Chapter 81 I Want to Kiss You Gu Xingjue Cried and...
Gu Xingjue's crying and fussing gave Chen Song a headache. Helplessly, he said, as if giving up, "That's enough. Get up."
"I don't want it, wuwuwu~ My wife wants to throw me away again."
Chen Song sighed: "Get up first, I'll go into the house and treat your wound."
Gu Xingjue relaxed for a moment after hearing this. He raised his head and rested his chin on Chen Song's thigh. He looked at Chen Song with wet eyes, "Do you still want my opinion, wife?"
Chen Song's heartbeat quickened. Gu Xingjue's crying always annoyed him, but Chen Song knew it was due to his own softness. Every time he saw Gu Xingjue cry, he felt an inexplicable surge of joy, which struck him as strange and incomprehensible.
Is there something about me that makes me like bullying people and making them cry?
Chen Song quickly rejected this idea. After thinking about it, it seemed that he could only come to this conclusion.
He attributed Gu Xingjue's tears to his feelings for him. Gu Xingjue's flowery love words were no match for a good cry.
Because I felt Gu Xingjue's deep love, so... I'm excited... right?
Chen Song swallowed, trying to use the sinking saliva to suppress his pounding heartbeat.
"I have no idea."
Chen Song blinked and said seriously.
He truly wasn't sure if he still wanted to be with Gu Xingjue. Almost two years had passed, and he hadn't let go. He simply shielded Gu Xingjue in an invisible space. Whenever Gu Xingjue broke through that barrier and entered his world, Chen Song's heart would still beat for him.
It wasn't that he didn't love her anymore, it was just that he didn't want to love her anymore. He had given up struggling; he had no strength, no courage. As for whether he would ever let her go and accept someone new, he didn't know. At least not right now. He had tried to accept Yun Jingsheng before, but whenever he was with Yun Jingsheng with that mindset, all he could think about was Gu Xingjue.
Whether he accepted Gu Xingjue again or chose someone new, he couldn't bear the pain of being hurt again. How could he be happy? Could he really be happy?
Happiness is a game for the brave, where courage is the gambler. And he is just a coward.
Gu Xingjue's crying became quieter, and he looked at him seriously and asked, "Why don't you know?"
"I...don't dare anymore."
"Are you afraid that I'll be like before?"
"I have no idea."
Gu Xingjue raised his hand and held Chen Song's hand. Chen Song's hands were always cold, no matter in winter or summer, just like his heart that could never be warmed.
Gu Xingjue gently stroked his palm with his wrinkled and scarred palm, as if licking it to comfort him: "It's still my fault. Don't worry, baby, I will use every morning to tell you that I will love you, cherish you, and protect you."
"I will wait for you until the day you are ready to hug me. But you are not allowed to look for anyone else during this time~"
The scar on Gu Xingjue's palm where he had blocked the knife for Chen Song was burning hot, like countless tiny needles piercing Chen Song's heart, so small that it didn't hurt at all, yet so dense that it caused a dense itch everywhere in his heart.
"Gu Xingjue, it's late. It's time to go to bed. You should go back."
Heavy rain poured in from the window at the corner above, muffled thunder was still rumbling intermittently, and a few flashes of lightning streaked across the dark night sky, illuminating the powerful rain flow in an instant.
Gu Xingjue looked at him eagerly: "It's raining, honey, I can't go back."
Chen Song: “…”
"You drove here, didn't you?" Chen Song narrowed his eyes and looked at him with a hint of reproach. "How dare you drive when you're so drunk?"
Gu Xingjue shook his head, rubbing his chin against Chen Song's chin, "I don't dare. I'm afraid of death. If I die, I'll never see you again. I asked the driver to bring you here. I'll be good."
"Then ask your driver to take you back to where you came from."
"I gave him a day off. Mid-Autumn Festival holiday. Hehe, I'm fine."
Chen Song: “…”
"Then call someone to pick you up."
"No one cares about me." Gu Xingjue put away his smile and became sad again, "I've always been alone. It's raining so hard outside, and no one cares about me. Even if it doesn't rain, no one will care about me."
Chen Song was startled, remembering what Gu Yiming had said about Gu Xingjue's family affairs. A gap suddenly fell in his heart, and the rain and wind outside the window kept blowing in, making him feel uncomfortable.
Chen Song had always thought that Gu Xingjue was a star-studded figure, living a privileged life with everything he needed. It wasn't until Gu Yiming told him everything that he realized that Gu Xingjue had also walked a long way alone in the darkness.
