Chapter 20: Try it with me. This is like a withdrawal reaction...
It's like a withdrawal reaction. It's the hardest at the beginning, but you'll get used to it over time.
Chen Song should have gotten used to it long ago. He and Gu Xingjue hadn't always been inseparable. He'd been slowly weaning himself off the habit, but whenever things got better, Gu Xingjue would suddenly reappear and disrupt everything.
If that's the case, Chen Song is willing to avoid him for the rest of his life. Time will always heal everything.
Life went on as usual. Chen Song made it through the week, constantly adjusting himself. This weekend, he planned not to go anywhere but to study in the school library.
As the end of the semester approaches, college students will face comprehensive subject examinations, so many people come to the library.
Chen Song arrived at six in the morning and took his seat. His desk was covered with textbooks from various majors. He immersed himself in his studies, studying from day to night without eating. Except for the occasional moments when his mind wandered, he was completely focused.
Having not eaten all day, a deep hunger raged in his stomach. Chen Song wasn't hungry, meaning he had no appetite, but his body was constantly protesting, declaring its hunger. Chen Song had lost a lot of weight in the past few days, but he was completely unaware.
By now, his stomach was already aching from hunger, rumbling non-stop, disrupting the otherwise silent library. Even though most people studying in the library wore headphones, Chen Song still felt a little embarrassed.
After the constant grunting, a girl next to him turned to him and said, "Brother, don't be so stubborn. Don't let the child starve."
Chen Song: “…”
Chen Song immediately packed up and went to eat.
He was still a little dizzy after getting up, and his back ached from sitting for so long. Chen Song felt like a broken robot, about to fall apart.
The winter wind in Beijing was extremely biting that night. Chen Song was startled by the cold just as he stepped out of the house with his book. His tired and drowsy brain suddenly became much clearer.
In front of the library stood two long rows of red plum blossoms, their branches trembling in the wind, their petals gently fluttering. Along the asphalt path in between, many couples strolled, creating a romantic and beautiful scene, the envy of others.
A helpless thought rang in Chen Song's mind at this moment. If he liked a girl, would the result be different? But then he changed his mind and thought, forget it. Even if he met a good woman, she would only suffer if she followed him.
Chen Song put away those messy thoughts, held the book in his arms higher to block the wind blowing into his neck, lowered his eyes and walked down the stairs.
There was a coffee shop on the way to the cafeteria. Chen Song glanced and saw Yun Jingsheng and a female student walking out.
That girl was Huang Qian, the monitor of the class next door. Chen Song had occasionally come into contact with her on matters related to the grade. Her grades in all subjects were also very outstanding and excellent.
Chen Song probably knew why the two of them were together. Last time, Yun Jingsheng told him that she was among those chosen to go to Ruoyang for internship.
The two of them were holding a cup of coffee in their hands, laughing and talking about something, and it seemed that they were having a very harmonious conversation. The moment they turned their heads and looked forward, they saw Chen Song.
Yun Jingsheng was the first to greet him: "Xiao Song, what a coincidence that you're here too."
Chen Song's eyes were dark and sallow, and he had lost a lot of weight. His black hair was a little messy in the cold wind, and his gray eyes hid an unspeakable sorrow. Yun Jingsheng frowned slightly and looked at the pile of books in his arms. A long scar appeared on his fair and slender hand, which was heartbreaking to see.
Yun Jingsheng pointed at his book with his eyes: "Come to the library to study?"
Chen Song nodded: "Yeah." He smiled politely and looked at Huang Qian as if to greet her with his eyes.
Huang Qian smiled generously: "I heard from Professor Yun that we will be colleagues soon. I didn't expect that we would actually become colleagues in the future after occasionally working together on things at school."
Chen Song narrowed his eyes, which were sore from the wind: "Yeah."
In fact, he didn't know what to say. He has always been taciturn and not very familiar with Huang Qian. The two of them only had some simple exchanges about work.
So when chatting about other topics, he can always end the topic with just a few simple words.
Yun Jingsheng noticed his reserved nature and said, "Don't stand there in the wind. Huang Qian, go back first. I have some things to discuss with Chen Song."
Huang Qian said, "Okay, Professor Yun."
"Bye." Huang Qian waved to the two and left.
When she walked a little further away, Yun Jingsheng took a step forward and moved closer to Chen Song. His gentle yet slightly distressed gaze wandered over Chen Song's face, finally landing on his deep grey eyes. He looked into his eyes and said, "It's only been a few days since we last met, Chen Song."
"You don't even sleep? How can you be more restless than a panda? Are you trying to cultivate immortality? You don't eat or sleep. I really can't believe a college student can be so busy."
Chen Song lowered his eyes and said nothing, but his stomach started to growl, as if he was agreeing with what Yun Jingsheng said.
Chen Song suddenly smiled bitterly: "I was just about to go eat."
Yun Jingsheng was rather helpless: "You know what time it is now. You're having dinner when others are having supper."
Chen Song couldn't refute it.
Yun Jingsheng: "Let's eat together. I want to have a midnight snack. Let's talk about the future of Ruoyang while we eat."
