Chapter 79: The scent of osmanthus wine Chen Song and he looked at each other...
Chen Song stared at him for a long time, then looked away at the black wall above the door, which was a bottomless black hole.
"You should go back, really. You saved me and helped me a lot, and I'm very grateful. But this can't change the relationship between us."
"Gu Xingjue," Chen Song lowered his eyes to look at him, his gray pupils dimming against the light. "Severing ties will only make the pain worse. A short pain is worse than a long one. Life is long, you have to look forward."
"Keep going and don't look back."
Gu Xingjue lowered his head and looked at the flowers with a blank gaze for a while, then put the strawberry flowers by the door and stood up.
Gu Xingjue was a very tall man, and he gave off an oppressive vibe when he approached, but the words he spoke all sounded helpless and like he was surrendering.
"I'm moving forward, moving forward all the time. You're the one walking ahead of me. You're moving forward all the time, and no matter how hard I try, I can't catch up." Gu Xingjue's voice was a little hoarse, and he blinked. "Chen Song, I know you don't understand yet. It's okay, I'll go. You should have a good rest."
Gu Xingjue was silent for a while and didn't move. Chen Song waited for him to leave without saying a word.
The sensor light went out, and in the pitch darkness, Chen Song could not see Gu Xingjue's face so close to him. The only thing he could see was the glowing strawberry flower lying on the ground.
Gu Xingjue moved his feet and passed him in the darkness. The wind blew past Chen Song's sleeves, leaving behind a strong woody fragrance. The sensor light lit up with the sound, and there was no one in front of him, only a closed door.
"Take your stuff. Leave it here and I'll throw it away."
The elevator door dinged open, and Gu Xingjue said with a smile as he walked into the elevator: "What I give you is yours. You can keep it or throw it away, as long as you are happy."
The elevator door closed, blocking out the tail end of Gu Xingjue's voice.
In silence, the sensor light went out again. Chen Song stood there, his eyes fixed on the bouquet of flowers that glowed in the corner, like a small, warm fire falling on his cold heart.
Gu Xingjue hasn't given up yet and isn't replying messages. Is he preparing for this...?
Surprise...huh?
He didn't know how long it had been since he heard this word come out of Gu Xingjue's mouth.
Do you want to... throw it away?
Gu Xingjue's appearance and this special bouquet of flowers shook Chen Song's heart. He wanted to stifle this emotion, so he kept reminding himself to throw it away.
But there is always a voice retorting, don’t throw it away, don’t throw it away, don’t.
Two thoughts are entangled and fighting.
Chen Song couldn't find the answer, so he had to take the flowers, the banner sent by Gu Xingjue, and the cake into the house first.
The cake was put in the refrigerator, and the banner with the bag and flowers was placed on the coffee table.
Chen Song always had the habit of running away when he encountered problems, fleeing from Vancouver to Beijing, and then from Beijing back to Vancouver.
He knew he'd never let go of it. He simply buried all his pain in a small box and locked it. He couldn't throw it away, because it had become a part of Chen Song's body, woven into his flesh. He could only throw the key away, far away, into the sea of people, where he couldn't find it.
But someone stumbled out of the crowd and retrieved the key. He carefully opened the small box, took out the pain inside bit by bit, absorbed it into his own body, and bore it for him.
Chen Song looked at the bouquet of flowers, becoming increasingly bewildered, as he seemed to have experienced what happiness felt like. But he didn't know what to do or how to process it.
A coward is afraid even of happiness.
The only sound in the dark room was the air conditioner, blowing air. This air conditioner was very old and seemed to have very little refrigerant. It was noisy and not very cool.
The dormitory is not big, the kitchen, bedroom and living room are all connected, and the only thing separated by a wall and door is the toilet which is less than two square meters.
Chen Song lay on his side on the bed, staring at the bunch of bright strawberry flowers on the coffee table.
The screen of the phone that was charging nearby lit up. Chen Song looked up and saw that it was a message from "Jue".
Good night and sweet dreams
Before falling asleep, Chen Song’s last thought was that the bouquet of flowers would die tomorrow.
The next morning, when Chen Song woke up, the first thing he saw was the strawberry flower on the coffee table, still glowing, though a little dim.
Chen Song got out of bed and walked to the coffee table and turned off the power switch hidden under the flowers.
It was so hot in summer, and Chen Song didn't know what to do with the bouquet. He didn't want to eat it, but it would be a shame to tear open such beautiful flowers. If they were left here, they would spoil, just like being thrown out.
After thinking about it, Chen Song realized that he should keep the bouquet of flowers. He started to escape again, washed up and went out.
The bouquet of flowers sat quietly on the coffee table. Chen Song was busy at work. After work, he washed up and fell into bed, then hurried out the door. He didn't even read Gu Xingjue's message. He had specifically set Gu Xingjue to do not disturb.
It was not until the third night that Chen Song came home from get off work and got caught in the rain. He did not go to bed first, nor did he go to the bathroom to take a shower. He was so tired that he sat on the sofa. Only then did he see that the bunch of strawberry flowers had rotted and was emitting a sour smell.
Chen Song turned on the light switch, and the small light bead flickered for a while before starting to emit a dim light continuously.
Chen Song looked at it silently for a while, took out his mobile phone and found the user named "Jue". He clicked the screen several times and jumped to the last message he read.
Gu Xingjue did not mention the fact that Chen Song refused the flowers. It was as if this incident had never happened. Gu Xingjue continued to share his daily life, forecast the weather, and report his itinerary.