"Gu Xingjue," Chen Song lowered his eyes and looked at him, his expression softening a little, "Get up and apply the medicine."
Gu Xingjue's eyes lit up: "Okay, wife."
"Don't shout." Chen Song shook off his hand.
Gu Xingjue immediately wiped away his tears and stood up. His body suddenly paused and he did not get up again.
"What's wrong?" Chen Song saw that he was motionless with his head down, thinking that he was injured somewhere.
Gu Xingjue quickly took off his shoes and handed them to Chen Song's feet: "Why are you here barefoot? What if you get hurt? Put on my shoes first. Lift your feet and I'll wipe them for you."
Chen Song was startled, then he looked down and realized he wasn't wearing shoes. He awkwardly tucked his toes in and said, "No, just get up. If I put on some shoes, you'll still be naked. It'll only take two steps."
Gu Xingjue grabbed Chen Song's ankle and said, "No. I can't let my wife get hurt. Lift her up, or do you want me to carry her up?"
Gu Xingjue's palms were always covered in small scars, scars that had touched every part of Chen Song's body, rough yet gentle, and irresistible. Now, a new, larger scar had been added, and when it touched Chen Song's ankle, it startled him, and his heart leaped like a small flame.
When he tried to retract his foot, Gu Xingjue still held it firmly.
With Gu Xingjue now in such a reckless state, Chen Song was afraid he would actually pick him up, so he had no choice but to lift his feet. He let Gu Xingjue smooth the sand and dust off his soles, and then put them into the leather shoes that were much too big for him.
"Okay." Gu Xingjue stood up barefoot.
Chen Song said "hmm" and turned to walk up. When he reached the corner, he turned around and saw Gu Xingjue still standing there. He was only wearing a pair of white socks and staring at him eagerly.
"?"
"Why don't you leave?" Chen Song asked him. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him.
"You didn't lead me away. I want to hold hands. I want you to lead me away."
He really seemed like a dog. He was on a leash, but Chen Song didn't hold the leash, so his orders were just waiting.
Chen Song's eyes moved slightly, he took a deep breath, walked downstairs in his inappropriate leather shoes, took his hand, and felt the knife marks on his heart again.
"Let's go."
"Okay." Gu Xingjue followed him upwards, taking one slow step at a time. "From now on, we'll all walk together. For the rest of our lives. We'll walk in the rain, in the snow, in the sun. We'll walk in the wind, smelling the flowers, from north to south, from west to east. As long as time keeps turning, we'll keep walking, all the way to the end of the universe."
"Why don't you hold an umbrella?" Chen Song asked, as if he was protecting a child's innocence.
"Because when two people are together, even if we don't hold an umbrella, we won't feel pain, but will feel happy instead. The first time we met, it was snowing, and you carried me on your back."
Gu Xingjue rambled on and on, and Chen Song listened quietly, his heart a dry patch of earth slowly filling with gentle spring water. Somehow, Gu Xingjue's words had the power to bring back those images. They had truly walked side by side through the snow, across the world, and soared through the universe and galaxies.
The two walked to the door, which was still open.
After entering the house, Chen Song pulled Gu Xingjue to sit on the sofa, took out the medicine box and applied medicine to him. Gu Xingjue, who had finally stopped crying, began to cry again.
And this time she didn't throw a tantrum. She cried very patiently, her face turning red, but she didn't make any sound. When she couldn't hold it back anymore, she would choke and sob.
Chen Song smiled, and the thought of teasing him came to mind: "Why are you crying again? Why haven't I seen you cry so much before? You are a crybaby, crybaby Gu Xingjue."
"I'm happy, I'm happy, honey. For so long, I've applied medicine myself when I was injured. I never thought you would apply medicine for me. I cherish it very much. I cherish it very much. I cherish everything you give me."
"I also carefully kept the red string you made for me to bring peace. I found it all in the bedside table when I went home the other day. The ring, the red string, the diary. And the key you left on the table."
"I kept everything well. The ring," Gu Xingjue glanced at Chen Song, afraid that he would throw it away again, and then changed something and continued, "The red string gets dirty and damaged easily when it gets wet, so I didn't wear it and put it away. I couldn't bear to wear it because you said it was the last time you did it for me. The house, I didn't sell it either. I still lived there when I was in Beijing. I didn't touch any of your things."
Chen Song paused and continued to apply medicine to him.
After wiping the wound on Gu Xingjue's arm, Chen Song frowned, took a deep breath, and lifted Gu Xingjue's shirt: "Hold it, I'll apply medicine for you."
