Chapter 158
Xie Xichao and Xuan Yang sat on the stone block at the door. Behind him was the police station, and opposite him was a small group of fans who had rushed over after hearing the news.
The two sides are separated by a sidewalk in the middle, forming a clear-cut relative situation. The scene looked strangely anxious.
In fact, the fans Kuku was holding up their mobile phones and cannons to take pictures, while Jie Xichao was typing with his head down. Both parties were doing their own things and seemed quite comfortable. Only Xuanyang stood aside with his limbs stiff. He had never seen such a scene before and was so nervous that he almost stuttered: "You, me, and them..."
After Xie Xichao finished discussing the trending search with Fang Qingqing, he put away his phone and said, "I still don't understand."
He turned his head to look at Xuan Yang, his expression was indescribable: "Why don't you get on the bus yourself?"
Proclaim: "..."
He immediately began to change the subject awkwardly: "Why are you, just, sitting at the door like this?"
Xie Xichao's current posture is roughly equivalent to that of riding a wooden horse when he was a child. It seems that if the stone pillar did not have this function, he would be able to shake it a few times whenever he felt happy.
It cannot be said to be disgraceful, it can only be said to be not precious. Except for the faces, they are completely different from the star-studded top stars that we usually see in videos.
At one point he suspected that Jie Xichao had been possessed by another spirit.
But Xie Xichao said innocently: "There are no chairs outside."
Propaganda is speechless.
He wanted to say, "I just wanted to go out for some fresh air, I didn't say sit outside," but the police from the police station had already come out.
She looked at the scene with a bewildered expression, but she still remembered the important matter in time: "I have contacted the person, and he will stop by after the shift is handed over. Come in and wait."
So both of them got down from the stone pier.
Jie Xichao waved to the crowd of fans and pointed inside.
The latter was suddenly thrown into chaos.
Someone quickly asked: "Teacher Jie, when will you come back?"
"Yes, yes, you have been traveling for more than two months!"
Xie Xichao smiled and played dumb: "Go home early."
He entered the police station amid wailing. Soon, a taxi stopped at the door. Jie Xichao and Xuan Yang went out together to count his backpack and suitcase. After the inventory was completed, Xuan Yang breathed a sigh of relief, took the wallet and was about to give the red envelope.
On the side, a kind-hearted person lived up to everyone's expectations and shouted, "Ah, you are Jie Xichao, right? I've seen the TV series you starred in!"
So, the red envelope event turned into an impromptu autograph session.
It was not until 2:30 in the afternoon that they walked out of the police station.
Xuan Yang carried his bag. Jie Xichao brought the propaganda.
-
The matter is actually quite mysterious. For both parties.
For Xie Xichao, he was traveling happily when he suddenly received a call from his former partner. The other party claimed that he was in the same city as him and that everything on his body except his cell phone was lost. This story sounds like the beginning of a scam phone call, but it is actually true.
At least when Jie Xichao rushed to the police station, he did see Xuan Yang, who looked dejected.
For propaganda...
"Why don't you ask me why I'm here?" he said.
They were sitting in a taxi. Xie Xichao's original plan was to put his luggage down and go for a walk in the ancient city. A phone call from Xuan Yang disrupted his plan, but Xie Xichao still stubbornly set the original destination when taking a taxi.
Xie Xichao said: "Ah, Director Du just sent me a message."
"He said you had something to talk to me about and couldn't wait for me to return to City A. He heard that I had returned to China, so he came to find me," he said.
Xuan Yang corrected awkwardly: "Nothing happened."
Jie Xichao looked at him. His eyes told young people to be honest.
"Well," Xuan Yang said, "a little bit."
He scratched his hair, "But I haven't thought about it yet."
I haven’t thought about it yet.
But I took a ten-hour high-speed train to visit his place.
And in the process, I was so focused on recording my inspirations on the memo on my phone that I forgot all the bag I was carrying and the luggage in the trunk in the taxi. So much so that I had to change my plans and contact him in advance.
Very publicity.