Chen Song agreed.
Yun Jingsheng had never eaten in the school cafeteria, so he asked Chen Song to take him to eat what Chen Song thought was the best food. Chen Song took him to the second floor of the restaurant to eat spicy hot pot.
At this time, there weren't many dishes left at the spicy hot pot restaurant, and the meat was almost gone. Chen Song preferred vegetarian food, so he still had some of the dishes he wanted. So he asked Yun Jingsheng, "Is there anything you'd like to eat? Sorry, we're out of dishes at this time."
Yun Jingsheng didn't mind: "Is there anything you like?"
Chen Song: "Yes, I eat more vegetables."
Yun Jingsheng: "Give me the same dish as yours. Not too much, just a little will do. I'm not very hungry. You have to eat more."
Chen Song hesitated: "Actually, we can eat something else. There are also delicious foods in other places."
Yun Jingsheng said, "It's okay, let's just eat at this place. The other places are the same at this time."
Seeing Yun Jingsheng was so insistent, Chen Song had no choice but to follow his instructions and order the same thing for Yun Jingsheng.
The two found a seat in a corner and sat down. After chatting for a while, the waiter called their number.
Chen Song didn't take the public chopsticks, but asked the waiter for two pairs of disposable chopsticks.
Chen Song opened the plastic bag, cut the chopsticks in half, rubbed them together, and handed them to Yun Jingsheng.
Yun Jingsheng took it and asked, "Will it taste better if you rub it?"
Chen Song opened a new plastic bag and repeated the previous action: "Is it possible?"
He raised the corner of his lip slightly as he spoke, "Actually, it's just to sweep away the sawdust. Public chopsticks aren't very hygienic, disposable chopsticks are better, but the sawdust might prick your hands."
Yun Jingsheng picked up a broccoli, put it in his mouth, chewed it, swallowed it, and said, "It's really delicious. Do you eat here often at school?"
Chen Song still had no appetite. He picked up a piece of cabbage and took a small bite. He chewed it for a long time in his mouth and swallowed it before replying, "Occasionally."
Yun Jingsheng said to order less for him and more for himself, but in fact Chen Song ordered even less for himself.
Yun Jingsheng did not disturb Chen Song from eating and ate quietly himself.
Chen Song could see Yun Jingsheng's gaze from the corner of his eye, but he paid no attention. For some reason, at this moment, he suddenly thought of Gu Xingjue.
Gu Xingjue told him not to associate with Yun Jingsheng anymore. Would Gu Xingjue be angry if he knew that the two of them were having dinner together?
No, because he wouldn't know. He rarely paid attention to Chen Song's life. Not to mention now. The current situation should be a complete break in their relationship.
But once...
"Chen Song? Chen Song?"
Yun Jingsheng's hand waved in front of Chen Song's eyes for a long time before Chen Song came back to his senses and answered him, "What's wrong?"
Yun Jingsheng frowned and looked at him: "You are in very bad condition. Judging from your current eating habits, you have an eating disorder. You are a medical student yourself, so you should be aware of your physical condition. Have you seen a doctor?"
"Definitely not," Yun Jingsheng answered for him, pausing, his tone a little heavy, "Chen Song, you're going to be a doctor in the future. Your health is above all else. Anything else..."
Yun Jingsheng suddenly stopped talking and sighed: "Although I don't know about you and him, I can't say much. But I want to stand in your shoes and consider you. We are friends in private, right? Leave him, he is not suitable for you."
"It's okay if you don't want to try with me. If there's a chance, I can introduce you to someone who can bring you a healthy relationship. A good relationship should add icing on the cake to your life, not make you unable to sleep or eat well."
Yun Jingsheng's tone was a little angry, but more of it was heartache.
Chen Song's grip on his chopsticks tightened slightly, and he took a very slow and laborious bite of the rice in his mouth. The calm emotions he had suppressed for several days were only superficial, and now they suddenly burst out.
His deep grey eyes were stained with scarlet tears, and bean-sized tears fell one by one. His stiff mouth twitched with difficulty, and a bitter smile emerged: "I've broken up with him."
Yun Jingsheng was startled and took a tissue to wipe his tears, but Chen Song avoided him and just took the tissue and wiped his tears himself.
Yun Jingsheng was still in a state of shock. He wasn't surprised by Chen Song and Gu Xingjue's separation. Their separation was inevitable. Yun Jingsheng was surprised by Chen Song's tears and the despair he felt.
Chen Song wiped his tears vigorously, suppressed his emotions after a moment, and said in a dry voice, "I'm sorry, I've been eating like this again. Didn't you say you had something to tell me? What is it?"
Yun Jingsheng didn't answer his question, but said seriously, "Chen Song, after spending more than a month together, I believe you should have some understanding of my personality. I consider myself a mature person, capable of being a loving partner. I can provide care and love, and I can give my lover the most loyal and exclusive preference."
"The best way to let go of a relationship is to accept another one. I'm not one of those little brats who will just play around. Try it with me."
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