Gu Xingjue pinched the corner of his shirt and kept staring at him.
Chen Song pinched the wound with a cotton ball and scraped it. He noticed the sulfuric acid scars and his heart still beat uncomfortably.
After applying the medicine, Chen Song broke out in a sweat.
"Why are you looking at me?" Chen Song wiped the sweat from his forehead and neck, his half-closed eyes alluring without him realizing it.
Gu Xingjue swallowed his dry throat and said in a hoarse voice: "You are very beautiful. I want to kiss you."
"Can I kiss you, honey?"
Chen Song paused as he wiped the sweat off his face. His heart beat faster and some physiological impulses were about to burst out. He felt even hotter.
Gu Xingjue slowly approached, and the strong aroma of osmanthus wine intoxicated and confused his heart.
The lips washed by tears are crystal clear and shiny, like soft, sweet and juicy peaches. One bite can relieve the heat in your heart.
Chen Song's breathing also became disordered. The cold fragrance was mixed with the aroma of osmanthus wine, and his breathing became disordered.
The loosened string suddenly woke up and tightened again. Chen Song hurriedly moved away and got up to turn on the air conditioner.
First, it must be because the air conditioning is not on. It's too hot, and I'm dizzy from the heat. Yes, that's it.
"Go take a shower." Chen Song sat back on the bed and blew on the air conditioner for a while. The wind was not too cold, but it made him sober up a little. Then he realized, "No, I can't take a shower because I'm covered in wounds. And I drank so much."
"Go to sleep. You sleep on the floor. I'll spread a blanket for you. The sofa is too small to accommodate you."
Chen Song took out a thick winter quilt from the bag on the wardrobe and spread it on the floor for him, then took a thin blanket to cover him.
After he finished tinkering with it, he turned around and saw Gu Xingjue still sitting there staring at him stupidly.
"Come here, it's time to sleep." Chen Song called him, but he didn't respond. He still looked at Chen Song seriously and persistently.
Chen Song: “…”
Really, like a dog.
This time Chen Song didn't let him go. He sat on the bed without moving and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
"I have to endure it for a while." Gu Xingjue said.
"What are you enduring?"
"Hold back the urge to kiss you."
"Then you just bear with it, I'm going to sleep first." Chen Song lay down, covered himself with the quilt and closed his eyes.
This air conditioner really needs some new refrigerant, it's not cool at all.
Chen Song tossed and turned for a long time but couldn't fall asleep and was still very hot.
Until there was a rustling sound from the sofa, Gu Xingjue walked over, lay down on the ground, and covered himself with the quilt. Only then did Chen Song stop moving.
Chen Song suddenly regretted it. He didn't know what he was thinking about bringing people in. He was really crazy.
The thunder outside the window stopped, but the rain was still very loud. The sound of rain could calm Chen Song down. He liked to sleep on rainy days because it gave him an inexplicable sense of security.
"Honey, are you asleep?"
"Um."
"This year is the sixth year that I have liked you." Gu Xingjue said without any beginning or end.
Chen Song was silent for a while, then asked, "I'm not very interesting, what do you like about me?"
Gu Xingjue paused, remembering that Chen Song was sulking. He later learned that Cheng Song had gone to see Chen Song. Of course, he also learned that Cheng Song had played the recording to him.
In the recording, for the sake of dignity, Gu Xingjue didn't dare to admit that he liked Chen Song, didn't dare to admit that he was serious, and made up excuses for himself. How did he say that?
Gu Xingjue closed his eyes and thought hard with his dizzy head. Then he remembered.
How could I fall in love with such a boring person?
Chen Song was completely clueless in that area, and Gu Xingjue found him uninteresting. But it was precisely because of Chen Song's youthful appearance that he was so alluring, unconsciously so. Being uninteresting to the extreme was actually a form of interest.
Gu Xingjue laughed, a self-deprecating laugh: "No, that's not the case. My little Songbao is the most interesting person in the world. That was just nonsense I said when I was young and stupid. I apologize."
"You're the funniest, especially when you're shy. You blush when I kiss you, so cute. Even though we've done this so many times, you're still shy. Even though I've seen every part of your body, you're still too embarrassed to turn on the lights, so I can only use a small one each time. But do you know you're really pretty? You're as white as porcelain, and your eyes are as red as a rabbit. I love you so much."
"I like it very much, I really like it. I love you so much, my wife~"
Gu Xing was so determined that he was like a deer beating in his heart. He was ready to jump onto the bed and put one hand on Chen Song's ear.
"I can't help it. I still want to kiss you."
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