Xie Xichao felt that this was the time to complain, but he didn't know if it was because everything and everyone around him was too unfamiliar, so when Xuan Yang appeared, the sense of familiarity overwhelmed the sense of strangeness. Or maybe it's because he is not a person who likes to make jokes.
In short, Xie Xichao actually had no desire to complain.
But he didn't expect that he would be so considerate as not to complain or publicize it. Xuan Yang, in turn, didn't give him any face. The taxi arrived and the two got out.
Almost the second the taxi drove away, Xuan Yang spoke.
"Xi Chao." He said carefully, "Are you a little unhappy?"
*
Of all Xie Xichao's travel experiences, his favorite is actually mountain climbing.
Most mountains are far away from cities. If they are not famous scenic spots, you may not see anyone even if you walk a long way during the off-season. There was only the sound of wind in my ears, and when I looked up I could only see green trees and the blue sky and white clouds above them.
He could see the mountain now, too. Majestic and distant.
Xuan Yang reappeared at the door, holding a teapot in his left hand and a bag of flower cakes in his right hand, looking a little bit at a loss.
Jie Xichao took the teapot for him, so Xuan Yang was able to free his left hand which was not so used to it.
The two of them sat down in the inn where TP had filmed the group variety show. It was the off-season for tourism and it was afternoon. The open-air tea table in the garden was quiet, with only the two of them.
Xuan Yang drank a sip of tea first. His hands were shaking from carrying things. He said while shaking, "I saw the trending searches. You have a lot of fans tagging you."
It was no surprise that their appearance in K City became the number one trending search topic. In addition to watching the fun and making jokes, there are also people urging Jie Xichao to come back to film and appear on the show. Fans are the most sensitive. If Jie Xichao had a good reputation, his studio would have been exposed long ago if he had changed his personality.
Xie Xichao said: "It's okay. I am a missing person now. They care about me more."
Xuan Yang pursed his lips, but was still amused by him.
Xie Xichao hesitated for a moment: "...Actually, I'm not that unhappy."
"How did you know that?" he asked.
He was really confused.
He is clear about his strengths. The system has a quantitative evaluation system, and he got full marks in emotional control. Even someone as close as Fang Qingqing only found out about his recent problems after he took the initiative to explain.
Promulgating this sentence has a bit of a blunt tone. He began to unconsciously suspect that he had become a pervert because he had been alone for too long.
He asked directly, and Xuan Yang felt a little embarrassed:
"I don't know either."
He thought for a moment: "…but it seems pretty obvious to me."
"You've actually been, um, quite tense." Xuan Yang scratched his hair. "Actually, when we were filming, I wanted to advise you to rest more, but I felt you could handle it, so I didn't say anything."
Xie Xichao’s aura is too strong. People around him habitually regard him as the backbone.
The backbone is the one who gives direction to others and is itself a synonym for firmness and composure. Few people worry about not being able to handle their own affairs well. This is a blind spot in thinking.
Xuan Yang asked quietly, "Can you tell me about it?"
He looks a lot like his cat. There is a kind of dull honesty. Xie Xichao thought that artists were naturally gifted in terms of emotions, but at the same time... he had a feeling of resignation.
He should go back.
He knows.
He really wanted to ignore it. After all, after so many days, he could feel that the feeling of something being wrong was actually just a very subtle one and would not have much impact. In other words, he can actually coexist with this subtle emotion.
But he was a little unwilling.
There were few questions to which he did not find an answer. It makes him always want to get to the bottom of things when he encounters something rare.
But he couldn't find it.
I don’t know if it was his subconscious mind that eroded his IQ, causing him to subconsciously avoid it, or if this question simply had no answer.
In short, Xie Xichao realized that unless he sought help from outside, he might not be able to figure it out in a short period of time.
...This is the author of "Tao Xia", he thought.
Xie Xichao doesn't really believe in fate. But he trusts his sixth sense.
He had a vague idea that maybe it was fate that made Xuan Yang leave his bag in the car - he felt sorry for himself, Xuan Yang was still waiting for him, looking very serious and patient, so Jie Xichao made a decision.
