of harm to each other's pride, but they also gave up their dignity and lowered their posture to keep each other. However, Chen Song escaped first, and Gu Xingjue was still chasing him.
He was confused now, but one thing was certain: he held a special place in Gu Xingjue's heart, not just a joke as he had initially thought.
So if you live, time will slowly reveal the answers to some questions. Life is sincere and precious. Even though there are many low points that are beyond comprehension and exhaustion, you can always get through them.
Chen Song gained some insights from this incident and wanted to make a final attempt to persuade Zhou Shudie. He thought this might be the last resort.
So Chen Song didn't go to Zhou Shudie's ward. He returned to his office, took off his white coat, changed into casual clothes, and took a short leave from the hospital to go out. He first went to a nearby flower shop to buy a bunch of fresh gardenias, and then went to a bookstore to buy a book.
A book he read in high school that continued his life.
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