Chen Song sat on the sofa, reading for nearly half an hour before finishing. After turning off his phone, Jue sent a new message on the screen. Chen Song tapped it, but nothing happened. It was stuck. He swiped the screen randomly, trying to unlock it, but after a long pause, it suddenly froze on the camera screen, unable to exit. He tried turning off the phone, but to no avail. He also accidentally hit the mute button, causing the camera to snap a few photos of the rotting strawberry blossoms.
Chen Song was stunned when he realized what was happening, then he restarted his phone, put it aside and went to wash up.
After washing up, Chen Song took apart the strawberry flowers, threw away the strawberries, washed the remaining plastic film and bamboo sticks, and put the things in the corner of the cabinet.
He turned off Gu Xingjue's Do Not Disturb function. Gu Xingjue continued to send messages as usual, and he read them every night. He just never replied, except on the 15th of every month when he would transfer money to pay off his debts.
Gu Xingjue didn't question Chen Song why he didn't reply to him. He just kept sending his own messages and never stopped.
…
More than a month passed like this.
The scorching heat of September in Vancouver hadn't yet dissipated, and the sun was still blazing. The moon on August 14th was nearly full, and Yile distributed mooncake gift boxes to all employees.
Ye Wenzhou and Dong Jingming received the gift boxes for the team and brought them to Chen Song's office. There were only three people in the team: him, Chen Song, and Dong Jingming. Chen Song was the team leader, and he and Dong Jingming were interns who were about to be promoted to full-time positions.
After Chen Song came back from the meeting, Ye Wenzhou and Dong Jingming were sharing mooncakes.
Seeing Chen Song coming, Ye Wenzhou smiled and said, "Boss, the company has distributed mooncakes. What kind of filling do you like?"
Chen Song was stunned, looking at the gift box that the two of them were fiddling with on the table.
Yile was not available last year.
Chen Song had no habit of celebrating festivals alone, so this year he returned to Wen City and became close to Lu Yuan's family. Usually, Lu Yuan would send him food made by Tang Shihe during these festivals.
"I'm good with either. You can choose." Chen Song sat on the chair and sorted the documents.
"Okay, then I'll have the salted egg yolk version." Ye Wenzhou opened Chen Song's gift box, "I'll give you all my five-nut cookies."
Dong Jingming didn't take Chen Song's, but took all of Ye Wenzhou's bean paste and randomly stuffed a few peach and durian ones with strange flavors back into his cup.
"Oh, right." Ye Wenzhou suddenly said after dividing the spoils, "My girlfriend's grandmother's health has suddenly improved recently. She is very energetic. After we confirmed that it was not a terminal illness, we took her out of the hospital. Both families are worried that she will have another accident, so they are planning to move the wedding forward and get married as soon as possible."
"Congratulations, congratulations." Dong Jingming said, "Has the wedding date been set?"
Upon hearing this, Chen Song also put down the documents in his hand, his tired brows relaxed, and he breathed a sigh of relief for Ye Wenzhou.
"Well, it hasn't been confirmed yet. They're looking at the time, and it should be around the middle of next month. I'll let you know when it's confirmed. You all have to come then, both of you. You have to ask for leave to come. I'll have Dr. Ding's team see you for a day at work. It's okay."
"Okay, boss? You promised me."
Chen Song smiled and said, "Okay."
"Then I'll be off work. You guys should go to bed early." Ye Wenzhou said goodbye while carrying the bag.
Dong Jingming is on duty today, and Chen Song has no intention of leaving. He basically wants to stay for a while before leaving.
Dong Jingming said to him, "Doctor Chen, go back and rest. Leave this to me. You can trust me."
Chen Song looked at the computer screen and said, "Okay, wait until I finish reviewing today's medical records."
Chen Song went off work as he said after reviewing the medical records. Dong Jingming was very relieved that he finally didn't have to work overtime until late.
When he went out, thick dark clouds were pressing down on the sky and it was very hot and stuffy. The weather forecast that Gu Xingjue had given him last night said that there would be thunderstorms tonight, so he asked him to bring an umbrella with him and not to work overtime.
Chen Song hurried back to the dormitory before the thunderstorm. After washing up, he lay down on his bed and watched over Xingjue's daily routine. This seemed to be his bedtime habit.
Gu Xingjue’s most recent messages were still at two o’clock in the afternoon.
[Decision]: I have a dinner with a business partner and should be home late tonight. Remember to come back early. If it's thundering and raining late and you get caught in the rain, go home and take a hot bath before going to bed.
【Decision】: If I don’t reply your message, it means I will reply you after I’m done with my work.
Gu Xingjue would almost always add a sentence before disappearing, saying he would reply when he was done, even though Chen Song had never sent a message.
No, he'd sent messages, sent money transfers, and they were all replied instantly. Once, at 2 a.m., the other party also replied instantly. They even asked if he was working overtime and to get some rest.
Are we still at the dinner party? It seems like he's a bit busy today...
Chen Song shut off his phone and quickly fell asleep. He didn't know how long he slept, but he dreamed of a ringtone that came from far away and then approached, echoing in his mind. It wasn't until a knock on the door shattered his dream that he woke up, his eyes suddenly open, his heart beating rapidly.
The knocking sound was mixed with the doorbell ringing. Chen Song realized that it was not a dream. Someone was indeed ringing his doorbell.
The doorbell continued to ring, and the door was knocked on from time to time.
This way of knocking on the door reminded Chen Song of someone, and his heart suddenly sank.
Chen Song's mouth felt dry, his Adam's apple twitched, and his heart pounded. He hadn't turned on the air conditioner tonight, and he was sweating profusely. He threw back the covers and walked barefoot to the door. He paused for a moment on the doorknob before opening it.
A strong aroma of osmanthus wine wafted in the wind.
"Surpeise~"
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The author has something to say: "A coward is afraid of even happiness." Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human
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