"All right," he said.
-
Obviously, things about the system cannot be discussed. Xie Xichao thought that thanks to the reports of the medical miracle, he was able to add various explanations to the coma that no one could confirm.
The mission was a dream, and the system settlement was a conscious struggle between life and death. The dream gave birth to ambition and desire, leading him to embark on this path. Xie Xichao felt that the fantasy level of this matter had surpassed the incident when he picked up Xuan Yang in K City, but Xuan Yang listened very seriously.
Jie Xichao felt slightly relieved.
But he soon discovered that the story was actually unimportant because he didn't actually know which part of the story was the problem.
He tried to start from the beginning of the story. He said, "When I... first woke up."
Um.
Where did he see the recruitment for "Super New"?
During the few seconds he recalled, Xuan Yang looked at him and suddenly said:
"Are you scared?"
Xie Xichao stopped and asked, "What?"
"Ah." Xuan Yang said, "I asked you if you were scared at that time. When you woke up."
Xuan Yang pushed up his glasses. For some reason, Jie Xichao saw on his face a kind of shrewdness that was unique to someone at work, which was very different from his usual dullness, but this was obviously not the point at the moment.
"If you were conscious, you would want to wake up." Xuan Yang looked at him and said seriously, "You can clearly feel that hope is ahead, but you can't get any definite feedback. When you really wake up, you probably won't feel happy for a short period of time."
What is that.
Uneasy, nervous.
When I close my eyes, I worry about falling back into that illusion.
You need to confirm all the time whether you really exist.
What is the best way to confirm your existence in this world?
Xie Xichao moved his lips.
Xuan Yang has already given the answer:
“Being needed.”
*
For a long time, Xie Xichao was unable to speak.
After a moment, he said, "...I thought I wouldn't do something I don't like just to confirm something."
"There's no conflict between the two." Xuan Yang didn't expect to hit the core issue right away. He tried to analyze for Jie Xichao, "You are indeed very talented and you like this line of work. But, you know, living under the spotlight and surrounded by fans is indeed the fastest way to feel 'existence'."
Xie Xichao looked at him, and Xuan Yang shrank his neck: "Actually, you don't have to worry too much. I don't think your problem is very serious."
Xie Xichao is just...
Work very hard.
Try to keep yourself busy and fill your life with the things you once wanted to do most. At the same time, I draw energy from this career that allows me to maintain emotional stability.
The difference from pure effort is that the starting point of his effort is escape. He fills his time with fast-paced busyness, sets goals for himself artificially, and tries his best to complete them, thereby escaping the fear and anxiety brought about by the death threats he has experienced before. This is a kind of spiritual escape that even Jie Xichao himself is not aware of. It is a subconscious protection mechanism.
But the problem remains.
Fame, fortune, status and money piled him high into the clouds. All goals will eventually be achieved, let alone someone like Jie Xichao.
Today, he no longer needs to move forward. He has reached the top of the pyramid from chaos. This top of the pyramid is full of decadence and luxury, like another illusion. But Xie Xichao himself has never been a person who would indulge in illusions.
So, although everything seemed fine in the eyes of others, for Jie Xichao, it became a place for him to re-examine his experiences along the way.
He began to ask himself, why did I start in the first place. Why did I come here. Are all the things I have now what I really need?
The answer is no or no, it doesn’t really matter.
What’s important is that the spiritual illness that was originally suppressed by ambition and unwillingness has finally seen the light of day.
-
Xie Xichao said: "So, actually I am afraid."
Xuan Yang said cautiously: "If you can realize it, it means you should no longer be afraid."
Although it is a serious illness, Xie Xichao's experience along the way is real and the gains are also real. It was just because his motivation was not so pure at the beginning, and he was a person who was very good at introspection and reflection, so he realized something was wrong after everything was perfect, and he was trapped in his emotions for a while.
If it were other people, they would either be defeated by PTSD as soon as they woke up and have to undergo psychological treatment, or they would be lost in the glamour of life and completely forget their starting point.
Xie Xichao corrected himself: "Okay, then I was very scared when I first woke up. So I became a workaholic. I worked too long, and my PTSD was forcibly cured, but my brain just reacted and started to settle old scores."
Xuan Yang felt that it was inappropriate to laugh now, so he held it back.
He said with difficulty: "Can you please not tell jokes at this serious moment?"
Xie Xichao didn't smile.
After a while, he said, "Advocacy."
Xuan Yang: “Hmm?”
Xie Xichao exhaled softly: "Actually, now that I think about it, I'm still quite scared."
Xuan Yang looked at him.
"It's pretty scary." He considered his words, "You don't know that feeling."
He had always felt that his attitude toward the system was... complicated.
gratitude? I am very grateful that the system gave him a second life.
But it’s also really hard.
Because of his happy family and smooth life, Xie Xichao's personality can be considered a very healthy type. But even for him, when faced with an unknown future and one piece of virtual data after another, he would occasionally feel like he was going to collapse.
The end of each mission is a countdown to death. Although he didn't really die, he would always think of the moment of the car accident, the heart-wrenching pain and the loss of consciousness. The repeated experience of this shadow is a torture for anyone. The so-called task completion rate is another kind of mental pressure. Because he knew very well that if he didn't achieve the results required by the system, he would never be able to come back.
Xie Xichao always remembered the moment when he stood at the exit of the system. Behind the faint white halo was his new life.
People always beautify the pain when they recall it.
Only today did he realize how much psychological trauma the experience had left on him.
Of course it felt easy when he actually said it, but Jie Xichao knew that this shadow would not disappear with the answer to the question.
Xuan Yang thought that he was just fighting against the chaos in his consciousness, but only he knew that he had truly experienced all the complicated things.
What should I do?
Jie Xichao sighed.
Come on little by little.
First face and confront the problem, and then slowly learn to accept it. This process may require some help from a professional.
He was not the kind of person who would complain about himself. What troubled him from beginning to end was only emotional fluctuations without a source. Now that the problem had been found, he relaxed.
Traveling is still very useful.
Relaxation and healing go a long way toward reducing the anxiety and distress that can easily occur under high stress. Let him think calmly now.
He said, “I’m going to call my agent.”
Xuan Yang was stunned for a moment and asked, "Are you planning to go back to work?"
"Yeah." Xie Xichao said, and he smiled, "We can't just stop when there's a problem, life still has to go on."
"But I won't work as hard as before. I'll go back and shoot a lighter film and take fewer jobs." He said, "Well... and see if I can find some other hobbies to distract myself."
He thinks it's a good idea to have a cat.
In a short while, he had made all the plans for his future.
Xuan Yang's expression looked a little conflicted.
He said, “Can I do it?”
Xie Xichao: “…”
He was still immersed in the idea of raising a cat and hadn't come back to his senses:
"……ah?"
"Can you shoot according to my script? It may not be very relaxing, but it's not particularly depressing either." Xuan Yang's expression became more tangled, and he whispered, "The script can be changed. But I think..."
He mustered up his courage and said, "I was a little hesitant at first, because Dewey said that you have only acted in three plays, and your second one is a transitional movie, so your studio might be more cautious. But after listening to what you said, I think this script is really suitable for you."
He rummaged in his bag for a long time and pulled out a worn notebook.
Jie Xichao just saw this book. That was why he was sure that Xuan Yang might not have come to see him on purpose. Because in addition to the script, his bag also contained a thick stack of manuscripts, a camera and a recorder.
During this period, Xuan Yang should have been collecting folk songs from various places.
He took it and felt that he still needed to explain: "It's okay for the second time, after all, there are already results. It's just that..."
He wanted to say, "It's just that the spirit of your film is really beautiful, and I may not be able to do it now." But this is not very tactful. While thinking, he looked down at the title of the script on the cover:
There were two words written with a pen, and the surrounding phrases were crossed out several times, making the handwriting unclear. The final version is:
The Player
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